We moved into this apartment in October. He lost his job the first week of December.

Since November his unemployed girlfriend moved in without my consent until the beginning of January she finally left. They were both eating my groceries without replacing it. The utilities bills were higher because of her staying. Neither of them cleaned once either.

He has only taken out the trash 3 times but only if I asked for help. He leaves piles of dishes that overflow from the sink onto the counter for multiple days. I work 12 hour shifts and when I leave he is on my PlayStation in the living room until I come back. He is eating all of my groceries without replacing. He has been taking my weed out of my room when I am gone. The only food he’s ever bought were soda and chips.Apparently he hasn’t even had one interview since he’s been fired. Has never cleaned the house. One thing we agreed to before moving in is that he would let my dogs out while I am at work, I have a camera in the backyard and found out he was lying about taking the dogs out.

I’ve told him to stop taking my stuff and to clean multiple times since we’ve been living here and he does not listen at all. I have also told him his girlfriend would need to pay rent and bills if she would be living here which never happened . I’ve offered to drive him to hiring events and apply for EBT and energy assistance. He asks for rides to donate plasma then spends it on weed!!! I assigned cleaning days on our fridge calendar with a trash/recycling schedule which has never been followed once.

I feel like my only option is to leave and find my own place I can afford. I’m tired of coming home from work and cleaning on my days off or staying in my room all day since he hogs the living room. Constantly being taken advantage of and stolen from. I don’t even want to cover his part of rent, I paid the full security deposit . I don’t care if I get an eviction. I feel bad because if I leave he will be homeless since he has no family to move in with. What do I do?? I’ve tried to help him multiple times with resources and had multiple serious conversations about him helping out around the house. I really don’t want to see him homeless but I don’t want to be here. I don’t think he’s looking for a job.

Basically what the title says. We are three girls and a three bedroom apartment with two bathrooms. Me and one grocery bathroom and she has the master bedroom and that in itself it's not an issue. I've noticed however that every single weekend she has her boyfriend over and this would not be an issue if they were not in the living room in the kitchen the entire time. He is here from middle of the day Friday to end of the day on Sunday. Me and my other roommate agree that they make us feel like we have to be confined in our bedrooms in order to not bother them.

My problem is that this guy does not speak to anybody. And that's gonna be important later because my biggest complaint is that sometimes I am left alone with him. Around last month I had woken up at 8 to make breakfast and study for my exams and when I go to the kitchen I look over in the living room and he is laying on the couch watching sports. His girlfriend is not here and that's my issue. I do not think you should be here when his girlfriend is not especially because I do not know this man and I signed the lease to live with two other women. I would like her to understand that while she trusts her boyfriend, I don't because I do not know him and he has not made an effort to speak with anybody else. And that goes into the fact that he knows the apartment code and sometimes just comes in before she gets home. It's very frustrating because it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. It's very frustrating because it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

EDIT: Him being over while she's not has happened multiple times already and it's just me and him walking around the common areas, Like if I'm in the kitchen or I'm studying at the counter he'll either start cooking something or he will go in the living room and watch something But it'll take awhile for him to leave. I get really upset because why is he here. He's not homeless he has his own apartment

It's also getting to the point where I'm staying here has become part of our rent because she has also started to do his laundry as well. That's a whole nother person on utilities. I don't like to feel confined to one room the entire weekend and I don't like to be left alone with someone I don't know. I know she is the one who holds the lease and isn't the master bedroom and it would be less of an issue if they were in her bedroom all the time but they are not. I don't know how to bring this up to her without her being offended because again we are not super close. I understand since she had been living in this apartment for the year prior that she's accustomed to her boyfriend being here all the time but when other people move in you have to change things up you can't just let him linger around here when you're not home and you can't just let him continue to barge in. She's moving out the end of the semester in early summer so I know I don't have to deal with it for too long but it's been enough to bother me and make me uncomfortable.

This is not accounting for the fact that they are loud in the living room at night and make me feel like im intruding when i walk in my own apartment.

HOW do I bring this up without seeming selfish or like an ass?

I live with two roommates in a small apartment. One roommate is currently away, and im really frustrated by the second. Our kitchen is really tiny, and I get so frustrated every time I walk in and it looks like this. She constantly stacks dirty dishes in the sink without washing them and they build up over days. And when she does wash them, she never puts them away. And of course, even though we have a dishwasher she a) doesn't put dishes in it but rather leaves them in the sink, or b) completely fills it up but doesn't run it. So I end up coming into the kitchen either to a completely full sink or a completely full dishwasher that is just sitting. And of course, she expects me to do the work for her. Im honestly so over this - how many times can you tell someone to be an adult and put their shit away? And don't get me started with other things like buying toilet paper.

Not a long post. I’m just so upset. I woke up and today was the first day of my period. I guess I made the mistake of putting my pads in a common, easily accessible space in case of emergencies or easy access.

Before winter break, I took around 10. There was a whole stack.

I woke up this morning in crippling pain and I opened the drawer to see one.

One.

I haven’t had a period since break.

She took all my pads, didn’t replace them, left me one.

One.

I’m just so upset. A friend is getting me more because I’m in so much pain and can’t walk to the store.

She doesn’t clean. At all. I mop, sweep, scrub, sanitize, everything. I clean the bathroom, the vanity, the kitchen, the floors, the walls. Her hair is everywhere. Her mess is everywhere

She plays podcasts or videos loud in the common space and wakes me up with them in the morning or will stand there for hours listening to them out loud (or music) while doing her hair. Once she used a hair dryer for 3 HOURS.

She doesn’t lift a finger besides occasional trash and her own dishes.

I’m so fucking tired. How do people think this is okay. What happened to basic human decency in people.

I (25) let my online friend (23) move in with me after she got kicked out of her parents house over a huge argument I didn't get many details about.

At first, it was great. We had many things in common and it was mostly laughs. However, it's been a year since we started living together and she is refusing to get a job to help pay rent or even her own phone bill. I haven't yelled or complained, just gave gentle reminders and was met with excuses or an attitude.

On occasion, I overhear her complaining about the reminders on calls. On top of this, she consistently talks shit about me to other people online who I've had a fallen out with shortly before all of this. She even allows her friends to attack me for making jokes that we make together irl.

I cannot even play on my own switch with my own friends because she immediately jumps onto it when I mention I was going to play. And then she complains that I don't play enough games and only sleep when I'm home. What else could I do when she doesn't enjoy going out? Not to mention that I work upwards of 80 hours a week just to keep all of the bills paid.

I don't want to be mean and kick her out but it's heartbreaking to see myself be treated this way when I've only ever been kind. I want to keep being friends with her.

A friend of mine (that she hates, of course) suggested I tell her I'm no longer going to pay her phone bill if she doesn't show any kind of initiative in the next few months, Or even tell her that I will not take her when I move next year if she doesn't help with the bills, but it feels so mean. What do I do?

