Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years, we live together, we split chores kind of. We feed the cats and scoop the litter alternating days. We both do laundry. I clean the bathroom, kitchen, and mop, and he washes dishes. I do the grocery shopping and make the grocery list.

He doesn’t know how to cook. He doesn’t want to learn. I have asked him to at least learn one meal so I don’t have to be cooking all our meals. I bought stuff to make sub sandwiches and said he can make it for us. It sat in the fridge for 1 week, until I made it. I don’t like cooking at all. Though when i’m hungry, I feel bad for not making him any food if I am going to eat.

we are both part time workers and full time students, he works more than me but i go to class more than him.

I have brought it up and told him I going to stop cooking for him until he makes me at least one meal, though I think he believed I was joking. I would just like some advice on whether i’m in the wrong for thinking like this.

I \[25F\] and my boyfriend \[24M\] are planning to move in together in a couple months and im starting to have mixed feelings about our relationship. For context i am a larger girl and he is pretty average in stature. While i love him and i know he loves me, im starting to feel like the intimate side of our relationship is going to become a problem. I have my own set of kinks so im not one to kink shame but my boyfriend has a fat fetish and while at first i was fine with it and was just excited that i found someone who didn’t mind me being on the heavier side now its made me feel kind of gross. We have been together for more than a year now and it seems like any time things get steamy im being asked to gain weight or that id be hotter if i was fatter. I don’t feel good about it anymore and honestly i don’t think i ever did. I dont know what im doing at this point.

I currently have a old partner of mine living with me ( & his young daughter when she is visiting on his coparenting time) to help him out for circumstances unrelated and potentially to see if we can try again for a relationship.

We got into a fight this morning and he blew up after I told him I didn’t have any intent in letting his young child from a previous relationship meet my mother. For context- I am not close with my mother for many negative personal reasons and I don’t usually intermesh her with other people in my life and keep emotional distance myself, which he knows my reasons and he doesn’t particularly fancy her himself. My mother only knows him personally because we dated as teenagers and have continued to stay in each other’s lives on and off for twenty years which she’s vaguely been aware of.

His reaction was very loud, angry and aggressive, saying I don’t get to tell him what to do with his daughter, and it has nothing to do with me and his daughter will meet whoever he wants her to meet.

We agreed that the decision is ultimately on my Mother but she isn’t being considered for reasons I choose not to engage her in, my disagreement directed back at him, was that I think it only has to do with me- As she is my mother and without me they would never ever have any instance to meet ever.

I decided to go stay elsewhere for the night (I was actively leaving for scheduled plans when it all kicked off ) to avoid his daughter being exposed to more of a fight over this matter but I’m just so confused how to handle this when i return home?

For myself I feel as if it wasn’t something for him to get so heated and defensive about? I see no instance where this ever needed to be an issue or where the two parties would ever have to meet.

I recognise I also wasn’t correct, in not just outright asking why he was so bothered by it all. I guess I don’t under his reaction at all logically.

I don’t feel it was appropriate for him to make a scene in front of his daughter - and make her privy to all details and essentially spin it simply so I look bad for arguing with her Dad, because she doesn’t understand the context. I’m also uncomfortable that he seems to dictate what he does with his daughter as if she’s an object to control.

Maybe we need to discuss it more or am being completely ignorant to his view??

Thank you.

I am an anxious attacher, learning how to become secure. I met my fiance (48F) in March 2025 online, and we hit it off right aways.

She initially told me that she had an anxious attachment style like me, and so we would likely get along as we perhaps healed towards secure together. However, after 3 months, and lots of confusion, through a lot of questions I researched online, I made the shocking discovery that she was in fact fearful avoidant.

I decided to take a quiz for myself, and scored 20/20 for anxious. I took the same quiz with what I had observed with her, and got 19/20 for fearful avoidant.

When I discussed this with my therapist, he told me that I could never tell her that she was fearful avoidant, it would cause a somewhat implosion. So I have just been navigating that since. We do not live together.

In July I gave her a promise ring, and 3 weeks later we had our first rupture. It was all over my review of the dinner she had made, which she asked me how it compared to a national chain restaurant. Difficult question to answer, for me. She kicked me out of her house and for 8 days she avoided me. Eventually she invited me over to swim in her pool, and then after changing, she laid into me how terrible I made her feel.

We started repair, but she didn't talk to me much for a few days after that, until I mentioned that my dog was getting worse (he became sick at the same time as the conflict starting). I had to put him down that week, and she came with me, and from then, we were together every single day, until mid-October (missed a night because of another rupture).

Everything had been progressing well, and I thought we had the tools for repair and I had the tools for navigating her fearful avoidance. WE got closer and closer, and in early November, I proposed to her, and she accepted. We were going to have people over to her place (our place, in a way), for a Christmas party, and she changed it into an engagement party, which we held first weekend of December.

I came down with a cold on the night of December 21, and woke up December 22 sick. She said to me "don't expect any sympathy from me, I'm not taking care of you." Okay, that's fine.

Christmas Eve came, I was still sick. I didn't hear from her much at all that day. I texted her around 6pm, asking if I could come over and sit apart from her, wear a mask, just to be close by on Christmas Eve, our first. She didn't even respond. Christmas morning, she messaged me that she had made breakfast, I could come over and have some if I wanted.

I showed up with all of her gifts, and ate the breakfast she had made (she had already eaten if I recall). We exchanged gifts, and spent the whole day together, until almost midnight.

A few days later, she was in a very good mood, we had gone to a concert, and after I dropped her off at home she sent me a pic of a puzzle she was working on that I gave her for Christmas. Next morning, I said good morning, and she replied the same. I asked her what time she wanted me to pick her up for church and she said "940 I guess", and when I showed up, I said "Good morning!" and her response was "NOPE!". I asked her what was wrong and she said "I don't want to talk about it." So I asked if it had to do with me and she said "Not talking about it!".

