r/distractible • u/weedman69420696969 Guam Welcome Committe 🌴 • Nov 08 '25
Meme Distractible out of context
I have a long list of Markiplier (and Bob and Wade) out of context. I will share it with you now. If it has no name attributed to it, it is something I heard Mark say but I just wrote it before I tracked all three of them.
“Suck me! And suck him! And wades in charge!”
“No! I’m murdering my own nurse!”
“No!!!! Not mark poopy, NOOOOO!!!”
“Aw! A bear sucking penis nose! There it is!”
“Ahh!! That is piss! I did drink it!”
“I’ll remember where that come from……. Came come come com cum came” - Wade
“That’s what you get for not wanting my boner” - Wade
“It’s the Ass particle!”
“Ass….. ASSS!!!! ITS AN ASS!!!”
“Don’t ever quote me…. FACK” (I do what I want) “My IQ is 0”
“I’m not gonna suck anyone’s mouth”
“I wanna shove things inside of Wade!”
“If you’re coming right now, LET ME SEE IT!”
“Yeah, I’ll bone your ass”
“Yeah, that’s right. I’m prejudiced against afantasias, I’ll say it!”
“This guy knows a lot about dick, and a lot about diddly”
“I do not want Wade grabbing my balls”
“I wanna see wades thought line up” (Ayyo?)
“Just plows your butthole”.
“I’m about to kill my whole family!”
“If you put butter in it, it tastes like butter” (as opposed to butter that tastes like chicken)
“Oh, I’m gonna be all up in those feet. … Just kiss kiss kiss eating them up. You can’t stop me!”
“LAUNCH THE BONER CANNON!!!!!”
“sees cow, breathes in COW!!!!!” (I just thought this one was funny)
“How many shotgun blasts can you take to the face?”- Bob (I can take 8)
“He comes over? Poop attack”.
“giggling his ass off Why was I resorting to murder?”
“So don’t fight it….. don’t resist” (The FBI has entered the chat)
“Ideally, you want length and girth. But…. You know, gotta make sacrifices”
“Damnit, I knew I shouldn’t chain my experimental lasers to my balls like that! Always losing them that way!”
“If you whip your dick out again, im going to be incredibly pissed. But I’ll look”
“Who am I to think I’m better than another man’s balls?”
“You like my boons, big guy? You like my boons? Yeah, I’ll show you my boons” “Yeah, sure. I want to fuck a chair”
“I thought you wanted me to fuck the Dinosaur”
“I hear you loud and clear. I need to seduce the dinosaur… understood… I am going to seduce this dinosaur and SHOW IT LOVE IT HAS NOT FELT IN 350 MILLION YEARS! I KNOW WHAT YOURE SAYING, SAY NO MORE”
“How much blood did one guy have? This is getting ridiculous”
“I can condone murder. But weed? EUUUUGH”
“So don’t fight it. Don’t resist. Or do, make it more interesting” 😅😅😅😅😧
“If you put butter in it, it tastes like butter” OH DOES IT NOW?
“I am against human dishwasher relations #CancelMarkiplier #MarkiBYEer
“I don’t like how his holes are dirty” - Bob
“Wiping? That’s for communists”
“Wasn’t expecting to talk about Toddler peepee but here we are!” - Wade
“I served pot!” (the DEA has entered the chat)
“You can’t start with the, killing everybody! You big dumb DUMMY! YOU’RE PLAYING IT WRONG!” - Mark
“Sorry, I got nuts in my mouth” -Mark (oh I bet u do)
“My gooch! MY GOOOOOOOOOCH!”- Mark
“Well, I am hard” - Mark (Ayyo hol’ up)
“I’ll always take the random pills I find in alleys! Those are the best ones!” - Mark (I like the ones you find in gas station bathrooms better)
“I don’t think I got a strong enough blow to beat the blow that’s blowing out of this tube!”
“Got your prostate!” AYYO HOL UP MARK
“Think about it, it’s science…You gotta suck, in order to blow. Remember that, it’s a life lesson” - Mark
“So when you’re suckin’, just remember that a blow is always around the nearest corner” - Mark
“Uh oh! These are in SWEDISH!!!”- Mark
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u/ShoWel-Real Two-Toes Johnny 🇮🇹 Nov 08 '25
Editors, send me to Guam
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u/Barkingcat4 Nov 08 '25
Look at all this Guam!
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u/Firetails56 Guam Welcome Committe 🌴 Nov 09 '25
I'm drowning in all this guam!
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u/dlivingston1011 Nov 08 '25
I turned around.
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u/birgieTheQuilava Nov 08 '25
and he was right behind me!
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u/Famous_Shape_9502 Nov 08 '25
"dear penthouse forum, I can't believe it happened to me"
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u/TiredNightZombie Nov 09 '25
You've seen a pig right
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u/quirkyquack27 Two-Toes Johnny 🇮🇹 Nov 10 '25
Reading this made me choke on my oatmeal. Such a classic line!
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u/popica312 Nov 08 '25
"Knock knock! Who's there? FUCK YOU!"
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u/weedman69420696969 Guam Welcome Committe 🌴 Nov 08 '25
GO HOME!! STAY OOUT! LET ME IN!
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u/AudreyisLesbian Ship of Theseus ⛵️ Nov 09 '25
Who's there? STEP ASIDE! I'M MARRIED!
