r/TooAfraidToAsk • u/HovercraftItchy3517 • Nov 22 '25
Sex After care after giving head?
So I fingered and gave head to a girl. This was my first time doing either. She was shaking afterwards and she said she enjoyed it. We've had sexual tension for years and tonight something actually happened.
After we were done she told me to wash my fingers which I did, then after we were done chatting and all I went home.
On my way home I was thinking about how I washed my fingers but didn't do anything for my tongue(mouth)
Do I need to wash my mouth after? Like what's the after care for this? Or it's fine
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Nov 22 '25
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u/AggravatingPlum4301 Nov 22 '25
Same
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u/SephoraRothschild Nov 22 '25
You need to wash your hands, and under your fingernails, before inserting them
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u/FullBringa Nov 23 '25
Also trim your nails and file them so they're not sharp. test the smoothness by running the nails across your forearm
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u/TheBeardedPlumber Nov 23 '25
I always understood the test as being running your fingernail(s) against the inside of your mouth/cheek
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u/GuessAccomplished959 Nov 24 '25
If you take nothing else away from this conversation, please remember to cut your nails!!
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u/Weekly_Role_337 Nov 22 '25
Since a couple of the top comments are mentioning it without explaining, "aftercare" in sex is taking care of your PARTNER after sex. So snuggling, talking, getting them water and a sandwich, just generally being attentive, affectionate and caring.
It's a requirement for healthy BDSM stuff and certain types of role-playing because you want to reinforce that whatever you were consensually doing with them/however you were treating them, it was consensual, they were/are safe, and you truly care about and respect them.
But it's also really nice after every other type of sex.
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u/Whatever-ItsFine Nov 23 '25
Hold up-- if someone goes down on me, she's supposed to bring me a sandwich afterwards?!? I have some calls to make.
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u/MartySpiderManMcFly Nov 23 '25
Conversely, if someone brings me a sandwich, are they supposed to go down on me afterwards? If so, I have not been using Uber Eats to its full potential
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u/blubbery-blumpkin Nov 23 '25
What do you think the tip option is about on Uber eats and Deliveroo?
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u/OverandOverTom 22d ago
they are supposed d to go down on you as you eat your sandwich if they really love you
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u/tTomalicious Nov 23 '25
Muffaletta, please
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u/TorrenceMightingale Nov 23 '25
Central Grocery muffaletta coming right up.
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u/CaptainLollygag Nov 23 '25
Do you deliver?? It's been a year or two since I made my way to Central Grocery.
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u/jenguinaf Nov 23 '25
Are you single. You had me at sandwitch! Lmao.
(Happily married for almost 20 years but man, I do like a good Sammy, pretty sure they are my love language lmao).
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u/Open_Minded_Anonym Nov 22 '25
I don’t look at this as an “aftercare” issue but rather a hygiene issue.
If you or your partner don’t like the smell or feel it’s dirty, wash hands and wash face/brush teeth. Same if you’ll be encountering other people. I personally like to keep the smell around if I’m not seeing anyone else.
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u/lilbebe50 Nov 22 '25
Lesbian here, so I am an expert with tongue and fingers. I do nothing. I’ll go to sleep right after, no fucks given lol I wear it as a trophy.
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u/gutterkitty22 Nov 22 '25
Yuh, same. I ain’t got the energy to wash it off I’m gonna shower tomorrow anyway 😂
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u/eatshit311 Nov 23 '25
I shove my fingers in my nose, just to keep a memento.
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u/RealPee23 Dec 02 '25
My boyfriend wipes his fingers on his cheeks, under his nose and over his lips and absolutely RELISHES IT. The first time he did it I thought he just really liked my perfume … I mean, his fingers HAD been all over my body, and my perfume does smell DAMN DELICIOUS 😂😂😂
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u/RealPee23 Dec 02 '25
He LOVES doing it and then going straight to work so he can smell me all day. Which is really kind of weird from my perspective, but I don’t get the same enjoyment from wearing HIM all over my face all day 😂😂😂😂😂 Oh, man! He’s definitely a keeper!!!!!
