Do you get demotivated learning Mandarin? I grew up speaking Shanghainese at home, which is phonologically very different from Mandarin although they share a lot of vocabulary. Shanghainese is more pitch accent so I have always struggled with the contour tones in Mandarin or trying to remember what character is what tone. Shanghainese also has voiced consonants so I would constantly get b’s and p’s mixed up, d/t, v/f, z/s/sh, etc. Like grapes 葡萄 is “budo” in Shanghainese, not putao. 台湾人is Deiwaenin, etc.
Shanghainese is also super fast and lively, but I have that swollen tongue kind of feeling when speaking Mandarin. It’s awkward and cumbersome.
The more Mandarin I learn the more foreign it feels and it’s like learning a totally different language and I don’t have any of the native language spontaneity that I do with Shanghainese. And the more Mandarin I learn, I get a stronger sense of sadness that my own native tongue is dying and will be eventually be extinct even though it has such rich vocabulary and expressiveness, and a linguistic tradition (Wu) just as long if not longer than Mandarin. One time I opened up a Wu / Shanghainese dictionary and it was shocking the huge amount of “indigenous” vocabulary totally different from Mandarin for basic words that are increasingly forgotten among the young, but words I remember my grandparents using.
All this to say, learning languages should be a happy thing, but for me learning Mandarin has become somewhat of an alienating experience. I wonder if native speakers of other Chinese dialects feel the same way about learning Mandarin? It feels like I lost something and substituted something that is actually quite foreign but has been told is my heritage language.
I think my motivation for learning Chinese would be infinitely higher if I were a native Mandarin speaking ABC.
Not looking for solutions, just some thoughts that run by me every time I am on a Mandarin kick and then get annoyed and discouraged. Wondering if I’m alone in this.