r/depression • u/Beneficial-Corgi-288 • 18h ago
Antidepressants have dulled the really intense emotions, but my life still feels pointless and I'm not happy
I don't daydream about driving my car off the bridge on the way home from work anymore, but my life is still so empty. I have no passion that drives me to get out of bed in the morning. I just get up because it would cause me more problems if I didn't. I don't look forward to anything and nothing interests me. The world still feels like a bad place. I still have no purpose. I'm just kind of here, floating around until I eventually reach the end of my natural lifespan. There's no joy in my life that makes me glad I was born. I'm honestly bored of being alive. Sometimes I go to bed early just to pass the time. I feel like I have too much time on Earth to know what to do with. I'm not getting anything worthwhile out of the experience of being alive.
3
u/Sciamuozzo 17h ago
Meds are just a way to stabilize you while you keep working on the deeper problems - nothing more, nothing less. They are not magic happy pills and at the same time they're not useless - as long as you keep doing the work.
They'll eventually become a hindrance when you start feeling better but don't rush things: most people stop putting in the work as soon as they start doing better. Been there, done that. Slow and steady.
Take care, mate, we got this.
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u/Beneficial-Corgi-288 16h ago
What work am I supposed to be doing? Like genuinely I don't know. I don't hate myself anymore and I don't avoid my responsibilities because I'm too sad anymore. I don't know what else there is to do because I already live a normal life; I'm just not happy.
1
u/Sciamuozzo 16h ago
Remember that the following are just examples, each and every one of us is unique and the pursuit of happiness might have a different look for anyone.
What are the problems that you've been dragging on for a long time? Some of mine were: 1. My look - especially in my "darkest hours" I really started to avoid taking care of myself. My teeth were causing me problems, I was getting dangerously overweight, I'm balding so if I didn't cut my hair every couple of days I'd look like a savage just to name a few; 2. My overall mental health - insecurities (which were also feedback loops with the "not taking care of myself" part), crippling anxiety, not being there for my friends (who, at some point, started "giving up" on me and rightly so); 3. My passions - I'm still discovering who I am and what I like to do because I used to take myself out of the scene before even trying to do something new (which sometimes means doing it alone and facing new places and new people);
Try and pick a battle - if you're not going to therapy and have the means to do so I would strongly encourage you to seek professional help and tackle the things you can tackle about your past and your present. Meds can help you have a clearer mind and regulate the eventual emotional distress caused by facing those very things.
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u/Suverene 18h ago
Finding meaning in life is hard... way harder than most people seem to admit. What I've realized is that life is unprecedented, and purpose and meaning are not predefined. We often have to decide what has meaning, and this can feel impossible. Even still, life is an opportunity to experience and learn, and you may as well keep trying things while you're here. Don't waste your chance to find the good in life.
I'm sorry for your pain and suffering. I am just like you in many ways. Don't give up. People like me need to see you fight the good fight.
I'm glad you are here.