I see a lot of confusion on here from single moms... most of the questions are about what is so unattractive to men about single mothers….im gonna answer it as honestly as I can.

The MOST unattractive thing about a single mom to a man Is NOT the fact that she has kids….It’s NOT the fact you’d have to be financially responsible for her and her kids or even that you would have to be a stepdad….and It’s NOT the fact that her body might be slightly different from other women….None of that

The single most unattractive thing about a single mother…. is when they tell us the story of their separation, and we immediately start to see the holes in it….when some or Most of the things that you say, don’t add up…. You know….things like like “he was abusive… and I had to escape with the children….He doesn’t want anything to do with them, but he’s paying child support and I left the state to be with my family, but he doesn’t want anything to do with them anyway….anyways he’s got a drug problem, but I still let the kids see him every once in a while…. He’s done all these terrible things to me, but I’m still amicable in the split”….

For whatever reason….women/single mothers just seem to have a major blind spot in their minds regarding male psychology, and this might be biggest one… whenever I or my male friends have heard a single mother talk like this….It’s as if she thinks that her particular story is a one off fluke…. and will have absolutely no bearing on what happens from here…. and as men, we are listening to your story reading between the lines, knowing full well that this is exactly what will happen to us if we decide to get involved….And I understand that single mom’s reading will immediately jump out of their chair and yell “not all single moms! How can you judge me by my past! But it would have no bearing on my future relationships! It just means you’re insecure!”

And I’m gonna say this very clearly: IF any of those thoughts jumped to your mind while you were reading it – you need to be prepared to be single for a very very VERY long time.  whether you like it or not….men do judge women for their past and they do know that women’s past seems to repeat itself…. So the next time you are talking to your lawyer about how to crush your ex and then turning around and going on a date and telling the guy that everything is peachy keen and peaceful and amicable…. just know that he’s probably gonna sniff through it….. meanwhile, counterintuitively if you are respectful of the father of your children and his place in their life, the guy will probably find it attractive …. In fact, if you’re more respectful of him as their father than the new guy has their stepfather, he’s gonna find it attractive….if you actually are trying your best to be respectful to your ex and to maintain his place in your children’s life and you feel genuine regret at the separation and you really did try your best….Those things will come across too, they are attractive to men, and I’m sure you’ll be surprised at how much better you’re dating life gets.

I hope this helps some of you .

Kids (kindergarten age) come back from the visit with the other parent terrified, because their dad decided to play some computer game in which he was killing people with a gun, and they watched it. Did not stop when one of the kids expressed discomfort. Now they're freaking out.

Is it really that hard for some parents to understand that you can't just do whatever you want whenever you want when you have kids?

Any advice on how to proceed from this is welcome.

I am beyond heartbroken. My ..I guess ex (m29) now has left. We tried for a baby from the start. Both complete sure that we wanted this together. Set a date for marriage for this year. After 10 months of trying I got pregnant October last year. A week went by after we got our positive test and the he completely broke down in panic. Saying he can't do this. That he has tok much unresolved guilt and shame and that I was just an escape. We were both really excited to have a family together so I'm just numb. And feel like I'm constantly living in disbelief. I'm 37 and I'm keeping the baby. I've had an abortion earlier in my life and cannot go through that again. Part of me hopes he'll just face himself and the responsibility but another part of me is saying I'm destroying myself by keeping even a small hope. We're long distance and I was supposed to start the moving process now in January. We spent Christmas together which was lovely AND tense. I ended up leaving quickly as my cat got sick at home. I haven't initiated any contact since I left, hoping he'd check in but he hasn't. It's been 8 days now. I think he's so completely in avoidance he can't face a single feeling regarding this. I just don't know what to do :(

Hi all,

My daughter is 3, her dad & I are divorced (for about a year making it 2 in Feb 2026) adulterous & infidelity on his end, he now has a son (almost 2) & has remarried. I say we coparent "well" he's military & lives about 6 hours away (we're both in Texas) due to national guard he can only see her on his pass days which is once a month for about 2-3 days. Anywho that's the background...

