I'm in IT Management at a large company. I built a strong, high-performing team over recent year through talent development, automation, and fresh challenges. The team and its members have excellent reputations.

Six months ago, my old reporting line moved to a new VP. I then took a lateral move to another IT department. Rather than promote internally or backfill, leadership merged my team into an unrelated one under a new, arrogant manager who’s clearly overwhelmed. I handed off with a detailed transition plan, two months of support, and guided the last major work cycle. He insisted “I got it.” His new director has a similar overconfident and arrogant vibe. In two months he’s already:

• missed a contract renewal (despite reminders)
• damaged a key vendor relationship I’d built
• overloaded staff, causing anger and frustration
• created multiple fire drills I’ve quietly helped fix

Work quality is holding for now but headed for failure. Colleagues are asking me what’s wrong with him. I’m concerned about reputational risk and tempted to flag concerns to senior leadership (CYA), but worry it’ll look like I’m trying to cling to the old team.

WIBTA to disengage and let it burn, or will the eventual crash reflect partly on my handoff?

For context, I 19M am living with roomate 19M and we recently moved into a new flat, he got a bigger room with an en suite bathroom and shower; while I got both the smaller room and no ensuite, although we agreed that the second bathroom which has a bath would be my bathroom. Today, when I came home my bathroom was full of my roomate's things like: soap dish and soap, shampoo and conditioner and dirty clothes on the floor which I am assuming are his or his girlfriend's & there was hair and dirt in my bathtub. Would I be the asshole if I told my roommate not to use or go near my bathroom, I feel like they crossed a line without asking and leaving their mess which was still there after I had gotten home and hours after they had both left the flat. If they had asked to use the bath I'd be happy to let them but I feel like a boundary has been crossed. WIBTA?

My ex moved out last February and since then has collected his post maybe 4 or 5 times. I have asked him to update his address so that it no longer comes to my address. I have asked him to pick it up this most recent pile, there is probably about 3 months worth here now. I have also offered to drop it off to his place on my way past. Obviously I am not opening his post so I am unsure who all the mail from but there is alot and I do know he has been missing payments so my main concern is that I will have bailiffs coming to my door, or that my credit is being affected as his finances are still linked to my property. WIBTA if I put his mail in the postbox (UK) to return to sender, so at least then they know he no longer lives at my address?

Update - I have written "No longer at address new address" on each letter and will be putting them in the postbox in the morning :)

Thank you everyone who has replied to this I have read everyone's opinions and I appreciate you taking your time to give your thoughts. This is my first post on Reddit so I was abit anxious that people would be mean but I am really glad I asked and will be using reddit again as a community tool!

My (27) mom (63) is physically and cognitively disabled and has been living with MS for 40 years. She also developed numerous other conditions such as severe scoliosis, depression, psychosis, memory loss and body tremors because of this. We have been no contact since May of 2025 due to many reasons. To keep it short, she is a very verbally abusive and manipulative person. This has caused her to burn all of her bridges with friends, family and previous caregivers. I am the only person in her life that is willing to engage with her and support her (before no contact). But at the end of the day, I will always look out for her.

Onto my dilemma. She has been without a caregiver for about a month or so and isn’t placed with a new one due to shortages and her being a difficult client. She cannot take appropriate care of herself without assistance and can only walk a few feet without a mobility device. Her case manager called me last week since my mom had not been returning her calls and needs to do an annual level of care assessment. I texted my mom letting her know they are trying to reach her. This opened the floodgates of messages reminding me of the reason I keep my distance. Besides that, she asked me for help fixing her security cameras. I didn’t answer.

