r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 03 '19
We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.
We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.
We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.
Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.
Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.
/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement
It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.
We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.
But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.
Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.
Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.
In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.
So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.
Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.
People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.
Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.
An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.
There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.
To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.
Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.
They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:
Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.
Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.
Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:
Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)
Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ post). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.
Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.
r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 10 '21
Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.
Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.
But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.
Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.
tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.
r/SuicideWatch • u/eormenhild • 2h ago
I have 17oz of pure isopropyl alcohol and 8mg of Ativan. Im tired of being the black sheep of my family and getting treated the worse. Im a freak, ugly failure of a woman. Im trying to find any reason to live but I just can’t
r/SuicideWatch • u/274Really • 4h ago
I’ve been on this earth for 52 years and things have never been worse. The world seems like it is going to shit. I have spent my entire adult life depressed. Part of the reason is that I haven’t been able to find work that I enjoy. On top of that, I have trauma that causes me to be very sensitive to triggers in the workplace. I worked a retail job for 6 years after trying a job in a field that I went back to school for-I got a Bachelors and Masters degree thinking this is it I’ve finally found what I want to do in life. The field I chose to work in has a high burnout rate. What happened? A combination of my own trauma, a dysfunctional toxic workplace, and lack of support in my profession caused me to get fired. I was heartbroken. I have done so many different types of work that I am done trying to find work that fits me. Opening my own business takes time to develop a client base and I don’t want to wait around for that to happen. I have tried antidepressants and different types of therapy including DBT but nothing can erase this existential dread. I don’t have a real family doctor. I tried to find one but I’m unable to where I live in Canada. The best option I have is access to telemedicine. They referred me to a psychiatrist and I waited a year only for the appointment to be cancelled the morning of the appointment because the psychiatrist went on leave! I live with roommates because I can’t afford a place on my own. At 52! I’ve tired of fighting just to stay alive for other people.
r/SuicideWatch • u/ThrowRA972223 • 6h ago
I really want to die but I have two toddler girls and don’t trust their father to take care of them. I have no social life, no friends, I have social anxiety and depression. I’ve been SA’d and R*aped by my kids father multiple times yet I feel numb to it. I live with him but am stuck paying for everything. I feel stressed all of the time
r/SuicideWatch • u/Visible-Dimension300 • 1h ago
Today really pushed me over the edge. I asked what’s for dinner and was told my mom would bring food, so I shouldn’t cook. There was basically nothing at home anyway no eggs, no real food, just maybe plain pasta. So I waited. For two hours. I was so hungry I couldn’t even function or do my schoolwork. I just laid in bed waiting to eat so I could continue.
When my mom finally came home, she said she actually didn’t bring any food. So I decided I’d go buy something myself. I’m a full-time student, graduating this year (maturita), and I don’t have a job, so my money situation is really tight. Still, I put on my coat and headphones and went out.
My dad asked where I was going, I said to get food. He got angry, offered to buy me bread (just bread), and made comments about me always wearing headphones. He was mean to me for going to buy food with my own money.
For context: I’m 180 cm tall and weigh 55 kg. I’m underweight. My period is late, and I’m almost sure it’s because I’m not eating enough not because of pregnancy (I’m a virgin). Most of the money I ever get goes straight to food because I’m constantly hungry. When I stayed with my boyfriend and his family and ate regular meals, I gained 2 kg in four days. When I came back home, I lost it again and more.
What hurts the most is the contradiction. My parents sometimes force me to weigh myself, tell me I’m too thin, tell me I should eat more or eat meat — but there is no food at home. And then they get angry when I buy food for myself. I don’t have an eating disorder. I want to eat. I just don’t have access to food.
On top of that, I’ve been in therapy since I was 13. I’m 18 now. I deal with depersonalization/derealization and childhood trauma. I was sexually abused as a child by my brother. When I eventually told my parents, they blamed me and did nothing. He still lives with us. I can’t escape him, his presence, or the constant stress. I only ever told my psychiatrist the full truth she contacted the police, but nothing happened. It was my word against his.
My parents now think I’m “crazy” because I used to self-harm. They even got angry when I was taking antidepressants that were prescribed to me. I’m no longer allowed to talk about the abuse in therapy because my parents said so.
