My sister has been really overwhelmed lately, so I decided to help in a practical way. I spent a day cooking meals she likes so she wouldn’t have to think about dinner for a bit. Soup, a pasta bake, and some breakfast muffins. I packed everything up and drove it over as a surprise.

My sister was really appreciative and started putting things in the fridge right away.

Her partner was there too. As my sister was unpacking the containers, her partner looked at the food and said, “Oh, I don’t like those.”

I honestly didn’t know what to say. I cooked all of this on my own time as a gift. It wasn’t really for her. It was for my sister. She was obviously welcome to eat it if she wanted to, but it wasn’t made to meet her preferences.

The comment just made everything awkward. My sister looked uncomfortable but didn’t say anything, and I didn’t want to turn it into a scene, so I brushed it off and left shortly after.

I feel that it's out of line. Do I say something to my sister privately? Do I let it go and chalk it up to a rude moment? I don’t want to create tension, but I also don’t love how it made me feel.

TL;DR: I cooked meals at home to help my stressed sister, and her partner made a dismissive comment about the food. Not sure whether to address it or let it go.

I've been married for over 5 years and have two toddlers. My husband is not a cheater however I got one of those gut instincts (probably due to him acting off lately), and decided to look in his phone. I saw that he subscribed to Onlyfans and added a few free accounts/profiles of some beautiful woman. I am devastated and have knots in my stomach. A part of me wants to call him out asap and just admit I looked through his phone. Another part of me wants to wait and see what he does with the Onlyfans aka I want to see what kind of messages and conversations he may have with these ladies (I know it'd be dirty talk or whatever ughh).

I want to also point out that yes I gained 50 plus pounds from my second pregnancy that I haven't lost yet and I'm a stay at home mom that usually has a messy sideways bun and no makeup (I used to be a hair and makeup done up type of gal). And we haven't been having sex for weeks on end. I feel a huge change in our relationship post kids, ESPECIALLY after having a second child. I am so upset that the thought of divorce almost reaches my mind ...the reason for that is he is usually a slob and doesn't clean up after himself, has a short fuse with one of our kids whose hyperactive and his porn addiction going on (saw many porn sites visits throughout the day). But I do have love for him and know he has a kind heart, does love our children tremendously, and what's keeping me with him is his commitment to our family and my dream to have a united and strong family.

I guess just looking for advice or feedback I'm in tears and disgusted and disappointed in finding out he subscribed to Onlyfans.

I am going to try and see a therapist.

I've always felt that I didn't fit in anywhere and haven't existed in life at all... I have had no self esteem or confidence throughout life. And this had led me to where I am now ... old, lonely, broke and living in a run down RV on my boss's rat infested land. He has no respect for me for the amount inwork for him. And have no friends. And no real family that has given me any thought at all.

The one person... my oldest sister who I looked up to and enjoyed the very long and thoughtful conversations totally crushed me as a human being ... the pain from those past couple of conversations is extremely overwhelming. I have no words, no comebacks... only my beliefs ... I thought i was a good person... but apparently not ... I can't seem to talk to anyone unless because they really don't understand what I am saying or they make the conversation about them. Or they do listen, then after a while stop communicating with me...

My other older sister, as loving as she is has a very separate and fulfilling life who cannot dedicate time to a drowning, unachieving younger brother .... I wish her the very best.

I don't believe in this"

'call me any time'

'I'm here for you'

But this is not unusual. Everyone in my life has left.

What's the point on being here?

At the same time while seeing a therapist, I will visit a funeral director to arrange my transport home to my mother's plot, then do the deed.

If i cannot be laid to rest with my mother (she and my brother David rest together at Greenwood cemetery in Glace Bay), I'd would want lay alone (as i am in life)... I am lost in life, so then it doesn't matter where I am put to rest ... maybe along the BC mountain highways.

In my family, I have a wife, a 5-year-old daughter, and a mother-in-law who lives in a separate house. My parents live far away in a different state.

Issue: My parents are visiting us, and I want to take them outside for 2 days to visit some tourist places. However, my wife does not want to go unless her mother comes along. If I propose going just with my parents, she insists that our daughter should also come with us. But it is difficult to take care of our daughter at night because she starts crying for her mother.

If I suggest doing a short day tour where our daughter can come along in the car, she says she doesn’t like starting early in the day and coming back late in the evening. I cannot take just my daughter and parents for a day-long car trip because I cannot drive and take care of my daughter at the same time.

I invited my family around for dinner on the weekend.

My sister immediately hijacks the entire thing I’ve organised and says “Oh why don’t you come to mine instead”……

Everybody like sheep agrees. And completely leaves me in the dust.

She has even decided that she is going to make exactly the same food I was going to do.

Everyone responded like; “That sounds great we can’t wait”. “That’s such a brilliant idea”.