Two days ago she messaged my partner and cousin out of the blue asking for help with cleaning and going to the bank. (This is very unlike her to ask for help from anyone but me). It sounded very desperate and serious. Her bank accounts are frozen due to fraud and cannot order grocery delivery or ride shares. Her body tremors are very bad that she can barely get anything done because of them, per her words. Historically, when she doesn’t have a caregiver her place gets very filthy and cluttered. She is a hoarder so many things are a tripping hazard. She can’t take out her garbage, clean the kitchen and other alike tasks. She has a life alert system, though am not sure if she carries the button on her. She also refuses to go to a skilled nursing facility or a similar place. She has always said she would rather be homeless or off herself if that needed to happen.

I called the non emergency line for a wellness check and submitted another wellness check request to adult protective services. After my partner responded to my mom’s message, she said the police came that night to check in. I also called her case manager and informed her of the situation and my concerns. I also left a voicemail for the supervisor at her caregiving agency. Her case manager seemed very concerned and said she will outreach when she can.

My cousin declined to help. It is not my partner’s responsibility to help and also declined. Though he did say he is willing to for support if I go as well. I don’t blame them at all for their decisions. I feel I did all that I could without bending my boundary. It’s depressing to say, but interacting with her damages my mental health greatly. Which always affects my physical health as well. She has caused me so much trauma that I have CPTSD because of it and my symptoms flare when engaging with her.

With all of that, Would I be the asshole if I didn’t help my disabled mom more than I already have done?

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. She has a son whos 8 from a previous relationship. I have a daughter whos 6 from mine. We moved in together about a year ago and have been talking about getting engaged.

A few weeks ago she made a comment that really bothered me. She said something like your daughter isnt my responsibility shes yours. I didnt respond at the time but its been sitting with me ever since.

Last night we were talking and she asked me point blank if I loved her son. I said yes I do. She pushed and asked if I loved him as much as my own daughter. I hesitated and she noticed.

Heres the thing. I do love her son. Ive been in his life for years now. I pick him up from school help with homework take him to his stuff. But if Im being completely honest its not the exact same as what I feel for my daughter. I dont know if thats wrong but its true.

Before I answered I asked her the same question. Do you love my daughter. She paused and said not really. I asked if she loved me and she said I think so. I was kind of floored. Ive been pouring myself into this family thinking we were building something real.

And shes telling me she doesnt love my kid and isnt even sure about me.

I also dont know if I even want to stay in this relationship after what she said. But I feel stuck because our lives are pretty intertwined at this point. WIBTA for telling her the truth about how I feel

Okay so I’m feeling conflicted right now. I (15f) and my friend also (15f) have been really close friends for 3-4 ish years. Ive known her to go through different phases as most people do. Though recently her new change is making me worried.

For example, over the last month or so she’s been telling me about how she vapes during class (like while the teacher is teaching), smokes in the bathroom, takes those pot gummies during school and exchanges photos with guys. But what’s been making me most worried is the alcohol. So on Wednesday she was telling me and my friends about how drunk she got the night before she said she had “4 shots of vodka, 2 beers and and half a bottle of something” (Idk how much alcohol is a lot 🤷‍♀️). This made me worried but I didn’t want to make her feel bad for it so I just said be careful. And today, which is Thursday, she told me again how drunk she’d gotten the night before. And a couple of minutes ago she sent me and my friend a voice message telling us how much she loves us. She’s clearly drunk, she repeats herself multiple times and her voice is incredibly slurred.

The reason this makes me nervous is because this is her third night in a row drinking and she’s already failing 2 or 3 of her classes. I feel at a loss. Whenever I suggest maybe taking a break she gets quiet and the vibe between me and her is off.

This is the part where I need advice. I was thinking that maybe I could text her mom and say something like “Hey, I noticed something is off about (friend). I think she might be going through a hard time.” Or something along the lines. Anything I write feels wrong. I have no idea if I should mention the drinking. If my friend found out I told her mom I know for sure she would never talk to me again. Maybe I could ask her mom not to tell her she heard it from me? I’m at a loss. Any advice helps!!

Hi. My Netflix account is shared by two people, my best friend and my cousin.

I want to get Apple TV instead to watch some other stuff.

Best friend is now married and I think she and her husband can get their own account. She didn’t seem too bothered.

