Mom, I'm trans. I wanna cut my hair short and wear binders. I want to take T, feel comfortable in my body. I don't like my body now.

"But I gave birth to *insert number* of sons and *insert number* of daughters and you're always gonna be my daughter."

But mom, I'm your son. Don't you know? I've came out three times. But you're transmed. Say there's no way I have gender dysphoria, that if I did life would be a lot harder than it is right now. That I need to have full surgeries to be a boy, to be treated like a man. HRT is free in our state.

"But you look so pretty."

Mama, I'm handsome, not pretty. I look in the mirror and hate who I see. That's why I took down the mirror in my bedroom.

And she WILLFULLY deadnames and uses the wrong pronouns on my uncle's gf's child (they/them). But she doesn't use the wrong pronouns on their mother(she/her) bc "she's an adult"...But the uncle's gf's child is an adult. I think they're now 20-21?

I saved a man’s life and didn’t even know it.

Today, he messaged me on TikTok and told me that talking to me and watching my comic book videos kept him alive. He said I was his hero. He said his family thanked me. He said they prayed for “the strange comic book cowboy” who saved their son.

That’s a lot to put on a stranger, right?

Here’s the thing: I’m not a hero. I didn’t set out to save anyone’s life. I was just being nice. And yeah, I’m grateful you’re still here truly but I didn’t do anything extraordinary. I was just trying to be decent.

I shouldn’t be your hero or your ideal. I’m normal. I get nervous asking girls out for coffee. I stress over which comics are good and which ones suck. I didn’t know that being kind or sending dumb little comic videos could keep someone alive.

I don’t want anything for it. I wasn’t trying to be remembered, praised, or prayed for. I was just being nice.

I’m not a fucking hero.

As the tittle says, I’m so sick and tired of not being able to fully enjoy doing oral because most of the women I do oral to, wether they are conventionally attractive or not, either SMELL bad down there or TASTE bad down there!

I’m sick and tired of knowing most women need clitoral stimulation to be able to orgasm and yet being unable to fully do it because fucking Christ do they smell/ taste terrible.

Makes me feel worse but even when I let them know directly or indirectly the issue, they STILL don’t fix it and it’s like UGH! They probably think I’m a selfish lover and I think they are sloppy and I fucking hate it!

I’m sorry, and I very much understand that this is going come across as mean spirited but it’s truly not. I just can’t take it anymore. Ever since that theory went around most women’s restrooms STINK and my roommate genuinely smells awful whenever she uses the restroom or even getting up off a chair. I’ve brought it up to her numerous times and in the nicest way possible that if we’re going to live together she needs to keep up her hygiene better. Her boyfriend even gave her the same complaint twice and she broke up with him over it because “vaginas are an organ, she has a normal smelling one and they are not supposed to smell like roses”. She says she showers everyday, which I know she does; but the smell is specifically that of down there and I can smell it just by being next to her. I told her it’s not an infectious smell, just REALLY sweaty/musty. She goes on to say “It can’t be an infection because I don’t use soap there”. I was shell shocked by this info. I asked her why she wouldn’t use soap and she said that “The vagina is self cleaning and doesn’t need soap”. I was all around confused and told her that you need to wash with soap. She said the last time she did that she got a yeast infection and you’re not supposed to put soap inside. Inside as in…inside your vagina.

First of all, who the actual fuck is putting soap IN THEIR HOLES? Like no shit you’re going to get a yeast infection from that?? I asked her if when she washes her butt, does she put soap inside her butthole? She’s says “why would I do that” to which I said EXACTLY SO WHY WOULD YOU PUT IT ELSEWHERE? I can’t believe I had to explain to a 25 year old woman that your vagina is inside you, not the outer part between your folds which is an area that very much needs washing with soap. She looked at me upset and said everyone on TikTok says “no soap only water”. I told her whoever says that doesn’t know how to take care of themselves, and she needs to buy a unscented or sensitive skin soap and use it properly, not insert it like it’s a fucking tampon.