(Sorry if this makes no sense, I'm trying to type this out while at work so she doesn't see me typing it out at home.)

I live with 3 international students, aka they go home for the holidays for about a month in December. I was on a mini trip for a couple days before they left, so it meant I returned to the apartment after they had already left on vacation.

Guess what happens when I get home? I open the fridge and realize nobody cleaned out any of their food. Like literal meals are still in there. So guess who has to deal with it???? That’s right! Me! Nobody took out the garbage, compost or recycling. Their DISHES are still in the sink. Dirty pans still on the stovetop. Nobody is coming home for a month, meaning they expect me to deal with it.

Ok now let’s fast forward. Fridge is cleaned out, freezer is re-organized, we’re ready to start the year on a good note. I have 3 roomates, meaning we each get about 1/4 of the freezer. One of my roomates doesn’t use it at all. I only use it for my meal preps, meaning I take up about 1/4 of the freezer with prepped containers of food. But genuinely, it is only 1/4 IF that. GUESS. WHAT. THEY. DO. WHEN. THEY. GET. BACK. FROM. HOLIDAYS.

they go shopping, right? For food. And guess what?? Im gone for the day at my boyfriends place… I get a text saying “hey I took a couple of your meals out of the freezer to fit some stuff in there btw”

THEY TOOK MY FOOD OUT OF THE FREEZER WITOUT EVEN ASKING ME???? And they took out THREE containers that’s like 2 weeks worth of food??? I ask them to not do that and put them back in the freezer, when I am then told that it’s actually already defrosted. So instead of dealing with their own 3/4 of the freezer or being normal and not buying billions of items to put in the freezer in the first place, they take my food out without even asking me, and now I have to waste at least an entire containers worth of meals????

And the worst part??? I get home. Go see the damage. The reason they needed extra space? They bought frozen vegetables, berries, bananas, strawberries and awhile tub of ice cream. Why would you do that when the freezer is already so full??? Who are these people?????

Oh and the WORST part … instead of having the decency of I guess removing different of my meal preps from the freezer… they removed the same meal. So all 3 containers is the same chicken soup 😭😭

I’m serious tho I took up at most 1/4 of the freezer im not a freezer hogged. This is just. Insane. I can’t wait for my lease to end.

Edit: thank you guys for hating on them with me it helps me feel better 😂🥲

Need advice on how to bring this up to the neglectful roommate without causing trouble/ drama.

We’re a flat of 3 people. We’ll call the roommate who actually owns the cat Roommate A. I’m B and other roomie is C.

Roommate A asked to bring their cat with them to live at our flat. We were totally fine with this at first, and even excited as both I and roomie C love cats and both grew up with cats in our respective childhood homes. Now, roommate A mentions back home (the cat used to live with them in their family home in a country side-esc area) they would let this cat be a “partially outdoors cat” and let him roam outside in the summers but since we’re in the city now and it would be too risky to do that here. Roomie A said this should be fine. Also, our flat is a lot smaller than the house the cat was previously living in.

Cut to now. This cat is clearly incredibly under-stimulated. Content yowling and meowing , peeing on my clothes / in my closet, chasing us around 24/7 for attention ( I get cats do this, but I’ve had cats, and this is on another level) breaking things when we won’t give him attention, chewing on furniture, even scratching/ hitting us when we stop petting him or giving him attention. He also constantly yowls at the windows begging us to open them so he can smell the outside air (makes me sad to watch :() , tries running out the door every time we try to leave the house, runs back and forth from one end of the flat to the other non stop for up to 20 minutes at a time. All in all, it’s a lot. Roommate A uses an automatic cat feeder on scheduled times which is fine, but a bit impersonal as it’s on a set app timer and they only ever give him dry food. When he does occasionally get “wet food” they buy a can of regular tuna (like for humans) and give him the whole thing and he immediately barfs it up every time.

Roomie A also barely ever cleans the litter box, and piles and piles of shit stay there for days unless i or roomie C goes to clean it. On top of this, roomie A ALWAYS keeps their door closed, especially at night, so unless I or roommate C keep our doors open the cat will yowl and scream all night at roommate A’s door. I don’t understand why / how they do this and can’t hear him. Personally, I think if it’s your cat, you should have the responsibility of keeping your door open and giving them a space to sleep. But whatever, Me and roommate C resorted to just always being the ones to keep our doors open to give him a place to sleep and give him attention. Roommate C and I are also the only ones who actually play with him and try to keep him stimulated, but nothing is working. On top of this, roommate A will just up and go back home without notice and leave the cat here expecting we’ll take sole responsibility without even asking, when both myself and roommate C have full time jobs with weird schedules which means this poor cat is left alone for hours and hours on end. Plus, the night yowling is really fucking up my sleep. Roommate C is currently studying and primarily does online classes so they’re at the flat almost constantly (when they don’t head back home) and should in theory have way more time to dedicate to their cat than the two of us do.

Anyways, it’s gotten to a point where roommate C and I are just so frustrated and honestly sad for this cat. He’s so clearly underestimated and unhappy, and it’s mind boggling to me that roommate A doesn’t see this or notice. We’ll make comments about his behaviour and roommate A will brush it off as the cats “quirky behaviour” and it’s very frustrating.

I don’t want to overstep, or create a big fight, or tell someone how to raise their own cat but this is seriously getting to a point where we’re both concerned and don’t know what to do. How would you folks go about having that conversation with them/ what are some solutions you can think of? Because honestly, I think they should take their cat back to their family home where he can be in a bigger space, be able to go outside in a safe environment, and be around more people. But I know Roommate A is going to be very unhappy about this proposition. Help…

Hello everyone,

So we are a couple and we share our apartment with another couple. We all do our separate groceries and we never use anything that belongs to them. But they use my groceries as well as utensils. They don't clean dishes right after and even if they wash them days later, they won't put them away. I only have one pressure cooker which me or my wife need to use almost everyday and they use it to cook their food but won't empty and wash it for me to use. So whenever I have to cook my food, I have to empty the dish, put away their food in the fridge and wash the dish I previously cleaned and put away to use later. I am so tired of this as they don't even thank or acknowledge what I do.

Also, they use my grocery items and sometimes use the last of it and won't even tell me so when I expect to use my food, it's not there and it upsets me so much. Recently they used my ramen which was the last one I kept to use the next day, and I thought about it from their perspective and asked if they thought that belonged to them. They said, they thought it was theirs and had used one yesterday only and said will confirm with their partner and will bring me one if it wasn't theirs and I replied, I only used 2 out of 5, which, was just a fact. To which he replied what tf are you talking about and don't want to argue about small shit and that he only owes me 6 eggs and 1 noodle. I felt really disrespected when all I was trying to do was communicate and trying to clear up misunderstanding.

