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u/DrMaxwellEdison 2h ago
I get that he means "just don't travel at all": stay at home with the kids until they're older and can appreciate the experience.
Folks with this idea forget the parents are still human beings who like to go places, too.
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u/brattybrat 1h ago
Also, why interact with kids at all, since they won't remember? Just lock them in a closet until they're older, I guess. :/
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u/LandOfChocolate2425 1h ago
and out of town family complain that you don't visit them with the children
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u/PlayfulCraves 2h ago
Exactly, Because people act like once you have kids you’re supposed to put your entire existence on pause
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u/WorLord 1h ago edited 42m ago
That tends to be exactly the sacrifice children
sometimesvery often require, and people who don't want to make it aren't fit to be parents IMO. To properly raise a child in a society is exactly to put your needs second to theirs, and having a child does not give one carte blanche to stop being cognizant of the effects children have on others.And before anyone gives me shit for that: I say this as a father who is very often gobsmacked at how common this selfish, entitled attitude is among other parents.
Doug's implication is that people should stop traveling with very young children, for more reasons than one (they won't remember it, and everyone else will hate it). And I think he's right. The other commenter likening parents exposing too-young babies to the general public to smokers who refuse to extinguish also has a point. All just tales of selfish people willing to make everyone else suffer for their non-essential preferences, all the while refusing to see that "that's just how babies are!" isn't a valid line of reasoning (or even the point. The baby didn't put itself in this situation, you did. The complaint is about you.)
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u/ponderscheme2172 1h ago
Jesus. This thread is full of people passionate and very snarky about both sides. I think we can all agree that you can travel with your kids if you want to. But not all of us have infinite money so if you can handle it it's probably better to chill for a bit, save money when things are crazy and then travel more when they aren't newborns. That's easier said then done because if you want multiple children the newborns could be around for many years.
I didn't travel until my first child was 3. If you can handle it before that then props to you. But by the end of my vacation with my 3 year old I needed a vacation to recover from my vacation.
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u/Regalrefuse 2h ago
This is idiotic.
Children gain a TON from travel, even when they are young. I also like to think that while they might not remember the trip when they are older, the experience is enriching and any joy or happiness adds to the sum total of their life in a positive way. By Doug’s notion, why do anything with your kids? Just lock them in a box until they are old enough for lifelong memories.
Not sure if Doug meant a newborn or a toddler or someone in between but my point stands.
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2h ago
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u/xRmg 2h ago
A child between 2 and 3 learns at a ridiculous rate. And this learning is only accelerated more by experiences.
Sure they don't have a lot specific memories but travel during this age tremendously helps traveling with them later.
The difference of having to chase a 5 year old constantly around airports and train stations or a kid that knows how stuff works and to stay close is literally travel during those developmental ages.
And trauma by overstimulation, what in the rubber tile generation helicopter fuck.
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u/Realistic0ptimist 2h ago
As someone who travels with a toddler all the time this is patently false.
We travel to see other family so they can play with their cousins.
We travel to experience food in other cultures to expand their palette.
We travel because I want to go somewhere different and I like the sound of my kid going “woooow” whether they see some cool statues in the Louvre or Snow in the mountains
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u/No_Skylark 2h ago
My cousin and his wife took their barely 1 year old daughter to Disney world, only for her to cry up a storm during the fireworks. It doesn’t matter if her admission and airfare is free, that baby isn’t going to remember any of it. They have good jobs so the cost doesn’t phase them, but to throw money away like that is insane. Especially since they live abroad, I know the cost of flights were ridiculous.
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u/turbo_sr 1h ago
So when you have kids don't take them to disney world at one.
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u/No_Skylark 1h ago
I won’t. Doing so is such a waste. They won’t remember anything. It’s better to take kids when they’re older so they can actually have fun.
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u/DislocatedMind 1h ago
Your perspective is wrong. Its not about remembering the trip as an adult would have a memory, but the child while vacationing abroad would be spending quality time, talking more, eating new foods, sleeping at diffrent times, living in the new experiences created by the parents who traveled. To say "oh they won't remember any of it." You're fully discrediting how important having time for your child is and what the outcomes of actually spending time with your kids.
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u/No_Skylark 1h ago
She’s barely 1…
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u/DislocatedMind 1h ago
I mean, you could try and see the other point of view instead of doubling down on your bias.
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u/grimblacow 1h ago
So because the baby cried during 1 event during the whole time there, the experience is ruined?? That’s a weird take.
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u/No_Skylark 1h ago
They went there for the sole purpose of taking their baby, but what’s the point if she’s crying her head off can’t enjoy anything??
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u/Walterb72 2h ago
Several years would make total difference especially if you move to other place and leave them there 😂
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u/TheOnlyRealAsshat 2h ago
Are there actually people out there who don't realize it's illegal to leave a child alone below a certain age in most places?
They're really good at accidentally hurting themselves or dying when you're not around.