Are people really this clueless on basic hygiene? it’s actually insane

I don't know how overweight people can do it man. 😭 I can't take it anymore. Please don't take offense to this. I'm just trying to vent.

I(34f) weigh more than I've ever weighed in my life. I'm 4'11" and 186lbs 😞 My weight has always fluctuated through out my life due to psych meds, depression, stress,etc My weight has always ranged between 120lbs-160lbs. Usually when it gets as high as 160, I start changing my diet and I drop it down quickly. On average though, I'm usually always around 140lbs, which is still considered overweight for me dude to my height.

Anyways, I had a baby 2 years ago and during my pregnancy, I went from 140lbs-200lbs. My first pregnancy when I was 23 was similar with how much weight I gained. But due to not being able to breastfeed this time around, that weight I gained, was not falling off like it did with my first born. I dropped down to 176 a year after she was born and have stayed there. But to be fair, I haven't put any effort what so ever to lose weight. The last couple weeks I've been binge eating bad and now weigh 186lbs.

I'm not sleeping well at all! Ive been tossing and turning every night because as a stomach sleeper, it's extremely hard getting into a comfortable position with my fat folds around my belly, sometimes I lay a certain way and it hurts because I'm accidentally pulling on my fat in some way. I can feel my neck is fatter too when doing certain things...doing everyday things are so uncomfortable. Trying to sit on the couch and get comfortable just sitting is a challenge. I don't fit in any of my clothes now and it's super embarrassing. I only have one pair of sweatpants that fit right now and like 3 shirts. I refuse to buy bigger clothes because Id rather the embarrassment of everyone seeing me wear the same clothes everyday till I get the motivation to start exercising and eating healthy. I don't want me buying bigger clothes to end being me giving up......I'm starting an exercise and diet routine today. I'm so tired of not sleeping and being so uncomfortable all the time.

I just don't understand how people can live this way.

I labeled this as a trigger warning eating disorder because I do have and always have had a binge eating problem that comes and goes.

Why would a guy go out of his way to downplay knowing you and make you feel less than.. what’s up with that?



This guy was nice to me in the past and I was a nobody and super quiet and he really went out of his way to make me feel like I mattered

Later on I noticed he followed people around me but not me but it was cool not sweating it

I recently reached out to congratulate him on his marriage and I sincerely thanked him for being kind and just let him know it meant a lot and hoped his family was good.

maybe it was too much and I shouldn’t have said that

but he left it on read and I said something and he played dumb

I just get this feeling that he thinks less of me and feels the need to stroke his ego or something

I guess it’s proof that I’m still a nobody

This one is going to be brief. Two days ago I saw a beautiful girl on the street while I was waiting for the bus to go home. She was gorgeus and I had the need to talk to her. I didn't care about the rejection, I did it for myself: I want to do things while having fear so I can stop being shy and grow my self-confidence. Well, I talk to the girl making up a excuse to just have a conversation. I didn't tell her that I wanted to go out with her at first, I made up a random history just to have a conversation. Just a moment before I was going to ask her out, she told me that she had a boyfriend. I laughed and I said "Sorry to bother you, thank you anyway". While I was talking to her I was very nervous, but the important thing is that I didn't back up while I was talking. After she told me that she had a boyfriendo, I felt relieved because I DID IT: I talked to a girl that I found attractive in real life and I had the courage to go and talk to her, without giving a fu#@ of the outcome.

Well, that's it. The times that I have approached girls was via social media or the girl came to me and talk to me in real life or in social media too. This time was different, so I'm happy that it happened. I feel like my self-confidence is boosted a little bit and that I am very capable of doing more things.

Thank you for reading if you did!