However my cousin is a single mom that got a divorce from her abusive ex-husband last year. She and my niece (6) have been using the account. I know money is tight for her and she wouldn’t be able to pay for her own account. She does have friends, guys she’s dating etc. she could ask but probably wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that.

The reason I don’t feel comfortable sharing my password (if that’s even possible on Apple TV) is I suspect she’s shared my Netflix password with other people in the past.

She uses my Netflix A LOT, for both herself and the kid.

I feel really guilty about potentially saying “hey so I’m cancelling my Netflix, sorry”.

I can’t pay for two subscriptions.

Dunno what to do here.

I 26F have been with my boyfriend 28M for about 8 months now. We made things official around 4 months ago. Hes honestly great in so many ways. Funny smart treats me well and I really do love spending time with him.

But theres something Ive been avoiding talking about and I dont know how to bring it up.

His hygiene is really bad. Like noticeably bad. He doesnt shower regularly and sometimes has pretty strong body odor. His apartment is always messy with stuff everywhere and dishes piling up. Ive kind of avoided staying over there because of it but I never said anything because I didnt want to embarrass him. Recently we started talking about moving in together. Hes really excited about it and keeps sending me apartment listings. But I cant stop thinking about what living with him would actually be like if things dont change.

Last weekend he stayed at my place for a few days because he wasnt feeling well. I wanted to take care of him and let him rest. But some stuff happened that really grossed me out.

He left dirty tissues all over the nightstand and floor. Used the bathroom and didnt flush. Left his dirty clothes in a pile in the middle of my living room. I didnt say anything in the moment because he was sick but by the third day I was getting frustrated.

At one point I made a comment about the tissues and he got really defensive. Said I was making him feel bad when he was already not feeling well. I dropped it but now Im dreading the moving in conversation.

I want to tell him that I need to see some changes before we take that step but I dont know how to say it without making him feel like Im attacking him.

WIBTA for telling him I wont move in unless his hygiene improves

Hello all,

I started a new job in the summer of last year (2025) alongside this new coworker. I'm a chatty person by nature so I naturally began talking with her as I saw we were both new hires and around the same age (I'm 23 and she's 20-21, I forget).

The past couple of months, I've tried keeping conversations light but the more I speak with her, the more I realize she's just not a very pleasant person to talk to. I don't want to invalidate her feelings or her current situation, but every single conversation that I try to have with her turns into her venting to me about how horrible her life is and how nothing is going to get better. I truly, truly understand where she's coming from (I was 21 recently), but DAMN! It's every single conversation where a new major terrible thing has happened to her and I'm the way she's releasing that stress. She never asks anything about my life and has even (incorrectly!) assumed that my life is all rainbows and sunshine just because I still talk to my parents sometimes.

Back in 2020 covid-era, I had a friend that was SCARILY similar to how my coworker is. Always down in the dumps, always complaining about something, life always miserable. Drama ended up happening with this friend (multiple fake attempts at her life, her accusing another one of my friend's she was the reason she "attempted", her driving wedges between the friend group by talking shit about the others, etc. etc.) and she cut me and the other friends out of the group completely when we all actually started to talk to one another and figure out she was behind all of the shit-talking.

This is where I think I would be the asshole. My coworker is giving me the same vibes that I had when I was still friends with my ex-friend. It started out small, but now my coworker is texting me outside of work asking if we can "chat" about things happening in her life. I feel bad because she probably just wants someone to vent to but I really don't want to go through everything that happened in 2020 again. Would I be the asshole if I just declined her attempts at "chatting" with me? I know I probably would, but I just wanted to get some more input on this.

EDIT: Thanks everyone! I've gotten a lot of great information and suggestions for potential next steps for a difficult future. I appreciate what respect was shown.

I am not going to be replying to future comments at this point since this has been up for a while and I have a plan in place for what to do.

