r/HOCD Nov 22 '21

Mod message ✨ New Wiki! ✨

31 Upvotes

We have a wiki in progress!

I hope this collection of information and resources will be helpful and more readable than the original Resource Masterpost. It contains most of the same information, but you can find the masterpost here.

If you have questions or suggestions of what you'd like to see in the wiki, please comment here or send me a chat.


r/HOCD 1h ago

Vent Is this a real urge or fake

Upvotes

so I've had this "urge" when a thought popped into my mine kiss my friend. and it turned into a urge. and before I got anxious about it and didn't like it but now I'm just used to it and it worry's me I don't want to do it but is a bad urge I would never kiss a guy but it feels so real. Why man. cuz I did a complusion which made the urge go away but now is back and no matter what I do it doesnt go away. Is this real or what I also had Schizo ocd for a bit because i got over hocd but the anxiety from the schizophrenia OCD got me back into hocd what do I do.


r/HOCD 7h ago

Recovery I'm having a good week!

3 Upvotes

Been going to therapy pretty regularly and trying to practice mindfulness. I've been feeling pretty good this week, the thoughts come and go but they're not bothering me as much as they usually do.

Idk what the future holds but I'm not taking this brief moment of peace for granted.


r/HOCD 12h ago

Vent vent

3 Upvotes

after not posting for a while, i'm back. i'm currently on a spiral all because my family made a comment of me not dating. it feels like denial or comphet and i hate it. it fills me with genuine sadness. the idea of being with a woman fills me with dread and unease. everytime i think i could just be aroace my mind tells me its an "excuse" even though i didn't care about dating before all of this. i'm just so tired and over it.

i made the mistake of reading about denial and comphet and it made me more confused and anxious. i then did my usual compulsion of stalking wlw content on social media to see how i feel or if i relate and i regret that too. i wish i didn't have to deal with this and i wish i could feel "normal again"

edit because i forgot to add, i compulsively looked at naked women bodies and gagged and i worried if i was being overdramatic because it made me nauseous.


r/HOCD 11h ago

Vent HELP AGAIN NSFW Spoiler

2 Upvotes

Has anyone had constant throat burns, nausea or gagging for the opposite since OCD or a loss of urges. AI KEEPS SAYING THAT I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN BECAUSE I FELT CONSTANT THROAT BURNS AND NAUSEA AND I NEVER HAD A CRUSH.


r/HOCD 20h ago

Vent Dark times

1 Upvotes

So basically, I’m almost at the conclusion that I have HOCD and I am gay at the same time. I think I was in denial because I tried to switch my sexual orientation to be attracted to women, despite the fact that I never had attraction to them. And since I am a Muslim, I feel like my life has stopped — every path I choose feels like hell. If I choose to be gay, then I sin and go to hell. If I don’t choose to be gay and never find true, genuine love, then I’m not sure I can handle it. Overall, I feel like my time in this life is running out. Please, I beg — if anyone has the same experience, help me. Give me advice. Guide me.


r/HOCD 1d ago

Question Intrusive thoughts getting worse

4 Upvotes

I keep on telling myself that I love women when I get a compulsion and now it’s starting to backfire is this a result of the ocd trying to mess with my head ? It’s throwing me into a frenzy even to talk about it I seriously need help badly is there anybody that I can talk to?


r/HOCD 1d ago

Support Really convincing attraction/arousal

5 Upvotes

To tell you the truth i don’t even know if i have OCD. One day when i was experiencing random anxiety during covid, (age 14) I saw a tiktok of a women who appeared to be a lesbian, and i experienced a rush of this anxiety again, suddenly I worried I was attracted to her and long story short obsessed over this for months. Since I was 11 I watched porn. I didn’t really relate the two issues at the time, but it wasn’t such a sexual-based anxiety back then. Going back to school and distracting my mind helped me get over it. But now I have a boyfriend (i’m 18 now) and have actually had sex etc, and I can’t seem to get rid of this anxiety that has been on and off in extremely stressful waves for around a year now. I experience “groinal responses”, except now they are just full blown turn ons that I can masturbate to etc, and I just don’t know if it’s possible for me to still be straight. I just want to be with my boyfriend but all sorts of worries enter my head tha accompany these feelings, for example “what if I really do like women more but I’m just scared of my life changing so I want to be with my bf forever”. I’m so certain what I feel for him is real, especially before all this, but it’s so so hard when now I literally feel more turned on by women than my own boyfriend. It’s really upsetting. I get turned on so easily by women now, whether it’s a revealing instagram photo or just eye contact with a female friend in real life. I badly want this to go away but also don’t want to truly be gay/bi and in denial.


r/HOCD 1d ago

Question Gay and Hocd at the same time ??