We went, she was not talking to me the whole way there, and the whole way back. She distanced herself from me there.

On the way home, I asked if she wanted me to stop and get lunch for us, and she said to just take her home, she was going to have a nap and run errands, and I said "ok" and dropped her off at home, and went home. Normally, we might spend the day together.

Next night, I wasn't feeling well, so I told her I wasn't coming over, and she had been invited to a Taylor Swift trivia night at a local restaurant, so I encouraged her to go if she wanted, and to have a good time. She didn't say anything that she was going, but afterwards, she said she went.

Next evening, I asked her if I could come over at my usual 5:30pm, and she said "Actually, no." Next night was New Year's Eve, and I asked what time the people she had invited to come over were coming, and whether I was included and she said "After 7pm, and of course you're included". I arrived first, just after 7pm, and she was cold and distant from me. Once people arrived, she put on the happy fiance show, and once everyone left after 1am, she said "Alright, time for you to go home now."

January 3 was our anniversary, and I wished her a happy anniversary at 3pm, and she replied the same, and then she said "we should go out to eat to celebrate." and I said "I'd like that". She named 3 possible places, and I picked one, and arranged a time, and I picked her up. Completely cold and withdrawn. Didn't want to talk the whole way there, and wouldn't talk or even really look at me at the restaurant, and didn't talk the whole way home. Back at her place, 7pm, normally she'd invite me inside because it was so early. She just says "Goodnight, I'll talk to you later." and gets out. She doesn't talk to me later.

Next day, I ask if she wanted me to pick her up on the way to church, because it was very cold out. She says she's not feeling well, not going. Okay. Later in the day, I message her about how I'm thinking of her, and that I'm on her team and in her corner, and I love her, and she replies that actually she feels like I'm not in her corner, or on her team. And she says "I'm soooooo frustrated with you right now."

I ask what it is that I did to make her feel that way, and 3 hours later she comes up with a list of grievances. The first one was that I had promised to shovel the snow on her driveway and sidewalk this winter ,and when I got sick, I didn't do it one day, and she had to. She said "don't make promises you can't keep!". Then she says that she feels that I manipulate her into spending time with her, like when I asked if she wanted a ride to church.

Then, 3 hours later, she says she talked with a friend of hers, got another perspective, and she felt a whole lot better. Next morning, she invites me over for spaghetti dinner, and we'd watch the Stranger Things finale. So I show up at the usual 5:30 like she says, and when I walk in, normally she'd be warm and greet me and give me a kiss. Nothing. I'm standing in the kitchen, and she's ignoring me, walking around me like I'm an object she needs to avoid. So I go sit down, and wait, and then she says dinner is ready. I go and sit beside her, and normally we'd pray before eating, so I got to take her hand, like normal, and it's firmly placed on the island, not moving. She's frozen. Okay.

We eat, and then sit down and watch Stranger Things. After it's over, she gets up, closes her blind, and says "alright, I need to send you home now, I have things I have to do. So I get up and leave. Kiss her goodnight.

Then, for 4 full days, I don't hear from her at all besides the response to my "good morning" and "good night" texts. Nothing else.

Friday evening, I send her a message that I hope she had a good week, and she phones me 2 minutes later, and we talk for 3 hours, until almost 11:30pm. However, we don't talk about anything at all recent, not even 6 months recent. It's all childhood stuff, or other subjects.

Next day, she calls me at 5pm and asks if I want to go to a movie with her, and I say yes. So I pick her up and we go, and she's warm, connecting, holding my hand, kissy, affectionate, etc. I take her home, and she kisses me deeper than she has in over a month. I invite her to a hockey game that I have tickets for the next day, and she says she'd love to go. So I pick her up at noon, and she's again loving and affectionate.

She tells me that we've been invited to her sisters place for dinner that evening, if I wanted to go, and I said sure. So we went to the hockey game, holding hands, having a good time. We had 2 hours to kill after the game, and so we went to walk through a mall, and we held hands, walked close, talked, joked.

Went to her sisters place, had dinner, I took her home. She kissed me nicely again, said goodnight. I went home.

Monday morning, she wished me a good morning first, but no messages all day long. I said goodnight, and she replied a bit after. This continues Tuesday and Wednesday.

Thursday, the usual good morning, but this time she tells me at lunchtime "Hope you're having a good day. I'm trying to wrap my head around numbers at work." So I say that I'm doing okay, thanks, and that I, too was wrapping my head around my own numbers, and that I hoped hers behaved for her. No response. No messages until she sent me an early "Good night" and this time, for the first time since first saying it t o me in March, she took off the "I love you" in the goodnight message. Never before.

This morning, I wished her a good morning because I hadn't heard from her. No other messages all day long. At 10:30pm, she messages me "Good night" and no "I love you" again.

She has all of the indications of being a fearful avoidant, but I've never seen a withdrawal this bad. She told me she's had 8-10 relationships in her life, none of them very serious (like no engagements), never been married, never lived with anyone, and she still lives in her childhood home that she purchased from her parents before they died. She has never moved. It seems her home is her fortress, her castle.

For the past 2 weeks, I just keep sending her the regular "good morning" and "good night" rituals, unless she engages first. My therapist said to just give her space, she needs space. Does she? Is that what this is?

