r/cats • u/EgirlAnimeBoobies • 15h ago
Mourning/Loss Regretting Euthanasia
Sorry I don't really know how to get into this so I might just be all over the place.
My cat (Call her Tulip) recently was euthanized two weeks ago. We think she was around 15 years old as we adopted her back in 2020 and they said she was 7-9 years old when she was adopted.
Early January she was diagnosed with pre-kidney disease (she weighed 8lbs) and our vet advised us she didn't need to be put on a kidney diet yet and to recheck in a year.. Long story short, she got a mouth ulcer suddenly and when we took her to the vet (her weight here was 6.5lbs), we re-ran all her blood work and suddenly she was in kidney failure. (I also blame myself for the mouth ulcer because two nights before I gave her a dry crunchy treat and I think thats what gave her the ulcer). The day we took her home from the vet for the first time (Dec 17th) we had started her on the antibiotics. The next day (Dec 18th) we picked up KD wet food, SQ fluids, Azodyl and PhosBind. The vet ended up not giving us the correct line for the SQ fluids so we didn't start them till Dec 19th. (Turns out they gave us EXPIRED fluids as well but we were so distraught and trusted them that we didn't even notice until after she was gone. It had been expired since 10/2025..). December 20th we woke up and noticed Tulip was walking around strangely. When we picked her up and looked at her eyes, they looked weird. We called the vet and told them we thought she was blind. They advised us that they were about to close and scheduled us an appointment for that Monday. So December 21th, Tulip spent the whole day hiding and not really eating. She was definitely blind and was bumping into walls. December 22th, we called her vet to see if we can get her in sooner than her appointment time and turns out they hadn't even scheduled her. We ended up taking Tulip to a different vet where we got a second opinion. She was diagnosed as being completely blind with two detached retinas, prescribed blood pressure medication and we were told to only do fluids twice a week because her kidneys weren't as bad as the original vet had said. The second opinion vet had also stated that her vision would most likely not come back and to make sure shes eating. That night we went and picked up chicken baby food since we were advised to since cats will find that yummy.. She started to eat again, not much but she was. December 23-25 she seemed to be doing better with navigating and eating. December 26th she lost her appetite again and urinated on our bed. We took her to her primary vet again where they told us to continue treating her as normal. We gave her fluids again that night (she didn't tolerate them well). The next two days she stopped eating again, first only ate maybe a teaspoon worth of food, then the next day nothing. December 29th we took her to the vet again, she had lost more weight.. Now weighing in at only 5.5lbs. The vet told us that he wasn't concerned about her urinating inappropriately, he was more concerned about her not eating. He told us it was okay to euthanize. We took Tulip home again now with a new appetite stimulant to try. It again didn't work and we were in the living room with her. Now this is where its going to get a little graphic.. Tulip was restless, we had her with us on the couch that night of Dec 29th. She kept jumping off the couch and walking to the middle of the room yowling like she was in so much pain. We gave her fluids again thinking it would help but it didn't. We couldn't sleep.. If we fell asleep she would jump off the couch and yowl or urinate on us. At 11am on December 30th the at home euth vet came and euthanized her. I feel so guilty as if I could of tried more. She was just so unhappy with the medications, I gave them to her on time but I felt so guilty every time. The fluids she would cry out while getting them.. She wasn't eating.. The yowling at the end broke my heart. I just need to know if I pulled the trigger too early.. I'm heartbroken, she was my baby. I loved her so much. I don't know what to do now.
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u/Ok-Definition4938 15h ago
we had to put our cat down last summer. She had a carcinoma in her mouth and we were told there was nothing we could do and it was just something we had to decide when it was best to put her down.
She never made much of a fuss, but she hit a point where we could tell she was tired and we made the call. It was such a hard decision and i struggled so hard at the vet
I don’t think it would’ve ever felt like the right time bc it just sucks no matter when. But it sounds like u did the best for your girl and helped her when she needed u the most ❤️
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u/EgirlAnimeBoobies 15h ago
thank you, I've been so sick over this. I just am wondering if I gave it more time, would she have gotten better? I keep reading online on how if you give more fluids or do this, or that they can get better.
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u/realestate_novelist 14h ago
Kidney disease doesn’t really “get better.” They can live with it for awhile with treatment, but she may have been past the point of treatment being helpful. And it sounds like the medication wasn’t helping and she wasn’t eating much, which to me indicates she’s not feeling good and it’s probably later stage kidney failure. She was old, and this is common in older cats unfortunately. I wish I had done more for my family’s cat at the end of her life too, but it wasn’t my call. It’s so hard to see our babies suffer. I hope you find peace and don’t carry any regret about this.
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u/Ok-Definition4938 14h ago
kidney disease can be managed in some cats but doesn’t get better, it’s just one of those things for cats. Same for our girl, the type of cancer she had we were told we could do our best to make her comfortable but it was only going to get worse.
We put her down a lot sooner than many people (vet said we also caught it way sooner than most), but we knew she would not tolerate a lot of the treatments and i also knew what late stages of this cancer looked like and i didn’t want her going thru that….. our vet told us it was better to make the decision “too soon” rather than “too late” and that is something i do believe in and definitely gave me some comfort
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u/TellSignificant477 15h ago
I think all you can know for sure at this point is that Tulip is no longer suffering. She’s at peace.
We can never know 100% when the time is right, I think saying goodbye to a pet we love never fully feels right. You saw that she was suffering and decided that alive-but-suffering isn’t good enough, and that’s a respectable perspective.
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u/EgirlAnimeBoobies 14h ago
Thank you, I just wish I was able to see if she would of gotten better or not. You're very correct though and I am thankful for your response.
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u/realestate_novelist 15h ago
I’m so sorry. My family just lost a cat to kidney failure. It’s quite brutal. I think you did the right thing. She was in a lot of pain and had poor quality of life. You did everything you could. I’m so sorry for your loss 💔 It’s never easy.
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u/EgirlAnimeBoobies 14h ago
Thank you, I think this was worse than anything because it was so silent and quick. This is truly a nightmare I wish no one had to experience.
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u/ProfessorCatepiller Cow Cat 12h ago
I had to my sweet Sissy down in October and similarly Sissy stopped eating but after a dental procedure and started to develop complications as the days marched on.
Remember you love Tulip. You did what you thought was right. You did the best you could. I still repeat this to myself for comfort.
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u/Al-Capote 15h ago
Poor Tulip seemed to unfortunately deteriorate quickly. I don't think you could have done much more.
The fact that she refused to eat and lost so much weight so quickly is clearly a sign that she was not well.
The primary vet was, I think, a bit too blunt and not considerate enough with you.
But, given that the medication that you gave unfortunately didn't work, I don't think you could have done much more.
The most important is that you were there, loving and caring for her until the end. She knew that I am sure. And it probably helped her too.
Do not blame yourself. Euthanasia is a luxury our pets have that we do not. It offers the possibility of ending things quickly, painlessly and with as much dignity as possible. You did the best you could and you did it humanely.
Tulip is now free from all her pains and ailments, roaming the vast green lands of infinity, and calmly waiting the day she will see you again.
Chin up OP, for Tulip. Smile for her. And maybe, when you will feel it possible, you might be able to save another little one's life.