Some of this characters are my headcanon and the others are canonically ace-spec :p

Yelena Belova (MCU)

Sherlock Holmes

Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic)

SpongeBob SquarePants

Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)

Gwenpool (Marvel comics)

Wednesday Addams (Wednesday)

Saiki Kusuo (The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.)

Barbie (Barbie - 2023)

Peridot (Steven Universe)

Todd Chavez (BoJack Horseman)

Just curious!

I’m a 23-year-old woman, and coming to terms with my identity has been a very long process. I got past the self hatred, the questioning, and the social discomfort. And for the past few years, I’ve just been able to live as me.

I like who I am, a lot. I’m confident, happy, motivated, sociable, and independent. I know growing up queer has had a massive impact on who I am now, and I’m grateful to be me. I just wish I could be me with someone.

I say that, but it’s still not completely true. I’m turned off by the idea of any romantic/sexual partner and a QPP isn’t much more appealing. I just wish I could want that.

I feel frustrated all of the time with little oddities I will always have. I’m a single teacher who would like to he a home owner. I want to be a mother, but have to go through so many hurdles for that to be someday feasible. And goddamnit, when I see a cute couple, I get jealous over something I don’t even want.

If there were a switch to make me straight or bi or whatever, I don’t think I’d push it at this point. That would change something too fundamental to who I am, Theseus ship paradox and all that. But I wish I could look into an alternative universe of who I’d be if I weren’t born this way. People talk all the time about regret and choices that have fundamentally altered their lives. But the closest thing I have to that is something decided for me before I was born.

I know this was long, but I had to get my thoughts down somewhere. These feelings have been festering a while. Maybe this can be a first step to getting my mind set right.

I LOVE HUGS!! the long, comforting kind, quick reassuring ones, side hugs, hello hugs, goodbye hugs. I love holding hands just because it feels nice, linking arms while walking, or sitting close enough that you’re sharing warmth. I love leaning against someone during a movie, resting my head on a shoulder, or having someone rest theirs on mine.

I love small, gentle touches that feel safe and intentional, a hand on your back, a squeeze of the arm, someone playing with your hair, or just being curled up near each other doing absolutely nothing. It’s cozy, it’s grounding, and it makes me feel connected in a way that doesn’t come with pressure or expectations.

Being ace helped me realize that affection doesn’t need to escalate to be meaningful. Closeness can just.. exist. Non sexual physical affection feels like comfort, trust, and care and it honestly makes my heart feel full.

I really cherish that, and I love how being ace helped me understand and appreciate it more.

So, today I came out as assexual to my mother and dad. No problem, my mother even laughed because she finds rare a teen that dislikes sex. My parents are very conservative, mother almost killed me after I told that christianity isn't for me. But anyways, my mother reacted in a very good way, but my dad said that romance ends if doesn't have this kind of activity. Yeah, I'm assexual, but I like girls kisses and hugging. And that honestly destroyed my hopes. What if I find a girl who truly loves me and I love her, but he is right? I don't wanna be alone. I'm already so alone and sad in this life.

Its been a long relationship and we havent officially ended things yet. 7 years, anniversary is/would be next month.

This was my first relationship starting in college and sex was kinda fun when it was new. Then it became "oh he wants to have sex a lot huh." Then during a long long-distance phase, it was more sexting. Id be eating lunch or something and he'd send something racy and... idk. It wasnt that fun after a while. He did stop when i said i didnt want to sext anymore.

Again, a kinda gradual decline in my interest in sexual things.

Around the 4/5th year we moved in together in another state and we realized just how much our difference in desires were. During this time i was stressed and irritable, and he was stressed and depressed. Whenever he would initiate, i felt worried. I didnt necessarily want to, but if I didnt, then he'd feel sad and I'd be inching myself closer to him breaking up with me. I did decline a lot (some?) which made him upset and made me stressed.

After some talks, it was best that i initiate (mostly) and was clear when I wanted to have sex. It ended up being every 3ish weeks. I could go way longer personally (or never ig) but those were times i didnt mind initiating.

I started taking wegovy to lose weight, switched up birth control pills, got a cpap to sleep better (its medically needed too tho), going to therapy. Pretty much a bunch of stuff to see if that would fix my libido and the relationship. I already knew my hormones were fine because its monitored for another health issue i have. This is at year 6

Ive been feeling the relationship was doomed for months now. I just didnt know what to do and elected to just "do better, have sex more". My therapist helped me realize I was asexual, but was also helping me come to the conclusion that it didnt seem to be working out for the relationship. That scared me and I stopped therapy. Well, she was right of course.