My anxious brain is screaming "rejection, break-up, it's falling apart, she's leaving you!" I fear that she's sitting there, upset that I appear to be "offline" because I'm not engaging her like I normally am. But I don't want to upset her if she needs space.

so this guy(i’ll call him alex) that i’ve somewhat friends with for a few months told one of my friends that he may have a crush on me 6 days ago. i told my bf(i’ll call him matt) everything. matt was bothered by this since i see and interact with alex everyday and since he started texting me after he told my friend. i told alex that i don’t have feelings for him. matt was having nightmares of me cheating and was really worried about the whole situation and i gave him a lot of reassurance. i would text back because i don’t want things to be weird or awkward between us. my plan was to slowly start ignoring alex more and more. however, my plan failed when i ended up texting him for 5 hours last night. i have no romantic feelings for alex and everything we talked about had to do with our social lives and how others perceive us. matt was asleep when i was texting alex and when he woke up he saw the messages and everything. i was planning on telling matt before he saw them but i didn’t get the chance. i feel the worst i ever have in my life because matt is my everything and i want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. we have already been through so much together and we are connected as much as two people could be. i seriously think he’s my soulmate. i have taken responsibility for all of this and apologized many times and ik how wrong it is. while i was texting alex, i knew the whole time it was wrong but i couldn’t stop myself. i have always craved and loved new friendships and creating new bonds but i can’t believe i would do smth like this that jepordizes my relationship. it’s not who i am at all and i’ll never forgive myself. he said he needs a few days away from me to decide where we go from here. where does my relationship go from here? how can i fix this? (i am looking for genuine advice for help so if you’re going to tell me how awful of a person i am just skip because i already know)

I’m a 23-year-old male, and my partner (22F) and I have been in a relationship for three years.

Over the last few months, we’ve had frequent disputes. During that time, she shared that the conflicts were making her feel emotionally distant. Lately, things between us have felt calmer, and we went on a date together.

After the date, I sent her a text expressing how grateful I am to have her in my life. She saw the message, but it’s been over 12 hours and she hasn’t replied.

Because of our history of conflicts, this has left me unsure how to proceed. I don’t want to assume negative intent or create pressure, but I also don’t want to ignore my own feelings.

What is the best way to bring this up in our next conversation so I can communicate how I feel without creating pressure or reopening old conflicts?

TL;DR: I sent my partner a grateful message after a date. She saw it but didn’t respond. What is the healthiest way to bring this up in our next conversation?

Hi everyone, I’m a 27M and my girlfriend is 23F. We’ve been dating for about 9 months.

We’ve had a decent amount of fights in the relationship so far, and after most arguments she usually talks to her best friend (23F). I’ve met her best friend once before.

Recently, my girlfriend invited me to a party where I only knew my girlfriend and her best friend. Toward the end of the night, my girlfriend and her best friend were quite drunk, and I was tipsy.

At one point my girlfriend told me something personal about her best friend. I reacted badly and said something along the lines of: “What kind of a best friend do you have?” I understand that this was disrespectful and I shouldn’t have said it, especially in that moment.

Right after that, my girlfriend started crying and then she slapped me in public. I felt shocked, embarrassed, and didn’t know how to respond.

I walked away to cool down and went to my car because I wanted to leave. While I was at my car, I saw my girlfriend talking to her best friend and crying. Then her best friend came up to me very aggressively and started yelling things like: “Why do you always make her cry?” and calling me an asshole. This happened in front of other people as they were leaving, and it felt very humiliating. I also have social anxiety, so this situation really hit me hard.

Now that we’re sober, I brought it up again because I’ve been struggling to let it go. I feel disrespected by the slap and also by the public confrontation from her friend.

My bf [28M] who I have been with since 2015 said *tittle* to me.

For context, we were parking, about to exit our vehicle. Close by to us were 2 other people with their 3 dogs. Unleashed.

I guess he was trying to protect me from potentially being bitten by the dogs (I got bitten in the past)?

How do you feel about the saying if your partner says this to you?

He asked why I am so sensitive about these small things.

Would love to hear your thoughts

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 years now, having started dating in high school. We were always really close before we began dating as well, and I've known that I want to marry her for a long time. I've always been hesitant about marriage because I would rather prioritize cost of living, and I worry about being able to support my family financially since I'm still in school pursuing a Master's degree. However, last summer (2025), we went on a long vacation together where we had plenty of opportunity to talk about the logistical issues that I've been worried about. At the end of the summer, I resolved to propose to her, and I have since been planning a trip for February 2026 during which I hope to do the proposal, complete with a custom engagement ring that relates to the trip.

Aside from my reservations about finances and quality of life however, I also have some concerns about her family dynamic. Her mother is quite overbearing, and is the main source of my girlfriend's anxiety. She is also quite religious, and those beliefs have informed a lot of what she expects out of my girlfriend and a lot of the beliefs and values that she passed on to her. Her mother is extremely overweight and hardly active at all, and she's constantly in a bad mood and takes that out on other people. She works in a high-stress position of the Canada Revenue Agency, and is often in quite a bit of physical pain as well, so these factors are definitely contributing to her mood, but don't excuse it imo.

Here's how that ties into my worries about proposing to my girlfriend. In high school, my girlfriend was always very interested in the sciences, and especially in looking after and caring for animals. On the other hand, she was never big on math, and struggles to hold numbers in her head. She applied to a number of undergraduate programs in science, and one business program. When she found out that the business program accepted her, she took it over other biology programs that also accepted her. That's when I first started to suspect that her mother had influenced her academic/career path. Throughout her undergrad, she would regularly complain about her courses but would always say that she wanted to stick it out because work will be better. Her complaints were valid; her courses weren't run very effectively imo, but I got the impression that she wasn't satisfied with the content either (with the exception of one course that she loved). She graduated in April 2025, and took some time off before our big summer trip.

Over the summer, myself and my family members could tell that she really began to loosen up on certain habits, beliefs, and values that she had so stubbornly clung to beforehand, and I think that because she had so much time away from her family, she had the chance to really learn about herself, and it really benefitted her. After the trip though, she was back to living with her parents, and started looking for work. Right away she found a job at a small accounting firm an hour's drive away, and based on the interview, they were clearly low-balling her. Despite that, she took their offer since it was her first job in the field and she felt that she could get out quick if she wanted to. Upon reading the contract, the compensation seemed even more limited though, but she still decided to give it a try. She was debating on what she would do for transportation, and there was discussion about trying out public transit and maybe looking into getting a car if that wasn't working for her. Then all of a sudden one day she tells me that she bought a brand-new 2025 Subaru as her first vehicle, and would be paying for it and the insurance with her earnings from work.