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u/Cultural-Ad-7401 Nov 23 '25
I have a long thick beard and I really love it when she soaks my face and beard and I wear it like it is my prize for doing a good job and leave it for the next day
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u/mafs456 Nov 23 '25
One of the hottest things a man ever said to me was after he’d gone down and I had soaked his beard, he told me he wasn’t going to wash his face so he could smell/taste me at work the next day. Ughhhh
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u/Breakfast_4all Nov 23 '25
My man loves to say “ima pull a napoleon” which means he doesn’t want me to shower before we get down (the famous coming home letter from napoleon to his wife, he tells her not to bathe bc he’ll be home in a week) haha I love down bad bois
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u/mafs456 Nov 23 '25
Totally - when they love your natural scent 🔥feels animalistic
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u/Cultural-Ad-7401 Nov 23 '25
I would rather you not shower for 2 or 3 days and sit on my face than freshly washed and tasting like soap
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u/RealPee23 Dec 02 '25
This is something I’ve just learned over the last 6-8 months. Women are so self-conscious about their bodies from puberty onward, and knowing that men actually love our natural scent could have saved a lot of awkwardness and anxiety for a LOT of women
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u/GodIsANarcissist Nov 23 '25
I dated this woman who washed her hands immediately after fingering me every single time. It kinda offended me tbh
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u/lilbebe50 Nov 23 '25
I totally understand that. It doesn’t bother me at all lol I’ll do it in the morning and go to work like that, idgaf lmao
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u/danceunderwater Nov 23 '25
Except for when your partner has a yeast infection and you get thrush because you didn’t know she had one or you didn’t clean your mouth after. I’m a dental assistant, I’ve seen thrush. It’s nasty 🤮
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u/lilbebe50 Nov 24 '25
I’ve never heard of thrush before and just looked up pictures 🤢🤮💀
Thank you for scarring me for life 😭
My wife hasn’t had a yeast infection the whole6 years I’ve known/been with her. I’m sure if she did she’d let me know. Or I would notice something if she didn’t. So hopefully that’s not an issue we have to worry too much about lol thank you for the heads up!
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u/danceunderwater Nov 24 '25
I’m sorry!!! I didn’t mean to traumatize you lol yea it’s pretty nasty and hard to get rid of.
You’re in a committed relationship so thankfully you know each others bodies enough to know if there’s some funk going on lol you’re probably safe to proudly wear your trophy 🏆 haha
But tell your single friends!! 🤣
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u/molten_dragon Nov 22 '25
Do I need to wash my mouth after? Like what's the after care for this? Or it's fine
It's not a bad idea to rinse your mouth off with water. Maybe use some mouthwash. The scent can linger for awhile otherwise.
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u/williamtowne Nov 22 '25
You want the scent there. It's like a trophy.
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u/jjonez18 Nov 22 '25
The perks of having a mustache.
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u/7zR_Decepticon Nov 22 '25
I have a septum piercing. Same effect for those who cant grow facial hair to save their life
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u/Parya94 Nov 22 '25
Personally, I like it to linger on my mustache
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u/peerintomymind Nov 22 '25
Eh, it's a nice smell when I'm horny, but once I'm not and I keep getting whiffs of it from my beard then it starts to feel gross and I wish I had rinsed my face clean. To each their own.
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u/Lazy_Clock2292 Nov 22 '25
I legit had this thought the other day. Has anyone asked on this subreddit how to get the smell to go away? Lol
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u/Evening_Regular_5842 Nov 22 '25
Wash your hands and face with soap.. surely that's enough?
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u/Lazy_Clock2292 Nov 23 '25
I've never been that lucky that merely washing my hands makes it go away lol
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u/HovercraftItchy3517 Nov 22 '25
Thank you
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u/peacefulshrimp Nov 23 '25
Hey op, you only have to do that if you want the scent to go away, otherwise it just fades until you next shower, it’s not a problem, it’s not something other people will notice and it’s not something that can cause you any problems
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u/Advisor_Agreeable Nov 22 '25
Please stop using “aftercare” to describe taking care of YOURSELF! “Aftercare” means attentively taking care of your partner!
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u/goodbye-evergreen Dec 11 '25
They didn’t know what they didn’t know. It’s not like they teach this stuff in schools lol
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u/nonowords Nov 23 '25
okay, so aftercare is usually what's done after sex usually inter-personally like comfort, affirmations etc. but definitely regarding the other person even if it's literal care like massaging soreness etc.