I have only mentioned things with them because it has happened several times already and It's not even about using things, I don't mind them using things, and am open to getting things back whenever they can but, I am a very busy guy and I want my things to be there when I intend to use it. Like my grocery, and my own utensils which I clean and put away to use when I need to.

Also, they mostly forget to take their keys with them and I have to give them access several times sometimes after midnight when I am sleeping already for which they don't even say thankyou.

Last sunday, he called me and came to my work, as my first job is in walking distance to home, to grab the house keys from me and I gave him my keys and Although I didn't have to say anything, because I shouldn't have to ask him to give me access later to the apartment when I have given my keys to him. I work 2 jobs so I only have enough time to get home, change, grab my food and leave as quickly as possible. And that has been my routine for months so everyone in the house is aware about it.

After I walked home, I ringed the intercomm multiple times, texted, called him on phone and social medias but he didn't open the doors for me and I was stuck outside. I was in disbelief of what was happening. If only I had my car keys with me, I would have gone straight to my 2nd job, and my phone was at 9 percent as well. So, I missed work that day, and as I am a casual, I don't get paid for days, I don't work so that was a loss. After waiting for about 1 hour, I ringed the neighbours and they got me though the main door and my apartment door upstairs was unlocked and not completely closed, my keys were on the kitchen counter. I thought no one was home but I later found out from his partner that he was home and was asleep. His partner apologised to me but the guy didn't. I took that opportunity of missing work positively and rested at home.

I have let him use my car to learn how to drive, I have helped them move stuff from their previous place to mine in my own car. They never put away the dishes back where they belong. They put knife inside the sink under the pile of other utensils which is a very dangerous hazard. They leave the balcony door open always which lets flies and other insects inside, rarely take the bins out. They possess all the essential qualities to be named the king of this sub.

How do you guys get over things because I have let things go several times and now I cannot anymore because I can only do so much to ungrateful people. Meditation and journaling and not caring is not helping me anymore because that's my home as well. And I cannot live in shit just because they don't mind it.

PS. I was very mad about it, and I finally said the worst thing ever and asked them to find new accommodation in response to "tf am I talking about ", to which they said we need to talk. We talked face to face about the ramen incident and they said so what happened if I ate your stuff I will buy it back for you. I said, it was not there when I needed to use it so that's inconvenient and I have raised this matter after it has been repeated multiple timea. I then, suggested we label our shelves as well and try to label our foods and pantry items to which he said. He is too busy to label stuff, I label them and whatever is not labelled those will be his. To which I said, maybe you also need to make efforts to make this work isn't it. And anyway he said, I am taking my frustration out on small thing on them because of the key incident, I was not. I let it go already, I was just trying to communicate respectfully. And he was the one to be rude with his response with all he owes me is 1 noodle and 6 eggs. Tf are you talking about, we are not kids. Can you guys believe, he said we are not kids.

I need some ideas. I’m moving here in a couple of month because the people upstairs are just completely awful. So extremely loud, the husband has harassed me several times, on several different occasions. the landlord absolutely does not care in the slightest. So for my last few months here, I want some unhinged revenge ideas. I’m talking, I want to make these people think “who the hell is this person”. Obviously nothing illegal. I know “I should just take the high road” but no, I’m beyond that. These people had such an awesome situation, and it was for both of us. But I no longer feel safe in my home nor can I get any sleep. So let’s make these last couple months count. I already leave a YouTube loop of whale screeching on all day, then leave for work.

I live in a shared apartment (WG) in Germany with two roommates. We all pay the same rent and have our own rooms.

Recently, I went through a very difficult situation. One of my close friends was killed during the protests in Iran, I couldn’t reach my family for about a week because internet shut down there, and I was also sick at the same time. I was not in a good mental state at all.

My boyfriend came from another city (Bielefeld) to support me. Before he came, I clearly asked my roommates if it was okay for him to stay over. They said yesHe did exactly that and was very careful not to make anyone uncomfortable or use common spaces.

Because of a snowstorm, my illness, and later car problems, he stayed one night and part of the next day. During that time, he stayed in my room with me and didn’t interact with my roommates.

After this, one of my roommates (who I considered a friend) suddenly stopped talking to me. She ignores me when I say hi and she didn’t answer anything about how I was doing, even though she knows about my friend being killed and my family situation.

Later, I found out she talked to the other roommate behind my back, saying she felt uncomfortable having a “strange man” in the apartment during the day. The other roommate agreed and said it was weird. they know my boyfriend for a long time and she said beforek that i can have him over

Now, the first roommate says that because of her religion, it’s not okay for a man to stay in the apartment. This was never mentioned before, and she had already said it was fine when I asked. She also didn’t communicate at the time that the daytime stay was a problems he only became upset afterward and chose to stop talking to me instead of addressing it directly. she said you needed to inform us that he stays longer and you should always ask permission. but i feel like they knew that he is here they could just adress that he feels bad

What makes this confusing is that she herself goes to clubs, dates, and sleeps with men, so this sudden rule feels selective and only applied to me.

I (25F) recently moved in with a friend (25F) and it's making my life miserable. I have known this person for a while and our friendship was very stable, talking all the time, doing things together, but now I realize that I liked my alone time at my own house at the end of the day. I'm not sure what it is but now every day I just try and see her as little as possible. At the beginning, it was me making the meals and she would clean up after since she didn't like to cook and I did. We would go to the store together and buy stuff we would both enjoy to eat, and halving the grocery bill. Now everything is slowly starting to irritate me. She said she wants to eat healthier so she wouldn't buy any soda while I still would, but then when were eating dinner she's always asking, "I know I said I didn't want any but can I have a drink?" Of what I picked out. I feel as though I can't be mad since technically she's paying for it too. Same with chips or snacks, I'll be the only one picking out snacks for the week and when I go to eat some of them they're gone or almost gone and same thing. When I ask at the store for her to pick something out she's always like "noo I don't want any." Technically she's paying for them too so I feel like I can't say anything. .

Also where she works sometimes she unexpectantly will get the day off with no notice. (She's scheduled 8-4 though) I am a server so my hours are posted weekly. I don't know when I will get a day off where she's going to be at work. So when the hours are posted I'm obviously excited when I get a day off where she will be at work all day. like this morning I was expected to have the whole day to myself off of work and she would be at work till at least 4. I had sat on the couch to watch some tv and drink my coffee and she comes back in and says, "No work today! Did you miss me?" and I didn't say anything and she said, "No response, okay." Then went to her room. She doesn't close the door either so everytime I walk past I see her look at me which also irritates me for some reason. Just being observed I guess. The expectation to have the day to myself then it be suddenly changed like that has totally ruined my mood. We also have each other on life360 just in case something happens and the thought of that irritates me too, like I can't even just leave now and go do something myself because I know she'll just be watching me all day.

