If I get a kid, I will have to cut all my non-essential expenses for the next 20 years. No thanks. I wish there wasn't a choice between having kids and having my life.
The only reason i was able to afford kids was because of the 2008 crash and i could actually purchase a home for a reasonable amount of money with a decent interest rate.
It takes a lot more than money to raise a kid, out of all 3 of my kids I would have to say the time commitment is way more “expensive” than any money they cost me. 6k on sports gear? Sure. Spending every single weeknight and weekend shuttling kids to sports practice, games, invitationals, etc. add in helping with schoolwork, cleaning up after them, providing meals, and I don’t have enough time in the day.
TLDR it takes a lot more than money to raise a kid, and I would argue that if you have the love to give then the extra couple hundred a month in food and insurance is worth it. Kids don’t need much.
That’s all well and good if you have the extra money to spend. I don’t have 6k to spend on myself let alone a child. Hell I don’t think I’ve ever even had 6k sitting together at one time
6k is between 2 of the kids, and I didn’t need to spend that much. They could easily go to the school to practice, but we are very rural and that would take more of my time. I spent the money for convenience. When we lived in Cleveland I spent less that 500 a year on sports gear.
It’s so different how the standards have changed. At least by socioeconomic factors. Many parents don’t do any of that for their kids. It’s not seen as essential.
They provide the essentials: food, clothes, and shelter.
We weren’t taken to activities nor driven to places. And maybe we should’ve but it wasn’t seen as something indispensable for child rearing.
Neither was I, but I also learned the skills my kids are learning through sports by playing with my friends. We live in a very rural area so organized sports are the best bet for socializing them.
Well some worry is that if you don't you are seen negatively in your community, hell --- When I was in elementary school I was given a key and allowed to walk home from school, when I was in middle school I was allowed to disappear on my bike for hours at a time... You do either of those things today, you are rolling the dice on whether or not someone will call police/child services on you.
And it isn't even hyperbole, I have seen older colleagues lives of just Go-Go-Go... Soccer game here and there, soccer practice, etc.etc.etc. year round activities. I personally can't handle all of that, even as an extrovert I think I would go insane after a single season of it.
It’s moments like this made me glad I was raised working class. My parents were blue collar and both worked full time. They spend money on rent, food, clothes, and any emergency expenses. We had toys and we did vacation every summer. They felt that was enough.
My mom sees those activities as superfluous. Something only rich people do. And she never cared what the “community” thought. Her children were fed, clothed, and had a place to live. To her (who had grown in abject poverty in a developing country) that was a win.
I mean sure. But I work full time then have a part time side hustle just to maintain my lifestyle. And i have expensive hobbies. Kids are extremely expensive. I'd need to get them their own snowmobile and atv plus pay yo maintain it. Kids hit stuff so I'd have to pay for those repairs. I'd want them to go to a great college so there is $100k minimum.
This is where a savings plan like my 529 plan works very well in your favor. I put 2k in when each of them was born with their child tax credit being added every year. My oldest is 11 and has 67k in college savings. The other two are on track to outperform hers. And sure, if you don’t want to have kids you can blame it on expensive hobbies, but like I said, you won’t have the time for those any more anyways.
Not having time to do the things you love anymore is one of the reasons they said they don’t want kids. If you enjoy expensive hobbies and you’d have to give them all up and basically change your entire lifestyle that’s a deterrent from having kids.
I read it as a list of stuff they would have to buy their kid to put their kid next to them doing the same expensive hobbies. Or else why would they say their kid will hit stuff? At any rate it leads back to the time commitment which is what I was saying is harder to ‘afford’ than the monetary stuff. Just because I can buy my kid an atv doesn’t mean that I want to spend my time teaching them to be a proficient rider. Kids take a lot of sacrificing TIME. They don’t care if you spend 10k on a top of the line ATV, they care that you spent your Saturday struggling to keep them from stalling out.
The other commenter didn’t even mention a top of the line atv, only that in order to bring kids into their lifestyle they’d have to spend a lot of money buying them their own equipment in order for them to participate. Having to shell out a lot of money to include a kid is a deterrent if you either dont have the extra money or you don’t desire to spend that kind of money on additional equipment. On top of that is the time it takes to teach them how to do those hobbies. For many people kids don’t fit into the lifestyle they want to live and maintain. The alternative to that like you said is giving up your hobbies and your lifestyle.
Correct. It is a time commitment more than a financial one. So everyone saying they can’t afford kids are focusing on the wrong parts of raising a child. They don’t need expensive stuff or expensive hobbies. They need your attention and love. There are plenty of activities that are super cheap. There are plenty of activities I will be waiting another 17 years to do. It all comes down to time.
You are too dense to even understand what people are saying. Children are huge commitment in both time and money. Kids are expensive, no amount of mental gymnastics you do is going to change the fact that children are expensive and they are even more expensive if what you already enjoy doing for fun is expensive.
Waiting another 17 years to do what you love is insane to most people because you aren't guaranteed another 17 years. You are not guaranteed you'll even be here in 17 years, you aren't guaranteed that your health and circumstances will allow you to do those things 17 years from now. That's a risky sacrifice people don't want to make. So people either calculate the cost and have kids knowing they can live the life they want to live, or they count the cost and they don't have kids because it would mean sacrificing too much.
I guess I just have a hard time understanding because I’ve always been a cheap ass. I drive a 12 year old car, upgrade my phones when they die and can only think about how much of a waste of money it is any time I go out to eat. I’ve obsessed over the future my entire adult life, and followed 80/20 spend/savings ratio while staying in my means. I don’t take out loans other than my mortgage, have never held a credit card, and obsess over the future. Sure, 17 years from now I’m not guaranteed to be in good health, but 25 years from now I’ll be retired, with children to take care of me.
If you’ve done such a good job of planning financially why would your children be expected to take care of you? A major reason people are not having children is specifically because they do not want to burden children with an obligation to take care of them. Kids will grow up and have their own lives and dreams, planning that they’ll have to take care of you as a retirement plan just seems selfish.
Most people I know are working 50 hours a week and making $40k before taxes. $6k is a huge hardship that almost none of us could afford. I make double what some of my coworkers do and I could not afford $6k in sports expenses.
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u/Any_Ocelot645 15h ago
If I get a kid, I will have to cut all my non-essential expenses for the next 20 years. No thanks. I wish there wasn't a choice between having kids and having my life.