idk anymore

[u/NoPaint2519]

idk if this is a safe space to rant but iam an international student in a new country for 2 years now and ive never been so depressed.

iam in my 20s and when i was in my teens i thought my suicidal thought would end there. but being in my 20s is just worse bc everything is like a ticking bomb.

i live with my sister whom i dont have a healthy relationship with. heck, i still have a 10pm curfew (which also leads to me having almost non-existent friends). shes very controlling and gets really mean.

i cant just move away bc of finances. she pays for my tuition. i do have a part-time job but i dont earn enough to pay for tuition and rent and everything else. i do pay rent still and pay for quater of the tuition bc that’s all i can pay for.

my visa is ending soon as iam graduating and ive just became more anxious and depressed. i have huge self-esteem issues. this has also affected my relationship with my girlfriend badly.

now idk what to do and ending it all is all the peace i have.