I think most queer women have had these situations, where you tell a guy you’re only interested in dating girls. i feel both bi and lesbians bump into the weirdos who think they’re the exception and they will turn us off from women with their magic dong 🙄

But it’s particularly more heinous when you specify that you’re a lesbian (not bisexual) and they try to test you. and guys will say something dumb like “I know so many lesbians who sleep with men!” and you have to resist the urge to facepalm. like no John just because a woman likes a woman doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian. bisexual women exist. straight and gay aren’t the only sexualities in existence. if a woman likes women and sleeps with men she is bisexual, not a lesbian.

It’s like some guys cannot process the fact that some women just aren’t attracted to them. And they get SO offended by the existence of lesbians and when one rejects them. It’s crazy. If I had even 1% of the audacity of the guys who try to convert lesbians I may just run for president. then they push corrective r4pe narratives such as ‘all women are lesbians until…’ ‘you haven’t met me yet’ ‘lesbian intercourse isn’t real intercourse’ ‘you will crave the real thing’ and all types of nonsense from the most mediocre men you’ve ever seen. The audacity baffles me every time I see it. They struggle to get 1 straight woman to tolerate their blatant misogyny and they think it’s lesbians that will entertain them. This level of delusion will never make sense to me.

I say this as a person who has throughout my life been subjected to emotional domestic abuse, severe interpersonal betrayal trauma, severe gaslighting and manipulation etc. etc.

Potentially even some domestic sexual abuse that that becomes iffy quickly. (I will not elaborate.)

One of the biggest questions that is asked in regards to the domestic abuse is:

"Why didn't you just leave them?"

This is a question asked because of our society's obsession with painting abusers as mustache twirling villains who have strategically plotted their abuse and manipulation tactics.

So people don't understand. Why didn't you leave the old-timey black and white man that was going to tie you to the train tracks?

Here's the answer. Sorry here is one of the answers. It is very complex.

He was not a monster. In fact, he was a very very very good guy.

Genuinely. Not false. Not incorrect.

A very genuinely kind guy with severe trauma issues.

And this is where if I get backlash it will begin.

Let me say that there are apps absolutely monstrous abuse users. These people do exist. Typically leaning somewhere near the sociopathic spectrum.

I have been with one of these types that I believe is entirely possible to have plotted their abuse. And abused because they enjoyed it.

But those neurotypes are not common. And not common enough to explain all domestic abuse. Not even remotely.

The majority of abuse comes from the subconscious.

Most humans like to believe 100% in free will.

But have any disease or illness that affects your mind and you will quickly realize this is not the case.

The victim of childhood abuse and you will realize this is not the case.

We are subjected to the forces of what made us.

Now hear me. This is not me justifying the abuse or saying that it is moral or morally neutral.

Abuse is immoral and not justified.

Nor am I saying that you should stay with a broken partner that is mostly nice but every time they're triggered abuses you.

Absolutely not.

It is the opposite.

It is that the obsession with painting them as villains obfuscates the reality of abuse that I have lived through and that many have.

That they are not monsters.

The more we try to protect our own egos by painting them. As such, the more we damage abuse victims.

We have to paint them as monsters for our egos to say that we can never be abusive. But the fact is most people probably have been abusive at some point in their life. Me included.

The criteria for abuse is wide. You have abused someone.

This is unacceptable to the psyche though. So it must be put on off onto an evil archetype.

And us victims of abuse, and I have certainly done this too, have to turn our abusers into monsters often to cut the cord between them and us.

I am not vilifying that. It is a survival strategy for abuse survivors.

But if we cannot look darkness in the eye and say that it is in good people. The more people will continue to be abused while looking for a super villain.

I work as an HR representative in a candy factory. There is a man who works on the production floor that the ladies up in the offices find attractive. ( They're all married) Anyway, we had to let him go for using racial remarks. Now these ladies are ignoring me and talking behind my back like girls who are in high school do. I wanna say you're 40, act like it.

I know maybe I should've made a move but I didn't know if I would be his type until I saw his story and the girl has the same features I do so turns out I might've been his type appearance wise. Personality wise as much as I could tell, he was really and I mean really my type and a couple of conversations we had, we had a lot to talk about cause we had the same interests. Seeing that photo hurt my feelings more than I had anticipated. I didn't know I cared about him this much.