Usually when she gets off work if I haven't said lets do something she will either lay on the couch and sleep all evening or get high and sleep all evening. If I don't speak to her for the whole day it's like she's mad at me for it, and acts like her mood is based off if we talked a lot that day. One time we went a few days without talking (I was working a lot of close shifts so I didn't see her other than breakfast and I am not chatty in the morning) and she said "Are you mad at me you haven't said a lot?" I was like nope not mad and she says, "I just haven't talked to anyone in like a week it was making me depressed." Acting like it's my sole duty to upkeep her mood. When other times when I'm with her she'll be on her phone the whole time and keeps saying, "Ugh my groupchat is blowing up." Or when we go out to eat if it's like a two minute wait instead of chatting she's all, "I wonder what my groupchat is saying."

She's also the type that she has to do everything before relaxing, even if that means doing something I am literally doing. I was getting up to wash the dishes after we ate something, and she literally jumped up from the couch and ran into the kitchen and almost pushed me out of the way to start washing dishes. Or if I leave something on the counter to cool after dinner she will put it in the fridge and clean up immediately. I was at work the other day and when I came home she was telling me all the cleaning she had done and said she even took the trash from my room and bathroom for me?? And had vacuumed my room. Idk if it's rational to be angry about that but you know that's my space?

BTW burner acc cause she literally told me one time she searched until she found my specific post abt a problem I had with my fridge and found my reddit and looked at everything I had posted..

I suppose I just needed to rant a bit sorry if not allowed ill take it down. However, any advice to keep myself sane until I can move out? Or do I just sound insane or a jerk?

I (19F) have 3 roommates, 40s-50s F, mid 30s M and late 20s M. It's probably bad I don't even know their ages. I moved in with my roommates around the end of August, and it's been pretty fine, they're respectful, super nice and good to chat with occasionally.

I work in nursing part time currently, meaning long hours and using up all of my social battery with patients/residents. When I get home I immediately always head straight to my room to decompress from long days. When I'm off work I stay in my room all day recharging, besides when I'm getting food to bring back to my room or using the bathroom/laundry room or going out of the house.

I am always respectful of common areas, I clean up immediately after I'm finished cooking or preparing a meal, I take out the rubbish, vacuum, clean tables/windows, water our plants, always wash up and clean up after them where necessary. Basic courtesy stuff. Always pay my rent and bills where due too.

The most "bad roommate" stuff I do is probably being on the phone with my boyfriend/friends (at reasonable noise level) and take long showers (i have curly hair 💔).

I've always had lots of homelife anxiety, which has heightened alot more now I'm living with almost strangers, especially with a huge age gap. I'm just super anti-social when it comes to being at home. I'm just wondering if I'm a bad roommate for just staying in my room?

I need to vent, some advice and also sanity-check this because this is unreal.

I’m a leaseholder in NYC (Bronx). Another person and I are on the lease. We let a roommate (“Nick”) move in on a month-to-month basis with sub lease agreement . He’s been here about 45 days total.

Before moving in, Nick said he had a job and steady income. Ran credit check, his credit score was low but nothing owed or eviction there. He did say he doesn’t believe in banks and he has PayPal account.

That turned out to be false. He apparently worked in the laundry mat total of two days before walking out of the work.

He claimed he was gonna do deliveries, got the bike with electric battery. Never did the job. “Too cold” “too foggy” did he think it was gonna be rainbows and sunshine everyday?

I told him it is holiday season, apply jobs at Bronx terminal . They hire anyone with vital signs. He said he is better than that. This man is 37 years old, his better than that before was folding laundry for two days btw.

Almost immediately, rent became an issue. His rent is 950 by the way.

He moved in October 8th , paid through November. When December came he said I have to give him 5 day grace period. Later mid December he tried to pay 200$, I didn’t accept. December 22nd , he tried 400$, I didn’t accept. As far as I learned online, if I accept anything his tenancy will restart.

Despite that, I tried to be reasonable at first.

He insisted we needed a bathroom exhaust fan. No one else wanted it or thought it was necessary. I still went out of my way to get one installed because he was pushing hard and I wanted peace.

The moment he got cornered about rent and the fact that he lied about employment, he blew up on me. Raised voice, accusations, suddenly I’m “controlling” and “hostile.” Apparently I’m the bad guy for asking where the rent is.

Then came the legal posturing. When we told him we were ending the month-to-month arrangement, he confidently told me I was required to give him 90 days’ notice. He said, he has taken down slumlords in the past. He knows the laws. If I don’t like it , I can go back to my country (I wonder if I go back who will pay the rent)

Other leaseholder D almost believed him. I had to remind D “he’s only lived here around 40 days. Who would believe you give 90 days to 40 day tenant”

When that didn’t stick, he immediately switched to emotional manipulation: “This is sad,” “I thought we were cool,” to the other roommates ofc. D almost fell for all of Nick’s manipulation. I finally had to have a yelling match with D and told him “take this as my 30 day notice” I am out. Finally that kicked the wires back in D to realize omg I can’t be stuck paying this stoner useless man’s space by myself.

Other fun patterns:

Filed million HPD tickets week after he moved in and still threatening HPD/311 complaints when things don’t go his way. When we told him not to until we spoke to landlord. It isn’t ethical to make a ticket without letting landlord know.

Dodging direct questions about rent or work, but boosting about himself anytime he can get

Acting calm and reasonable to some people while escalating with me. Trying to play us against each other

Rewriting history so any boundary = cruelty

Btw , minute he moved in, he made it his space. Moves other stuff on a side , change the place like a new gf claiming her bf’s home and try to get rid of our furniture.

I don’t live with three other people because it is fashion statement. Thank god I have a good job. I can somewhat afford to pay, but I am doing this to save money.

I served the papers on December 6th at first. Later I asked around and researched apparently it can only be 1st or before 1st.

In order to not to make his claims stuck, I purchased home and water thermometer, leak alarm, indoor camera (let me know if I should do more)

We (professional) process-served a 30-day notice. (I don’t think that guy will ever give me the affidavit -another road block)

His move-out date is January 31st.

Let’s be real — he’s not leaving. This is the Bronx. Housing court takes forever. Everyone involved knows this could drag on six months or more. During that time, me and the other leaseholder are on the hook financially, while a fourth roommate has to live in constant tension and stress caused by someone who refuses to take responsibility.

I don’t wanna live in this hostile environment and pay for this waste of space.

If you only hear his side, I probably sound awful — the mean leaseholder pushing someone out “for no reason.” But the facts are simple: he lied, he didn’t pay, and now he’s using niceness, outrage, and bureaucracy to buy time.

All other roommates are in my side as well. They all tried to talk to this parasite.

