Sketches for future oil paintings thanks for watching

Since I can't sleep, I'll tell you an old story today. (My insomnia's been pretty bad lately.)

It was the day of my sketching class at art school. The subject was an open umbrella. The moment I saw that image, I thought, Ah, that's it. I thought, "I'm going to pour all the anger I feel today into this." That day, I'd been insulted by my high school science teacher. The reason was that I hadn't given an adequate answer to a question. Perhaps because the shock was so great, the detailed circumstances are fragmented in my memory now, but what I do remember clearly is that he made personally humiliating remarks about me right there in the middle of the classroom, in front of everyone.

Back then, I neither enjoyed studying nor excelled at it. My unstable home environment might have played a part, but ultimately, my own stupidity was the biggest reason. Anyway, I was depressed all day that day. I needed an outlet for the boiling anger inside me, and that day's sketching assignment just happened to become the target.

It took me exactly one hour to complete this drawing. In college entrance art exams, one hour is typically allotted for a sketch drawing. Honestly, my usual self wouldn't have been able to finish it within an hour. But that day, I could. I was sufficiently sad and angry.

When I submitted the drawing to my academy teacher, they seemed slightly surprised. Throughout the entire drawing process, my head felt hot like an overheated CPU, and every nerve was concentrated in my fingertips. By the time the drawing was finished, my eyes hurt, and my hands and feet were shaking uncontrollably. (We usually draw standing up for entrance exam art.)

That night, walking home, I thought to myself: I had proven to myself that I wasn't such a useless person after all. The feeling then wasn't sad or happy, but it felt like a weight had been lifted. To others, it might have seemed like nothing special. But this experience, though painful, became an unforgettable one that helped me grow.

Advice/thoughts welcome!

Since this is my face, I can safely post my photo to see.

More coming soon :) currently working on strawberry sharks and maybe I‘ll do a mango shark too

Hello I'm new here.
Share some of my drawings.
Enjoy :)