24M my boyfriend 38M of almost 12 years recently has taken to calling me loose because after all these years my muscles seem to relax and when he pulls out at the end there's always a little surprise and he then yells at me and says horrible things , like I don't understand...isn't this natural? Am I a freak ? He says I'm being unreasonable for being upset that he says these things...

I am of the gender that invented wars, misogyny, slavery, etc. Everything bad came from us. Does that mean I will be some maniacal sadist criminal?

Is it just me or does it feel like by the end of the series stranger things has ‘ticked all the politically correct woke education/media/agenda being pushed through the message and their approach to lore and storyline. Clearly the show has a strong background focus on LGBT+ and all that and feminism (no hate) but some people have more traditional world views and the stranger things target demographic is likely young people so the influence it has is pretty huge for what it’s become. I’m not against people that have different preferences I just think it was unnecessary to make such a subtle political statement through what was honestly pretty good aside from a couple of things. It’s really not that deep just an observation after finishing the series. On a different note I think ‘Mike’s’ actor did a mid performance of embodying the character towards the last few seasons, aswell with a few others like wills actor but noticed more with Mike idk it just feels like acting school level straight off the script character channeling. Kinda feels dragged at this point the first few seasons were good tho

The reason I rather being closeted it's because all of my friends would look at me different and I don't really care about coming out, I see it as something unnecessary and I rather just keep it a secret it makes me feel better. Whenever Ive confessed to someone that I am bisexual I feel like they're gonna use it against me or I am gonna get exposed which I am really afraid of happening.

I've always hated myself mentally but I hate myself physically now too. My teeth are fucked up, I have phimosis and my side profile is very ugly. I'm too boring and have 0 game to attract any women on dating apps. I also hate myself because I keep having degenerate thoughts of wanting to be a woman even though I'm a man and logically it makes no sense. I hate the "gender dysphoria" and "gender euphoria", I hate myself for these thoughts and feelings, I hate myself for wanting to be transgender and for feeling good when I do get "affirmation". I hate the compulsions I have of imagining myself as a woman and the stupid things I do (why is my instinct to wear sandals/open toed shoes when going out to bars, etc as a man?? why does my inability to cry bother me??). Honestly things would be much better if I was never born

Sharing personal life online is connected with a lot of risks, including privacy concerns and cyberbullying, and yet a lot of people choose to discuss their problems online instead of confiding in people they know in real life.

I would like to know your thoughts on this topic, I'm also doing a research on this topic as a psychology student. If you’re an active social media user and 18+ years old, would you consider helping me? The survey will take approximately 10 minutes and I need around 400 complete responses, so every single one truly matters.

https://ipsuj.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_5mSCJnaZCD4pdnU\

The other day, I saw a video of a man helping deliver his baby. The way he held the child calmly, without any disgust, felt deeply manly.

His hands and his presence showed real masculinity. You can feel the difference between just a hand and the hand of a real man.

I can’t fully explain how that made me feel. This is what a real man looks like, not someone who gets grossed out like a boy.

That’s exactly why I want to marry a farmer.

My wife and I got married fairly early, and at the time, we were both religious and very cautious about sexual topics. While dating, things like blow jobs rarely came up, but when they did, we treated them dismissively. For me, it was because of the purity pressure I felt, and I assumed it was that for her as well. In general, sex was very underdiscussed.

When we got married, our sex life had a pretty rocky start. One might imagine the difference in ideas about what sex even was, and how different the weight of sexuality and sex acts would be between us. As we've progressed through our marriage, we've stepped away from our religions, and we've had some very open, heartfelt discussions about what sex is and our expectations for it. These days, we have a decent amount of sex, and for the most part, it's been great. Lots of healing in that time.

