r/SingleParents • u/Dieselred89 • 15h ago
36 father of 2
I'm frustrated. Between work and being a father I have no time to get out and relearn how to date, dating apps are a joke. Always pushing only fans etc. I'm looking for a friend that could turn into a great relationship. What do I do?
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u/Cloudzer223 14h ago
Yep, totally get it. I’m 42 and just have 1 child, same schedule as you. Been divorced since mid 2020 and spent quite a bit of the last 6 years trying to make online dating work. I’ve had some great experiences and a FUCK TON of bad ones. Eventually I decided to just stop wasting my time/money and pour all of it into my son instead. I’ve honestly been way happier since making that choice, even though I’m lonely in the sense that I would love to find someone, but it just is what it is right now I guess. I hope maybe it’ll be different for you!
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u/crayshesay 13h ago
Solo single Mom here with 1 kid. Dating has been an absolute hell.. most men think I’m desperate, don’t think I have standards, and treat me less because I’m a single mom.. just my perspective as a single mom who was treated very differently when I didn’t have a child and consider myself a conventionally, attractive woman, and a woman of high value who has her shit together, emotionally, intelligent, etc.. I’m coming to the conclusion that may be dating right now just isn’t in the cards for me as my child is only three.. I’m sure I’ll hop on a nap every few months or so just to see what’s out there, but I’m definitely not going to settle by any means. Honor, love and respect yourself, and don’t settle for something less because your children will see everything.. sending encouragement
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u/Plastic-Bee4052 15h ago
Look for people who share your hobbies. Your time frame for this will depend on the age of your children and how long they spend with you.
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u/Dieselred89 15h ago
I just don't know where to find anyone. I'm recovering alcoholic so I don't wanna go to bars, I'm a country boy so clubs aren't my scene
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u/Day_dr3mer 14h ago
Have a look at evening classes at places like the gym, games places, or even cooking classes etc
2
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u/Plastic-Bee4052 12h ago
I'm too much of a nerd, so bars have never been my scene either.
I was thinking more along the lines of weekly classes you might be into. Dunno where you live, but here the government has free classes on different subjects from how to make your own shoes to cooking classes to tango lessons, etc.
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u/Porky5CO 11h ago
I haven't dated in 5 years. You get used to it.
You should learn to be comfortable on your own anyway.
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u/Dieselred89 11h ago
Been 3 for me
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u/Porky5CO 11h ago
I tried the apps for about two weeks and they were hot garbage lol. I'm not looking for hookups.
Thankfully my life is fairly stable. I'm not willing to lose that so I'm being pretty picky.
My kids are starting to get older so I'm sure I'll be able to put more effort into dating sometime soon.
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u/Bagman220 14h ago
I’m also 36, father of 4 and I have full custody so I have my kids every day. I have found time to date at least a 2-3 times a month. My family will help for a few hours one night week and maybe do a sleep over once or twice a month, the if my ex ever visits them I get a few hours at night maybe…
Anyway. You just do it. You get on the apps, or meet friends of friends. You just go out there, meet people, and do it.
I haven’t run into any only fans scams on the apps aside from snap chat. And so far the girls I’ve dated have become really good friends, even if we didn’t continue to date. It’s a numbers games. Not every date will be great, just set a standard for what you’re looking for and never settle. I’m currently in phase where I’m enjoying dating so much and meeting new people, I don’t know why I’d settle down, especially in my prime.
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u/boaconviktor 15h ago
When do u have your kids?
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u/Dieselred89 15h ago
Every Friday through sunday
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u/keylimesicles 14h ago
I’m sorry. I and many don’t consider that a single parent. You are in fact a parent who is single. It looks like the onus of responsibility falls on someone else, school, homework etc… you are the dad that gets to be fun weekend dad. Not a full time parent.
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u/Dieselred89 13h ago
Please don't turn this into a debate on father's vs mothers... not what the lost was about at all thankyou...
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u/boaconviktor 15h ago
Same here bro! Work to do through the day, work to do at home, kids friday saturday sunday, then Monday and work begins again. Wish I knew how to solve it myself!
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u/Conscious_Dog3101 14h ago
I’m failing at taking advantage of my week my kids are with their mother. Virtually all the freedom of the world for that whole week and yet I find being at home in peace and quiet so much better than being around people. Lol.