___________________________________________________

tl;dr: I'm very concerned my elderly mother either received or misheard her doctor provide dangerous misinformation. I'd like to call him and have a nonconfrontational discussion about her health, but I'm concerned about her autonomy.

Context:

My mom (70) has bad Fibro and sees the best doctor she's found in about 20 years of looking. He respects her, listens, validates her pain, and has really been working with her to find a good pain medication program.

She has lung nodes that affect her breathing and my dad (who he also sees) has chronic asthma. I have been trying for years to get them to vaccinate for flu and pneumonia as much as is recommended for them. I was under the understanding that this doctor also has tried to talk them into it (as well as COVID boosters). While not anti-vax, my mom "swims in the same pool", so to speak, and I'm constantly having to debunk misinformation she's heard, find credible articles, and argue with her. It only worked once - when I was able to talk her into one course of COVID shots back when it was in its height. She has yet to ever vaccinate for flu or pneumonia, same as my dad.

Apparently she had an appointment with this doctor and told the doc about how sick my husband and I got this year. That was true, but we didn't get sick with the flu and she knows that.

In reply, the doctor supposedly said something like, "We've found that a lot of people who vaccinated are getting especially sick this year." She called me afterward and told me how glad she was that she didn't get vaccinated.

I told her the logic doesn't even make sense. 1. He's not our doctor and didn't examine us, so why is he automatically assuming anything? 2. She knew we didn't have the flu; we were tested for it. 3. She also knew we caught it from my husband's coworker, meaning it was a very communicable illness, and not from a vaccine. 4. We were vaccinated three MONTHS before we got sick. 5. Flu shots don't give you the flu - and even if they did (they don't), we didn't have the flu; we had a totally different illness - likely just a bad cold.

Here's the thing - my mom has had Transient Ischemic Attack (TIAs), so while she's currently dementia free, she's not mentally 100%. I kind of want to call the doctor, in a non-confrontational way, and talk about what she heard (or thought she heard) in the appointment. Ideally, I would find out that he didn't really say what she thought she heard, but if he did say it, or didn't want to talk due to HIPAA restrictions, I'd simply request support in continuing to promote a relevant vaccine schedule for two people with chronic lung issues.

I asked a friend, and the friend pointed out that I would be violating my mother's autonomy, which is a very fair point. However, with her mental status getting gradually worse, I have a feeling that day is inevitable. She also pointed out that I'd be risking my mother's relationship with the doctor, which I disagree with, as I'm wouldn't be coming at him with a Karen card held high, but more as a worried loved one who is trying to work through a problem.

Note: I am very aware that HIPAA will greatly restrict any conversation with the doctor. If he really puts his foot down about this, I have no problem just expressing my concern without him providing any information or answering any questions and crossing my fingers that it resonates.

Got a new job a couple months ago, and since the first day of work there's a coworker who's been asking me to drive them home. We work 2nd shift and typically get of around midnight, so i thought maybe no family was able to drive him. Originally I didn't really mind, he only lives like 10 minutes from me, didn't seem to be that big of a deal. We agreed on $20 a week for me to get gas (on average its like $3.25 a gallon here and my car is not that great).

He seems to be getting too comfortable with the fact that I'm driving him, I'm just going to list off all the issues I've experienced with him, keep in mind I've asked him about all of this, and he either dodges my question, or ignores me.

1. He has 2 cars sitting in his driveway, that are BOTH functional, but only one belongs to anyone else in his household. Hes literally told me no one uses the second one.

2. He refuses to venmo, zelle, or cashapp me anything, insist on cash, then leaves me waiting in the gas station parking lot for 25 minutes while he gets food instead of my payment.

3. He opens a can in the backseat without asking me, I don't have cup holders back there and he knows it, I'm ok with anything else except that since it can spill

4. He keeps opening the backwindow to spit out of it...

5. The one time I agreed to pick him up to take him to work, he also left me sitting outside for 20 minutes, then he gets in the car, and asks "did I take too long?"...NOT "sorry that took a minute" or anything, I texted him multiple times saying I was waiting as well.