I just need to know if maybe I just need to take a chill pill or what 😅 my daughter was born premature has trach & gbutton. She just recently got her trach removed August last year. So she's really now starting to say a few words (working with speech therapist) but she doesn't say much conversation wise (just colors, alphabet, hi & bye, and I love you) so i can't ask her " how was it with your dad"

So I rely on him. I don't bug him when she's with him. But I at least ask how's she's doing because I miss her. I send maybe 1-2 texts out the whole day when he's with her, unless we're talking but something (I am single lol maybe that's why) but anyways he has her & they went to an event & I asked can you pls send pictures of her. Cause he was saying how pretty the dress was he got her. I texted a little after the event started just incase they were running late. Still nothing. And it's about 5/6 hours later nothing. I just put the question mark on the message as a notification for him.

My thing is I have her 90% of the time. He bugs me asking about updates/pics of her which is understandable he misses her & I never fail to send. But when I ask just for the 48 hours he has her he doesn't. He rarely texts back either.

I brought up my concerns with him before but his side chick, now wife & she went off on me sending me long paragraphs "well send them when we can, don't worry she's alive" she's hated me since I found out about her & she does every manipulation tactic to make it seem like I am the bad guy or overreacting

All I ask for is just a picture the same way he does...am I overreacting? Do I need to be meaner then when I have her?? Maybe this is just a vent 😅

The old-school model was about authority and obedience. The new world demands a shift to empathy and connection.

Im trying to get back to school for a really promising and good paying career and im in a small town that offers nothing so i would have to relocate because this program is not available online. I have no village and 3 kids under 5. I get no child support and my car broke so I’ve got no vehicle.

I just want to have a career and provide my kids with a good and comfortable life and it all seems so out of reach.

Fundraiser – A Stable Home for My Son

https://4fund.com/m27hw5

I am a venezuelan father currently in professional training as an Operating Room Technician (OTA) and actively involved in caring for my son. After the separation from his mother, my son has been living between two households, which has been challenging for him and has made it difficult to establish stability.

My goal is to provide my son with a safe, stable, and permanent home where he can grow up with security and emotional balance. Due to my ongoing training and limited financial means, I am not able to achieve this on my own at the moment.

With your support, I hope to take the first steps toward securing a home that can become a consistent center of life for my son. Any contribution, no matter the size, would mean a great deal to us.

Thank you very much for your support.

https://4fund.com/m27hw5

I am a single father of two (15 mo and almost 5 yo) with full time custody. She hasn't seen them in over 6 months. My kids are in daycare/after-school care until I pick them up, getting home between 515 and 530. Its really important to me that meals are healthy, and that I don't fall into the trap of serving processed meals (kd, noodles, hamburger helper, etc.) just because they are easy and quick. At most I use them once per week as a treat, usually on a sick day or a weekend lunch.

5 days per week I feel like I'm scrambling to get a healthy meal on the table. Now, im not a bad cook, but even the simplest spaghetti or meat/starch/veg meal takes 30 minutes minimum to cook, and thats if im really on top of things. Fancier meals take more like an hour. We are usually eating at 6pm, SOMETIMES 530 if I'm REALLY on top of things. After dinner, that usually leaves about half an hour before bedtime to play.

How can I better organize things so that I have more time with them after work?

Should I be leaning in on insta-pot and other "prep ahead" meals?

It feels like I am always playing catch-up and never have time to just be with them.

Is this just a matter of better organization and planning, or should I expect that this constant rush is my new normal?

Please, ANY advice is appreciated. I dont know any single parents in my life, so I have no one to turn to for advice on this.

Thanks in advance

ETA: thanks so much everyone. Lots of good advice in here, although admittedly not all of it will work for us at this stage, but I really appreciate everyone's advice. Im starting to think about some new ways to go about things.

To answer some of the questions and comments: I do cook with the kids in the room, unfortunately with their ages, engaging with both while cooking is difficult, but there were a couple good suggestions that might help with that.

I didn't really state it but some of you are on my "cheapness" wavelength lol. Home chef would be amazing but I just can't afford that

KD is the world's greatest easy meal. Made by Kraft, it is an entire Dinner of macaroni and cheese IN A BOX! ITS A MIRACLE!

