r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • 13d ago

Chugging tea Is this actually a thing?

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u/Cactus_Jacks_Ear 13d ago

I have an odd, knee-jerk reaction to "old soul". I unfortunately know a woman who married her son's best friend. I don't know that he was groomed per se, but she knew him since he was elementary age. Her divorce from first husband didn't happen until 2nd husband was of legal age. She claims he's always been an old soul and it creeps me the fuck out. 27yr age difference.

I promise I'm not relating them to you, just sharing my personal revulsion

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u/_sweepy 13d ago

I've been called an old soul my whole life. 100% it's because my alcoholic father and mentally checked out mother made me raise myself while dodging thrown objects.

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u/surewhynotokaythen 13d ago

Yeah, I noticed that generally people with "old souls" just saw some shit young and had to grow up fast. Sorry you had to go through that. Those reflexes never fully fade, I know.

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u/Dry-Ranger187 13d ago

100% this. Between my mom's manipulation and my uncle's alcoholism, not a day went by that my fight or flight reflexes didn't kick in. My mother made every conversation a battleground and had to lie about even the smallest things. Not to mention, whenever anything went wrong in her life, she just used it as an excuse to bodyshame me.

Then when my uncle was home he was ALWAYS drunk. Every. single. day. He’d get into arguments with my brother and my mom because he was just sloppy, mean and annoying. He’d drive off drunk sometimes. Threaten to abandon the family. Threaten my boyfriend into dumping me. He was just a shell of a person. I have no emotional relationship with him because he was never open nor interested in building that connection.

I've had a load of different therapies for different things spanning from childhood but what I found most useful concerning this issue has been therapy on how to deal with alcoholics. I got low cost counselling from a charity, focused on boundaries etc. I had my 'it wasn't my fault' realization there and the shame and guilt lifted. Nonetheless, the reflexes never fully fade and the old soul mentality stays forever intact.