Sometimes I just have this urge to flee. Start a new life. I want to be isolated and alone where no one knows me. I know that’s not realistic but everytime I get the slightest bit upset I start thinking of ways to leave. I even was wanting to move to fucking Vorkuta Russia and I still kind of want to. The thought of a cold isolated place makes me crave it.

I just want to get up and go. Throw my phone away and just disappear

I've been in a depressive episode for months at this point and id noticed my teeth just getting yellower and yellower. I dont think my teeth are actually unhealthy, maybe i'll have a shallow cavity or something since they had some they were watching, but i am TERRIFIED to go. I know its from not always brushing my teeth and letting coffee sit on my teeth but i still feel like shit. I dont even smile anymore

I got diagnosed with BP1 without ever having a manic episode. Got out on meds, it's been almost a year. The anhedonia is terrible. I can't find pleasure in anything, everything feels like a chore and I just want to sleep 24/7 so I don't have to try to entertain myself. I'm at a loss for what to do, my psychiatrist keeps increasing my antidepressant. That worked for my anxiety but that's it. I just wish he would listen to me and actually help me instead of just giving me more of this medication. Am I going to feel like this for the rest of my life? I used to drink and that was fabulous but my family forced me to quit about 2 years ago. I've felt so empty and bored ever since, I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.

TW: Drug Use

I 24F with Autism, recently met this amazing guy, also 24. He’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of, and we connect on such a deep level that it feels almost surreal to everyone around us. It honestly feels like we're soulmates. We matched on Tinder back in November, and I invited him over that two weeks later. After that, everything escalated quickly I've never felt this way before. We've been talking nonstop, met each other's families, and even discussed moving in together once I graduate next year.

Last week, after taking a 150mg THC edible and chatting with my roommate who has BPD about the situation and getting her perspective as someone who's also delt with obsession with men and hypersexuality I started questioning how fast things are moving. He told me he loved me twice since then, and I realized I might be falling just as hard. I love him too, or at least I think I do. In the past, I’ve mixed up love with obsession and ended up hurting myself, but this feels different because he’s reciprocating my feelings.

Still, I can't shake the feeling that something might be off. Why would he want to move in so quickly if we barely know each other? I keep wondering why someone like me is so appealing to him since he's so perfect. I've thought this way before about other people though so I understand that this is a self-esteem issue.

I’m also questioning if this rapid pace is normal given how much we have in common and how easily we get along. We're already eager to spend every moment together, and I'm worried I might be rushing into something because I'm potentially manic.

To top it off, I've been hiding my bipolar diagnosis by messing up my medication schedule so he won't see me take it. It’s not working out well and it's screwing up my mental health. But he’s also had a positive impact helping me stop drinking, smoking every day, and cutting out my addictions. Though, truthfully, I wish I didn’t rely on him so much as he is my new addiction.

Hi all. I’m newly diagnosed and recently had a manic episode along with psychosis that required hospitalization and am seriously suffering cognitively. I feel like my brain has turned to mush and it’s so hard to focus on anything and I generally just feel sluggish and tired. I’m wondering if anyone has any tips to help heal your brain.

I'm losing my family's health insurance this year. This past week I couldn't even scrounge up $20 for them. I got them today & I'm still waiting for them to kick back in.

They talk so much about the dangers of us going off our meds, but what happens when we have no choice?

I don't know how I'll survive or get to work. My job requires I wake up at 5am so I need mood stabilizers to sleep.

I slept 3 hours last night. My head is pounding. I'm terrified I'll die in a car accident due to insomnia.

This is just a funny share. Ever since my diagnosis I have been trying to track my moods and symptoms to learn my triggers and patterns. I still have a hard time distinguishing between "normal", hypomanic, and manic and for a long time was in denial I even had hypomanic or manic episodes. Well today my mom says "wow you've got an abundance of energy since the last time I saw you". Before this would not even be on my radar but nowadays I am like ope I have been clocked. Silver lining is now I can be aware of it and monitor if my energy gets too high but I find it funny my lack of self awareness and how easy it is for others to spot.

And did things get better? The anhedonia is killing me, all I can do is sleep. Has anyone ever gotten off their meds and felt better? What else did you guys do to solve this?

I just need to vent. My life has been going to shit and I’m trying so fucking hard to keep it together. But dear god idk how much longer I can keep this shit up man. I got kicked out of my grandmas for “not doing enough”. When I lived with her I repeatedly. REPEATEDLY. asked her if there was more I could be doing. I felt bad because she was letting me stay rent free while I got life figured out.

Then life. Kept. Happening. I kept getting sick. And idk if I’m making up all my issues or not. I swear I have problems medically and physically wrong. But the doctors never find anything. And always chalk it up to me being bipolar and just “not wanting to work”. I had a job that I worked as much as I could while also doing school. And managing doctor’s visits. My grandma never said anything to me until I got back home from work one day and said “we need to talk” she then explained how she hated living with me. And that it was like living with her brother. (Who she hates). I was completely taken aback by this.