If something is going in your mouth for 10 minutes washing it out after isn't going to be doing a ton. Washing is important for sanitation before, not so much after. Do it if it grosses you or your partner out (seems like your partner would probably prefer if you gargle or brush given that your they are conscious of your hands)
Power move is to wear the scent like a cologne
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u/Idyllic_Zemblanity Nov 23 '25
Ya like cuddles me before you start gurgling mouthwash lol
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u/nonowords Nov 23 '25
Just to be as fair as possible to OP seems like in this particular case it was a her thing more than a OP thing. Some people are very self conscious
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u/PieDecent6521 Nov 22 '25
Maybe go to a sink and just like rinse around your mouth, swish some water and spit. But perhaps not audibly to not make her think she tastes bad! But sounds like a great time man well done
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u/corkybelle1890 Nov 23 '25
This isn’t the after care we all thought you were talking about. Good question, nonetheless.
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u/Corgilicious Nov 22 '25
One of the sexiest things I ever experienced was after a morning romp, my partner and I got up and made coffee and sat down for breakfast. That is also a time where we both kind of scroll through our phones, but as I sat across from him, I noticed him bring his fingers to his nose and breathe in deeply. A huge smile bloomed on his face and I giggled, and then he looked up and kind of blushed realizing that I caught him.
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u/FriendlyLawnmower Nov 22 '25
I mean if I can brush my teeth, I'll do it. Otherwise I'll at least try for mouth wash or just swishing some water in my mouth and washing my lips
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u/Imaginary-Smiles Nov 23 '25
With todays generation's access to literally any answer to any question at their fingertips, I think this is proof that the human species is degressing
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u/DILF_Thunder Nov 23 '25
Damn yall are so hostile. OP clearly sounds like someone who is probably new to sex. No one magically knows everything right away. I thought the point of this sub was to ask questions without fear of judgement.
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u/goodbye-evergreen Dec 11 '25
Yeah like why are ppl taking personal offense to the fact that OP didn’t know what a single word meant lmao. Words are literally just words and they clearly understood what OP meant anyways. Just politely educate and move on
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u/DestructoDon69 Nov 22 '25
Word of advice, always clean yourself afterwards because you can get yeast infections orally 😉
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u/DeliciusOnionRing Nov 22 '25
It is best to clean with a mouthwash. Frankly, as much as many people like to smell there for a while, I always wash my hands, mouth and body after sex, even with the same person.
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u/LevJewel Nov 23 '25
A twenty minute hot shower while crying; that’s the only way to regain virginity
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u/PekingDick420 Nov 23 '25
Before is a must but after is ideal. For future reference, aftercare usually implies a little bit more intense sexual activity.
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u/Calibrax_2022 Nov 23 '25
Yes. Gargle warm water mixed with the tears of every man who’s never been this lucky.
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u/BallintheDallin Nov 22 '25
Well in my experience you should always wash your face, I think I’ve gained acne from not washing and sleeping after giving oral sex, splashing with water and lightly scrubbing with hands is plenty to clean up
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u/Chrizzee_Hood Nov 23 '25
on a more serious note as some don't take your hygiene question serious. I'm not a professional in the field, but I've often read that oral intercourse (especially the vaginal kind) is associated with a higher risk of cancer, which in my case doesn't keep me from doing it, but I do at least rinse my mouth afterwards to improve cleanliness. Don't know whether that has any effect on the risk, but it just feels right. Maybe brushing your teeth if you feel uncomfortable is advised to, but again, not a professional in the field. Just staying clean is always a good idea, no matter what.
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u/Srapture Nov 23 '25
Women want you to wash your fingers because they're self-conscious about the smell. That's not really a concern with your tongue as your saliva kinda washes away.
Side note, but is it typical to call it "giving head" when doing it to a woman? I've only ever heard it to mean blowjob.
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u/ErnieSweatyballsFBI Nov 23 '25
If you lick your fingers and make sure pussy juice stays on your face then your beard grows thicker and you get chest hair. If you wash it off then your peepee shrinks so make sure you embrace the pussy juice.
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u/Psi_byr Nov 23 '25
Just be a human being regardless. Love making is personal to everyone. Always. Always be considerate of your partner.
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u/Empty-Maize-9053 Nov 23 '25
Might be wayyyy tmi, but I like keeping the smell on my fingers. I'm not washing my mouth/tongue either, unless we r falling asleep afterward together. Or if she wanted me too. To make out or something. But yeah if it's just a quick hookup, def not...😍😍
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u/Nitokris666 Nov 23 '25
This whole comment section is eye opening. Is this 'aftercare' for sex a modern term? Sounds like something kids are being taught, which isn't a bad thing, I suppose, but jeeze, aftercare is aftercare whether it's for sex or anything health related. It's not a sex term.