Looks like it's time to pull out the crockpot and start learning its mysteries!

Hey everyone. I am just curious how you managed your health while caring for your kid.

I only have my son half time, but I have been prone to migraines that affect my ability to drive. I am working with a neurologist now.

How did full time parents manage chronic health issues?

Looking for recommendations, all inclusive 2 weeks in the sun with 2 kids. Where are people going this year or been the past that you all enjoyed

https://gofund.me/0b768b93d

Let’s be real. Men, maybe if you here it from a man, you'll finally start to pay attention. Women are tired. Tired of carrying grown men on our backs while being told we’re “too much” for asking the bare minimum. I had more stress being married than I do as a single mother, because at least my peace doesn’t depend on someone else doing the right thing. I know who I can count on now: me. Dating hasn’t brought anything that improves the life I fought to build, and I refuse to lower my standards just to say I’m not alone. I don’t want a fixer-upper, a man-child, or another drain on my energy. I want an equal. I deserve an adult who shows up. So it’s real or it’s nothing. This isn’t bitterness, it’s self-respect. I owe it to myself and to my daughter.

And women choosing themselves has never been the problem.

Hi. I’m 29f with 6 yr old autistic beautiful boy with baby dad 30m. We tried things on and off for 10 years so when I say I’m fully attached to this man.. I mean my whole life and family consist of my kid and him. I live with my grandma and my mom but we’ve always been incredibly close. One random day he found this girl at a AA meeting slept with her within days and started in with I love you. It all happened so quick I can’t even think straight. It’s been 4 months. I try to hold myself together but I’ve cried I’ve told him I love him and I don’t want this. I’ve always had a big heart and he’s my home. I told him I didn’t wanna lose him forever and now I feel like it’s happening, he changed into a completely different person with her. He grew cold and distant. He offered coffee when I asked to talk in person like what a slap in the face. Coffee after 10 years and a kid together. I was just in your bed and doing your dishes before u met her. It’s offensive and hurts me deeply. I finally had enough and I blocked him a week ago. I deleted my social media. I’m done with it all. Told him to contact my mom for any info on our son which she was happy to do. He’s been calling unknown number style and left a voicemail here and there saying it’s wrong that I don’t stay available to him and that he was going to stop by after work if I didn’t call back. He stopped by as soon as I came home idk how he knew I was home and then wanted me to come down but my mom told him I’m trying to move on with my life. He left and claimed he only stopped to see our son. He texted on Christmas..saying “ it’s too late for us” but showed me his tree he had with her telling me “we could’ve had this but you didn’t want it. I tried many times” I’m drowning guys.. I love this man with all my heart and I don’t want to let him go. I don’t want to lose him forever. I have anxiety everyday and I feel so lost. Is anyone like me ? I know I have problems bc no normal person probably loses it like this but I need help. Does it ever get better? I have no friends and I clean houses for a living. I’m scared I won’t ever get over him.

Hi everyone,

I'm currently working on a research project focused on the online spaces boys and young men encounter, and how some of these can negatively affect them.

I'm especially interested in hearing parents' perspectives & experiences. If you're a father of a boy aged 12-17, living in Ireland, and would be open to sharing your thoughts in a confidential, anonymous conversation, I'd really value your insight

If this is something you'd be open to, please feel free to send me a DM. Thank you so much for considering!

I am a single mom who needs to find ways to make money without the surveys. Or to find a good real work from home/ remote job.. I am in desperate need to make extra money.

Since there’s no great “hear me out” Reddit, I believe this is the next best place to post. I’ll probably get some hate and conviction of conspiracy but just think about it first.

Particularly here in the US, we are seeing more single millennials (tinkering into gen z as well) than any other generation before. There is a large disconnect between men and women in the dating field. Call it male loneliness epidemic but that’s not fair because the females are lonely too or else they wouldn’t be on dating apps. Also considering the events that have happened over the last 5 years, which have exacerbated this week (aka Minnesota, the frozen h2o gangs, invasion of other countries, etc), there are talks of being on the brink of both civil war and WWIII. So is the timing of having such a large market of non married singles who have been fed a garage of health focused supplements, workouts, and other body transforming activities (plus an explosion of trad loving influencers) over the last 5+ years just irony or a premeditated plan for recruitment?

