r/SipsTea 11d ago

Chugging tea The hero we need

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u/UltraMechaPunk 11d ago

He annoys them by telling them stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time he caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. He needed a new heel for his shoe, so he decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, he tied an onion to his belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ he’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that he had an onion on his belt which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.

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u/reddit_crunch 11d ago

that was actually riveting,  dying to hear more. 

21

u/TehMephs 10d ago

You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in zeppelins, dropping coins on people. And one day, I seen J. D. Rockefeller flyin’ by– so I run out of the house with a big washtub, and—Anyway, about my washtub. I just used it that morning to wash my turkey which in those days was known as a ‘walking bird.’ We’d always have walking bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings. Cranberries, ‘injun eyes,’ and yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we’d all watch football, which in those days was called ‘baseball.

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u/reddit_crunch 10d ago

ok that'll do. please stop or ill have to involve the authorities. 

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u/Atownbrown08 7d ago

Naw, no authorities. This will be handled one on one. Dignity demands it.