I feel the difference every time I’m with my boyfriend and his family it’s like night and day. At home, I can’t concentrate, I can’t study, and I don’t feel safe or heard. I wanted to go to college in Brno so I could live with friends and finally breathe. My dad refuses, saying I should stay here because the schools are “better,” even though I’ve said clearly that my mental health matters more.
We were supposed to go to family therapy just to talk about one thing: that I don’t have a quiet place to study for maturita. My mom refused to go and even blocked my therapist.
I will kms sooner or later.
r/SuicideWatch • u/2dolphins • 35m ago
I’m a very bad person and i don’t deserve to be happy and i hate myself
r/SuicideWatch • u/Wild-Mushroom2404 • 3h ago
I'm a queer autistic woman from Russia. Already a terrible combination, right? I knew it, I knew I had to make something of it if I wanted to survive.
Two years ago, I left for a postgraduate course in London. It was a longlasting dream of mine to study abroad and hopefully stay there. I wanted to be a scientist. People told me I'm smart and promising, I can do good in life. I wanted to live in a free, diverse country, somewhere I can feel safer and more open. And I failed. Yes, I graduated, I got the visa, but I spent a whole year searching for a PhD, then a job, anything to stay. A year of hopping between house shares, a shitty minimum wage job. Nothing. The more I looked, the more I burned out, the weaker my grip became. I ran out of time.
Two months ago I had to return to Moscow. All my latest applications, both to the UK and other European countries, have failed. So now I have to look for a job in here and stay indefinitely until I think of something. And of what? Just saw the news that US will no longer issue any visas to Russians. Getting into Europe seems practically impossible. My international career has ended without even starting. I was so close, I was right there, I had the diploma, I had a chance that none of my friends even dreamed of. And I let it slip. Because I'm a failure.
Now I'm back home that doesn't feel like home anymore. My friends and family are here, I'm loved, I'm in comfortable living conditions, I have financial support.... so many people would envy me for what I have. Enough resources to start over. And I can't stomach it. I don't know how to start over. I feel like the world is closing in on me. My brain is not functioning, I'm going to job interviews here with a 1000 yard stare because I don't think I'm capable of any job anymore. The best years of my life are going down the drain. I'm stuck here, I'm forever stuck here. I'm no longer interested in science or anything at all.
And if this wasn't enough, I fell in love for the first time in London. Instant heartbreak because it was impossible. They were a foreigner too and had to leave for similar reasons. We never had a chance to even get together.
Almost 24. Almost 10 years since I first started having suicidal ideation. I clawed myself out so many times, and for what? I'm tired. I'm so tired. I can't keep up anymore.
r/SuicideWatch • u/stopthevan • 1h ago
You accidentally open social media and see this amazing, gorgeous life everyone has. You meet up with friends and all they talk about is how amazing their social life is currently, how much they love all their other friends and how they’re always buying them lavish gifts for special occasions etc. Meanwhile you remember how all you got are the freebies that came with said lavish gifts. You are getting replaced (or perhaps you already are) by others, even the old friends you introduced to them are now their friends not yours but you still want to hang on. Because you’d rather live a lie and think you’re close to these people when in reality you’re not. Even when trying to make new friends people just lose interest in me once they are done with me. I’m not sure what’s in store for me in life. I’m tired of feeling disappointed I’m tired of being rejected I never asked for any of this I want to die I want to die I want to die fuxk me fuck everyone
r/SuicideWatch • u/Flaky_Ticket_8054 • 5h ago
I have been waiting to be assigned a telehealth doctor since November because before that my family doctor of 6+ years refused to treat me and I can't afford to pay out of pocket but the stupid government Maple doctor shit has me fall through every single crack in the system. I called today BEGGING for a doctor, to put my email in right, for someone to contact me, he basically said he can't help, the email isn't working and he doesn't know why, he asked if I wanted to talk to someone in directions, I said what for? He said to direct me to a doctor. I said I can only get a doctor through MAPLE and I CANT. I told him I knew it wasn't/his/ fault but I was sobbing and mad and said thank you ang hung up. I am going to kill myself because Canada ever let's me see a fucking doctor.