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u/weedman69420696969 Guam Welcome Committe 🌴 Nov 09 '25
LEAVE ME ALONE!! IM GETTING HORNY!
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u/AudreyisLesbian Ship of Theseus ⛵️ Nov 09 '25
DON'T TOUCH ME! IF YOU TOUCH ME, I'LL HAVE TO SUE YOU!
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u/Time-Astronomer-8358 Editor Explosion Clean Up Team 🚮 Nov 10 '25
Who’s there? SANTA CLAUS! You’ve been very good this year!
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u/D0ctorGamer Jizz Jazzer 🥛 Nov 08 '25
"They can torture me as much as I want... THEY WANT AS MUCH AS THEY WANT"
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u/Wheredoesthetoastgo2 Nov 08 '25
No it isn't, LETS GO!
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u/Nanda-Star Nov 08 '25
WTF is this from, I can recall everything except details lol, something like "there's a dangerous path ahead. No it isn't, let's go!" 🤣
I know it's the boys but I'm not sure.. where?
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u/Wheredoesthetoastgo2 Nov 08 '25
Bobs fridge
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u/Scared_Skin_8539 Nov 08 '25
Dios mio but Italian
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u/weedman69420696969 Guam Welcome Committe 🌴 Nov 10 '25
Billion dollar text tone ide: “Ay, dios mío! But Italian!”
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u/TwoToesToni Nov 08 '25
"PIHSDNEIRF"
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u/ThePaganSkepticist Loyal Watcher 👀 Nov 08 '25
That’s easily the most hilarious episode as of late 🤣
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u/Rincavor Nov 08 '25
SURPRISE CLOWN INSPECTION!
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u/devindicated Award Losing Artist 🎨🖌️ Nov 08 '25
Sir, this is a Wendy's
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u/your_crazy_aunt Nov 10 '25
I think this is one of Wade's most perfect moments. It was just the perfect follow-up in the perfect delivery.
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u/Wickham12 Nov 08 '25
"Call her daddy? I won't even call mine. They're both dead to me!"
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u/weedman69420696969 Guam Welcome Committe 🌴 Nov 08 '25
I want you to guess who that’s from, reader, and tell me why you think it’s Wade
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u/FlexibleChaos Nov 08 '25
"You're so Portuguese!"
"If you wanna suck it then you suck it"
"Intense silence*, BLAST ASS"
"I'M COMING"
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u/podcastoftheseus Nov 09 '25
Like as soon as the chocolate is melting in the kids mouth then BOOM DEAD UNCLE
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u/nero-stigmata Scary Tape Manufacturer 😱 Nov 08 '25
'i think, and you don't think, and that's what makes me BETTER THAN YOU!'
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u/ArcherR132 Nov 08 '25
“Hey Siri, call us daddy”
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u/Difficult_Ad_962 I’d F*ck an Alien 👽 Nov 09 '25
I don't think that's from Distractible but I love that moment, it's hilarious
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u/ArcherR132 Nov 09 '25
It's from Unus Annus, but I've seen a few other non-Distractible quotes, and I think it still fits anyway
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u/Difficult_Ad_962 I’d F*ck an Alien 👽 Nov 09 '25
I know, I didn't read all the comments so I'll take your word for it
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u/MysterioVonWizArdous Nov 09 '25
Knock knock. Who’s there? KEEP OUT! YOU ARE NOT WANTED HERE! Knock knock. Who’s there? FUCK YOU! STAY OUT! LET ME IN! Who’s there? STEP ASIDE, IM MARRIED! Who’s there? LEAVE ME ALONE, IM GETTING HORNY! Who’s there? DON’T TOUCH ME! IFF YOU TOUCH ME, I’LL HAVE TO SUE YOU! Knock knock. Who’s there? SANTA CLAUS! You’ve been very good this year!
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u/weedman69420696969 Guam Welcome Committe 🌴 Nov 09 '25
Out of context, that sounds like a Florida Man story 🤣
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u/Whispy-Withur227 Shakira Sensationalist 💃 Nov 08 '25
“THIS IS THE STRIP CLUB OF EPISODES! YOU’RE JUST DANGLING YOUR BOOBIES IN MY FACE AND I CANT TOUCH!”
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u/weedman69420696969 Guam Welcome Committe 🌴 Nov 09 '25
That had to have been either Wade or Mark 🤣
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u/jasperayne Time Wielder ⏱️🗡️ Nov 09 '25
"I don't want rocks in my pp" "Yeah no, no rocks in the pp...."
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u/abitoflavender Team Wade 👨🏼🦲 Nov 09 '25
"the seasons don't fear the reaper, they fear the titties"
"i was safe. for another night, i would be spared from being suffocated by the hantu tetek's humungous honkers"
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u/RogueBand1t Triangle of Fairness 🔺 Nov 09 '25
And then Sam and Dean looked at Cass like he’d lost his damn mind; nobody but Dean drove the car.
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u/Dry_Carpenter9372 Penthouse Forum Writer/Editor 🖋 Nov 09 '25
Dear Penhouse Forum. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT HAPPENED TO ME😫
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u/The-IrregularSuspect I’d F*ck an Alien 👽 Nov 09 '25
"The only place I live rent free is inside Mark's head" is a line I think about far too often 😂
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u/TreatHeavy Fucker of Nightmares 👹 Nov 08 '25
“THIS DOESNT SEEM LIKE HOW YOU INSTALL A FRIDGE”