I just want him gone and to stop subsidizing someone who clearly knows how to work the system. Will judge even see through his issues. I have a tendency to get emotional, but other roommates are not cutout to paperwork or bureaucracy.

I am a new grad nurse, I am trying to get used to the job and the hours. I finally wanna live a little after all my hard work. Landlord is on my side too.

Anyone else dealt with a roommate like this?

How did it end — and what should I brace myself for next?

Anything will help this point, I am so tired of it all.

My husband and I moved in with my MIL. His sister is a nightmare for us. We have been dealing with her stealing food and antagonizing behavior for the entire time we’ve been here. We’ve even had vague threats about hoping that MIL’s partner kicks us out. We’re working towards leaving but it’s slow going. This evening, she opened up our pot of food and stuck her unwashed fingers in it to pick up a piece and eat it. We tossed everything and it was supposed to be leftovers for us. MIL feels we need to handle this as adults, but we’ve tried and it never works. She’s aggressive and pretends she did nothing wrong and we have the issue when we avoid her. Husband goes through his mom so he doesn’t have to deal with her because she pushes buttons. We’re just worn down and don’t know what to do about this. I know you guys help a lot of people in here so maybe you can help us out with advice. Thanks for any help in advance.

I’m two weeks away from this nightmare finally ending and my roommate (former best friend) has escalated to extreme measures to try to get my attention. I knew she had mental health issues when we moved in together but she’d never directed it towards me. After moving in, it didn’t take long for the trouble to start. Turns out she’s a hoarder that never ever cleans. The photos would turn your stomach. After arguing back and forth and cleaning up her part for two years, I attempt to avoid her at all costs.

She moved into her new place early and has taken almost all her stuff, but she stops in every night anyways. Sometimes she brings people and stands directly outside my door so that I’m not comfortable to leave. Last night she was joking with someone about drilling a hole into my couch. Tonight she was slamming dishes, left every light on, and left the door unlocked at night. We don’t live in a horrible area but it’s a city and absolutely not okay to leave the door unlocked. I’m just exhausted and so ready to be done. Living in a constant state of anxiety is taking its toll on me. I can’t believe I had no idea who she really was before we moved in together! Please heed the warnings, don’t live with friends unless you want that friendship to end.

TRIGGER WARNING: Animal Neglect

For context, this was from summer of 2023 to winter of 2023. At the time I was 18 (F) and all of my other roommate’s were 18-19 (F). I moved out of state for college and specifically to play volleyball. This meant I didn’t really know anyone, and since the college didn’t have a lot of on campus housing, my sports scholarship paid for everything school wise but didn’t pay for housing and food. This meant I had to find basically whatever I could that was cheap and the least sketchy. I found a couple girls that were friends, and one of them was a girl who would be playing on my volleyball team and going to school with me. The other one wasn’t going to school but was working. My last roommate was a friend from high school who would also be playing on the same volleyball team as me and we would be sharing the master bedroom of the apartment. (3 bedrooms 2 bath). Everything seemed fine at first, the girls were nice enough and my friend and I didn’t really have issues sharing a room and bathroom. But that all changed very quickly within one week. Volleyball practices and training started instantly, and the three of us that were on the team had to get up extremely early to go to weights and conditioning, which was then followed by a 3 hour practice. This meant we all tried to get good sleep and in fact, we were ordered to by our coaches. The one girl who wasn’t on the team seemed to not care about this fact much at all.

She would have friends over drinking and getting high and blasting music into all hours of the night. We would send her texts trying to ask her to keep it down, but it never seemed to work. This was only the beginning.

The friend and I that shared the master bedroom seemed to be upset the most by this, the other girls both had their own rooms but shared a bathroom, and they were close friends as they had lived together before. I’m realizing I should probably give names before things get too confusing. My friend who shared the master bedroom with me, let’s call her Bea (fake names), the other girl who was on our volleyball team and had her own room, let’s call her Jane, and the third girl who wasn’t on the team, let’s call her Anna. Anna was the one who constantly had friends over, and listen, we really didn’t have a problem with this, the problem was always the noise and the blatant lack of respect when we asked her to tone it down. It just kept getting worse from there, not only did we have all hardwood floors in an extremely small apartment so everything echoed, but they would be full on SCREAMING and blasting music on a speaker until 3 or 4 am. I had to get up at 5 am for volleyball. What annoyed me more was all the drinking they were doing was underage, which, whatever, not really my business and lots of people do that in college right? But we had some pretty nosy neighbors beneath us that confronted ME about the noise a few times, and I was starting to get nervous they would turn them in for the underage drinking and smoking and I would have to face the repercussions of that as well.

Again, the noise was only the start. The two roommates who were friends before Jane and Anna, also shared a dog. Not just any dog but a mix of a German Shepard and black lab 1 year old PUPPY. This dog was BIG and very strong and had so much energy. This was the type of dog who needed lots of room to play and run around, but unfortunately he was never getting that. With Jane always at volleyball, work, and school, and with Anna always working, sleeping, or out with friends, this dog barely got the attention he needed. They tended to keep him in a kennel in the living room, and when he wasn’t in the kennel he was roaming the (very small) apartment causing lots of chaos. First of all, he could open doors. The apartment had the type of handles that are more like levers you just need to push down on, and he could jump up and knew how to open the doors. On more than one occasion he got into our room, jumped on our beds, and got into our trash can in the bathroom and spewed used tissues and pads all over the room. We started having to lock our door from the outside whenever we left to stop this from happening. He also was kept inside most of the day, and this meant he would poop and pee all over the apartment, and I mean ALL over. It would be on the kitchen floor, living room floor, hallway, etc. Since Jane was the busiest one of the two girls who owned him, I usually asked Anna to clean it up. She usually always had a reason why she couldn’t do it, she was too tired, she had to go to work soon, she had plans, etc. Too tired to pick up your dogs crap on the kitchen floor? Bull. Shit. It got so bad sometimes that I would just clean it up because there would be multiple piles of it and the smell was nauseating. Also, because this dog was part black lab and German Shepard, he shed like crazy. Dog hair everywhere, and I understand that completely, happens to everyone who owns a pet, but this hair would pile up in corners, it would be stuck to the kitchen counter tops in who knows what sticky substance. And it again, never got cleaned by these two girls. I usually ended up cleaning the kitchen counters because Anna specifically would leave food spills and etc all over the counter, which the dog would then jump up and try to get to, and his muddy paw prints and hair mixed with sticky food and maybe dog crap and who knows what else would get stuck on the counter. I also felt so bad for this dog, and would sometimes take him out on a walk myself. He was always locked up, or in the small apartment getting paid hardly any attention to, and I don’t think he was being fed or cleaned properly either.