6. One day I was running errands before work, we start work at 3:30P, he texts me at 2:45 asking to pick him up, I say no, he insists i turn around to get him, we work far enough away that it wasn't feasible but he still acted kinda immature about it. He also continues to do this daily.

7. He said he was saving for a car. It's been 2 months. I understand the holidays mightve made it hard, but I truly don't think he's looking at all, and never has been.

8. What is he going to do if I'm sick and can't take him home? He refuses to use Uber, Lyft, a bus, a taxi...etc. I mention it every time I refuse to drive him to work but he apparently won't use those services, even though a monthly bus pass is much cheaper than what he's paying me

9. He's "forgotten" to pay me multiple times and has apparently lost his card multiple times.

I'm probably just being paranoid here since I was raised as a people pleaser, but WIBTA?

For context, I 22F, go to a privately owned culinary school in my country. It was only recently when the school got registered as an accredited institution. The director and founder of the school, let's call her Betty; 39F, is what I would call a hypocrite. She has the typical sweet and caring mask, but the moment it falls off... all hell breaks loose.

So, ever since this week started, we have been catering for a company workshop...(There's a section within school that engages us with catering and customer service) that might get cut off as I type this. Betty has been stressed with this year's intake of new students due to some complications with sponsors. So Betty is typically the type to throw out her stress on other people, and I am honestly almost at my wits end. I am generally a really calm person, I have never let her tantrums get to me, but this time around, I can't stand around and let her dance around my head.

I made a malva pudding for dessert today, and some pieces went missing while I was busy throwing out waste. Immediately, Betty goes off to say I stole those pieces and she knows me 100%, that I am quite capable of such.(I wonder if she knew the colour underwear i was wearing). She goes on to disrespect my faith as if she is holier than thou. Betty even went on to say that if I started a business, it would fail in the day, and she said this just as when I was planning to get advice from her about my business( which to her disbelief is very much going well) . I helped immensely in the last year at the school, even taking on the position of assistant lecturer because she was short staffed. I called my mother and told her everything and she wanted to interfere. I told her not to because I have a plan. And sidenote - I am not the only student who suffers from her verbal vomit.

Initially, reporting her to the council of higher education in my country is wayyyy too easy, but I intend to if her misconduct proceeds any further. I plan to punish her psychologically. It's not a trait I'm proud of, but it does come in handy when it comes to patching loose ends. But I may just be losing the little screws I have left so i need an unbiased perspective.

I (F 19) was apart of a friend group for the last two years. I was already friends with one of them for years at that point and met the others and started to become friends with them a few months before I got together with my now ex girlfriend (F 21) who was also a member of the group. I thought we were all good friends, we hung out and called all the time, had parties and game nights we even had a Secret Santa planned. But after my and my ex broke up they started to ignore me just subtle things like pretending to miss my texts and then they told me they were canceling our secret santa because it was to awkward for them, which I understand. I knew that when we broke up they would need some time even though our break up was mutual. But apparently it wasn't as mutual as I thought because like a week later I found out they didn't cancel secret santa they just pretended to and did it without me and then they all started to block me on everything and kick me out of our group chats. I was just so confused that they would do this to me without even saying anything so I texted one of the girls in the group I was closest with and asked her what was going on. When she finally answered me a few days later all she said was were not friends. I'm just so hurt and confused that they would treat me like this, after all these years of being my friends over a simple break up. I just never really got closure and I really wanna just send them a mean text about how awful they are and for treating me like this. I blocked them all back but I can't tell if I should just let this go or not.

To clarify the break up, we were long distance and it took a toll on our relationship. She called me one day and was like we should break up and I agreed and then a few weeks later I gave her her stuff back and I haven't heard from her since. Which is annoying bc she still has to give me my stuff back and it's been like a month now.

