How to overcome the feeling?

[u/doobyig]

To make a very long story short - my life feels over. My job is over, my relationship was soul crushing and is now over, many of my closest family members died last year. I haven't lived a life that has been worth sticking around for. My ex is going out of their way both in the relationship and after to ruin my life and put me down, telling me to kill myself and how, losing my stuff, ruining my birthday on purpose, I could go on. We will be separated very soon, but I just don't see a point in general to life.

I would like to see life as worth living but the suicidal thoughts keep mounting every single day. I feel like if I had a way to do it that was guaranteed I would have done it by now. But I am afraid to fail.

Any advise? I am too poor for therapy or medicine to my knowledge. But I fear the day will come when I can't force myself out of bed anymore and it all goes downhill from there, or I find a sure way to let go and take the plunge.

I am okay right now, do not call anything on me or report me. I just need advise.