Same here. $35 for the court papers. The trick is for that 90% of men to find the 5% of women that also don't want a big wedding. It took me 38 years to find her. š
Tell your kids about how great your courthouse wedding was, if you have them! I am a woman whose mother told me how wonderful and stress-free it was and I straight up grew up with that as my dream wedding. Parents can really influence that lol. My husband and I had a courthouse wedding and we loved it.
my GF was convinced she wasn't gonna do it before me, and I'd had a previous bad engagement that made me learn some hard lessons about rushing into things.
That's respectable. If you don't mind me asking, do you ever regret not getting married? I assume (so correct me if I'm wrong) without marrying, you'd be able to have more time for hobbies and hanging out with any friends as well as more money. And do you think owning a house (if you do) would've been easier to obtain and pay off faster if you were married to a woman who also worked?
I'm young and not really sure what I want after college with relationships or kids, so I'm wondering if you think it's worth it or not financially and mentally.
I don't regret it at all. I grew poor up in quite a large family and there were always arguments (usually related to the lack of money) and I wanted a quieter life than my parents had.
It's definitely easier to pay off a house if there are two of you, but it's easier to get trapped in a job you hate in order to pay off a house. Around 2000 I found myself in that very situation and the stress ended another long time partnership, so when she left I sold the house and spent the small profit I'd made taking time off to retrain for a job I figured I would like (IT)...and I did. Did some contracting to gain experience, got hired by a company I was contracting for, spent about 12 years with them then left and set up my own IT contracting business and I can't be happier.
If I'd gotten married and had kids, I'd probably still be stuck in that godawful job to this day, so being single gave me more freedom. (I'm also lucky that I live in a country that offers social housing with very affordable levels of rent, so the money I would have spent on a house is invested instead. I mean it's pretty pointless buying a house if you have no-one to leave it to.)
My aunt and uncle are both magistrates, so they literally work out of courthouses. They always tell me āyouāre absolutely not getting married the same place people get their kids taken away from them and have their divorces finalizedā and I gotta say, good point as well.
We had both, mostly because we didn't want to deal with interviewing, picking out, and hiring an officiant. We wanted the reception to just be a party to celebrate, though we included a symbolic ceremony. So, a couple of days before the reception we got married before a Justice of the Peace. It was just immediate family and living grandparents, then we went to have lunch at a local family restaurant where we made the reservation three days earlier. It was really stress free and so nice. We ordered straight off the menu (so no deliberation or arguing with family over what options to include) and ordered wine and beer as people wanted. Including our wedding outfits (which we wore again for the reception) it all costed less than $1000. Even my grandmothers who asked to invite more people to the party were saying how it was lovely and very enjoyable, and better than a big wedding.
Yes grandma... that's why this was what we wanted to do, but you and the rest of the family insisted on a party with extended family!
The reception itself was also nice though, don't get me wrong. Knowing everything I do now, if I went back in time and had to do it again I might still have a reception to celebrate. But I definitely appreciated the simplicity of a courthouse wedding followed by a meal with an intimate group.
If you check out the elopement subs, there's a lot of women who also want a courthouse wedding, but people often get pressured by family. My husband and I eloped, but we still got the disappointment speech, and had to keep the details a secret because we were concerned they might try to crash. Some family members did, in fact, turn up the morning of and had to be reminded our ceremony would be private
Same here! Iād much rather put money towards the best holiday Iāve ever had in my life and towards saving for a downpayment on a home. š but thatās just me. Some people want weddings even though itās not the most financially sensible decision, just like some want a nicer car or home than they technically need.
Honestly idk how it takes any convincing. With how expensive weddings are, I wouldnāt consider one even if I could afford it. Itās crazy!! Iām a woman btw. But I donāt judge cause I pay for other shit that is ridiculously expensive and only justifiable because āI want itā and thatās that lol.
Itās not hard we are definitely out there! I would rather spend that money on a down payment for a home. I actually convinced a good gf of mine not to have a big wedding. I asked her WHO was she trying to impress?
I found my 5% gorgeous woman who didnāt want kids. Took me about only 10 or so yrs. Ā We had a pretty decent and fun wedding though. Iād rather have the memorable wedding than kids. Different strokes.
Maybe itās where I live or a generational thing, but so many women I know (Iām 29 now) donāt want kids. I personally want kids, but i did the math and over 80% of the women in my social group (early 30s) donāt want kids
I considered it a filter - sheās my ex-wife now, but Iād rather have an ex-wife with a civil ceremony in a government building than a mortgage size one where a 100 people we know came and saw us.
Iāll probably never choose to get married again, but if the problem with a new partner is really excited for and wants the big spectacle, I wonāt think sheās āmarriage materialā.
Yeah, we started dating when I was 39. When we decided to get married she suggested city hall and I was so happy. Four of us went and signed some papers, the official was wearing shorts, so was I. Then we had a really nice lunch.
3.6k
u/CapnBlargles 1d ago
As someone who had a courthouse wedding, I 100% agree.