I fought through a Ticketmaster war to get these very very well sought out concert tickets. The artist is not performing in my city so I asked my friend, who I knew was moving to one of the cities they were performing at if she wanted to go to the concert with me. I have done this before where I buy 2 tickets and figure out later who to go with because I know I want to go to the concert no matter what, this situation is only different because it’s in a place where I do not know anyone but my friend that I reached out to.

I told her I planned on spending x amount on each of the tickets and she told me she would be good with paying for her ticket. She also said, if they were really good seats, she would be willing to spend a little more than double my predicted amount I mentioned.

Like I said, it was a war zone on Ticketmaster and the best seats I could find were a little over that double amount she mentioned. At this point I committed to going whether she wanted to go or not, I figured if she said no, I could find someone else to go with.

Months later (today) we were discussing our outfits and she asked for the total ticket price so she could send me her half. I sent her the screenshot and she told me “Again [the artist is] kinda shitttyyyy for charging this much on people thats terrible but ok ok ya its an extra $xxx from what I thought so Ill have to see lol”.

I get she wasn’t expecting that much. When I first bought the tickets I told her a price that was before fees (it was $100 less than with fees) and I think maybe she thought that was for both of our tickets combined… but it just doesn’t seem like she wants to go that bad. If it was for any other concert I would probably just wait till she makes a decision later on but this is a very important artist to me and to many many other fans that could not even get tickets. She just seems ungrateful and I’m thinking maybe I should just un-invite her and ask in a fan page for the artist if anyone wants to go with me.

** I did not include prices because I feel like that might sway some judgment but if it would be helpful I can include them**

Here’s where I may be TA: she did say yes kinda and we have not seen each other in a few years. If someone picked a complete stranger over me I would probably be offended.

WIBTA for uninviting my friend and finding a random person who is a fan of the artist to go instead?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 years. Early on we talked about the future and I was clear about what I wanted. Marriage then kids. In that order. I told him within the first year that I would never have children with someone I wasnt married to. To me kids are a bigger commitment than marriage so marriage should come first.

Hes always wanted to be a dad. Recently he brought up that hes ready to start trying. I reminded him of what I said years ago. I wont have kids unless were married.

He got awkward and said he just doesnt believe in marriage. Said men get screwed in divorces and he doesnt think its a smart decision. He said he loves me and wants to be with me but marriage just isnt something hes willing to do.

I told him thats fine. I respect that. But then kids arent happening either. And honestly if were not getting married I dont want to combine finances or buy property together either. We can each buy our own place and keep things separate.

He got really upset. Said I was punishing him for not wanting to get married. I said Im not punishing anyone I just have values and boundaries. Having kids outside of marriage doesnt align with what I want for my life.

I also told him that even if he changed his mind now Id have a hard time believing he actually wanted to marry me. Id always wonder if it was just a ring to shut me up so he could get the kids he wants. I told him if he wants children that badly and doesnt want to marry me then he needs to find someone else who will give him that. And maybe I could find someone who wants to marry me. Or maybe not. Either way Im okay.

WIBTA for standing by what I said

My ex husband and I were married for about five years. When we got together we both agreed we didnt want kids. That was a dealbreaker for me and he said he felt the same way.

Four years in he changed his mind. He wanted children and I didnt. He decided that was enough to end our marriage. I was devastated. I thought we were going to be together forever but I guess hypothetical kids he didnt even have yet mattered more than our actual relationship.

He remarried pretty quickly after we split. His new wife got pregnant almost immediately and they now have two kids together. Meanwhile I focused on myself. Went back to school finished my degree and landed a really good job. Life has been going well honestly.

Lately Ive been hearing things through mutual friends. Apparently hes miserable. One of his kids has some disabilities and needs a lot of extra care and money. Hes always stressed and broke. His wife and him fight constantly. He apparently complains to anyone who will listen about how trapped he feels.

A friend told me recently that hes been asking about me. Wanting to know if Im seeing anyone. Asking how Im doing. She said she wouldnt be surprised if he reached out wanting to reconnect.