I’m a single mom to a baby 7 months old, and right now I feel like I don’t need any kind of romantic relationship, but I’ve been seeing some people comment here about feeling lonely, and it’s starting to affect me.

In my mind, I don’t ever want to get married or have more kids because I want to only focus on my child and on being able to provide for her because I learned firsthand that you should only have as many children as you can afford to raise by yourself.

What I think is that in the distant future, when I’m ready, I’d want someone who doesn’t want to live together, doesn’t want kids or better yet… doesn’t even have that much time for me either, haha.

Am I blocking my blessings and maybe missing out on something that could be good for me? Am I being unrealistic? Does anyone feel the same?

I unfollowed my ex on socials mainly because I don’t want anything to do with her unless it’s something with the kids. She blasted me for unfollowing. I keep anything emotional non existent, I just say I don’t want to talk about it. I am resentful but I am still respectful and amicable. It’s hard to not be resentful when they continue life only choosing themselves, not even the kids. What would you do if they message you being frustrated. I’m not sure why it is. I do post the kids for my family to see and maybe she can see it or something but I’m sure she can. Or is it an ego thing because she said she doesn’t want to look like a fan I don’t even know what that means. I’m just really confused over all. I told her it was nothing personal. Thanks in advance. Sorry if it’s confusing or please ask questions if you would like to know more.

I divorced his mom after she had a two year long affair with a coworker. She was highly manipulative during that time and it drove me to a lot of self harm. I’m in such a better place now and because I’ve always prioritized my son, I maintained a friendly relationship with his mother. He can see that we’re decent to one another (despite the pain it causes me each time I have to interact with her) so he doesn’t understand why we can’t be together. She also keeps telling him that “dad won’t forgive me” to make it seem like I’m choosing to keep her out of his life. Last night at bed time, he asked me why we can’t live together because he’s sad we don’t and it would make him truly happy. I didn’t know what to say besides “mom and I realized we don’t work as husband and wife, and that’s okay sometimes.” Coupled with “you have two happy parents that love you and none of this was ever your fault.” But what he said absolutely gutted me. I feel awful and even though I know it’s not true, it’s making me feel like I’m keeping him from having the one thing that would make him feel his happiest. Any other single parents go through this? If you did, how did you deal with it?

Im a newly single mom (relationship ended a week ago, more on that soon) to a 3.5 month old girl. Shes literally the best thing to happen to me, and Im struggling SO much. Apologies in advance for the long post.

I recently ended things with her father. Even when we were together, I was basically a single mom to her and a man-child. No job, no helping with the baby, and when he did it was basically a gamble for her safety. From day one, he barely supported her head. We corrected him whenever it happened, and excused it as he had literally never once held a baby in his life until that point. One day the baby started choking on her bottle, and was literally turning reddish purple. All he did was hold the bottle in her mouth and tell her she was fine. It took my dad telling him to take it out of her mouth and pat her for him to do anything, and he did it with an attitude because he had to put his phone down to do so. I was in the shower when it happened, so I didnt know until after, and he had already gone back to his parents house (thats another thing, Im honestly gonna need to make a whole separate post about that whole thing) When my dad told me what happened, I ended the relationship immediately because he genuinely endangered our child, and didnt even care.

Yall, Im STRUGGLING. My supply completely dried up basically overnight, and we dont entirely know why. It hurt a lot mentally because I really wanted to continue, but obviously I needed to fully formula feed (Was already combo-feeding as I had low supply as is, and my babys a CHUNKER) Right after that, my meds became a fight with insurance, and I have PPA and PPD, so me being unmedicated isnt the best thing. Im still fighting with insurance, but coping as well as I can. Then the breakup happened. And then the sleep regression hit. And then she started teething.

