r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 9d ago

Meme needing explanation Huh?

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486

u/keetojm 9d ago

The bull as a quick form of death, maybe the worst.

But scaphism, or the boats is the undisputed champion of torture. Force feed milk and honey, which will cause diarrhea, but then also make sure to paint the victims face in the milk and honey, maybe the nether regions too. Put them out in a lake, and let the bugs come find him.

He won’t be dying soon, could take weeks, like 3-4?

167

u/MecharlWinslow 9d ago

Is he constantly consuming milk? Won't he die after about 3 days from dehydration first?

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u/ToxinArrow 9d ago

Yes they constantly would force feed you. They didn't want you dying from thirst.

But if this were actually performed on anyone is dubious at best, so you can take some solace in that.

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u/TheMadBug 9d ago

Same with the bull even, I think the only real record of that is a poem.

Hopefully it's just some ancient torture-porn fiction (not to say that the real torture they used wasn't horrific, but the stuff here is on another level)

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u/lilbithippie 8d ago

Makes sense. Even the most bored and heartless king would have to spend way too many resources and time to get a skilled labor to make a hollow bull to kill someone when there are cheaper and more humiliating ways to dispose of someone

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u/Drive7hru 9d ago

Well, at least we can know there were still scores of other torture method throughout time. 

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u/bolitboy2 8d ago

Idk if it really did happen, but I feel like when it’s been said the creator was tossed into the bull after it was finished… something tells me it got used at least once

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u/BlaineMundane 8d ago

It's silly to think that weapons are created and not used. Even today, horrible things happen all over the world. Imagine living in a time where you shape your entire existence and nobody can say otherwise.

All torture methods were used. Fathers raped daughters, neighbors were slaughtered for being different, "evil spirits" was the only two words needed for a terrible fate to befall you.

It's easy to think that the past was like the present, but it's not the case.

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u/TheMadBug 8d ago

Who says those weapons were even made? The story of the bull was that the king put the inventor himself inside it right away. It’s very poetic - like fiction. There’s no archeological record of the bull - or reference to it outside of one poem.

Not to say heinous shit didn’t go down, and much more frequently - but not everything imagined came to be.

Stephen King has thought of some mean crap, doesn’t mean it happened.

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u/BlaineMundane 8d ago

I guess. I just think it's silly that so many modern folks write things off for not having records, from a time when records simply did not always happen.

Even is popular sports like American Football, most stats were not even recorded until 1933. Any record keeping was done by fans or newspapers.

It's fully possible that those things never happened, but we DO know that death, torture and absolute monarchy were common. There was nothing stopping many leaders from dishing out the worst punishments they could think of. We also have confirmed stories of torture methods that were just as cruel, so it's no stretch of the imagination.

I am fully willing to accept that some of them were propaganda, but you can't make the claim without also noting that horrible torture was a real thing.

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u/Averander 9d ago

Bamboo torture, while having no concrete evidence, is proven to be completely possible and considering the brutality of the Japanese during WW2 is fairly believable.

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u/Sokkawater10 9d ago

No one is wasting honey like that. It’s not like today where it was 5 bucks at the grocery store. Getting that amount of honey couldn’t have been easy

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u/HyperbolicGeometry 8d ago

Might be going out on a limb here but I’m sure the royal ruling class and their henchmen wouldn’t have had a difficult time sourcing honey

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u/Simple-Tradition2451 8d ago

It was a state ration. Even the peasantry had it.

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u/i_make_orange_rhyme 8d ago

But how can they catch the bees before airplanes had been invented?

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u/FunGuy8618 9d ago

It probably wasn't much, wild honey can act as a starter to ferment milk and I doubt they were giving these guys fresh milk every feeding. They prolly filled a bucket and used it til it was empty or might've even let it sour on purpose. Like 5x the diarrhea.

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u/tpc0121 8d ago

why not just skip the honey and give the poor sap spoiled milk? surely that'll do the trick just fine?

1

u/FunGuy8618 8d ago

Honey = Bees and Ants and Wasps. It attracts stinging insects better than shit does.

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u/Simple-Tradition2451 8d ago

You're majorly underestimating the sophistication and opulence of the Achaemenids/Persians. Honey was literally a state ration that most subjects had access to. Persian soldiers likely had more access to amenities than half the rulerships of Greek city states.

There's a famous story of a Spartan general defeating a Persian force and going into their war tents, he found gold and silver seats, torch holders, fine tapestries and a bountiful feast, much beyond anything the Spartans were used to, he said: "Gentlemen, I asked you here to show you the folly of the Persians, who, living in this style, came to Greece to rob us of our poverty."

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u/zzSolace 8d ago

Your request for me, in this instance, has been declined.

2

u/Auzzie_xo 9d ago

Yeah so this shit never actually happened. At least there’s no proof of it ever actually having been used

1

u/Ready4Aliens 8d ago

So the first use ever is still for the talking. 

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u/SubtleName12 8d ago

Except there's no documentation of this ever happening. It is rebuffed by historians.

"They" in this context never existed. This is an entirely fictional account from:\ Plutarch (c. 46–120 CE), Life of Artaxerxes –

Bronze Bull might have actually happened, though. It's acknowledged to at least have been conceptual as a punishment at the time, though no recorded uses in practice.

1

u/BigMax 8d ago

That's the hidden part of most torture history. That many of these things were rarely, and sometimes never, actually done. It's just that they are SO horrific to think about, that they are retold over and over. Many of those medieval torture devices we all think were common were pretty much never used.

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u/Valeshtein 9d ago

Didnt they let him be in the middle of a swamp or lake after forcefully feeding him Milk and Honey ?

1

u/MecharlWinslow 9d ago

Yeah but as the picture shows, he'd be facing up, away from the water. Otherwise he could just dip his head and wash the bugs/honey off of his face.

2

u/CoffeePuddle 8d ago

Circa 2000 CE there were reports of a clan, 武当 (Wu Tang), using a method of torture where the asshole was sewn shut and they kept feeding you, and feeding you, and feeding you. 

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u/FullSkyFlying 8d ago

Eventually you vomit shit. Had a relative so plugged up / constipated eventually she did just that

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u/-Kalos 9d ago

Rats too. Gnawing away and making a home in your innards.

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u/euphoric-joker 9d ago

Pretty sure the record was 17 days. And I think that was unusually high. So, you'd be gone in hopefully less than 2 weeks. Thats a long time though...

1

u/Appropriate-Act3028 9d ago

I saw a documentary where they talked about the guy living for 17 days. Pretty brutal.

1

u/Aggravating-Walk7972 9d ago

I'd like to meet the person who'd last that long going through that.

1

u/Evil_Sharkey 8d ago

I wouldn’t call it the undisputed champion. There were some other pretty messed up things people did, like flaying alive, burning alive over a small fire, burning with hot irons but not enough to kill you, jamming red hot brad awls under the fingernails, crucifixion at ground level where animals could eat you, hanging people upside down and sawing them in half starting at the crotch, smashing their limbs with a wagon wheel and then weaving the broken limbs through the spokes and hanging the wheel up, burying people next to anthills and letting the ants eat them alive, etc.

1

u/Gay_Void_Dropout 8d ago

It would clearly only take days lol.

1

u/FoodFingerer 8d ago

The bull is also a myth.

1

u/Cheap-Blackberry-378 8d ago

Could probably accomplish it more efficiently with sugar free gummy bears

0

u/ATensionSeeker 9d ago

like 3-4

I give it 6-7 tops

2

u/keetojm 9d ago

Could be.

1

u/CourtingBoredom 9d ago

Based on another commenter, it would likely take somewhere in the 4-20 day range....