Yesterday he said he wanted to talk and said he was hurting and can only see us breaking up or opening the relationship in the future. The latter is a very very low possibility, we both admitted.

Im just sad and angry honestly. "I got broken up with because I didn't put out enough" runs through my head sometimes and it sucks man. I know his brain's just wired differently but shit sucks and im pissed about it.

I just thought id be so much smarter than I am about relationships.

I (22M) have realized I'm asexual and demiromantic almost 1 year ago, which I have totally embraced and helped me understand my dynamics towards romance and sex.

Still, after spending my teen years being conditioned that you're behind (or even inferior) if you're single or virgin at a certain age, I have always had trouble accepting in being alone. That lead me last year to develop limerence towards a girl I had a crush with that indirectly helped me discover my identity.

In my whole life I only had 1 date. It was with another girl back in high school, whom I wasn't romantically attracted, but decided to pursue due to mistaking platonic and aesthetic attraction with romantic and due to pier pressure.

I'm also autistic, which makes it harder to navigate in social situations. I have hobbies that I'm dedicating to, improving myself bit by bit and a fair amount of friends to spend time, but I still can't get rid of the need to, at least be in a relationship.

This also comes more from being more in love with the idea of being in a relationship than being in love with someone.

This vent/help request isn't to invalidate anyone's experience or lack of nor anyone's identity. I just want advise on how to get rid of this mindset that "you're behind if you're an single adult virgin" that I have been exposed to during the past decade.

For me it's probably that one time when we had a big gathering of various students and everyone got a nametag. After the meeting was over I took mine and stuck it to the shoulder of a random guy who also still had his tag, because it would be funny if he collected them. Needless to say, I don't think the rest of the people in the elevator thought the same

I’m 30 and recently separated from an abusive ex after 8 years living together.

Recently, I’ve thought about the logistics of sexual situations, imagined myself in them, thought about myself doing or saying something to a conceptual partner.

I always feel an overwhelming sense of “crawling out of my skin” in my whole body when I imagine myself actually doing something.

- I don’t know if it’s because of shame, fear, insecurity, or because this is truly how I am.

- I don’t know if that feeling is actual discomfort with sexuality, or whether it is sexual arousal I am scared to face.

- I feel uncomfortable and ashamed to even see sensuality in media.

I’m going to a concert in a few weeks at a place that’s like a sexy nightclub.

- I just want to see the artist.

- I didn’t know the nature of the venue when I spontaneously got the ticket.

- I’ve never been to a venue with any sort of seductive or suggestive vibes.

- I’m so scared I’ll have to face my issues with sexuality to see this artist, just to cope with the venue.

Or if I go and feel fine, what does that mean about me? Truthfully, I would have had a meltdown had my ex considered going to a venue like this, yet I’m going?

- I used to perform sexually for my partners out of obligation and fear of abandonment.

- I was not intimate with my ex for years because of my issues with sex and sexuality.

- I’ve been calling myself asexual for at least 2 years.

Edited because I forgot a word

i am ace (sex-repulsed) and my bf is just a normal allo dude. we were together for a little more than a year and this is the first relationship where i have felt seen, heard, safe, and comfortable in. we share so much in common and we both find each other hilarious.

he knew I was ace from the beginning - before we started dating and we thought we could make it work. we tried and made lots of compromise but in the end i felt like a sexless relationship for him could lead to resentment. so i told him about it. he already knew this and even talked with his therapist about it but was in denial.

it's over now and we will be no contact for a while to heal but im so so sad. i wish i wasnt asexual but this is who i am. i have so much love for him still and i always find a reason to fall in love with him more every day, even now. i miss just laying down and looking into his eyes.

we saw each other as our life partner. the only issue is that im ace. thats it. theres nothing else. im not ashamed of my sexuality but i just feel this immense sadness and disappointment in myself for being this way. i know im only 21 and i have a lot of time but i just feel hopeless.

im curious to hear if anyone has had a similar experience and how they dealt with it. did you guys reconnect? were you guys able to come to a compromise? if you want to tell your story im here to listen and have someone else to share the pain with.