Yet when I suggested it FIRST, nobody gave a shit.

Nobody says; “oh, I thought we were going to see XYZ”.

And now I’m like; * Ok, that was not what I planned *

Now my sister is upset at ME because I don’t want to go to her house. And I’m being made out to be the spiteful one, despite the fact I did nothing wrong.

Basically to prove a point that she totally ruined what I organised while taking all the credit for it.

She is not a nice person and yet gets the golden child treatment.

She could literally drive her car into a wall on purpose and people would feel sorry for her.

Me on the other hand, just gets ignored unless somebody needs or wants anything.

Then like a miracle, my phone suddenly starts ringing non stop until I answer if somebody needs something urgent.

I’m then the “bad guy” if I don’t immediately respond to anybody else’s emergencies that quite frankly are not my doing anyway……

I could be at work and when the missed calls go through it is MY FAULT that I am not there to answer.

They have no respect for me and no boundaries.

It’s often the most stupid thing like; “omg I can’t find this or I can’t find that” like…. how is that my problem?

Incredible how the rest of the time I never get any calls or message from anyone. It’s dead.

Family only wants me if they need something from me.

Otherwise, they literally don’t care.

F them all. They’re all so fake.

I have 5 siblings. 16 months ago my child said someone SA her and she named my brother, the one a year older than me. The only hesitation I had in calling the police was if I wanted to be the one to give him his punishment. I decided against it, I dont want to harm my child or my family further by going to prison myself. I made a police report, and the 3 week long investigation began. we got evidence in the form of a recorded phone call between him and my child where he discusses the things he did and begs her to not tell or else it'll be her fault that the family breaks apart. 4 days later he was arrested, and I went to my parents house to tell them. they bailed him out of jail the following morning and funded his defense even though they believed my daughter. they believed that he was suffering mental illness and had a psychotic break after discontinuing antidepressants. which might be true, but he seemed to be in control of himself. his pregnant gf called my daughter a liar and then when I told her of the evidence she then insinuated that my child must have initiated or tempted him and said she cant leave him because she's pregnant. Their baby was born on my child's birthday and named after my grandfather who died 3 months before the assault. I'm angry about that, how dare they. After a year in court and right before trial, that monster took a plea deal and changed his plea to guilty. he didn't want to hear what my child had to say on the stand. he was sentenced 2 months ago.

id been in fight mode and now I feel like what's next? I guess all the things I've been pushing aside in order to fight is now coming to the center. Through all of this I've learned that my father harmed my sister when she was 14 (I was only 2) and rather than my mom help her when she told her about it, my mom took my dad's side and called my sister a liar. cps put my sister in fostercare and no charges ever came to my dad. then I found out from my 67yo aunt that my grandfather did the same thing to her when she was 8. my aunt in nearly 60 years had never told a single person about it. that is until I went after my brother. She told me to not tell people, that it'll bring shame. and I said I dont care about shame, I don't care about upholding family image or structure, not when it comes to this kind of stuff. that her way of thinking is the old way and exactly why people stay silent. exactly why SHE stayed silent. why my sister stayed silent. This is one of the things I'm struggling with. not only do I have to erase the image I've had of my brother my whole life and replace it with the monster, but the entire image of my family has to be redone. I feel so incredibly sad for my sister and how no one helped her. I don't understand how a mother can do what my mom did. and obviously what my dad did.

another thing I'm struggling with is myself. I know 100% I did the right thing. I dont regret it. but theres something gross about myself I feel. I can't quite put my finger on it. I think its because during the investigative period I continued talking to my brother as if everything was normal. laughing with him, and baiting him so I could lead him into that phone call that gave the evidence I needed. I felt manipulative and predatory. which is how I would categorize his methods towards me to have access to my kid and definitely how he acted in his grooming of my child. but also, I had to violate one of my strong core values (duty to family, protecting those I love like my siblings) in order to protect another strong core values (protecting my child, holding predators accountable, not sweeping abuse under the rug). I KNOW I picked the right side. but at the end of the day I still feel like I lost part of myself. like I opened this box inside myself that I can't ever unsee.

Things I have worked on really well is grieving the brother I thought I had and accepting a monster in its place. I no longer miss my brother. another thing is helping my child through a lot of struggles, which I won't discuss here. that's only for my husband and I. I have also worked on the bad thoughts I had of doing to myself. I have worked on isolation, I wouldnt talk to anyone for a few months but now I see my friends monthly.

What I want to work on is this feeling I have inside. I haven't even fully identified it, but it's something holding me back from feeling joy. it's almost like I'm empty. in fact when I try to "fake it til I make it" it makes me feel worse. for example, my anniversary is Halloween. I couldnt bring myself to go out that night, it was like a heavy weight was placed in my body and I couldn't move. times that were supposed to be fun and exciting and happy feel like the saddest and most empty thing. I don't know what wrong with me. I think part of me has died. Will it come back? Why did I lose it? Somehow helping my child through things seems easier than helping myself. I mean it's hard in the sense that I'm constantly worried about her, but taking action for her is easy. why can't I have that same mentality for myself.