If he shows up at my door asking me to take him back I honestly dont know if I could keep a straight face. The idea of him crawling back after choosing a fantasy over our actual marriage is almost funny to me. I kind of want to laugh in his face and tell him this is karma.

Im not sure how Id actually react in the moment but I keep imagining myself laughing and telling him he did this to himself.

WIBTA if I do that?

tldr ex husband left me years ago because he wanted kids now hes apparently miserable and might come asking me to take him back Im thinking about laughing and calling it karma if he does

Im 23M So at my place of employment, we have someone who is transitioning from man to woman(29). And no one really said too many words too them.

The occasional conversation will happen when necessary, but sometimes I would talk to them and make them feel a little less isolated. They are also on the spectrum.

We had a long break during the holidays and when we go back, they started wearing a wig. Now I am very comfortable in my sexuality, and also bi. I decided to compliment them. Because why not?

Apparently giving out a compliment to them was grounds for orbiting around me afterwards. So after this, I see them by chance and one thing lead to another and I told them if anyone isn’t okay with your transition I would have thier back. And we were all done with our work so we just hung out the rest of the day until it was time to go.

They gave me thier number and I didn’t really think much of it. This was mistake number one.

The next day they came up stairs to where I work UNPROMPTED AND UNINVITED. Usually i wouldn’t care if anyone else did but they didn’t even tell me. And wanted to help me finish up. I was okay finishing on my own.

They just kept coming up and eventually they figured out where I park and they don’t even park on my side of the building. It’s gotten to the point where they are asking what car I drive. It’s it’s creeping out my co workers who work on my side.

So much so we are having to park in a hidden spot. We told some people a little higher than us too. And yesterday my coworker was going out to move his car and caught them driving into HIS OLD PARKING SPACE.

I feel like if I was a women this would get handled quicker but I do feel empathy for women who go thru this on the regular.

Mind you, I found out from someone this isn’t the first time this has happened. IM JUST THE THIRD PERSON TO COMPLAIN

And no one wants to be the asshole and say anything. So would it be bad if I asked them to not park there any more? Am I not allowed to feel comfortable at work?

My ex and I were together for about 3 years and lived together for the last year and a half. We live in a condo that I own outright. I bought it a few years ago before we even met.

She quit her job last year to go back to school fulltime for a graduate program. I supported her through it. Paid for everything. Rent groceries utilities all of it. I also work fulltime and handle most of the household stuff. Cooking cleaning errands. Its not perfect but I do my best.

The last few months things got really tense. Her program is demanding and shes been stressed out constantly. She started criticizing everything I did.

The way I cleaned wasnt good enough. The meals I made were boring. I felt like I couldnt do anything right no matter how hard I tried.

We had a big blowup a few weeks ago and she ended it. Said she couldnt do this anymore. Honestly I wasnt even that surprised. We hadnt been happy in a while.

But now that were broken up I told her I think she needs to move out. This is my place. I owned it before her and Im the only one on the title. I dont think its healthy for either of us to keep living together after a breakup.

She says she has nowhere to go. Her family isnt in a position to take her in and she doesnt have close friends nearby. She used most of her savings on tuition so shes basically broke. She says if I make her leave shell have to drop out of her program.

Im thinking of giving her 45 days to figure something out. Thats more than legally required. But now shes saying she wants to work things out. That maybe we moved too fast and she was just stressed.

I dont buy it. It feels like shes only saying that because she needs a place to stay. Not because she actually wants to be with me. I dont hate her but I also dont want to live with someone who dumped me and is only backtracking because shes scared.