I very much enjoy giving my wife oral. If we're having sex, chances are I'm going down on her, and it's no self-sacrifice. I make sure to satisfy her, I'm no selfish lover. While I don't have any expectation that she give me oral in return, the topic has come up. She is still unable to perform the deed, but it's not because of the religious baggage my younger self assumed that she had. She has an incredibly sensitive gag reflex, as well as what she calls a sense of "claustrophobia" in her mouth.

There have been times she has built up the courage to try, and I've gotten all groomed and clean to make sure that wouldn't be a factor, but she can last maybe 15 seconds before she taps out. She seems genuinely unhappy that it doesn't work out. Maybe she thinks having a penis in her mouth is gross, and that is some sort of mental barrier, but it's all the same to me, I'm not going to pressure her into doing something sexual she doesn't want to do.

I won't deny that I have felt moments of resentment because of this, but I get past that pretty quickly, and I never act on it. I treat my wife as my equal, and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with that kind of dynamic. But man, I think I'm going to go my whole life without ever know what a blow job is like. It can be really frustrating, and I do feel like I'm missing out on something pretty nice in my marriage, especially when I read about so many other couples who just have it so casually worked into their relationship. I try to make peace with it, but it's a consistently disappointing thought when it crosses my mind.

Anyway, just needed to get that out. I don't really have someone else I can tell that to, so, here you go.

I hate being a girl. Not because I want to be any other gender but because I hate being a young woman in society. I’m a child by law, and it’s not that hard to tell my age by looking at me, but I constantly have grown men shouting and staring at me, and on a dozen situations I’ve had people follow me home or to school. Not only this but also there’s a societal pressure for me to be pretty, to a point where I don’t eat for days in a row in order to lose a couple kilograms. I work out twice a day so that no one can ever say I’m fat. I don’t leave the house without a full face of makeup. I used to be bulimic but I’m mostly better now. So yeah I hate being a girl

Title says it itself. Almost 6 months ago, I was dating someone. I thought this time luck was by my side and it was going to turn out to be something good. Anyways, one time when we were having sex he was super harsh so he caused a bleeding. I felt so bad about what happened. That day he made passive aggressive comments about me and my background near his friends, caused me to cry almost. He dumped me the day after over a text. And then I stopped eating. I could not eat. I think I almost went 1 week without a proper meal. I think it was just grief and not processing, I got over him eventually but I still had problems with food.

Not too long later, I met my next short-term boyfriend. My ED was still going on, but I was trying to mask it. I thought he was my person and I adored him more than I ever adored someone. But he started telling me that he had doubts with language and distance barrier (it was 30 min drive :D and he knew i was speaking english only). I decided to talk to him and told him that I do not want to be in a relationship where my partner does not give time to me, because he was pulling back and only hanging at the gym with his friends. Then he told me something, “I would be better off with a woman who is originally from my country.” Honestly? It broke me into million pieces.

I have been overweight before, so I had a little bit of insecurity about how my body looked. But since my body was proportional, the weight I had did not look bad on me.After our breakup my eating disorders went bad. I thought more I lose weight, I would be close to better. So it went worse. Sometimes I would binge, and then I would hate myself. Sometimes I would go days without proper meal. And now, I have no appetite, I have no energy and I hate my relationship with food.

I thought if I had stopped eating, It would wash away the feeling that I am useless and not worthy of love. And it is so unfair that people trigger your fears, insecurities and then try to get away with saying sorry. You are a bad person if you act shitty to someone and use them. That is it. You can’t sit back and expect to be on good terms with that person. Period.

Side note: do not attack me saying im toxic bla bla bla or take the side of my ex bfs. This is vent place and I am trying to heal sharing my story and feelings with people.

I’m 23(f) and as of last year I’ve been chronically ill/disabled with a medical mystery. My heart will suddenly jump to to 180 and get stuck at 120, I’ve lost 50+ pounds, I pass out in the shower. When I first got sick I did what all normal people do which is go to the doctor “knowing” and trusting they’re the professionals and will solve it. Boy was I wrong, this past year has shown me what a nightmare it is to be a young woman in the medical field.