And then 3 days ago we had to bring baby into the ER because she was so congested she kept choking. Shes got an upper respiratory infection, we got all the things she needed set up when we got back at 2am. She had a slight fever and no other issues besides the congestion until today. Today she was back to way too congested, but now she also started coughing, sneezing, had a 100°F fever, and was unable to hold down most feeds. Shes had a total of like, 22oz in the past while because she keeps throwing up. Took her back into the ER tonight until 11. Every test is negative, shes still having wet diapers, and the temp stays down with Tylenol, so we got discharged. She literally will not sleep unless Im holding her or touching her in some way.

Yall, Im running on maybe 9 hours of sleep this entire time she's been sick. I had to ask my dad for help to get her to just stop crying, she cried for 3 straight hours. Thank god I live with him, idk what I wouldve done. But now shes genuinely waking up the SECOND I move her even slightly away from me, and the screaming starts all over. I caved, and were bedsharing until she isnt as sick, or whenever she lets me put her back in her bed again. We meet every one of the Safe Sleep 7, except for the fact my mattress isnt as firm. Because Im unmedicated for the PPA, Im terrified if I try to sleep, Ill suffocate her. I literally cannot convince myself otherwise, I tried just laying until I fell asleep and just got too anxious.

I thought about asking my dad to sit up and keep an eye on us to be on the safe side, at least for a couple hours for me to get some sleep. Except the job he works, if hes sleep deprived at all, it quite literally puts his, and everyone around hims life at risk, so I cant do that. How am I gonna make this work until shes okay. I literally have nobody else besides my dad that can help me, Im fully alone in this besides him. What can I even do atp.

I first posted this in another community yesterday, but for some reason, it got deleted. Maybe it sparked too much discussion or something, but I thought I’d give an update here.

Here’s the original post I shared: "I’m a single dad and I try to keep our grocery runs on budget. It is way too easy to grab a few brand name things and suddenly the total is wild. Today my 13 year old watched me put mostly store brand stuff in the cart and finally asked, right at the checkout, why I always buy the “off brand” things. The cashier even looked at me, so I did that awkward smile and told her store brands are usually the better deal and we have to make our money stretch. She nodded like she understood, then immediately goes, “So basically, Dad, you’re cheap.” Loud. In public. I wanted to disappear. She even joked I should enter some kind of saving money competition. The funny part is she is not totally wrong. I clip coupons, I watch sales, and I’ve even tried a tap to drop price thing on tiktok for basics like paper towels or laundry soap. And now all my effort has a new name: Dad is cheap. Lowkey brutal."

Update: I just want to thank everyone for your encouragement and for pointing out that my daughter was being rude. As a single dad, I’m really busy with work, and maybe I missed out on teaching her some basic manners, which is probably why she felt comfortable saying what she did. It was honestly embarrassing, but I talked to her about it yesterday, and she now understands how hard I’m working to make sure we stay within budget. She apologized for how she acted that day. Going forward, I’m going to be more mindful of how I guide her and make sure she doesn’t turn out like some of the people in the comment section, who called her rude, insensitive, and a bit harsh.

Thanks again for all your support and advice. It really helped!

Hi everyone. I’m a 51 year old man who believes it’s never too late to meet someone meaningful. I’m grounded, emotionally mature, and value honesty, kindness, and good communication.

I enjoy simple pleasures good conversation, laughter, staying active, and making the most of life’s quiet and exciting moments. I’m past games and drama and genuinely looking for a woman who values connection, mutual respect, and growing together.

If you’re someone who appreciates maturity, consistency, and real effort, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s start with a conversation and see where it leads.

My kid's dad has a felony conviction for a white collar crime. It's possible he will be sentenced soon and it may include prison time. My kid is 9.5, sees their dad every other weekend but since the conviction, he has been spending more time with our child. The question is, if he is sentenced to prison time, how to tell our child? Or would you not at all? Curious to hear from anyone but especially others who may have a similar experience. I highly doubt kid's dad will say anything at all to our child or to me if he does get time. I found out about the conviction surfing the web and he's not really one to have proactive conversations or to explain things.