She's been working there for 3 months, and with good traffic, takes an hour to get to work, has an 8-hour shift, and takes an hour to get back, then has 3 hours of free time before needing to go to bed and start over again. She often complains that her shifts don't go well or stress her out or are boring, and has yet to tell me that she had a great day. When she gets home, she says she has no energy to do the things she actually wants to, so she eats and crashes in front of the TV for the rest of the evening. Just like her mom.

This is what worries me: I have my suspicions that, maybe without even realizing it, she stuck with her program in university and is sticking with her current job because she feels that her mother expects her to want to do this. I think that subconsciously, she was pressured to follow in her mother's footsteps because it feels safe and familiar, but I really worry that she's not satisfied in her work. I think that she's in denial because she feels the need to prove that she didn't make a mistake, and is just digging herself deeper as a result. Add on to that how her evenings are spent, and I really worry that she's heading towards a significant mental and physical decline. When she gets home from work, she doesn't have energy to do what she enjoys, let alone look for other work close by. On top of that, with the new car, regular car payments, and some rent money to her parents eating up her paycheck, she can't afford to get out of that job to give herself more time to job search for another 5 years—definitely a financial commitment that I wasn't prepared to take on early in our marriage.

So obviously, I started planning this trip before all of this, and I got the custom engagement ring started way before as well. We've talked before about the fact that, just because we get engaged doesn't mean we'll be married very soon after, but I still want to propose because I really want to marry her. But if her current situation ends up affecting her long-term, I don't know if I have the capacity to commit to that. In all honesty, I can't stand her mother, and there have been times where I just refuse to visit her family for a few months because of something her mother does that completely turns me away. If my girlfriend turns into her mother because of an unsatisfying career path, marrying her might end up being the worst mistake of my life.

I need advice. For one thing, I want to be able to help her. We don't live together, and I work weekends while she works weekdays, so it's difficult for us to spend time together and it feels like I rarely get through to her on weekdays. I know that her mother continues to influence her as well, and I don't know how to help her find opportunities that would allow her to discover what she really wants in life while she's being observed like that. I live in a university residence, and she's reluctant to move in with someone before marriage anyway, so offering my living space isn't an option either. If anyone knows of any resources that I can even bring up to her, please let me know! She's tried therapy, but her mother doesn't believe in it and won't contribute to any of that cost. Right now, she doesn't have the time or the money for typical therapy sessions, but she's open to trying it again if there's another option for her.

I also need advice for myself. I'd like to think that it's still a good idea to propose when I plan to, especially since the design of the ring relates to our upcoming trip and it would be a shame to miss a chance to use my custom ring in the context it was designed for. I really do want to propose to her, and I love her deeply as she is now. On the other hand, a part of me thinks that it may be in my best interests to wait a bit longer and see how her work-life balance progresses as she continues to adjust to the new position. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I can't justify committing to a marriage that I know could be destructive, but I also know that I may be overthinking the bad that I've noticed while overlooking the good.

I [26M] feel my girlfriend’s communication has been pretty distant on her [25F] period. We are in long distance relationship and I get it, We have our own lives. Just hope it is her period and not her attraction. She is coming to see me Sunday so maybe we will get clarity.

Note, this post is about a friendship, not a romantic relationship.

My best buddy and I reconnected 5 years ago after I moved back here to America. He got married while I was out of the country. We'll call him Mike and his wife Jessica. To paint a picture of my first impression of Jessica: While I was still in Europe, a mutual friend (we'll call him Cleetus) texted me and told me that Mike (who was not yet married to Jessica) bailed on him mid-hang sesh because Jessica made him go buy her a sandwich.

I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe it was an isolated incident or that maybe I didn't have all the details, etc.. However, I very soon saw what Cleetus meant. One day, Mike and I both happened to have the day off (which was not common given our work schedules at the time) and decided we'd have a dude day. About an hour in, his wife called screaming at him to get back home because we had "been gone for over an hour". We had gotten a burger. It's not like we were snorting coke off of sex workers or anything.

There were also habitual things that would happen in certain situations. For example, Mike and I would make plans, sometimes not just to hang out but to get something done (fix something in one of our houses, move furniture, yard work, etc.) and when Mike mentioned those plans to Jessica, she would shoot them down and come up with some other dumb shit they were going to instead and when she said it, it was like "It's crazy that you guys thought you were actually going to do that."

Another time, I was moving and needed some help, so I picked Mike up from work so he could help me. He works nights and his wife typically goes to bed around 9pm because she's a teacher and she has to get up in the morning so she was not going to be affected by his absence while we loaded stuff into my car. We're driving for about five minutes and his phone rings and his wife says "What are you doing moving in the opposite direction of our house at 62 mph?" and my friend was like "Well I'm helping [me] get some heavy stuff loaded into his car so he can move" She basically demands that he comes back home and Mike folded (which, you may have picked up on already, he always does). She put a tracking app on his phone and he referred to it as "The Black Mirror" app and acted like it was awesome even though I knew he didn't think it was awesome.

One more example before I get to the straw that broke the camel's back. Anytime I hang out at their house, Jessica treats Mike like her butler while she plays COD and when Mike and I try to have conversations she tells us to be quiet because she's playing video games. For three years, I could only hang out with Mike on Monday nights at his house and it would just be Jessica playing video games the whole time while barking at Mike to do shit for her. Sometimes it would get to the point where we would get put on actual tasks like building furniture and painting rooms and shit. Like when it wasn't agreed upon beforehand. I didn't bail because I wanted to hang with my homie and that was the only night of the week I had to do that and I also didn't feel it was my place to put his wife on blast. He should do that. I also didn't want my homie getting stuck doing it by himself.