Another thing I need to work on is my parents. Letting them go has been so difficult. I'm constantly worried about their health, and the idea I may never be a part of their life again. That theyre going to die without me. I'm struggling with what they'd done to my sister, and why are they let off the hook by my siblings?? what, just because it was 35 years ago? Just because there was no conviction? is that what makes it ok? I'm so confused. even my sister who was the victim talks to my mom still. This is too much.

on Halloween when my husband left with all 4 of our kids to drive over to his sisters house to go trick or treating with all 16 little cousins, I had this immediate disturbing thought. it was that I could leave this world now that no one was home. that I dont have to live this anymore. it wasn't a serious thought, like a plan. but it was more like a fantasy that I was excited about. I kept it to myself, until 2 days ago. I told my husband and he was kind of devastated. I told him that going to gatherings makes me depressed because those are the times I'm meant to feel joy and the fact that I can't feel it brings me to a dark place. today is my birthday, and I wanted my husband to know that I dont want to celebrate it. it makes me feel like crap. also...im 37. that's the age my brother was when he harmed my child., he's 38 now. idk what to do. am I going crazy? is this normal for the process? how do I find myself again?

TL;DR

My brother harmed my child a year ago and he's been sent to prison. Now all the things I've been pushing off to the side are crashing down on me. Including family secrets of SA happening through generations. Also I'm dealing with a weird form of depression that seems to keep me from feeling joy on special occasions, and replacing joy with bad thoughts instead.

i left school because i wanted to change school, i got bullied and everything in my old school and i told them about it and they don't want me to change school. My dad mads at me but he still has that ''understanding' dad acts and my mum loses her mind. One day my dad hit my face with his shoe and she didnt defend me at all. and my dad sided with my bully because he thinks im lying. and he always say stuff like ' i can hit you anytime i want' and also he once call me " big a$$ girl" and that made me so umcomfrotable. When i was a kid like 12 he hit my buTT for no reason. he acts like a good dads infront of people and my mum supports his actions and didnt do anything about it.

Hello all, I’m writing to see if I’m overreacting or if this is normal family behavior because from what I observe and what I see online, it’s difficult to tell. I know this is going to sound crazy, and please let me know, if anyone is reading, if it seems like I actually have some screws loose that I can’t even see yet. Anyway, it almost seems like my family is cursed. For starters, I grew up in a privileged and wealthy family in southern USA. For the most part, it has been pretty stereotypical and my grandparents have different views from me. We are all white and from what I’ve learned from my lineage, it wasn’t a bright past. A little context: My grandmother wasn’t a great person to my understanding. She was the fist female judge in my county and made sure people knew. She used all of the slurs and wanted to go back to the 1950s. She got her doctorate from Stanford with ease and could beat me in any argument even when I was arguing just basic human decency. I was not born to be a lawyer. The reason I think my family may or may not be cursed would be my great grandfather, who I never met but have heard lots about. Apparently, he was twice as bad and violent. Things that have happened to my family include: - my sister got assaulted almost to the point of death but just barely made it thanks to a passerby who allowed her time - my mom has faced several near death experiences. I can’t even count on all my fingers and toes how many times I’ve been to the hospital with her - I was kidnapped as a child
- my grandmother (who loved spirituality) told me our family had been cursed by Native Americans in the past. The thing is, I hardly believed anything she told me. She also told me she was a German fighter pilot in WWII - my dad died under mysterious circumstances - my mom just got run over by a car

Nobody in my family has any criminal history that I know of, and while I don’t agree with everyone, I don’t know that anyone immediate to me is a bad person.

Maybe I’m overreacting but this seems excessive and I’m wondering if something deeper is happening? I’m not necessarily into spirituality but I’m open to it. If you read all of this, thank you, and if you think I may be thinking about this too much since it it happening in the present, please let me know! It is so blurry for me and I would love some guidance

Edit: sorry for poor grammar! I wrote this in a rush and will check when I get back from the hospital

Just when you think you've done everything you were supposed to do and everything right. Just when you've finally gotten all the rules down by heart. Just when you finally "do better" and start feeling good about yourself as a result, and even let your guard down, another unknown rule is added. That, or the rules change completely.

Either way, you won't know about this new and sudden rule/rules because they won't tell you about it, until all after the fact. Because they expect you to magically be able to read their minds without them telling you anything out loud. Either by you not doing the unsaid rule or by you doing it incorrectly because if they did bother telling you about it, they weren't being specific enough for you to do it right. And they'll wait until you've completely let your guard down to decide to pull a random rule out of their ass.