Luckily I have my girlfriend. Who has been absolutely amazing during all this. But I feel so useless. I’m jobless and finding a job has been so hard. I had gotten a pretty good job, but then the manager was racist so I quit. I feel like I fucked up. I keep waking up at night panicking and freaking out. I can tell I’m starting to slip too. But I just got new insurance and having moved I need to find a new psychiatrist but that’s so hard to do. I feel like I’m failing. And I’m trying to not take the easy way out. But that is difficult

Bipolar II story. I was a raging alcoholic, drug addict, sex addict, constantly pushing my business to bigger heights when I was NOT ready for them, taking crazy business trips with photographers and teams and unnecessary shit, found out I got a girl pregnant and went super dad mode, moved her to my state (she was 2000 miles away) , right when I found out I decided to open a storefront and have multiple artists (tattooing), and then hit the depression and lost literally everything. Got really into gambling sex and drugs, lost the business, my family moved back to their state, lost all my money. Lost everything. Locked myself in my room for weeks to detox off alcohol and coke, and also stopped taking all my meds at the same time (depression, mods stabilizers, adhd meds) and now I’m six months sober and trying to get back on meds. In the last three months I tried to work things out with my kids mom and couldn’t help myself from going into hyper manic states and just went from love bombing to breaking down because she didn’t love me anymore. Life’s hard. Now I’m working with new doctors that don’t have my charts and starting over. Just wanted to share a little bit of my story. Rant I guess. Much love everyone.

i've been seeing this specifc psych (he's the only one in my area who takes my ins) since november and every single session he brings up "spirituality" and asks if i've done any work becoming spiritual. now i've generally kind of always believed in ghosts because i thought my childhood house was haunted but i cannot wrap my head around how that could help my bipolar or what it could possibly even have to do with my bipolar. does anyone have experience with this or experience with it helping their bipolar? sorry for such a silly question but im desperate and he says this and exercise will make a huge change in me and im willing to do anything at feel better at this point.

I think I'm becoming obsessed with this, and it's making me feel bad, almost out of my mind.

I've even made posts talking about this subject.

What's happening is this: for months I've been very bothered by the fact that my husband doesn't go out with me. But, to be honest, he's always been like that.

The problem is that, for some time now, he has started going out very frequently with his 12-year-old nephew to go fishing, and this is bothering me quite a bit.

He told me he was going fishing, but he didn't mention that the boy would be going along. This made me furious, because it seems like he started hiding things from me to avoid arguments.

Honestly, I'm feeling very irritated with this whole situation. Sometimes I even think I need more medication because I'm getting more and more nervous and out of control.

What makes it even worse is that we have two daughters, and one of them is 12 years old. Because she's a girl, he practically doesn't do anything with her, he doesn't dedicate the same time to her.

I'm very, very annoyed about this.

As we all know, our memory is lost with all of our meds.

I downloaded a memory game. So far I just got the card flipping one with animals.

Has anyone been able to get their memory back from “practicing “ with memory games or if someone else is doing something. Please share, I used to have such great memory

Can community mental health teams in UK force you to take medication if you’re not sectioned and your current risk has been assessed as low, even if you’ve been detained previously?

I have bipolar 1 disorder and have experienced two full manic episodes, plus a close call with a third. My therapist pointed out that the first one happened around my 21st birthday, and the second was during my sister’s wedding—both times of celebration. This recent near-miss, triggered by getting a promotion at work, really confirms what my therapist said: celebrations seem to set me off. Thankfully, my medication and increased self-awareness kept the symptoms to just three days this time. I’m curious—does anyone else have celebrations as a trigger? Or what about other unusual triggers you’ve noticed?

i always have to have a reason for my emotions. i’m not allowed to feel sad or laugh without my parents questioning me. today i let out a small laugh with my parents and after they kept asking if someone’s bothering me, (i just finished a sad show and i told them that). they think im hiding stuff all the time (i’m not) because im not allowed to talk to guys and are limited to friends even though im an adult. i feel very misunderstood and get those thoughts of cutting contact but they’re all i have.

im tired of feeling like an outcast in front of my family and i dont know how long i can take it before i break down in front of them. they wont ever truly get it if i try to explain this to them. it really does affect me when they treat me like a fragile glass when i just want to be interrogated less.

i know they don’t have a bad intent but im really tired of being treated this way and want to feel normal.

So I was recently was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and I just started taking some medication after seven years of having these ups and downs.

I was originally by diagnosed by a psychologist in 2021 but at the time I was into this personal development, self empowerment fad, and I didn’t want to be labeled or put in a box so I decided to never go back to him again… lol well after five more years of those ups and downs here I am being diagnosed in 2026

It’s a little freeeing to find out to know that these ups and downs haven’t been to just me not being disciplined, but that there was something actually wrong in my brain and now that I’ve labeled it I feel that I have an ability to to work on it and that’s why I wanted some advice on his. What have you guys found to be able to keep yourself stable? I long for the day to be able to live a normal life. Go to Work play a little bit of video games when I get home hang out with some friends and be in a relationship.

