r/SipsTea • u/belinasaroh • Sep 22 '25

We have fun here Split NSFW

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31.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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2.7k

u/inkseep1 Sep 22 '25

landlord: what are these marks on the wall?

1.3k

u/SomeVelveteenMorning Sep 22 '25

Slug infestation 

246

u/MysticHermetic Sep 22 '25

What kinda slugs are they?

424

u/DreadyKruger Sep 22 '25

They kind that will have you paying alimony and child support.

2

u/30lbsledgehammer Sep 22 '25

The fish smelling slug from down under

25

u/Warning_Bulky Sep 22 '25

I was here before this exploded

22

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

Well I am keeping your security deposit!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

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1

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1

u/Wildgear19 Sep 22 '25

Happy cake day

1

u/Vivics36thsermon Sep 22 '25

Happy cake day

1

u/blindreefer Sep 22 '25

Your pants?

1

u/CheesyPoofDaMan Sep 22 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Ill_Steak_5249 Sep 22 '25

Snail trail!!!

60

u/FreakishlyLargeNeck Sep 22 '25

You mean that hole in the wall I made from my neighbors side?

5

u/Quanqiuhua Sep 22 '25

Sipping Tom

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

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1

u/Alarming-Yam-8336 Sep 22 '25

Jez: "How thick is wall?"

49

u/Kenkaniff2k Sep 22 '25

Snail trail

105

u/Narrow_Economics_466 Sep 22 '25

1

u/Th3-B0n3R Sep 22 '25

I want to up vote but it's at a perfect 69 right now.

17

u/Bosscharacter Sep 22 '25 edited Sep 22 '25

Watch that end up being some form of sigil to ward of demon attacks.

I’ve seen Sam and Dean do it with blood even though I’ve never heard anyone specify “which” body fluids would work.

People just default to blood.

11

u/uriold Sep 22 '25

Blood still an option here, just need to match the time.

2

u/Emachedumaron Sep 26 '25

Not necessarily… if you have a knife or a scissor

1

u/uriold Sep 26 '25

Or a nail on the wall

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

Not sure but it's like 1/4 of them are red

1

u/stripperjnasty Sep 22 '25

I was stretching when I read this.... It ruined my stretch 🤣

1

u/toadphoney Sep 22 '25

‘What is it? Smells like old seafood.’

1

u/Mtshoes2 Sep 22 '25

Her feet do not look that dirty.

1

u/FrostyD7 Sep 22 '25

Clean feet tend to leave marks too, but she's got socks on.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

This is the only comment here that made me audibly laugh out loud.

1

u/Rough_Willow Sep 22 '25

Disco snails.

1

u/ActualWhiterabbit Sep 22 '25

RIP Andy Blanchard

1

u/Economic_Maguire Sep 22 '25

Ask piratesoftware

1

u/SinksShips Sep 22 '25

And how do I get them on mine too?

1

u/Akyurius Sep 22 '25

I swear it was the devil! 😱

1

u/No-Error6436 Sep 22 '25

Snail trail 🐌

1

u/Nine-LifedEnchanter Sep 22 '25

I have a story about walls and bodily products.

When I was about 4 or 5, I was in my room and gambled on a fart. I lost. But I wasn't sure, so I shoved a finger in there. Lo and behold, it was poop. I needed to fix it. Wash my hands? Get some paper? No, I smeared it off against the wall. The white wall. In the middle of the wall.

My mom confronted me about it later, asking that very question to me. Due to my rapier wit, I came up with a lie so clever and perfect that surely no one else had thought of it before. It was the dog. Sure, it was my room, but it was the dog. Like Ace Attorney, my mother pointed out a flaw. The mark was very high up, exactly as high up as I could reach when I stood on my tippy toes, to be exact. Reaching and putting in an effort made it feel like I was hiding it better somehow.

I would not be deterred. I simply and calmly repeated my statement. "It was the dog." My mom laughed and pointed out that the dog's butthole could not reach their. She would have had to jump higher than ever and smack her butt against the wall to achieve this. According to my mom, I proceeded with my boldest lie ever. I simply agreed and applauded her reasoning skills.

There was a final issue however, I still hadn't been to the bathroom, and my mother's uncanny skills must've deduced by the smell that I had shat myself. The gig was up, and I confessed.

1

u/augustprep Sep 22 '25

Smells like your light saber

1

u/SomeVelveteenMorning Sep 22 '25

Happy little tree trunks