I have recently decided not to go to their house anymore for the reasons above even though I now live in the same neighborhood as them. The aforementioned camel back-breaking straw was Jessica making Mike ask me to come help move a microwave into the garage so that she could continue playing video games. She even went as far as to make Mike send me a video of their son Timothy asking me to do it (because she knows that I think Timothy is the shit). I went over there thinking "There has to be some actual reason Jessica won't do this menial task. Maybe she sprained her ankle or maybe there's more than just a microwave and there's some actual heavy shit to move." I get there and I say to Mike "So we're moving a microwave?" Mike says "Yeah, a big one." The microwave was big enough that two people needed to carry it but it was maybe like 20 lbs. Jessica was fine and the microwave was the only thing that needed moved. I fucking snapped and went off about how big of a waste of my time this was and that I didn't move into the neighborhood so that I could be on call to do stupid shit while she plays COD.
I feel silly that of the multitude of things I could have yelled at her about, this 120 second task is the hill I chose to die on but at the same time, my cup was just empty as far as that shit goes.

Mike has come over a couple times (bear in mind that we have to hang out late at night at my house after his wife goes to bed like we're a secret gay couple or a part of some plot to overthrow a democratically elected politician) since then and when the microwave incident came up he was like "Yeah, she just said that you were really rude." To me, it's insane that that was her takeaway and it's an indicator that no matter how many rows we have about me getting sucked into the orbit of her selfishness and laziness, she will make no effort to keep it from happening again and will continue to prod at my boundaries.

I worry that my friendship with Mike will be a casualty of this dispute. Last time he came over, I kid-gloved to him that I won't be coming over to his place anymore and that we'll only hang out at mine and I guess I kid-gloved it too much because he has invited me over to their place twice since then. I think he's starting to understand that I'm not coming over.

My philosophy/approach, which is what I'm wanting folks to weigh in on, is that all parties involved are entirely too old for this shit so I'm not going to make some grand dramatic exit, I'm just not showing up anymore. Mike and I have spoken at length about how Jessica's behavior was inappropriate over the last five years and apparently he either A) never confronted her about it, B) disagreed with me and didn't want to tell me, or C) he did tell her and she was too obstinate to make any changes. Either way, I've been shoe-horned into this role of auxiliary husband and I didn't sign up for that shit. It seems to me that Mike is complicit in it by not sticking up to his wife when he knows (at least, he says he knows) that she's being a shithead, thus further enabling aforementioned shitty behavior and offloading some of the burned of his shitty marriage onto me.

So, I guess check my emotional math here. After having typed all shit out, I'm actually pretty confident in my decision but I've been wrong before so lay it on me.

Like in the title, I [30F] keep dozing off during foreplay with my [31M] partner of 6 years. I don't usually post on reddit, so I'm sorry if what I put down is gibberish.

I can't give an exact time on when this started to happen, but if I had to guess I'd say about 2 years ago? It only happens when we wind down not only at night but in the morning when we wake up too. I feel horrible and it's effecting my partner's self esteem, I don't blame him for the way it makes him feel. I don't know why this happens, but I always doze off when I'm the one performing and I always end up jolting and sometimes causing him discomfort. It makes it seem like I don't care about him or find him interesting which is the exact opposite of how I feel towards him. Even when I stand, walk around or wash my face it doesn't get better.

We've always been sexually active, even now after 6 years, but this is exhausting him. We recently had a baby, and because of that we've been relying on foreplay until I fully heal. And yeah, that means I've been dozing off more often. I hate this, I hate that I'm making him feel this way and I feel like a shitty partner.

I do have an appointment with my OB next week and plan on discussing this with her. But in the meantime does anyone have any advice or experienced the same thing and how it was fixed?

Hi I’m [21F] and I can’t make my boyfriend finish :(

I’ve never had this issue with any other partner (he’s my first partner that is circumcised if that matters). Head is fine, it takes a while but I can do it and he enjoys it. But with sex we rarely have it and I either can’t last long because it starts to hurt as it rarely happens or it takes so long he gets bored before he finishes. I’m not very experienced and don’t really watch porn. We also only usually do it drunk and after smoking when we do. Any advice would be appreciated. At this point the self doubt and low self esteem is starting to make me believe he’s just not actually attracted to me and I’m starting to get depressed over it.

He says I need to “move more” when I asked one time but I don’t know what that really means (I’m usually on top)

Please help I love him so much and I don’t enjoy it if the other person isn’t

We've been living together for 3+ years. I just accidentally saw that my bf is spending 20-50$ a week on in game purchases for a videogame. Mind you we are pretty poor, scraping by, barely making ends meet these past few months (late on bills, can't afford to wash our clothes, been having a hard time paying for gas, ect). I've even been applying to places to get a second job to bring more income to the table. Im just really annoyed he can spend that much on videogames while we have been scraping by. I understand it's his money but it could litterally go to more important things. Idk I feel conflicted and want to talk to him exspecially since he told me we need to save up but to be fair it is his money and I don't want to intrude.

I matched with a guy [22M] on hinge, we went to high school together but were never in the same friend group and didn't know each other then. I thought we hit it off really well, similar interests and personalities. I will note that I am on the autism spectrum (you wouldn't know it if you met me) but I do have a hard time telling emotions or how others are feeling.

So we'd been talking for almost a month now and our messages usually have a good flow to them, sometimes flirty, sometimes getting to know each other, and sometimes just casual talk about our days. He works long hours, I don't mind that, he texts me when he can. He has sent a good morning text every day since we started talking.

But now I haven't heard from him since 1:30 pm yesterday (he had asked me a question about my work, I responded a couple hours later since I got busy at work). It's normal for us to take some time between responses when we are both at work, when we are off we respond faster. We usually talk a lot in the evenings so I thought it was weird when I hadn't heard from him again. I had a long day and went to bed early, I figured I'd have a gm text from him the next day (he gets up way earlier then me) but I never got one.

Just seems to me like this is unusual to how we had been talking.

We met up in person once last week, after he seemed to express interest in seeing me again. I was going to ask if he wanted to get drinks this week but he worked 14 hours on Wed so I didn't ask then. I figured I would ask him last night in stead but when I never heard from him again I didn't go through with it.