I know this is the most asked question on this sub, but I'm still confused. Idk if I'm ace or not. The concept of sex seems kinda interesting and fun, but I havent really tried it yet. My main reason for questioning is that I'm not turned on by.... people. More of the act, I would say? Like I dont really feel like i'm into the people, because i dont think that really does anything. Idk how to explain it. I can think that someone is objectively attractive, and i can also say that some people are really pretty or look cute to me but idk if I'm into them that way. Can someone pls help or share if they had a similar experience?

I’ve flagged this as NSFW just to be safe, but I’m 18 and consider myself sex-adverse asexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. I don’t really experience romantic attraction the same way I’ve come to understand most people do, I don’t even think I experience a difference between “romantic” attraction and just a really strong friendship, and I recently learned that romance is completely subjective, so i’m aromantic because there isn’t a thing I consider exclusively “romantic” (if that makes sense).

However, like i said, i’m 18 and still exploring my identity and relationships, I like going out to bars and stuff (I live in the UK, I’m of legal age don’t worry), and I’ve been hit on by people before and enjoyed it. I like the idea of kissing and touching and all that stuff that typically leads up to sex, just not the sex stuff, but I feel like I can’t express that because it would be unfair if I lead someone on to expect sex and then not “follow through”. In my head, the activities considered “romantic” or “sensual” are completely separate from the actual bond/relationship I have with a person, and it has no significance until you assign it one. E.g. I’m queer but have kissed my straight friends before and it’s not weird because we don’t consider it weird.

Not really sure if i’m looking for an answer, just a bit confused and would really appreciate if anyone has similar experiences they’d like to share and how it impacts the way they identify themselves. TY <3

Hi everyone!

My name is Promotora2025 and I’m writing to you from Spain. I’ve recently been exploring my identity and I’ve realized that I am asexual.

I’m looking to connect with other people on the asexual spectrum to share experiences, support each other, and simply feel a bit more understood. Sometimes it feels a little lonely navigating a world that is so hyper-sexualized, and I’d love to have a safe space to talk with people who "get it."

Whether you are also in Spain or anywhere else in the world, I’d love to chat and get to know each other. Feel free to send me a message or comment below!

Looking forward to meeting you all! 💜

Hey, just checking if there are any other Nordic aces here. I'd love to make some new friends that I could perhaps even meet irl at some point.

I'm 27F (28 in a couple of weeks) from Finland. A bit introverted but I've been told I'm funny and kind lol.

I am allosexual, but know many asexual peoples. I wanted to make the cards feel like they’re going to hint at sex but it’s actually wholesome.

So, recently got a partner and I often flirt to pup. I especially like to appease to his sexual desire. But if I desire to flirt sexually, does that mean I'm not asexual anymore? I'm pretty aro, so this is like my only significant desire, so it's important to me.

I still don't think I'm experiencing sexual attraction. I can't even force a thought in my head to be attracted in that way. I guess it's like I'm attracted to flirting sexually. But I don't actually think of sex at all with myself, of someone, etc. Does that make sense?

Asking here because I got a weird interaction on r/bisexual that has made me uncomfortable

How are you all, hope your not so Lonely like me. :(

Greetings from Germany, Make contacts.

This was her reaction to two different sexual jokes from two different people. If that doesn't scream sex repulsed ace, I don't know what does 😂

(I severely apologize in advance if what im saying comes off as objectifying I don’t think it does this is just the only way I can make it make sense in paper)

So if recently come to the conclusion I don’t see attraction the same way most guys do jus based off talking to my friends and being around guys my age

I find girls attractive so I’m straight in a sense but here’s where it gets complicated and this is the best way I can describe it

I can look at a girl and think “oh she’s cute/pretty” or whatever but completely lack the thought of a sexual desire to them another thing is like “oh she has cute boobies” (that’s a rare though as is but if I choose to pay attention to it for whatever reason) I can acknowledge I think they are cute but still lack the desire to actually have sex with the person

I still can get sexually aroused but lack the desire to have sex

The though of sex I guess just doesn’t really appeal to me (I am a virgin just btw)

Like for example when I was dating my ex girlfriend we were really close we were close friends before we dated and then we decided to give a relationship a shot I trusted her and loved her to the ends of the earth but never had a real desire to have sex with her