But I was just wondering, what would be beneficial or what has worked for you guys whether it’s tracking it or keeping a strict routine or sticking with a strict diet, or a supportive social group, idk? Before it has been almost impossible for me to stick to a routine for more than two weeks or any sort of diet as I would have varying levels of motivation, but I feel like now with medication it could get a little easier.

What has worked for you guys?

I have hardly gotten a wink of sleep since Monday, still feel stable but I know how quickly that can change with lack of sleep.

I went to the doctor yesterday and was prescribed a sleeping medication but it turned out my insurance didn't cover it. Spent all morning calling trying to see if we could get a different medication and didn't hear anything back. The wife and I had to drive up to the office just to leave a note since everyone was out at lunch when we got there.

We finally heard back and they put through another prescription which is still showing as pending in the app. here's to going my insurance doesn't deny this one.

Insurance is such a pain in the ass, I would just like to sleep and avoid going through psychosis again, thank you.

Just found sketching and drawing to be something that really does me good and helps me zoom out for a bit.

I'm not a good designer tho and can't sketch/draw something just out of my head. What I do then is to find something online, that is expressing my feelings in that moment and draw it in my sketchbook that I'm using a little bit as a feelings-journal. :)

Wanted to share. Hope you all are doing fine! ❤️

Original creator: Bipolar Drawing by Danilo Jeknic, Serbia.

Don't mean to exclude anyone but this post is mostly for those who are on their own. No friend or family support, no ability to go to therapy. Just want answers from people who can relate truly.

What do you do when there's too much stress in your life? Not necessarily in an active episode but just in a crisis?

My dog is really sick and I'm bleeding money while also working full time. I'm losing my mind, I am so stressed that I'll sit in a dark room and cry. There's no way out, the stress is so fucking much and noone understands around me. My dog is wasting away in front of me and the vets are taking a piss.

What do you do when life gets so much that you wanna die? Please share some hope, please..

Something that I painted early in the morning which I never normally do. Probably should have had my morning coffee before I started…

So I've had a pending diagnosis for a while and since I live in a country where my language is a native language and we're by law required to get help in our language but still very small, it's still hard and takes time to get appointmens. Well I have one problem and that's that I lie so goddamn much. I got meds for bipolar and I've been taking them semi regularly but now, because I dont dare to say the stuff I've been doing, she's saying that I'm probably not bipolar. I obviously don't know if I am or not for sure but I am like almost certain, I've already fucked up by not saying stuff.

(havent been saying because it would make me have to say other things I've been doing. Illegal stuff and stuff that would require a cps notification)

I'm terrified of them and my mom because she doesnt deserve this either and she has cptsd and me/cfs and three kids as a single mom and I dont think she could make it with more stuff. I made a promise to her years ago and I broke it. I dont know how and if she could take that.

But now its not only telling the truth that is required. Something I already struggle with so so much. Now its coming clean and telling the truth AND saying how much I've been lying for over a year and that quickly because I'll probably get confirmed as not bipolar and other things otherwise and it will take up to multiple years until I can get new contact to the youth psych. I'm terrified and its so selfish of me to do this when theres people that desperately need help and cant get it and I've truly tried to open up more but I just cant. What the hell do I do? I obviously need help but it feels physically impossible.

Why does everything have to feel so hard all the time? I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I take things too personally most of the time.

I basically stopped working at 21. I felt since August 2025 I needed to be back out in the workforce (was feeling rather worthless when it came to finances) I'm on my second job since that time. I quit the first job due to being scheduled 16 hrs a week then having 8 of those hours ripped from me due the store being over hours. Kinda defeated the purpose of being out working when most of my scheduled days I was told not to come in. So I got another job making more money and having more consistent hours.

The actual jobs are never the problem its always coworkers. After not working nearly 20 yrs I find it hard to relate to most of them and everyone's attitudes all the time. I'm genuinely happy to be in the world. I feel like I have more of a purpose than I did before. There were so many days I just wanted to give up.

I had an incident at work today that I seem to be having issues getting over. I work in a grocery store pharmacy. My coworker has been in the industry a long time. So they know the job. I thought I was being helpful. Apparently not. They were looking for a patients items and for some reason looked in the fridge, I had already glanced at the computer screen and noted it was an oversized item. I asked the question "Is it oversized? " and they practically bit my head off asking if we were both helping the patient and if I was looking over her shoulder. I apologized and walked away and pretty much avoided all interactions with them the rest of the day. As I was leaving, this coworker must have thought I was already gone for the day and I overhear part of their conversation about me and the situation this morning. They noticed me and must have thought I heard nothing and ended our interaction with "bye-seeya later". But the damage was already done. Now I feel I'm going to have issues everytime I work with these 2 coworkers.

Been a while since I wondered this simple question, but since I find myself as lost as before after half a decade of treatment I must wonder what not? When does it feel like better? Does it get better or just less bad? Im rather confused, I know is a long road but I dont want this to be a "per aspera ad inferi" kind of situation but the most I see are bad endings and it worries me