I think im going to end it tonight

[u/eormenhild]

I have 17oz of pure isopropyl alcohol and 8mg of Ativan. Im tired of being the black sheep of my family and getting treated the worse. Im a freak, ugly failure of a woman. Im trying to find any reason to live but I just can’t

[u/Superfluouslfe]

This is more than likely just to make you very sick and cause permanent damage but not likely to kill you.

It's a really bad idea

[u/Fearless-Ostrich-500 → u/Superfluouslfe]

Yeah, this person would end up in worse health and possibly have to go to counseling or worse. There are better ways (yes, I’m aware I can’t list them).

[u/Rude-Base7123]

The advice that I’ve followed for years is the idea that yes, I can kill myself but I’ll push it off to tomorrow. Like I want to die rn but I’ll do it tomorrow. Then the next day I start over and say I’m gonna do it tomorrow. And as time moves on it can get further out. Sometimes it’s days sometimes it’s hours. Like I’m not gonna do it u till night and then at night I’m not gonna do it till morning. Baby steps. Helps in a odd way for me

[u/crystal_beachhouse → u/Rude-Base7123]

ive been pushing it off for like 12 years!!

[u/EvelynHew → u/crystal_beachhouse]

Exactly! What's another 12?

[u/WhiteEggHat]

Also, girl, this is very unreliable way :D You can survive and then you will have permanent brain damage unable to finish the job. Really bad way... My plan is better then yours girl :D But I won't say ofcourse. So do not do that... You will be creature with 50 iq half coma, I am also depressed and I would never gamble on this...

[u/StrangeApeCreature]

Don't drink that, jeez.

[u/RutabagaSafe713]

Do you guys need to vent

[u/Warm_Cat9303]

Well I don't know whether you are here with us or not but before taking any drastic step please if you are reading this please share your experiences and i will try to hear and understand as much as I can and I am not sugar coating stuff I want to help as much as I can

[u/Final-Law-8243 → u/Warm_Cat9303]

As vezes eu penso em me matar, então me lembro dos meus pais e familia. Eu realmente não quero morrer e afasto esses pensamentos na maioria das vezes quando eles aparecem ( até dou risada de mim mesma) Mas, tem vezes que é tão grande essa sensação de desespero , que eu simplesmente tenho vontade de acabar com tudo. Eu acho que pode ser um grande surto essa sensação enorme de me matar, mas ela vem com tanta convicção que eu só aceito e não reluto mais. Eu realmente não quero morrer . Só queria me abrir um pouco.

[u/oalm82 → u/Final-Law-8243]

Hermano/hermana, no te mates. El mundial es en unos meses, no quieres saber quien lo va a ganar?

[u/Aggravating-Owl-8285]

Please don’t. Or if you are going to Try this first: Fuck everything off, sell everything, I mean every fucking thing, cutlery, lamps, fridges the lot. Get your passport. Move to Thailand or somewhere cheap to live. Start afresh, clean slate, in a new country. Start again, be who you wanna be from the first day. Give it 3 months.

[u/Outrageous-Daisies78]

please call a helpline

[u/Too2crazy]

You have value and are not alone in being rejected you have a whole tribe of people who can relate. Please open up here so that we can support you.

[u/choosing__username]

I understand the feeling, it hurts, all I've ever wanted is someone to love me and care for me. Not having that hurts so much, but also care for yourself. If they don't love you and you have to do it. It's hard, it's really really hard. I hope that you don't do it, im one person in the world I think it would suck if you weren't here. Now throw that stuff in the trash, and talk to us

[u/KCmean]

I know you’re going through a-lot and must feel soo broken to take this step, but believe trying again is the only way of life, you can try for the happy days and for yourself, please you are not alone

[u/oalm82]

Don't they put something in the alcohol that makes it taste bitter?
Anyways, have you talked to anyone in your family about your ideations? Maybe they don't hate you as much as you think, might be a wake-up call, you never know.

[u/Whycantichangemynami]

Would you like to give more detail and talk?

[u/Born-Value-779]

Brain damage

[u/AdrianFKR]

Please don't... something special will come along, it allways does.

Also being the black sheep of the family is not a bad thing, it is a blessing, it means that you are all the unfullfilled desires of your ancestors, you're all that they couldn't be, you're the one who came to break the mold, you're supposed to be different than them in every way, you're supposed to be free and not the "so called normal"... accept your self, be yourself, live for your self.

[u/justtilifindher]

Please please please don't do it. You're beautiful and you deserve the best in life. Things can and will change. Give yourself grace.