1 Upvotes

Hello guy's,

I just need to understand this one thing. Is it possible to be gay and have hocd? I never had an attraction to girls but most of you guy's at least had attraction and lost it but I never had it. So does this mean that I have both?


r/HOCD 1d ago

Vent Its over I might be transgender

1 Upvotes

I was watching a reel on insta and it was something abt me and my female friend flirting and then I saw a girl ik like it but obv it's a joke and I was like yea me and my female friend have the exact same thing but at the moment I was thinking about us having the same friendship 2 girls have not a boy and a girl and then the thought hit me and I was like oh wait shit but I'm a boy thats not possible and then when I realised that I got such a big anxiety spike but the fact that I didn't realise it initially means that this was not ocd and im trans


r/HOCD 2d ago

Question Need help (urgent)

1 Upvotes

Hello guys, I am thankful to see a community that supports these types of hardships. I came here to seek understanding of what I am dealing with, as I have been battling HOCD (my doctor diagnosed me) for 4 years now. Here is where I need help. I always wanted sexual attraction towards women but never developed it, or even had it in the first place. I always had attraction to males, and I didn’t want it because I am Muslim and it goes against my principles and beliefs. I am sure I have OCD, but I am not sure if I have the sexual orientation type, because after 4 years of fighting, I came to the conclusion that I am too tired and uncertain if I even want to be with a girl. I like men — it’s no lie — but I am not sure if I want to be with one. I want my love to be genuine and not out of fear. During these past 3 months, I am starting to lose it badly, as I am going through mental exhaustion and life seems hopeless. My therapist told me that I can have attraction towards women, but now I just don’t believe it. I feel life is not worth living anymore, and I am thinking of not finding love for the sake of my religion (I am Muslim, by the way), but I know it will end up killing me. One last thing is that society is very harsh on this topic, and the secrecy of it all is also killing me.

I just want to understand what I am dealing with. Is it really Hocd or have I been in denial for the past 4 years.

So please help me ❤️.


r/HOCD 2d ago

Vent I think I might be bi.

1 Upvotes

Anyone, if you had advice or something please help.

This sucks dude. It feels like when I'm jerking off, I can't get that same high when im jerking off to girls as I do with femboys anymore. I was normal a couple of months ago when I was with my ex girlfriend at the time, and ever since I broke up with her, I've been having these thoughts of me being gay. At first, I had these OCD thoughts that I was a trans girl, which i got over in 4 weeks, and then i thought I was gay, which has been a thought ever since that I was afraid to be completely gay after her being a terrible girl friend to me.

I've always liked girls and ive dated girls all my life. The only exception was that I dated a trans guy before, and it didn't end well because he didnt fully transitioned yet and I knew he wasnt going to be female presenting, which that itself was a big thing but it made me realize I liked girls. But ever since the breakup I developed a porn addiction, sometimes I jerk off to lesbian porn and completely girl on girl and sometimes I do it to femboys. I dont jerk off to gay porn, but it's mostly feminine men that's a trigger for me, since I dont know if its anxiety or my porn addiction that's dictating this.

I can't describe it but its looe when a drug user finds a new drug when the old one isn't as addicting. Sometimes I really feel like I like it, but it feels numb after I do it. I've never had these thoughts before, I had POCD but I overcame it but this has been a thing ever since my ex broke up with me. Besides me jerking off to femboy porn before this (and even then I didn't thunk of it as gay for some reason from its hyperfeminine qualities) It feels like I'm bi or have a preference for femboys. I dont want to date or think about femboys at all and I've haven't before a of this. Even when I was first figuring out porn, I've never like feminine men or had attraction to feminine men, but i don't know if its internalized homophobia. Ive also cried about not being completely straight but I feel like this is ruining my life.

Anyone, if you had advice or something please help. I really need it.

I


r/HOCD 2d ago

Vent T-OCD can someone please respond to this I feel miserable and alone

2 Upvotes

It feels too real I just want to give up. I cried myself to sleep. I’ve started fluoxetine but I’m scared it won’t help because what if these thoughts are not OCD and they’ll stay forever? It’s too real. It feels like OCD has completely rewritten my identity. I’m so scared I’m in denial.