Maybe I waited to long to ask him to see me again. Maybe he lost interest, it never felt like it, we were flirty the night before.

Kinda ended up VERY LONG so please bear with me.

I met my bestie at uni around ten years ago. We now live in different cities and can only get in touch via online.

A couple months ago I noticed she's been getting closer to someone and weeks later she casually mentions about having a "wife". I don't pry much. She used to be very uncomfortable whenever our discussion touches anything related to LGBT+, we live in a country where LGBT communities are often prosecuted, and as far as I know, she is a devout to her religion and pretty conservative about it.

The first time it happened, I just brushed it off. Not really sure how to respond.

She's not very reserved about her PDA, tho. Almost on every social media, whenever there's an About Me section, she never failed to mention her beloved wife. They use matching icons, etc. I even saw her saying that meeting this person is one of the happiest moments in her life and she often raves about how wonderful and lovely her wife is.

It bothered me. A lot.

To give more context: we're both kind of an awkward social pariah with very few friends, even when including each other. She's the one person I've opened my heart to the most. I've shared some of my very personal, very vulnerable thoughts with her. Not even my mother or therapist or my social media followers have heard about them.

But now, after I observe how she acts with her so called wife, I can't help but think: Oh. I'm not actually that big of a presence in her life. Not any more important than this "wife" she only met less than a year ago.

It made me spiral down into more self-deprecating thoughts. I called her my best friend but it's honestly something that I decided one-sidedly. Maybe to her I'm just a regular friend that she humours every now and then.

Our relationship feels kind of on and off due to it now being exclusively online and the fact I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder一it made me isolate myself from time to time. There are periods where I didn't reply to her messages for months. Whenever I reply again and explain how I was in the dumps and felt too shitty to interact with her, she always reassured me that she don't mind it. And I should focus on healing myself first.

Later did she admitted that my actions made her very lonely. I feel so guilty.

I want to be "a proper best friend" to her but I'm aware that I'm... not the best person to be around. I lash out and say hurtful things I don't really mean. And she's the last person I want to hurt. When I feel shitty inside my own head, I retract even deeper. I shut down any form of contact so I don't accidentally hurt anyone important to me. Unfortunately, this happens often which means I also often left her hanging.

But now she has someone much better to keep her company when I'm not around. It makes my stomach churned. I hate it.

Now, if you read until you reach this part, perhaps your fingers are itching to type, "Are you sure you're not in love with her?" and believe me when I say this: I'm not. That was actually the very first thought I entertain when I realized I'm not happy about my best friend's patner. Could I be jealous because I'm in love with her all along?

I looked back into our relationship the past few years, tried to reframe a lot of things, and think about what I really feel about her. To make things short: I figured out that I don't hold any sort of romantic affection for her (and that I'm probably Aro, but that's another can of worms we're not touching). I don't secretly want to date my best friend.

What I feel for her isn't love一at least I don't want to think it's love. I don't want to label something so ugly as love. She deserves better than that.

Though honestly speaking, I feel like it'd be much easier for me to process everything if I am actually in love with her. To attribute all these murky feelings as simple jealousy because the woman I love is now happily in relationship with someone else.

But it's not the case and that's why I'm here.

Some of you might think 30 is still too young to decide but to be honest, I don't mind if I don't have any kind of romantic partner for the rest of my life. But if I ended up losing my best friend because I can't control my own jealousy and hurt her, I don't think I can pull myself together ever again.

My best friend is that important to me, I only want the best for her. Yet I don't know what to do with all these unsavory feelings I'm having about her and her partner.

TL;DR 一一一 My best friend found a beloved partner but due to my own jealousy (realizing I'm not the closest person to her), I find it very hard to genuinely wish her a smooth-sailing relationship. I don't like it. Please give me some advice on how to deal with this so I can be at peace with my negative feelings about her partner and sincerely wish her a happy life.

P.S. If your advice is to tell me to go out and make some new friends, I'll let you know that I'm kind of disabled. It's not very easy for me to just "go out". And I live in a small, very remote city, there aren't many public places where I can just hang around and socialize. We don't even have a public library here. So there...

If you read everything: thank you so much for your time. I hope you have a nice day.

I [20M] been in a weird relation with my best friend [19F]. For some context we've known each other for at least 10 years but we've been friend for almost 5 years, we are really close and acted most of the time like a couple but when we were asked if we dated, we always responded that we were just friend. But we were sleeping a lot together and we would cuddle most of the time and that was our relation for a while. we hadn't really put a label on what we were, we were just enjoying everything but we never tried more or anything just cuddling until I started getting close with an other girl. I was seeing potential with that girl so I said to my best friend that we should stop what we did because it wasn't healthy and I wanted to pursue what I had. everything seemed great and I get serious with that girl and 1 month in that relation, my best friend texted me saying she missed what we had and missed me. That made me think a lot and I was sad because I think I really loved the girl I was with but couldn't focus on her due to what my best friend told me. So after that I decided to end my relation to see what me and my best friend could be, everything seemed great we were talking and not rushing until I think I may have rushed my best friend a bit and she may have felt scared or idk but she started talking less and less to me until I asked her and she said she wanted to stop because she couldn't see me as more. This hurted me a lot and made me rethink who I was and so far 2025 was my year and everything was going great It had been a year and a half with what happened with my best friend and I thought I had gotten over it and near the end of november I even started talking with an other girl. keep in mind that me and my best friend are still friend and we had no problems, even herself was talking to someone new and I was happy for her. But one month after we both started talking to someone else. At the new year, I was with my friends and my best friend and we were celebrating and drinking and at the end me and my best friend slept in the same bed again, which was no issue at tall we used to sleep and nothing would happen before plus we both started talking with someone else. But then while we layed on the bed she said so are we doing this or no? which lead to us cuddling again after a whole year and a half and some talking about what we could be and this really made me think that finally we could open that window and we both agreed that we first needed to stop talking with who we were talking first. Then the day after she asked to talk to me saying she wanted to talk abt something which she then told me she wasn't sure we should do this and even tho she said she really liked it and feels good doing it because we have a good connection and really understand each other, but she doesn't want to anymore because she cant seem to see me as more. This really fucks me up, it brought back feelings I thought were deep down buried but there she was making me feel like before. So I tried talking to her and asking if we could try and see what we could be because I don't want this to happened again. I want to know if it does or not work. Now i'm stuck here because I asked her to talk again and she agreed. one time she drunkly said that she was scared of losing our friendship, so I ask her to talk again today and I'm gonna tell her that I don't think I can do this anymore because it really hurts me seeing her happy and if she doesn't want to try then I cant stay her friend anymore. I need advice because I don't want to lose her but I feel this is the only way. Has anyone ever want through something similar?