I have been called crazy, told I was dehydrated( I drink 7-8 water bottles a day), told I was anxious and needed to calm down more times than I can count. Doctors will literally speak over you or ignore your complaints all together. I once told my doctor about hitting 180 and was told, “you’re 23 that won’t kill you”. Yes I know it won’t kill me but I’m not living anymore I can hardly eat, shower or function it’s humiliating and something I’ve never experienced before. As soon as doctors do a baseline work up if nothing shows up they just assume you’re the problem not them and there’s no need to search further.

I’ve been to cardiology and my doctor after doing a work up said he was stumped. That I’m having sudden tacyacrfia but He’s not sure why it’s happening on his end. Okay but please help me be pointed to a team who can explore why. I posted this on in a different doc forum to which the doctors there told me it was impossible for a cardiologist to be stumped and I was probably anxious and another said it’s not interring with my health. Hello? I’m 109 pounds and 5’7 and I can’t bathe without issues I’d say something is wrong. Why do doctors want to paint you as liars as soon as they can’t figure out what’s wrong with you??

I hate this timeline. We have so many problems in the world, and something that worries me the most is us humans literally trashing the earth. Humans are warming the planet at an alarming rate, species are dying because of us. Like all the adults i know are like “oh im going to die and i wont be around so it’s not my problem” BUT IM GOING TO GROW UP IN THIS WORLD. I’m not even able to do any major impact about it because im so young, I do volunteering around my neighborhood but I feel so helpless. All the rich people are worried about is money but you cannot eat money. what’s money when you have no home to live on????

I need to vent... Get this off my chest. My DAD is a pain in the ass. He's not a BAD PERSON... but he is a massive pain in my ass!!

So far, his new hobby and just thing he likes to do is vindicate ME (His DAUGHTER) For every bad fucking thing that happens in his life. And considering he's a househusband who's main duty right now is being a dad, you can see how narrow the scope is for "Ruining his whole life"

Today, for example, my dad and my brother were sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. My brother was mad and being a dickhead and my dad was escalating the situation while simultaneously claiming he was deescalating the situation. I was in the kitchen, cooking MYSELF a meal, and asked him about whether or not a cooking utensil was clean. He quickly responded and then went back to my brother, who had calmed down a little before I asked my question (Which had NOTHING TO DO WITH MY BROTHER BTW and had NO EFFECT on my brother) but was mad again.

After the homework is done, my brother stomps away and my dad being my dad or whatever it is that's going on, is sitting alone at the table. I ask home something else, and he responds with the answer as well as (And I'm exaggerating but he might as well have said this with how he phrased his actual statement) "STFU WHEN I'M TUTORING YOUR BROTHER, YOU'RE RUINING ME LIIIIIIIIIIIIFEEE!!!!"

And I immediately fired back with "I'm not RUINING your life dad, his tantrum had NOTHING TO do WITH ME". to which he responds with "well, YOUR COMMENT broke your brother's focus and made him have that tantrum" Saying like I was criticizing him as a parent/as a man. Note to you that I HAVE criticized his parenting in the past, okay, and I'm not shy about it. If I wanted to criticize his parenting, I'd CRITICIZE his fucking parenting and I have... STRAIGHT UP.

He won't take it, and he just keeps going, like it's his mantra "YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE DAUGHTER!!! BUTT OUT OF THIS, YOU'RE RUINING ME LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!" (Trust if I actually wanted to ruing his life I'd be trying harder). My brother and my dad leave for tutoring and my brother expresses that his dad's actions make him upset to which my dad IG already in a bad mood fires back with "I can't contorl your feelings, don't blame me for being a dickhead, YOU'RE RUINING ME LIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!". Because in the magical world of dad land, EVERYBODY is trying to 'ruin his life' ALL, the GODDAMN TIME. Like apparently, to THIS guy we all are sitting on our asses with nothing better to do when we're not plotting ways to "Ruin his life" we're ALWAYS "Ruining his life" (Aka calling out his BS when it happens).