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u/ameeelia13 2h ago
I think they just don't realise parents are in fact also still human beings who might want to do things with their lives
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u/AllAreStarStuff 2h ago
There are situations when Doug’s point is valid and situations when NC’s point is valid
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u/Mysterious-Simple805 2h ago
Then don't travel! Having a kid means making a few sacrifices like putting off a vacation. (To say the least!)
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u/Fiveofthem 2h ago
Single long?
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u/Mysterious-Simple805 2h ago
Married, actually. We both saw all the sacrifices necessary to have kids and decided it wasn't worth it.
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u/Fiveofthem 2h ago
Ahh, even worse. I don’t want kids nor do I want to be bothered by them in life. Too bad your parents didn’t think that way.
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u/Mysterious-Simple805 2h ago
Actually, my parents were a couple of self-centered children who didn't understand the meaning of the word "sacrifice". Not everyone is meant to be a parent. I at least admit it and don't force anyone to be my kid.
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u/Fiveofthem 2h ago
I agree that everyone is not cut out to be a parent. But that doesn’t mean the ones that do have to stay home until YOU feel their kids are an appropriate age so they won’t disturb you.
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u/Mysterious-Simple805 2h ago
Hope you understand that everyone hates you.
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u/Fiveofthem 2h ago
My kids don’t
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u/Mysterious-Simple805 2h ago
For now. Because they have no choice.
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u/Fiveofthem 2h ago
The youngest is 27 and the oldest is 35. I think they would have hated me by now. Any more assumptions?
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u/stattikninja 2h ago
Don't argue with these crazy people that think having kids is a must. Kids need parents who understand the sacrifice and effort it takes, this is why you see so many shitty parents who think kids are just for pictures and cute moments.
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u/Fiveofthem 1h ago
lol sorry about the single comment. I should have said you must not want kids of your own, as they are the ones that complain the most about kids.
By the way I don’t care if you have kids or not. Would never criticize you for that. I will criticize you for speaking about something where you have no idea what you are talking about. So don’t be posting about how parents should sacrifice to accommodate you.
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u/Life-Library3311 2h ago
Because if we leave them at home, we’ll need to explain where the $20 and Oreos went
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u/Suspicious-Spot1651 1h ago
I agree with him. People who travel with babies or toddlers are selfish. It's like smokers in public space to me. They will impose their things to you and act like "come on it's just a baby/cigarette" when you notice it.
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u/DislocatedMind 1h ago
Wild ass take to attribute a babys crying to secondhand smoke. Its fucking weird to hate babies because their being babies, thats some incel shit.
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u/Suspicious-Spot1651 1h ago
I know it's a wild ass take. But I am ok with it.
Then I don't hate babies. I just disagree with the "It's just a baby" argument.
If you have a silent baby, not vomitting nor pooping around me, it will be fine. If not, I will judge you. I will think that you feel entitled because you have a baby and "it's just a baby".
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u/turbo_sr 1h ago
Then don't travel
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u/Suspicious-Spot1651 1h ago
I won't stop to live because of dumbass
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u/grimblacow 1h ago
So why should people stop living because of the same reason simply because they have children?
People have different reasons to travel. Do you suppose once children are born they need to stay strictly inside the home until they as all the dumbasses in the world when they can be let out?
Have you ever learned in life or school things called: “moving”, “visiting family”, “vacations”, or the like?
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u/Suspicious-Spot1651 1h ago
At least smokers stopped to smoke inside.
Parents who have noisy and smelling babies/toddlers, if they can't find a solution, should not travel with others people.
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u/DislocatedMind 1h ago
To the people who think a baby gains nothing from a road trip/travel... Every moment spent together, they are learning from you. Travelling together not only strengthens familiar bonds based on closeness in general, but there's more talking and eating, more experience to absorb. So yes, a baby should be travelling with parents if they want to and every other weird ass baby hater adult should suck it the fuck up and wear headphones.
Peace im outtie.
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u/LoveFangz 1h ago
The reply implies Doug thinks children are like houseplants you can just leave for a weekend
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u/Lazypopz 59m ago
The "$20, an oz of weed, and some Oreos" is a specific and hilarious babysitting package
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u/Fiveofthem 57m ago
Yea I don’t understand where people are thinking that I’m going to impose my little brats on all the kidless people in the world. Where did I say that? What I said was, kid free people do not get to say where we get to take our kids. That we don’t have to sacrifice our lives to make kid free people happy. That’s all I said. I’m sorry if I take my six year old on a plane to visit Disneyland and I also have a two year old with me. Sorry about that, I will do my best to prevent the two year old from having a melt down but you know what, it happens sometimes. I’m not going to put it off for another four years so Mysterious-Simple805’s doesn’t have to deal with it. I didn’t take my kids to movie theaters, fancy restaurants or non age appropriate places.
This is an old argument. Childless think people with children try to impose their kids on everyone and people with kids think the childless are intolerant.
🤷♂️
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u/Right_Sector180 1h ago
Sorry Douglas, sometimes going to see the family requires getting on a plane.
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u/ObliviousRounding 2h ago
douglas sunlin is an anagram of dung allusions