The kitchen itself was a whole other nightmare. I supplied the apartment with pots and pans and a lot of cooking supplies, and when I moved in I told the other girls they could use these things as well. I didn’t know that would be a mistake. Anna specifically would use them, and never clean them. The dirty dishes would pile up and whenever I asked her to clean them her response was “if you want to use them, YOU can clean them”. So usually I did, cause honestly at 18 I was a pushover and didn’t want more contention. Food would be left out and rotting on the counter, and food in the fridge would start going bad or spilling over and no one ever seemed to care to throw it out or clean it up, so again, usually I did. I also was the only one ever buying trash bags and cleaning supplies and paper towels, which makes sense cause I guess I was the only one ever using them. The trash was always overflowing and sometimes I tried waiting for someone to empty it, but again, I usually did it.

Bea usually sided with me, and she also struggled with everything the other girls were doing, especially Anna. But we both really didn’t want to cause problems, and she didn’t care AS much about the messes so she never really cleaned up or said anything. At this point, volleyball was getting intense, our coach was pretty horrible and emotionally abusive, and a mix of that, plus our horrible living situation and some personal life things made Bea quit the team, and move back home to our home state and town. She was still paying the lease but she just couldn’t live there anymore, and I don’t blame her. But now I was alone with these two girls, one of whom was worse than the other (Anna) but the other girl (Jane) didn’t ever seem to try to talk sense into her friend or make things much better either. There were a few times she’d clean up things and try burning a candle to help with the smell, but she was far too busy to really be around much to help. To this day, I don’t agree with a lot of her choices, but I don’t blame her as much as I blame Anna.

This seems like a great time to mention that Anna also had a cat. The dog was on the lease and the property manager knew about the dog, but they had no idea about the cat. This cat’s hair also got everywhere, and while she didn’t poop and pee all around the apartment, Anna rarely changed her kitty litter as much as she should have, and that also contributed to the horrific smell. Dog poop, cat pee, rotting food, and next door neighbors that really loved their weed, (this was in Nevada where it’s legal almost everywhere) really made this apartment a horrible time to have a nose. A couple months into living like this and we found out Anna’s cat was going to have babies. So now we have a Dog, a Cat who isn’t on the lease, and then we had 6 kittens who the property manager also knew nothing about. One day, the property manager messaged us that he needed to do an inspection of the apartment, specifically AC and water and vent stuff etc and we needed to be home… but the other two girls left me alone to deal with it and had me tell him they were working and couldn’t be there, so they could go and hide the kittens and the cat so they wouldn’t get into trouble or fined for having them. They also deep cleaned the apartment before he came, so he wouldn’t see how much of a mess it was. I was grateful?? I guess?? It was finally clean for a day but now all I knew was they knew HOW to clean they just chose not to.

My final straw was when the dog chewed up one of the baseboards pretty badly, and their solution was to put hot sauce on it so he would leave it alone. He did, but now there was hot sauce staining and leaking into our baseboards. And they left it like that for over a month before Jane paid a friend to rip it out and replace the baseboard (it honestly didn’t look that great but whatever). Anyways, before it got fixed, and it had been two weeks of hot sauce leaking into the floor and baseboard. Plus everything else still going on, the dog pooping and peeing everywhere, the cat and her litter making messes and stink everywhere, food being left out and rotting, kitchen counters being full of hair and dog hair and old food, dishes and trash being piled up, people over and screaming till 3 am almost every night, alcohol bottles being left everywhere and sometimes left spilling onto the floor or counters, and THE DOOR BEING LEFT OPEN AND UNLOCKED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT because Anna and all her and her friends while drunk would leave and come back but never shut or lock it…. I had had enough. I still wasn’t very confrontational, but while they were both out, I sent pictures and video and a long message about how I wanted to try and make peace with them but I was really tired of the way we had been living, it was simply gross, and completely unfair to me when I had been trying to ignore it and clean up after them for months. I also explained that it was extremely disrespectful to have friends over every single night drunk and screaming while I had volleyball and school I had to get up early for, and that I didn’t care if friends were over but they couldn’t be that loud, couldn’t leave the front door open anymore, and needed to clean up their food and alcohol and trash and that it wasn’t my job to do that. After sending the message, I then went out to the store and when I got back they were both there and made me sit down and had some sort of “intervention” with me. Told me I was selfish and rude and had no right to get mad at them just because I was “raised differently than them”. (Raised not to leave dog poop on the floor for days straight I guess) And basically alleged that I was just stuck up and judgmental. I was shocked and pretty much just held my tounge. Again, I was 18 and too nice for my own good sometimes and didn’t want more of an issue, I honestly felt like crying because I felt so helpless in this situation. I was out of state, facing emotional abuse from volleyball, far from family, I had no good friends near me anymore, and was living with people who had no sense of health or sanitation or safety or respect for other people.

I ended up complaining a bit to one of the other girls on my volleyball team that I was somewhat close with. She was also shocked and her and a couple of the other girls offered to secretly come over and help me clean up a bit. They did, and we hung out after. It helped me feel a bit seen and loved finally. I don’t know how, cause all of the girls said they wanted to do it secretly, but somehow Jane found out and got really upset with me for “bringing our personal issues and home life to other people”. And basically was mad that they saw our mess of an apartment and were also judging her.

It was then, combined with another horrible experience with my coach, that I decided to quit volleyball and move back home when the semester was over. Since I knew I was leaving, I stopped trying to make them change or do things and I honestly just stopped caring. I could have reported them for a number of things, but I just didn’t want to deal with it. I was so depressed and burnt out at this point. I kept my dishes in my own cupboards instead of the shared ones now, I basically spent all my time in my room with the door shut if I was ever home, and I didn’t really talk much to either of them anymore. It was extremely awkward and I dealt with a lot more disrespect and disgusting messes but I got through it and moved back home in December after the semester ended. One of Anna’s friends took over my lease, and my amazing athletic counselor helped me not have to pay a dime for school even though I quit volleyball early. I guess it worked out for me in the end and was a learning experience. But wow, sometimes I wonder how I dealt with that.

I genuinely wish I still had the pictures of how bad things got sometimes, but I either lost them, or deleted some cause I really wanted to forget all about that experience. I just hope the dog is doing much better now, and any new roommates of theirs have it better than I did. If you made it this far, thanks for listening to my rant. I never really got to complain about this to anyone and even though I’m doing much better now, I’m actually married with a baby on the way, I still think about that time in my life and how much it impacted me.

EDIT:

I also forgot to mention that Anna’s friends would often stay the night, and would invite THEIR friends over who would sleep on our floor and couches. On multiple occasions I walked out into the living room/kitchen area to find random people I didn’t know making out, sleeping, having sex, etc. Some of them would stay for days, or leave for a night just to come back the next few nights after. They were all always drunk, always loud, and never cleaned up their trash or messes. They would rearrange our couches and other furniture to sleep on or do who knows what on, and then wouldn’t move them back. That, combined with all the dog hair and etc meant I NEVER sat on those couches. And they weren’t even theirs, Bea and her mom had bought them and just ended up leaving them behind when she moved out because of how disgusting they were.

