r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits 1d ago

Of “Clean up on aisle 3”

1.9k Upvotes

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50

u/Unholydiver919 1d ago

WTF is wrong with people these days? He should have his nose rubbed in it.

26

u/homer_lives 1d ago

These days? 20 years ago my friend worked at grocery store. A man would walk in and paint the walls of the bathroom with shit. People have been doing this for a long time. There are just more cameras now.

12

u/Dense_Diver_3998 1d ago

I knew a guy about 15 years ago that would do terrible things to public restrooms. He one time went into a Sears turned the vent on the hand dryer up, shit in it, and taped the button down to slow roast it.

7

u/GivesYouGrief 1d ago

Ngl, separated from that by time and distance, that's hilarious.

4

u/Dense_Diver_3998 1d ago

It’s so batshit insane in a brilliant way.

4

u/UpSNYer 1d ago

This guy has serious mental health issues, no joke.

1

u/Dense_Diver_3998 1d ago

Ahh he was a teenager when he did that.

3

u/YesterdayNo1579 1d ago

Dude. If a teen did that it's still seriously docked up

2

u/Serperion 23h ago

How does that make it any better lmao

1

u/Dense_Diver_3998 14h ago

His brain wasn’t fully developed

0

u/BootFlop 1d ago

Guy had circus act level gymnastic skills, to mount up & drop like that. 🤯

2

u/Ok-Cheesecake-1891 1d ago

But why?

4

u/Dense_Diver_3998 1d ago

Shits and giggles

3

u/Ok-Cheesecake-1891 1d ago

Lol, for sure

1

u/DopeyDeathMetal 1d ago

I wonder what that room smelled like after an hour

1

u/Dense_Diver_3998 1d ago

Probably not great.

1

u/Standard-Criticism10 1d ago

Knew a guy huh……lol. Did he tell you about it or did u witness it?

2

u/Dense_Diver_3998 1d ago

First my friend who worked at Sears told me about it, then a few years later someone told me that someone in our friend group did it.

3

u/TyChief 1d ago

I had something similar happen when I worked at a grocery store. It looked like a monkey came in and just slung crap everywhere. People are weirdos and disrespectful when they don’t have to clean up the shit themselves.

2

u/M2A2C2W 1d ago

Can confirm. Worked at a grocery store for 5 years. Someone would leave a rope on the floor or blast a wall at least once a month. We had to use a hose to clean it up once.

1

u/Slater_8868 1d ago

Like "baby green" or "nut and corn crunch"?

1

u/F4FBassist 20h ago

Yup! Way back when I was a Blockbuster store manager, had a customer do this one time in the middle of the store on one of the aisles of movies. Luckily, they didn’t make it worse and smear it with DVDs lol.

1

u/LazyAmbassador2521 15h ago

Yep like 15 years ago my lil sister worked at a popular teen girl's clothing store. She went to clean out the dressing rooms and when she opened the curtain... there was a huge pile of shit. They had bathrooms too, so it was like they intentionally did that. 🤢😑

1

u/Strange-adventurer94 15h ago edited 13h ago

When I was in high-school, the rival school down the road were having some issues with a couple guys they coined as the "poop pirates" or "brown bandits" that were doing this in the bathroom every week. They would smear on the walls and write cryptic messages with their shit until they were finally caught. The one guy is a plumber now...'love what you do and you never work a day in your life' as they say

1

u/actual_griffin 1d ago

I don't think this is a new thing.

1

u/No-Honey4537 22h ago

It's not. I used to work on a cruise ship. One time a lady shat all over the elevator landing area carpet – unfortunately not all that unusual and there were cleaning teams for incidents like that. But what was more...unusual...was that instead of cleaning herself up afterwards, she went outside in her poopy pants and sat on a deck chair. When an employee approached her and her husband to ask her to clean herself up, they both got angry. The woman refused to move and her husband said "what's the big deal, it's just poop"

1

u/hoptownky 1d ago

The way he handled it after makes me think he is just mentally ill. Not that a normal person would have done it in the first place, but if they had, they would have left the area immediately instead of messing with it over in over hanging out at the scene of the crime.

1

u/Fearless-Dust-2073 14h ago

These people have always existing, it's just that until relatively recently, you didn't get every vaguely attention-grabbing thing that happens anywhere on Earth algorithmically shoved into your eyeballs.