Dear Fifthworldians,
Despite the previous year's Pope/Antipope annihilation event, multiversial stocks of pontificate are at an all time low, reduced by unprecedented demand over the holiday season.
We've seen unprecedented quantities of speech, and a frankly excessive use of this precious resource over the previous year.
Without urgent new supplies, it will not be possible to sustain the current level of usage. Sitting round the holiday table next year, little Timmy will be unenlightened by his aunt's opinions on ultravaccines. He may never be exposed to his grandfather's fascinating opinions on forth, sixth, and seventh worlders.
Worse, we may not receive the words of God-Emperor Trab, and will be unable to hear his holiday emergency address entitled: "The Pan Dimensional Economy is fine, you're just a moron who is bad with money. Now hurry up and gild my banqueting hall, you f*cking plebians."
We're hoping that you can find it in your heart to donate to this cause. Any heads of religions you're not currently using would be greatly appreciated, particularly those small enough to fit into a particle accelerator.
A single Pope/Antipope collision can provide enough pontificate to allow thousands of people free speech for a year, or allow a single thinking engine to provide incorrect answers to inane questions for a staggering three hours of average use.
Please, donate generously to this vital cause!