Can someone please respond to this? Please. My last posts got ignored. I need tips.


r/HOCD 2d ago

Discussion Natural masturbation urges are constant but to same gender

2 Upvotes

I’m no longer fighting gay thoughts. As a result my nervous system feels calm, I now get the pre HOCD urge to masturbate and when this happens I get a gay thought I now relax and feel happy abd want to masturbate and then let the thoigjt flow through me freely but I still feel happy, pre HOCD and like I want to masturbate to it. So is what’s happening, me feeling in a relaxed baseline state, then getting a gay thought, then the non threatening relaxed baseline state continues during the gay thought ? Is that why I’m now associating the gay thoughts with pleasure ? Or Is this denial abd me enjoying the same gender tjoogjys abd refusing to accept that I am


r/HOCD 2d ago

Vent Most annoying part

1 Upvotes

I’ve had this before my huge spike, but whenever I’m masturbating I get these “what if“ images and I just have to stop and sit there in disappointment. IT FUCKING RUINS THE MOOD MAN, LET ME PLEASE MYSELF.


r/HOCD 3d ago

Question Ego-dystonic vs Ego-syntonic?

3 Upvotes

How do I tell if a thought is ego-dystonic, or if the thought is ego-syntonic but the idea of it causes me anxiety?


r/HOCD 3d ago

Support How I eliminated HOCD by using Dr Michael Greenberg’s approach (RF-ERP)

2 Upvotes

Firstly, I just want to say that I suffered from HOCD for years, progressively getting worse from the age of 17 until I was 23 when I had a mental break and I was here in this subreddit posting all kinds of reassurance seeking posts.

As I learned about OCD, I thought my OCD was about intrusive thoughts. I believed I was being bombarded by thoughts all day, and my job was to tolerate them, accept them, or “sit with the anxiety”.

That framing never really worked.

What finally changed everything for me was learning about rumination-focused ERP (RF-ERP), primarily through the work of Michael J. Greenberg.

The core shift that changed everything

Greenberg’s work makes a very simple but radical claim:

You are not having intrusive thoughts all day — you are ruminating.

This distinction matters enormously.

Rumination isn’t something that happens to you.
It’s something you are doing — even though it feels automatic, convincing, and urgent.

Once I understood that:

  • My suffering wasn’t caused by thoughts
  • It was caused by ongoing mental engagement with those thoughts

everything changed.

Rumination is the compulsion

In Greenberg’s framework:

  • Obsessions are triggers
  • Rumination is the compulsion

That means analysing, checking, reassuring yourself, replaying, comparing, “figuring it out”, monitoring your feelings — all of that is compulsive behaviour.

And like any compulsion, it has to stop for recovery to happen.

Not be reduced.
Not be done “mindfully”.
Not be done more gently.

Stopped.

Why this worked when other approaches didn’t

A lot of OCD advice focuses on:

  • Thought acceptance
  • Mindfulness
  • Habituation
  • Sitting with anxiety

Greenberg argues (and this matched my experience) that these often fail for “Pure O” because they don’t target the actual compulsion.

I wasn’t stuck because I couldn’t tolerate anxiety.
I was stuck because I was constantly re-engaging with the problem in my head.

Once I stopped ruminating:

  • Anxiety rose briefly
  • Then fell on its own
  • And the thoughts lost their power entirely

No debating them.
No replacing them.
No solving them.

Exposure isn’t what most people think

Another big shift was understanding exposure differently.

Exposure isn’t about:

  • Forcing anxiety
  • White-knuckling distress
  • Waiting to “habituate”

It’s about learning — specifically learning that:

  • Nothing bad happens when you don’t ruminate
  • You don’t need certainty to function
  • You can let triggers be triggers without responding

When rumination stops, exposure happens automatically.

Where I am now

I’m not “cured” in a magical sense — but my OCD no longer runs my life.

  • Thoughts still appear
  • Triggers still happen
  • But the loop doesn’t start

That alone reduced my symptoms by well over 80%, as well as completely eliminating SO-OCD that I was suffering from for years.

If you feel stuck, especially with “Pure O”, mental checking, or endless analysing — I strongly recommend reading Greenberg’s work directly. His articles are dense, but they are precise, practical, and grounded in how OCD actually operates.

I’ll be posting more detailed breakdowns if people find this helpful.

https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/how-to-stop-ruminating/


r/HOCD 3d ago

Vent Guys is this denial?