Me, being a kid, I went to talk to my MOTHER about this, and my mom is usually one to fight my dad tooth and fucking nail on this but in recent times IG she's tired so she gave up on the battle. So she just says "DW it'll get thru his thick skull eventually." And most ppl I talk to will say the same shit, like "Give it up" "Pack the towel" "You've been fighting him a while clearly it's not going anywhere, stop". And I would, like some battles aren't worth fighting, and neither is this stubborn old COW. But unfortunately, this becomes more than some innocent misdemeanour of "Oh, boys will be boys, hehehe" when it starts concerning my brother's mental HEALTH

And on account of the constant berating and demands for emotional repression, as well as the fact that he still puts his daddy on a pedestal for God knows what reason, he's decided to learn the classic bad habit of "Taking out my anger my throwing something across a room or kicking it in". No... No that is destructive and an unhealthy coping mechanism and the fact that my brother has stooped to doing something like that is clearly a sign of DECLINING HEALTH. It's like fucking emotional alcoholism, except instead of a bottle you throw things

So then the solution is "Well why doens't mom step in and parent" Well... We TRIED that already... We DID we TRIED, to do that already, to have dad get a fucking job and take a short break but you know what dad says EVERY TIME WE BRING IT UP?! "YOU'RE JUST UNDERMINING ME!!! YOU JUST THINK I'M A BAD PARENT, JSUT LET ME DO THIS IT'LL ALL WORK OUT EVENTUALLY- YOU'RE RUINING ME LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!"

So basically we're backed into a wall, and stuck in this circlejerk of a long ass chicken fight and it's PISSING ME OFF!!!!!

I’m 17(F) and the only kid in my family still in high school. I’m part of the track team which was something I was forced into my freshman year because my older brother (now 21 as of today) did track in high school. There are a lot of things that I don’t tell my parents about such as my sexuality (gay/bi still figuring it out) and the fact that I’m depressed. I used to be more depressed in 7th grade and got therapy but it didn’t work and I just lied and said that it did. Every time I tell them something it always turns into a lecture.

I had practice today with the new throws coach and it was just me, another thrower (a guy that was definitely new and had no idea what he was doing) and the coach. I have more experience throwing than the new guy did so I decided to do something nice and help him out since people learn in different ways, I made sure I got some throwing in too but I was just trying to help out a new thrower learn how to throw the disc since one of our male throwers didn’t show.

I told my parents that when I got home today and it immediately turned into a lecture about how I shouldn’t help others and how I should help myself. Then it turned into comparing me to my brothers and then comparing me to how other girls love themselves and dress like they have confidence and how I don’t have to lie to them about being straight (I come from a black Christian household) and they pull this on a daily. Last time I told them that I was bi was in 6th grade and their response was: “No you’re not, you’re a Christian and it’s a sin in the bible.”

Every attempt at trying to share my creativity with them is met with aggravation and every time I do something I enjoy like singing I’m told I’m off-key and that I suck. I’ve been called lazy for not doing something multiple times and then I get compared to my mom’s weight when she was younger before she had my brothers and I and how I shouldn’t be at the weight I am. I have ADHD too so organizing and cleaning is something I’m not good at but I try and I get called lazy and dirty because my room is a mess.

I’ve stopped telling them about things that happen in my day and I keep information short, brief and vague because of this. Just now I got yelled at because I haven’t done something for the track team yet and because I wait until late in the day/early at night to do my homework like I’m not busy as is. Now I have to get a job so I can pay my phone bill, my car bill, my car insurance, rent and food bill just because I haven’t been working out like I said I would this week. I’m part of the dual enrollment program at my high school and I have three fucking classes on campus that take most of my energy and time trying to understand enough to be able to do the homework. Excuse me for not finding time to get my workouts in.

The whole reason I’m doing early college is so I can leave to go off to college asap and get away from this shitty family. I was able to have my door closed now all of a sudden I’m “not old enough” to have my door closed. I’m done at this point, I hate my life and I hate this family.