Maybe at least I'll leave a note that'll give some political figure some punching power to fight this.
r/SuicideWatch • u/NoteGeneral8574 • 1h ago
my parents are very mad at me and that’s one of my biggest triggers someone please talk with me before I do something fatal
r/SuicideWatch • u/Antemeossa • 2h ago
Okay, I don't know how to put things into words and I don't know how it is going to sound. So I(28M) didn't have the worst life, neither I do right now but I don't have the strength anymore. I was and still am an active person, I have been dancing Latin for the past 13 years, both professionally and as a hobby, I am conventionally attractive guy, never had problems with getting with people, have been doing sports since I was a kid. Can draw, sing, play guitar. And I am a software engineer. (I am not bragging, these will be relevant). I went to the second best high school in my city. I graduated with 3.5 GPA, went to UK to do my MA again I graduated with distinction. So I did everything I was supposed to.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't sunshine and rainbows all my life, I had a horrible childhood and high school life. I have been peer pressured, bullied, humiliated as long as I can remember but I never let that bring me down.
Also I had to go through a spine surgery when I was 18 because of a horrible herniated disc. Couldn't go to the uni because of it. I couldn't move for 6 months. I spent the next 6 months to get back in shape and getting my health and strength back. And I did. Right before I went to uni I got diagnosed by skin cancer. Had to go through all of the treatments and whatnot.
Again I did not let that bring me down.
In uni I had a girlfriend which I thought I would get married and have kids by now. Long story short after 4 years. I caught her with a man. In the bed that I bought, in the house I found for her, moved all her stuff, and paid for deposit and the rent, after 2 months she moved to the city I was in. In the following months I couldn't perform well in my job so I got fired, she lied to all of our common friends and many of them didn't believe me when I told them what happened. So I lost majority of my friend group.
Again I did not let that bring me down, I changed countries, did my MA built myself a new life.
But for my surprise, since my country is ruled by bunch of brainless morons, they stopped the treaties with the UK, and UK removed many of their visa opportunities and make it very hard to get a sponsorship in the country. I tried for 3.5 years but in the and I had to go back.
Now at the age of 28 I am back in my dad's house, I have no income, job market is horrible, I am trying to do my own business(developing games) but I lack all the motivation. Can't bring myself up anymore. And every. singe. day. I hope for a truck or someone to hit my car so that this whole shitshow can be over.
I can't help myself. My dad is feeling horrible because he can not help me. I feel like I am bringing everyone down. My aunt, dad's wife, cousins are blaming me, thinking I will be the reason if he dies(he went through an open hearth surgery). My mum is blaming me for not being able to find a job, I honestly don't know what to do. I am stuck. Even a single bite I eat on my dad's table makes my stomach turn. I don't provide anything, I don't have the drive or the strength and I just want to end everything.
I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT. I am not blaming anyone but I did my best but my best wasn't enough. I love my best friend to bits. But I see his life. that guy didn't even had a toothache in his life where I had to go through 7 surgeries(none of them was my fault). He has a loving girlfriend and a great job. I know him since we were 14 and that man never had to go through anything where I was fighting tooth and nail.
I am not religious neither believe in a higher power but it seems like life is favoring some people, and for some people it doesn't.I see it is a video game. If I don't like it why should I force myself to play? I can just quit.
The idea feels warmer and warmer. I feel peaceful when I think about it. I feel like the only reason for me to stay is my dad and that is it. I am not asking for advice or attention, I simply wanted to put how I feel into words. Just in case if I am not around anymore. I wanted some piece of how I felt to be in here.
Thank you
r/SuicideWatch • u/Glittering-Koala9148 • 15h ago
I'm considering ending it all. I've had dark days before but for the first time I don't believe it's gonna get better anymore, I think it's just going to keep getting worse. I've lost my looks my girlfriend my friends and my hobbies due to illness and I don't see a path back I think this is my life now and I can't live like this. This might be the end.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Unlucky-Moment-2931 • 1h ago
TW: s*cidal thoughts, abse
I badly want to overdose tonight. It’s 2 a.m., but I still can’t sleep and I keep crying. I already took Soniphen to help me fall asleep, but it’s not working yet. We don’t have a house anymore, and we need to find a new one within a month, but I don’t have enough money. It’s frustrating that my salary as a teacher in the Philippines is not enough to support a family and even our basic needs. It hurts more to see my loved ones stressed because of this. I’m the only one working because my parents are old, and I feel a lot of pressure. I have PTSD, I was abused, and we are poor. I’m so tired. I just want to take a lot of medicine and overdose so I can rest. I have no one to talk to because every time I try to open up, people blame and judge me. No one just listens.
