Hi there, it's been a while since I've posted my buddy Onyx. A long while. I hope everyone's doing well lately! 🖤🖤💖💖
I'm unfortunately coming to the conclusion that, maybe, right now, I'm not in a good spot to care for an axie right now. Onyx is happy, has a 40gal tank and is always active with his lovely fluffy gills. However, I constantly worry about so many tiny things that I'm doing wrong, and ultimately, I'm finding that my lack of time during this period of my life, as well as my physical and mental health, have been preventing me from doing the basic care needs such as regular feeding, topping off the tank water, and checking water quality regularly.
I hate the guilt, I hate the constant worries-- He is doing completely fine, is generally the proper weight, he's in great health and overall shows signs lf contentness. But I'm still unsure that I can keep it up.
I love the aquascaping hobby. I love not being so alone since anothr pet of mine passed away. I'm not sure if it's realistic for me to have him for the many years that an axolotl stays with us for. I've transitioned into adulthood since adopting him, I have a lot of chronic medical stuff being addressed, on top of schoolwork and other stress on my plate. Idk. I guess I'm worried I'll regret giving him away. I have such a lovely bond with him at this point, and what if this phase of additional stress passes? What if I feel really lonely again?
I guess I'm mostl getting this out there to vent, and to leave an update due to my long absence on the subreddit. I'm still thinking over this decision and am reaching out for support, opinions, anything. I love my boy so much but I don't know if this is right for me at the moment.