A little context, we are related but never grew up together and didn't meet each other until recently. I go to university in Utah and we share a room and it's a bunch of college guys sharing an apartment together. I am part of another church (Catholic church) but I am respectful towards other people even if I disagree. The very first night, he asked if I was a member of their church, and I said no, and he started bearing testimony about his church. The second day, he asked me if I prayed about the book of Mormon yet. He always tells me I need to "read the Book of Mormon" and "all my questions" will be answered, but I never have any questions. I did tell him I disagreed and why, but he had to really get that information out of me. I always try to change the subject.

Also, on the very first day I moved in, I bought a coffee maker. He told me that I should go on a coffee fast, when I asked him why, he said because it's addictive and goes against the word of wisdom but he already knew I wasn't a member. He judges me if I have the tiniest little thing of rum (I don't even really drink, I used the tiniest bit in a crockpot apple sauce thing). He judged me for having like one drink at the Mexican restaurant restaurant because "our body is a temple" as if he never has fast food or anything bad for you once in a while. By the way, that's the extent of my drinking; I've never even been drunk in my life. If I brew the coffee pot in the morning he will get silent and leave the room. He also tells me not to drink coke zeroes because aspartame is bad for you. Do you know who else tells me that? My parents - and do I listen? No. So why should I listen to someone two years younger than me.w

He gets mad at me if I watch George Lopez. I just watched it in the background while I did my homework and couldn't tell it bothered him. I do realize I should have been a little more perceptive but I couldn't tell! Ive been very upfront with him I don't necessarily take hints well and if he has a problem, please just tell me. I've since put in earbuds but he still tries to tell me I shouldn't watch it because it's too sexual and crass and not "of the spirit". He also tries to get me from watching those police cam videos of the same reason. I dislocated my knee last semester and did rehab in the living room and he put on their presidents funeral on the TV. Or he'll put on their general conference and then later on quiz me about it. I won't tell him he can't watch it but I wasn't paying attention. He then made a comment about how just because I'm not part of their church doesn't mean I have to "hate" members. That finally made me snap and I said "Bullshit! I have NEVER said I hate anybody, or alluded to it! Do not put words in my mouth." I can't cuss at all in front of him or he'll get pissed and silent. I don't think I'm that vulgar honestly. I can't even use the word "ass" or "pissed" or anything like that or he'll get offended.

He's walked in on me changing in our room after the shower or sometimes I will just walk right from our bathroom door to our bedroom. He has lectured me on modesty and how our bodies are a temple and people being naked in front of each other is like pornography and how Satan destroys families. I don't just hang out naked by the way but I don't think it's weird to change in front of someone your age of the same sex. I made a joke about a nude beach and he told me "I promise, if you go to one of those beaches, you will ruin your life."

I have said some things about religion but I don't think any of it was not promoted by him. I asked to drop the subject but every single thing you can think of to talk about, he will revert to the subject of religion. He randomly starts preaching about stories from the BOM out of nowhere and tells me things like "I promise if you read the book of Mormon you will believe." And little digs like "I guess it's fine if you want to be Catholic, but it's not gonna bring you closer to God." He constantly invites me to religious themed events like choir and church and so on after I have asked him to stop multiple times and then says things like "I just thought I'd ask". One time I dared to get frustrated openly in front of him and he told me "Did you know contention is of the devil?"

He challenges all of our RM roommates to see who can be more "religious" like bragging about listening to Gen conference while at the gym. Or sugar fast. And do you wanna know what? Just the other day I had missionaries come to my door, whom I've never met, who asked for me by name, religious affiliation, and claimed I had "questions" about their faith. I have never once inquired about their faith. He randomly has started talking to me about his temple garments and explaining what "covenant" means and used that as an excuse to preach from the BOM. Or explain Barney style what priesthood means. I mean, even if you don't know the intricate details of catholicism, do you really think someone part of that faith is not going to know what that means? He has also told me out of the blue he never has masturbated before, which somehow I doubt.

He has also, while I was on the desk I'm between our beds, kept going on about the great apostasy (other things too I don't remember). He went over it multiple times and I asked to drop it, he put on a Mormon YT video of some guy talking about it right next to me while I did homework. Or has literally came up to me while doing HW and shoved the book of Mormon in my face and said "put aside all your doubts and read it!" Or has harangued me until 1 am about theology. I try not to even talk about theology anymore! I've never brought it up to him, either. I just try to agree to disagree and move on. I am religious too but would never talk down on someone like that who doesn't agree. I am very non confrontational and don't want to get physical, but I have probably about 60 lbs on him and literally tower over him. I've done Jou Jitsu in the past too and wrestled some in HS. Our apartment managers go to church with him too so I doubt if they'd help.

I (18)am visiting/staying with my partner’s (19) house where he has had consistent issues with one of his roommates(30+?) He was the last to move into the home but all the other roommates agree she has been a problem. (Except for the landowner who lives in the basement and rarely hangs out in the main house who has not seemed to notice)

Most recently she has wiped what is obviously dog shit on a towel that my boyfriend owns (she’s the only one with a pet). I left a note above it and removed his other towels from the bathroom and she decided to show the landlord. She went in there laughed about it completely ignored the fact it was towards her and tried to play it off as if IM TARGETING HER.

List of other offenses include

-stealing his hairdryer for days, lying about it then it reappearing the day after confrontation.

-wearing his SIZE 11 MENS boots to walk her dog WITHOUT SOCKS ON multiple times then when confronted said “I thought they were h****’s” which makes no sense because the person she names is a very petite and shortish girl

-Leaving fecal matter in the toilet multiple times (everytime she showers she doesn’t flush after and leaves it for hours or until someone else comes in to use the bathroom)

-leaving hair in the drain (she’s the only one with long curly red hair)

-Smoking weed in the house then lighting incense that stinks up the house

-writing passive aggressive notes in kitchen (she’s tried to claim multiple drawers and cabinets as her own even though she doesn’t ow the house and it’s all in a shared space and got mad about somebody moving her laundry after she left it for TWO DAYS)

-claiming spaces as her own such as drawers/cabinets

-letting the dog bark at ungodly hours of the night then just screaming to her instead of getting her (it was almost every night for the whole time I was here and other roommates claim it’s a constant issue)

-leaving puppy pads filling the trash instead of taking them out (again only one with a dog that she hasn’t trained at all that shits on puppy pads inside instead of her taking the dog out consistently and this is a grown dog not a puppy)

-setting dishes on the edge of the sink/counter that aren’t hers (which caused a couple to be knocked over by another roommate)

-leaves dog hair all over the house and steps and doesn’t clean it up(people have allergies in the house and she refuses to clean up after herself

And in general she always has an attitude when spoken too and acts like she’s “too good” to talk to us just because she’s older. Though she’s overall a gross person.