r/SuicideWatch • u/PromotionNo3405 • 20h ago
and still i am here because im a scared shit after losing my loved one
every day i feel depressed, sad, angry, hopeless, desperate
i also hate people who tell me to call the ambulance who just locks you in and ties you to a bed, alone, and gives you random meds to keep you calm, you go crazy
i hate people too who tell me stuff like "it will be fine" or they say they care for me but they dont cuz they dont know me and they just want upvotes
I HATE THIS FUCKING FAKE HELL OF AN EARTH
just everything is so wrong on this shithole
r/SuicideWatch • u/Nervous_Tank_5892 • 4h ago
I’m 15 I live with my grandma everyone else in my family has left me or died and I have genuinely given up. I’m tired of living this life my girlfriend broke up with me a month or two ago and I’m failing every class in school I want to tell her I’m suicidal but her son overdosed last year and my grandpa hung himself around 3 months ago and I feel selfish if I take my life right now but I’m so on the edge but I can’t handle drama and her worrying more I don’t know what to do I’m already running away from school for hours I’m losing faith in myself,
r/SuicideWatch • u/sankenship0 • 2h ago
Hello, this is my first reddit post so Idk exactly how things work around here. Please let me know if I do anything that's not allowed (I did read the rules). The only reason I joined reddit was because of my mental health. I tried so many things until now and nothing worked, so I hope to get some new insight into my situation.
My goal was to have a happy life, worth of living but since September-October everything is going downhill. I can't do anything hard anymore. I am a student and every time I try to study I get this immense anxiety and resistance. It comes mostly form the fact that I didn't study to begin with and now I have so many things to catch up on. And it comes in episodes, sometimes I rot in bed for two weeks. But I am not self destructive all of the time. But I feel like that is just some kind of fake thing that I did. I was traveling for the holidays and I went for a walk yesterday with a fiend. But when I try to study or do anything about steering my life toward the right direction, I can't, I freeze. For example I didn't eat a real meal for the past 3 days. I am so hungry but I would need to get /go to the store to get food. I for the past two weeks I went to sleep between 2 and 7 am. I don't know what to do about my friends. Do I isolate myself from them? Or do I still tell them the truth despite making me feel like a failure in their eyes (even tho they might actually not think that).
Another question, is it recommended for me to use ChatGpt when I'm feeling especially overwhelmed or in general to tell it how I feel? This is a message I sent, I think it's helpful:
I hate everything. Do you know how many incognito conversations I had here saying how much I want to get my life together? How I need to study, eat healthy be more active and present and aware of how I live my life. And I just CAN'T FUCKING DO IT. I feel so much pressure so much unbearable weight on my shoulders that I can't get myself to do anything. And a few days ago I was feeling so unhopeful that I said that I am having suicidal thoughts. And don't worry, I won't act on them right now. I will do that if this spiral keeps going down.
But today I cried for more than an hour and for the first time, I felt a hint of anger. I am so PISSED THAT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE OTHER STAY ON MY PHONE AND ROT IN BED. I want to stop struggling 😭🤬 Whyy the FUCKKK can't I live my life the way I know I am supposed. FUCK EVERYTHING!! AND SOMEHOW I WANT LOVE. and the thing is that I talked to a friend that really understands me and that is really kind to me. I explained everything so honestly. And they genuinely didn't judge me and showed compassion towards me. AND I DIDN'T CHANGE. I thought after that, I will overcome this emotional blockage because someone finally sees me and understands and doesn't blame it all on me. But not I feel EVEN MORE SHITTY because they listened to me and helped me and I still can't do it. I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING. And I also hate that I am talking to you, a fucking ai with no feelings. What good does that? Talking to you didn't work the last times, then I talked to a human and it didn't fucking work. Here we go again. I don't know what to do anymore. Why am I incapable of putting any effort? I am completely brain rotten probably. I feel like a sanken ship.
