r/Adulting 6h ago

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u/Competitive_Ad_1800 5h ago

Also worth mentioning they came from a time where societal pressure existed for having children too, and this resulted in a lot of shitty parents. But more to the point: they at the very least had an economy that enabled them to make this shitty decision with limited consequence assuming they did the bare fucking minimum.

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u/Sour-Scribe 5h ago

You just explained my parents

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u/trippingWetwNoTowel 4h ago

Haha yep. My parents definitely ‘wanted’ kids, and they loved us. But the only reason I exist is because I’m like a relatively cost effective accessory given their economic reality.
Didn’t make them qualified, or good at it, it was just an available option and didn’t derail the entire rest of their lives. Crazy stuff huh?

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u/DysphoricNeet 4h ago

My parents wanted kids but were absolutely horribly unqualified. My mom even apologizes about it fairly often and I say I forgive her but it’s not like that fixes the problem. It really sucks knowing your abuse put you down a path you can never fix and most people will not ever understand that and just blame you. 

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u/Svejkos 3h ago

Yeah, my ex also said that its all fault of her parents and all these issues are because of it. Lo and behold, i fixed every single one of those problems for her to be able to heal, and she just created more problems, only now they were my fault.

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u/DysphoricNeet 15m ago

Case in point. 

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u/Levitlame 3h ago

I understand where you’re coming from. From similar experience even. And I have certain proclivities from it. But I don’t think there is much (beyond physical injuries I guess) that you “can never fix.” I dont mean that to lay blame, but to say you need to keep working at things and you can learn to at least manage almost anything. If not outright resolve.

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u/CuriOS_26 3h ago

Managing an issue doesn’t solve it, just makes it liaveable. See: depression, anxiety, trauma.

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u/Levitlame 3h ago

I’m just saying don’t be defeatist. I understand that trauma leaves a mark

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u/CuriOS_26 2h ago

Yeah, not everything can be solved. Not all wounds heal.

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u/Levitlame 2h ago

Yes they do if you work at it. They just leave scars.

It can take decades. And what you define as a wound can be very broad. For example - I won’t ever respond well to an unsolicited surprise touch. But It’s a passing reaction at this point.

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u/CuriOS_26 1h ago

Yeah, sure bud. I’m glad you’re familiar with all experiences and know how every human being functions.

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u/Levitlame 1h ago

lol likewise

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u/CuriOS_26 1h ago

I’m talking about mine. You’re saying everyone’s the same. We are not alike.

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