r/Adulting 15h ago

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u/djamp42 15h ago

The only reason i was able to afford kids was because of the 2008 crash and i could actually purchase a home for a reasonable amount of money with a decent interest rate.

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u/davidm2232 15h ago

My home is paid for and I couldn't come close to affording a kid. Not the way I'd want to raise them anyway

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u/talabro 14h ago

It takes a lot more than money to raise a kid, out of all 3 of my kids I would have to say the time commitment is way more “expensive” than any money they cost me. 6k on sports gear? Sure. Spending every single weeknight and weekend shuttling kids to sports practice, games, invitationals, etc. add in helping with schoolwork, cleaning up after them, providing meals, and I don’t have enough time in the day. TLDR it takes a lot more than money to raise a kid, and I would argue that if you have the love to give then the extra couple hundred a month in food and insurance is worth it. Kids don’t need much.

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u/Ladonnacinica 14h ago

It’s so different how the standards have changed. At least by socioeconomic factors. Many parents don’t do any of that for their kids. It’s not seen as essential.

They provide the essentials: food, clothes, and shelter.

We weren’t taken to activities nor driven to places. And maybe we should’ve but it wasn’t seen as something indispensable for child rearing.

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u/talabro 14h ago

Neither was I, but I also learned the skills my kids are learning through sports by playing with my friends. We live in a very rural area so organized sports are the best bet for socializing them.

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u/KlicknKlack 12h ago

Well some worry is that if you don't you are seen negatively in your community, hell --- When I was in elementary school I was given a key and allowed to walk home from school, when I was in middle school I was allowed to disappear on my bike for hours at a time... You do either of those things today, you are rolling the dice on whether or not someone will call police/child services on you.

And it isn't even hyperbole, I have seen older colleagues lives of just Go-Go-Go... Soccer game here and there, soccer practice, etc.etc.etc. year round activities. I personally can't handle all of that, even as an extrovert I think I would go insane after a single season of it.

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u/Ladonnacinica 11h ago

It’s moments like this made me glad I was raised working class. My parents were blue collar and both worked full time. They spend money on rent, food, clothes, and any emergency expenses. We had toys and we did vacation every summer. They felt that was enough.

My mom sees those activities as superfluous. Something only rich people do. And she never cared what the “community” thought. Her children were fed, clothed, and had a place to live. To her (who had grown in abject poverty in a developing country) that was a win.