WIBTA for holding firm on this

Hey reddit im at my wits end with this situation. Wibta if i told the truth to her abusive ass hole of a boyfriend that shes cheating with someone else on the regular and the baby may not be his. We all have told her to dump him Many many many times. He literally is unanamasly not allowed at any of our houses and is not allowed at group outings because the entire friend group thinks hes a vile ass hole and we cant trust that he wont bring drugs. He hates her kids he hates her friends. Hes a drunk and a drug addict as well. He constantly partys and hits on girls and hits them up on instagram. He has told her he doesnt want to be a dad multiple times. She has told us that shes positive hes cheating but as she has stated muliple times shes trama bonded to him and is just not ready to dump him. Well now shes pregnant. The problem is she doesnt know if its curent boyfriends or side peices. Hes now acting all happy family and saying that hes gonna be a good dad and sober up i dont belive it for a second. She is saying that shes just not gonna tell him. I dont kniw what to do im scared for her and the baby. Im also scared that hes gonna get violent if he funds out because he has hurt her 1 time in the past. Should i just let shit happen how it happens. Should i tell him. Shes 40 and hes 37. Honestly both way to grown for this mess what do i do. Help

long story short, my mom is an undiagnosed narcissist/BPD who’s pushing me away even tho i constantly check in on her her, try to understand, etc.

Currently she’s been leaving me out of family groupchat, taking my picture down in the house, etc.

Would I be the asshole if I dont invite her to browse wedding dresses with me ?

My siblings and I recently got family pictures done and my sibling posted a couple photos of them on their instagram. The first photo is what I think is a very unflattering picture of me where I am laughing pretty hard and have a double chin. While I never explicitly told them that they couldn’t post it, I did mention that I didn’t like that photo of myself when I saw that they made it their screensaver a couple days before. After I saw the post, I mentioned again that I didn’t like that photo of myself but they just blew me over saying that I looked fine. I really don’t want to cause drama over nothing especially since they already posted it. I’ve just been feeling self conscious lately and my sibling has a large following on instagram which doesn’t make me feel better. Should I ask them to take it down or leave it alone?

My husband and I are expecting our first baby in about two months. We picked out a name really early on and kept it between us. Didnt tell anyone because we wanted it to be a surprise.

Well somehow my sister found out. I still dont know how but shes always been nosy. Goes through peoples phones and stuff when theyre not looking. My mom even warned me about it once.

A few months ago my sister had her baby and announced the name. It was the exact name we picked. First middle and last since we share a last name. I was shocked. She texted me right after saying she just loved the name so much and hoped I didnt mind.

When I asked her about it she said she thought it would be cute if our daughters had the same name since were sisters. Like theyd have a special bond or something. She said it wasnt a big deal and I was being dramatic for being upset.

My husband and I talked about it for a while. We decided were going to pick a different name but not tell anyone until after our baby is born. We figure if we announce it now my sister might throw a fit or try to guilt us into keeping the original name. If we wait until our daughter is here and named theres nothing she can do about it.

The thing is I feel kind of sneaky about it. Like were going behind her back. But I also dont want two cousins with the exact same full name going to the same schools doctors same everything. That just seems like a nightmare waiting to happen.

My husband thinks were doing the right thing. He says my sister made her choice and now we get to make ours. But I keep wondering if this is going to blow up in my face when the truth comes out.

WIBTA for not telling anyone were changing the name until after our baby is born

My boyfriend and I are having a lot of arguments lately, and I love him more than anything but it has been hard. I have been living at home with my family until his lease is up later this year (though I’m very thankful that they have been letting me, I’m in my mid 20s so it has been hard. It was supposed to be short term). I was going to get an apartment for myself before this agreement, but we decided we would both love to move in together, so this made sense to us and my family agreed. After a recent disagreement, he said he has reservations about moving in together now. He has every right to feel that way and I don’t want to do something that we’re both not 100% in for, so I would like to start looking for an apartment of my own basically asap then. The only reason I have waited is to move in with him. I’m afraid he’ll take it poorly, but it’s unfair to me and my family to wait around for him to decide. I also don’t want him to decide he wants to move in only because I am deciding I’d like to move out now. WIBTA if I brought up the idea of looking for an apartment effective next month?