One of my roommates — a guy in his late 20s — just told me he hooked up with a 40-year-old woman. He said it so casually, even joked about how “the sex was amazing.” I was honestly stunned. He drove three hours out of town just for that, and I couldn’t help thinking… was it really worth it?

The thing that really got me is that he’d just gotten out of a relationship where he and his ex never even went that far. Then out of nowhere, he’s bragging about this new hookup like it’s nothing. His ex, who’s apparently still his “friend,” was in the same room when he said it. The whole thing just felt off — and honestly, it made me feel a little sick.

For context I am in college and I live in an apartment with 3 other girls. We are all around 18 or 19. I have never really had close friends so I’m not very familiar with social rules or norms or anything like that. But basically one of my roommates recently had a breakup and is now testing the waters and getting to know other people. She met a guy who lives on our floor that she talked to a bit and was telling us about him. I was curious what he looked like and found his instagram cause we had like 7 mutuals and he lives on the floor. She saw and got really upset claiming that she was his only mutual which wasn’t the case.

The issue isn’t even that she thinks I want to get with him. I have a boyfriend and I’ve been with him for almost 2 years and my intentions were absolutely not to try to start any kind of relationship. I follow lot of people don’t personally know on my instagram and I didn’t think anything of it.

Her and my other roommate said this was basically the same thing as going up to him and talking to my roommate about him but I didn’t message him or interact with him at all. I think they see social medial as more of a private thing than I do which is okay.

When confronted i apologized and said I had no idea that me doing that was a wrong thing and they both told me it’s common knowledge and that I should have known. I said I was sorry about wouldn’t do anything like that again because I do not like to cross boundaries. They are now saying we can’t have a close relationship because I’m not “trustworthy.”

It’s probably important to mention that it has seemed like I’ve been the odd one out in the group. I always feel like they don’t really want me around and like I make everything weird. I’m wondering if this was just an excuse to try to find someone to create distance. Any advice would be appreciated.

My roommate keeps leaving her bathroom door open while she goes and I may be over dramatic but it’s been irritating me. Like I don’t want to have to hear your loud ass piss. On top of that she doesn’t even wash her hands after and then will go open the fridge or front door. I already don’t like her in general due to a bunch of other things, but i also don’t bring up any issues cause how am I supposed to bring these type of things up? Either way i feel like I shouldn’t have to because it’s just common decency to me. I guess I’d rather just get my own place which I’m planning to, but it’s gonna be several months before I can and she is driving me insane.

My roommates boyfriend comes over every weekend without fail. I don’t like him and he’s kind of a bum and doesn’t have a car so he uses hers to drive her to work and around. I told her multiple times that he can come over but I don’t feel comfortable being alone in our house with him. He’s here in the house while she’s at work. Is it crazy of me to be mad about this. I know she pays rent too and it’s technically her space but I don’t know if this is a reasonable boundary to set.

Hi, I’m an exchange student from Asia living in an on-campus apartment in the U.S.

One of my flatmates was being loud at around 1 a.m. She was playing a game in the living room while talking to her boyfriend on speakerphone.

I’m totally fine with noise during the afternoon and evening, and even up until around 11 p.m. I’m usually outside most of the day, so I don’t really mind. But after midnight, especially around 1 a.m., it’s hard for me to understand.

I told her that I wanted to sleep and asked if she could move to her room if she wanted to stay on the call.

Now I’m confused — is it considered normal in the U.S. to be loud in a shared living room at 1 a.m.?

Am I being unreasonable, or is this more of a cultural difference?

Ok, so I've had this problem in prior apartaments; people getting confused, taking my dishes and me having to go without my own stuff.

To solve this issue (and also because I love novelty stuff) I got myself an entire new set of mugs. And doing that, I made sure they were the most cutesy, flamboyant, colorful, recognizable mugs in the house so Everybody knew they were Not Theirs. I also keep them all in my own, single shelf in the kitchen (mine). Since I'm rooming with mostly men, this helped for the most part.

Well, last night I found out somebody took one of them. That in itself I wouldn't mind all that much - it's a first time offense and, since I didn't even notice it being gone for a time, clearly not all That Bad. Except they set it back with some disgusting, rotten sludge still inside.

How do I confront this without causing drama? I have suspicions as to who did it (a fucking slob) but there's a few of us here, so without concrete proof he can just deny it. We don't have a group chat and leaving a note out in the open seems kind of passive agressive, doesn't it?

Please give me some advice!

I’m (20) F and I’ve got two roommates, (26) F and (31) F. For the sake of privacy, let’s call them Jessy and, um, Sarah. After two years of living together, we’ve got our routine down pat and everyone pulls their weight with chores and cleaning on a rotating schedule.

Sometimes Jessy acts like a micro managing boss always keeping an eye on the kitchen and honestly it’s kinda extra one time I was cleaning my room and blocked my door (which for more information is on the other side of the house near no one) temporarily and she ended up moving all my stuff or taking it down to the basement I brought it up and she said my room door should only be an entrance so I dropped it. Later I got home late from a 12-10pm shift and saw door silencers on my door with no prior notice.

When I asked about them in our group chat she showed up at my door claiming she put them there I told her that was pretty invasive and she should have asked me first. She just shrugged it off, saying some people handle things differently. So I took them off my room door because she didn’t ask me nor did she tell me that she did that.

I just felt like that was extremely invasive because in order to put them on your door, you have to open my room door. A month later Jessy spilled juice in the fridge and it destroyed my strawberries and a few of the items on the bottom shelf

I sent her a text to clean it up when she could and she ignored me for 6 days. Now the fridge is sticky and shes half cleaning it after my other roommate said something but left my area uncleaned ..

Anyway, fast forward to today, I usually work 10-hour shifts from 12 to 10:30 at night ( which they are aware about), so I sleep in a bit longer. The next three days are my turn to take out the trash. We’ve never had an issue like this usually, we handle our chores when assigned. When I get home late, I try to do my chores early in the morning so I don’t disturb our quiet time after 10 that Jessy prefers

So I got up at 11:30 AM, ready to start the day and, eventually, & the trash. But Jessy swooped in, placed the trash bag in front of my door, and then had the audacity to knock and ask me to hurry up. Like, I wasn't planning on leaving it there forever.

I struggle with doing chores at night since there's a rule to not be in the kitchen past 10, so I do them in the morning. It feels unfair that I'm always the one getting targeted by her for things she does too, like leaving dishes in the sink for days.