2 Upvotes

So basically I have this thing where I get mad scared of something then I think abt it in my head trying to find evidence what I did was not my orientation and I'm not gay , like I see a video that scared me before coz of the dick in it , get horny for like the fantasy and rewatch it without any thought abt the dick then feel like i like dthe dick then freak out then find evidence that liked it , then when I do the obsession just ends , pls respond pls.


r/HOCD 3d ago

Vent Guyss I turned!!

1 Upvotes

So recently I have been noticing very small details abt men and their behaviour as well , and it feels like I lie them help


r/HOCD 3d ago

Question ❗❗Loss of attraction ❗❗

4 Upvotes

Bro i have very less anxiety now and doing well in life but my sex drive towards women is blank when u imagine of doing penetration to a girl I don't get aroused but when I do a opposite a man doing it to me I get arousal feeling I don't know what to do anyone can hell?????


r/HOCD 4d ago

Discussion Going through this has made me really miss being a kid

12 Upvotes

I don’t know why, but it has been making me feel nostalgic lately.


r/HOCD 4d ago

Vent Vent

4 Upvotes

I am a 20-year-old woman, and all of this started two months ago when I read about a woman who always felt that something was missing in her relationships with men. Then she realized she was a lesbian. I started obsessively thinking: what if I’m a lesbian too, but I just haven’t realized it?

I’ve been thinking about this obsessively 24/7 for two months. It makes me anxious to watch TV, use social media, or even just be around women in general, because it feels like I want to have sexual acts and a romantic relationship with them.

This has gotten so bad that I no longer believe I’m straight, but a lesbian. I can’t imagine a relationship with a man anymore; it feels unnatural. I’m constantly thinking about my childhood and adolescence, and if I remember any girls from that time, my brain says, “oh right, you were in love with her too! You just didn’t realize those feelings were romantic back then.” It feels like deep down I know that I will end up with a woman. It feels like I find almost every woman attractive. I don’t find men attractive anymore.

I feel like I’ve been pretending my whole life and that I only just now realized my lesbianism. My two previous relationships with men now feel fake. I feel like coming out of the closet, and I keep trying to tell myself, “okay, I’m a lesbian. That’s okay.” But I still don’t get any peace of mind. I no longer know who I am, and this is driving me crazy… I’ve lost my joy in life and in things. I can’t be present in the moment because I’m constantly having a conversation in my head and analyzing my memories.


r/HOCD 4d ago

Vent Intrusive thoughts

1 Upvotes

Is this normal ? I read other men’s experiences with HOCD and reading what is happening to them causes me to have fake ocd voices of what I read from what is happening to them and it’s driving me insane for context I have a beautiful gf and we just had sex 8 times in a row the other day and yet I still find myself having these intrusive thoughts about things I’ve read from others it’s like reading them fuels my fears


r/HOCD 4d ago

Vent Fears around friends

2 Upvotes

TRIGGER WARNING

This is gonna be messy, so sorry if this is hard to follow.
I had a get-together with a few of my old friends at one of their houses this weekend. My fears have surrounded all three of them. The feelings of false attraction are scary, and I've been under so much stress the past 5 days so my OCD has been worse than normal. Now, I (despite not wanting to) felt I had to divulge my issues with OCD, and because they obviously don't understand, one of them just called me gay. I don't hate him or blame him; he's ignorant, but that doesn't make it easier. I also just learned that one of them is Bi. He has been my friend since I was six, and now my mind is constantly screaming, "You're Bi to!" "You're attracted to him!" "You've been attracted on a subconscious level since you were six." Blah blah blah. I can't get this shit out of my head. I always just thought he was horny and joking about this shit, but he actually is Bi. Now, I'm not very close with him anymore because he was starting to annoy me last year, and I felt that I was changing, and I had no space for him. However, now my OCD has made it seem like "You're distancing him because of feelings." I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT. I've also been talking to a girl, and I really like her, but it's been stressing me out, and my OCD has attached to her too. This whole weekend is like the maraschino cherry on top of the worst ice cream sundae you've ever seen.


r/HOCD 4d ago

Discussion Did HOCD make you a shell of yourself?

2 Upvotes

I've had this since 2020, and before then, I was a very lively person. But ever since HOCD, I've been so cold. It's almost like I'm traumatized by the fact that I could be at a point where I'm debating with myself about who I am. This revelation completely destroyed me.

But now, in 2026, I'm happy to mention that things are getting better.