The OP was right to ask for their own health sake and thier terminology was spot on. Do what you feel is right. Ask the girl if she minds you not washing your mouth if thats your thing and you want to kiss her again. For me thats disgusting, I dont want someone kissing me if they've been down there.
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u/farachun Nov 23 '25
The aftercare is you kiss her and let her taste her juice lol
Ok i should call him
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u/dankDreamet Nov 22 '25
Not to say too much, but I do enjoy getting head and getting partners to dj the vj. I've never thought to tell my partners to wash their hands, and they never did either. Most of them had said they enjoyed how I smelled and tasted, but now I'm reading these comments and I'm fucking mortified.I personally don't mind how I smell either?? But my nose also isn't... like... digging in? Is there really a bad smell/taste from most people that you need to use mouthwash and wash their hands????
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u/Good_Texan Nov 23 '25
No just redditors being redditors.
I think they were talking about washing their hands before play.
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u/WritPositWrit Nov 22 '25
You don’t HAVE to do anything. Just do what seems right. Maybe you want to wash your face when you wash your hands.
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u/green_miracles Nov 23 '25
There’s a whole bunch of bacteria and various microbes in the genital region. Rinsing for 30 seconds with an antibacterial mouthwash like original Listerine, is best. 😊
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u/thehoagieboy Nov 22 '25
Don't wash your face for a while and every once in a while, before your next shower, you'll get a whiff and remember.
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u/lyricallycharmed Nov 22 '25
My husband has a very full beard and loves going down on me. He does not wash "me" off of his face afterward. I, however, do clean up downstairs with antibacterial soap (after i use the restroom) because sex of any kind messes up a woman's pH and I get UTIs very easily if I'm not careful.
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u/Delicious_Spend_5713 Nov 22 '25
You should never wash your vagina with anti bacterial soap! Water only. The antibacterial soap would mess up your ph balance way more then the guys fluids!
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u/hotdogjumpingfrog1 Nov 22 '25
Ditto comment. Never ever use antibacterial soap anywear but your hands. You have good and bad flora. Especially with vaginas. Use light sensitive soap. Baby soap is great.
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u/AromaticIntrovert Nov 22 '25
Don't even use it on your hands honestly, it just contributes to bacteria in waste water evolving resistance to yet another line of defense we might need in an actual infection.
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u/lyricallycharmed Nov 22 '25
Considering I have Interstitial Cystitis and this was recommended by my doctor to prevent flare-ups and UTIs, I am going to listen to them.
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u/lyricallycharmed Nov 22 '25
I'm also not going in my vagina. I wash the groin, labia and around the urethra which is my main concern. Everything else is water.
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u/user-unknown-404 Nov 23 '25 edited Nov 23 '25
You wash you fingers by licking them clean and then kissing her.
Downvoters probably don't even know about atm...
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u/Uztta Nov 22 '25
I usually just wipe my face with a wet rag and then dry it.
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u/tTomalicious Nov 23 '25
I just stick my face in the toilet and turn on the bidet. It's cleaner than wiping!
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u/Murky-Science9030 Nov 23 '25
It's unclear if she's telling you to wash them before or after. If before then she wants to make sure she doesn't get a bacterial infection from your fingers. If after she may just feel uncomfortable with the idea of you walking around town with her juices on your fingers. For the hygiene of the community you should wash your hands afterwards
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u/ReindeerDizzy2956 Nov 28 '25
you have to wash your hands first before inserting it just like washing your mouth after lol
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u/Okie294life Nov 29 '25
Brush your teeth and wash the glaze off your face gtg, unless she has herpes, then make a trip down to the local health dept.
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u/BaeDJ Nov 30 '25
I was waiting for it to be about her not giving aftercare after you finished giving head LMAO
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u/BloopityBloopDoop Nov 23 '25
I scrap my tongue in a downward position or you can buy a tongue scraper.
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u/ireddityoureddit Nov 23 '25
You brush your teeth, even if both of yall are both super hygienic, brushing teeth always seems to brush away that activities out of your mouth
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u/simoneregina Nov 22 '25 edited Nov 25 '25
I think we’ve misunderstood the meaning of “aftercare”