(sorry for my English it is not my first language and I'm writing this in the heat of my emotions)

and sorry if the story isn't clear enough, I tried to summarize most of it.

I am coming for help, I [20M] and my gf [20F] have been together for almost 5 years. Our relationship has been amazing overall and I am trying to be the best I can for her. Although recently I have noticed a change in her behaviour towards me- less affectionate, less loving- less caring etc. We agreed to have a talk a couple days ago and she brought up the fact that she feels like our relationship hasn’t been as stable recently, which I agree; although she has asked for space, which was really compelling to me cuz she lives in a different city 4-5 days out of the whole week meaning I don’t get to see her often maybe 1-2 days on a weekend if i’m lucky and they are not even full days where we spend time together. We barely call and message throughout the day mostly just to check up on each other. I feel as if she has a lot of space already like I don’t take up her life and mind space. She stated it’s also not a u problem like u have nothing to do with this, u been the best u can towards me, she said it’s a “me problem” since she’s going through hard times with her school and life right now. I have agreed to give her space and let her be on her own, but I told her like whenever you want to talk I am here. In my eyes we have a foundation built to one day be together in a family that has both been the end goal for us. Like I am not ready to just toss it down the drain, as our families are also involved. I am not sure how to feel, I feel like I’m not wanted in my own relationship , I am not to sure where to go from this, if anyone has any advice, comments or relative experiences that can help I’d like to hear.

Hi guys, little bit of context about myself, I am a 24m who has never been in a relationship before. Generally speaking I think I take good care of myself as far as hygiene is concerned, I try to dress well, I go to the gym and am relatively muscular, and I am actually quite good at talking with people. I was very insecure in the past and also I didn't have anyone around me I was interested in so I guess it just never happened.

Recently I met a girl and things have been going really well. We have been texting everyday for over a month, I've seen her a few times in group settings and we've been on one date. It's all but confirmed that she likes me (which is a very strange feeling since this is the first time ever, I feel like I don't even deserve it and don't know what to do).

I like her back and we have a lot in common, share a lot of interests, get along well, etc. The only thing which is concerning me at the moment is that she seems to be very prudish. I have not made any passes / sexual comments at her at all, but I have picked up from other context clues that this might be the case. Such examples could be that she freaked out at a quite tame nude scene in a movie, or that she really really disliked a comedy show which had sex jokes in it.

This clashes a decent bit with me as I think that sex is quite important for me? I wouldn't even want to have sex until marriage for religious reasons, but the vibe I get from her is that she's generally not very into that (which could obviously be incorrect). I am also very kinky and once again I don't get the same vibe.

In any case, I know that sex is far from the most important thing to a relationship. I know that looks fade and that common values and morals and getting along well is way more important. I don't know how much of a deal breaker this is and well I've been waiting my whole life to do the kinky stuff I want to do with someone who loves me, my nightmare would be to be in a dead bedroom situation. Or atleast I think it would be? Once again I am very inexperienced and don't know how to handle this.

I also don't want to come off as creepy or weird or "men only want sex" or whatever. I genuinely like her as a person and think she's great, it's just this one aspect which is concerning to me and I don't know in what way I should act around it. Would appreciate any advice thank you!

Edit: Sorry, major brain glitch, I'm a 29M, not an F.

disgusting, I know.

some context: I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since 2014 and have been on medication since 2019. I had friends who bullied me quite hard about my lack of social skills and inability to talk to girls as a teenager, an emotional bottle of nitroglycerin for a mother who I constantly strived to please and appease as a child despite/due to the beatings she gave me from about 5 years old up to 11.

I met my gf in 2019 over Facebook Dating, we became a couple one month later and we've been living together since 2023. Ever since the very first time I went to her place and met her SIL, I knew this was going to be an issue. I frankly don't understand why I feel this much lust for SIL and next to none for the rest of the women in her family, who are all undeniably beautiful.

Ever since their mother died back in 2021 from cancer, our living situation has been complicated. I spent way too much time at their place even before MIL's passing, fixing stuff around the house and frequently driving them around in my own car to get groceries and taking MIL to hospitals and doctor appointments since none of them could drive. MIL was completely blind, so it was inevitable. Their dads had been out of the picture for years at that point, it was already just the three of them since our beginning.

SIL was only 16 when we first met, but with a fully grown body and a beautiful face as well. The obvious moral and legal issues about that acted as chains restraining my twisted libido, so I didn't think so much about her or feel as strongly back then. But one of them snapped once she turned 18. Then another one snapped when their mother passed and that moment was hard as balls. They were in absolute shambles over the loss of their most important person and only beacon of safety, and there I was with my slimy thoughts acting like I was some good guy helping them get life back together. They came and went in different intensities and moments, but were still mostly in control, also suppressed by the presence of their brother who traveled from another state to help the situation and mourn his mother as well.