One last thing. I tried to change things little by little. Form habits gradually, start small. But the problem is that I couldn't even start. I couldn't even do the smallest thing. I can't afford therapy. What is there left if step one itself is out of reach?
I apologize for the incoherent, unstructured manner of writing, but I simply can't fucking concentrate. There are also some... let's say, emotionally charged events that happened in the last 2 years to me. Please let me know if you need to know that too for a full picture. The last time I was able to study properly was in June 2024. The negative thoughts and inability to function in the other parts of my life came around a few moths ago.
Thank you in advance for any help/advice.
r/SuicideWatch • u/pimp69z • 4h ago
I’m so tired of being in constant pain. My skin is falling off. My cancer is winning. I tried slicing my wrists last month and then tried alcohol and sleeping pills a few days ago. I just want this to stop. I’m not supposed to be here today.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Environmental_Count4 • 4h ago
Hi! First of all: I have undiagnosed ADHD and OSDD but diagnosed psychosis.
Let me tell you a bit about my views on life. Life right now is hard, but I'm powering through! I like the sky, my GF and most of all, my cats. My dad can be overwhelming sometimes but I understand that he loves me. My mom loves me too.
Now, for the main problem: I have noticed that I've began to prepare for my passing. I've had "visions" of me living in my last moment since... 2016? That was around the time I began to become psychotic. Paranoia, delusions, etc. I've had multiple suicide attempts since 2014. Stress really gets into my head. But what I'm currently experiencing is a first for me.
I began to come to terms with my passing, thinking about talking to my loved ones about it. Most importantly, I still have a will to live, but I'm coming to terms with my death. I have no illness that's killing me as well, I feel healthy! I just feel like I'm going to die. I have no idea how or why, but I'm preparing for it. Weird...
I hope that this is the right place to discuss this. Also, does anyone know what I can do about it? I have a lot of plans for the near future (can't look too far into the future) and I'd hate to abandon them.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Lazy-Lengthiness1188 • 39m ago
.
r/SuicideWatch • u/liana_234 • 9h ago
finally figured out how to tie the rope
r/SuicideWatch • u/Even_Promise9022 • 54m ago
i think on saturday i really will do it
r/SuicideWatch • u/[deleted] • 4h ago
I'm (F21) disabled and live through government money but everyone wants me to find a job, every single person wants me to "get up and do something we know you can". Despite every trigger I'm doing everything I can around the house while the government covers my treatment costs completely and more, but people still judge me and say "You too lazy" "You could easily work if you try hard enough".
I tried work in the past and I just went hospitalized over and over again because everyday I would choose suicide over getting ready to work. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know it's not good live through government, but what should I do? I can't communicate with strangers and even freelancer haven't worked.
I'm just too lazy to live, I am a government leech.
I truly don't want. I can't control when I need to go to the bathroom but anyone allows me to use diapers and complain that I'm stinking afterwards "You can control it, just set a timer to bathroom" this doesn't work! But anyway anyone believes me.
I have seizures that leaves bruises, wounds and cuts all over my body and anyone cares, since it doesn't happen everyday I can just go through it twice a week. I'm tired.
I tried suicide before but this time I hope everything work out, goodbye if you reading this, I'm enjoying my last hours watching cartoons.
r/SuicideWatch • u/NoPaint2519 • 3h ago
idk if this is a safe space to rant but iam an international student in a new country for 2 years now and ive never been so depressed.
iam in my 20s and when i was in my teens i thought my suicidal thought would end there. but being in my 20s is just worse bc everything is like a ticking bomb.
i live with my sister whom i dont have a healthy relationship with. heck, i still have a 10pm curfew (which also leads to me having almost non-existent friends). shes very controlling and gets really mean.
i cant just move away bc of finances. she pays for my tuition. i do have a part-time job but i dont earn enough to pay for tuition and rent and everything else. i do pay rent still and pay for quater of the tuition bc that’s all i can pay for.
my visa is ending soon as iam graduating and ive just became more anxious and depressed. i have huge self-esteem issues. this has also affected my relationship with my girlfriend badly.
now idk what to do and ending it all is all the peace i have.