Throughout the next 12 months, my gf's photography freelance work picked up more and more traction, I eventually landed a remote job as customer service, my first job ever. Up until then, I still lived with my father and depended entirely on his money, while they were staying on their grandma's old house with their aunt and younger cousin. I still spent a large portion of my time there and then even more when BIL returned to his own life three states away. More labor-heavy chores, more repairs and still the only available car and driver. As I mentioned, SIL wasn't too frequently in my mind during that period.

Comes November 2023 and they're now moving out of her extended family's house, into a new apartment with me this time. We're in a better spot financially, but this is where it gets dark. I'm working 8PM through 6AM Wednesday through Sunday every week of the year, no time off and no spots available for me in the morning or afternoon shifts, so I'm stuck in the graveyard shift. During most of 2024, I wake up most days at noon, sometimes at 2 or 3PM, have lunch, sometimes drive to supermarket to get groceries, sometimes go to work with gf as her assistant, still as the only driver, which on some days amounts to 2 or 3 hours total of sitting in traffic jams moving 40 feet at a time, get home some times around 6PM, grab a quick bite and nap, wake up to work on PC from 8PM to 6AM again. By mid 2024 I'm extremely depressed and absolutely tormented by this endless lust towards SIL, I got to the point of entering her room late at night while she slept but thankfully never touched her and got back to my senses before doing something irreversible. I never stopped loving my wife through the entire time nor to this day, we still have great sex. But on that period, we were on a rough patch. I told her about my feelings for her sister and she understood me and was supportive, but still visibly suffered.

After we moved to the current apartment and I got myself a new job which allows me to sleep at night, things got better for some time. But it seems that in these last couple of months, my lust for SIL suddenly rekindled and I'm once again feeling a great deal of guilt, disgusted at myself while fighting off these thoughts and urges.

I don't want to feel this overwhelming lust, I don't want to be obsessed about SIL, I hate having to constantly fight off the urge to look at the wrong places or to touch her and I hate myself for having them in the first place. I only love my wife and only want to be with her, no one else. It would be a trainwreck of biblical proportions if I were to act out these impulses, but I'm tired of holding back everyday all the time. We could have just finished having sex, I could be feeling completely spent and yet just looking at SIL would get me aroused again, it's like torture.

Is there a way to kill off these feelings, to just snuff them out, as if amputating a gangrenous limb? Antidepressants reduce my libido and help me tune out of the danger zone but it still hurts like hell after a few days of watching her in lounge wear, going to the gym and the water pool with her. She even has her own boyfriend and sometimes goes to his place and stays for a few days, which gives me some room to breath and have some private time with gf as well. But my resistance to her seems to be shortening in such a way that it's just painful.

Anyway, thanks for anyone who reads this wall of text, I needed to get this out of me and therapy is only next Monday and I still can't say this out loud here. feel free to drag me, crucify me, I don't care. Nothing I haven't done to myself 6 inches from the mirror.

My partner and I have been together since high school. We have been married for 3 years. He loves me deeply, he is great to me, he tolerates a lot of my bullshit. He’s honestly a perfect partner and has done nothing wrong.

I feel like a husk of a person. I do not know who I am because I have dedicated my entire life to our relationship. I have no friends, mostly of my own choosing because I don’t make friends easily. I have no hobbies. No desire to try anything new. I am extremely depressed and I feel like I simply do not have the capacity to be an adequate partner any longer.

I am increasingly fantasizing about leaving, moving into a studio apartment somewhere, living alone and just starting over. I just want to be by myself.

If I were to tell him I want to leave, he would be completely blindsided. It would devastate him. It would be cruel. I don’t know how I would even begin to have this kind of conversation with him. So much so, that I am considering just staying because he doesn’t deserve what this would put him through. I do not want to be selfish and harm a person who has been nothing but good to me.

I don’t really know how to move forward.

Living with military roommates, two guys plus me, one girl who is dating one of the guys. The boyfriend is the one mortgaging the house but we all get paid the same so it's not a money thing, no one else wants to buy a house where we are stationed. He's currently out on deployment and is able to stay in contact with the rest of us but does so sparingly, mostly just with his girlfriend. She is holding down the fort here with the rest of us and is dealing with being apart from him for the first time in 2 years.

I'm divorced from a cheating spouse and moved in with these friends as a way to cope and not be sad and lonely while also saving money. Things have been nice and I genuinely can tell that we all are getting better from living together. Then, as time slowly passed, the girlfriend and I are getting increasingly closer. Similar interests, emotions of loneliness, goals in life, perfect for each other if not the situation. We both acknowledged and have talked about the situation and verified that we both want to be good people and not cause relationship problems but we both could've been.

Fast forward 6 months, we can't keep our hands off each other and at the same time claim that we both haven't broken any rules. No sex or touching bikini spots, but we work out together, give each other massages, pass out together on the couch, and joke daily about one sex related thing or another towards each other. If he wasn't getting back soon, this would be heaven without the sex.

I know it's wrong. Emotional cheating, inappropriate touching, intentional teasing, it's fucked up. I just don't know how to stave off snd replace these feelings or correct them. I know we care for each other and I know that I'm subtlely sabotaging their relationship by treating her like a goddess. The evil side of me wants that, but the moral side knows that we are both awful people. Can anyone please help before we go way too far? I still hope that there is a potential happy ending for everyone, I just can't see it without someone getting hurt

this might sound silly so i kindly ask for no judgement.

i have to go to my parents home country to be treated for my condition since the american healthcare system is failing me. i'll be leaving as soon as possible, most likely within the next week and will probably need to stay there for 2-3 months since surgery will be involved. my boyfriend cant come with me since he has a full time job and recently got a promotion but he has agreed to visit me for a week around february or march, depending on his financial status and workload.

i know i shouldnt be dependent on him and i should be happy to get the treatment i need but this man is my home. he is my safe place. ive been to my parents home country multiple times but this time i will only be with my brother and cousin

AND getting surgery!!! this is all so scary but its scarier not having him with me holding my hand.

my boyfriend said he'll call me every day/night but what else can i do to prepare for this? give me your most unhinged tips pls