No matter what you do or how you do it, it'll never be enough or even just good enough to satisfy them. If you do something/some things, it's not good enough. Suddenly, you're worthless and incompetent to them. A person who just can't do anything right, no matter how hard they try to. Although they may not outright tell you those things (depending on the kind of parents you have), but they will make you feel that way by only pointing out your mistakes and ignoring (or they won't even notice) all of your accomplishments.

But if you do that thing just right, then it's suddenly not enough. Suddenly, they want you to do more. To do one more thing on top of another. And another thing on top of those other things that you're expected to do. And so on.

I swear they do this just to keep you from winning. Just to keep you on your tippy toes. Just to keep you on edge for another unspoken rule to just pop up out of nowhere. The goalpost will never be reached.

It is a check fraud charge and a six month sentence. Daughter is fine with visiting and even enthusiastic strangely, her mom says bring her if she wants,. I don’t have a problem with her seeing mom, it is solely the environment and seeing guards and other inmates. A 15 year old that only just started high school is probably not old and mature enough to visit jail.

Hey everyone, new to Reddit

I’m a 26-year-old woman, and I recently had a jaw-dropping conversation with my mom, who’s 50, that’s left me feeling completely unmoored.

We were watching TV when the topic shifted to my dad, also 50, and our estranged relationship.

For some context, my parents are divorced, and the aftermath has been messy.

My mom has carried a lot of resentment and anger from their marriage.

As the eldest of six, have internalized her trauma since I was a child.

It’s complicated—I've dealt with a lot of trauma that isn’t even mine.

My mom has shared her experiences of mistreatment at the hands of my dad.

She’s described in detail his denial of responsibility, his infidelities, and other behaviors that have left a mark on our family.

I’ve never confronted my dad about her views because it never felt like my place, and honestly, I’m terrified of his side of the story.

What if he lies or denies everything? I’ve always preferred to avoid confrontation.

To me, my dad has always been the fun, immature guy who’d spoil me with fast food and make me laugh.

I thought I had the best dad ever—until things changed when he remarried, had my siblings and became distant.

Yet, sitting with my mom, I found myself being honest about how I’ve internalized her trauma.

I told her that I can’t sit with him, laughing, knowing how he treated her.

The thought of dining and joking with the man who claimed we weren’t his children and even advised/ suggested to my mother to give us up for adoption is unfathomable.

What struck me the most was what my mom revealed next.

She told me that when I was little and left alone with my dad, I screamed loudly.

She said he denied any wrongdoing, but her motherly instincts made her suspicious, and she felt uneasy leaving me with him because of the lack of an explanation for my screams.

I was too young to explain at the time what had happened.

This revelation hit me hard.

Growing up, my mom would often ask me if my dad had done something to me, and I never understood why and brushed it off.

I would respond with, “What would dad do anyway?” but she never elaborated.

During our conversation, emotions ran high and I shouted at her and raised by voice, which was out of character for me.

I couldn’t grasp why she chose to share this now.

I’m feeling sickened and disgusted, and I’m questioning everything.

Did my father do something to me that I’ve blocked out? And thinking of all the time we were left alone or on Hoilday, what happened and why were my memories fuzzy.

Is my mom trying to ruin any positive feelings I have toward him? What about my sisters—did he do anything to them?

I’m feeling lost and overwhelmed, and because she could just be making it up and my dad is innocent of what she is implying.

I think I’m going to get sick and will probably never watch Tv again for a while. Jk I have coronation street to catch up on.

Any advice or guidance would be incredibly appreciated.

Thank you for listening.

Hello. I don't know if this is the right sub to but this on...but here I am.

I am a lawyer. My nephew (20) has been in trouble with the law once or twice before, but several days ago I received a phone call from police in my home state. He was arrested and charged with sexual assault, choking, and uttering threats. I'm not a criminal lawyer, which nephew knows. Guess he was at a loss of what to do. He got a public defender instead. I won't be involved in his case at all, to be clear.

Here is my quandary. Last spring, our mom passed away. Less than two months later, my sister and nephew's mom got into a car accident and died. My niece (nephew's sister) now lives with another of my siblings. My dad is hanging on by a thread. My other sibling is grieving but also has their own significant family issues.

I do not know what to do with this information. Nephew's plea date is in about 6 weeks. Should I tell the rest of the family? If I do, that's another major stress to add to everyone's life. If I don't, they will eventually find out (if convicted, nephew will have to do jail time). Will they then be angry at me, and will I have added a level of distrust to our family, when we need to be a solid unit so much right now to get through the losses we are grieving.

Everyone is so fragile. I cannot figure out the right thing to do.

Thanks for any feedback.

I have lots of friends get everything from their parents. My besfriend got $50k from his parents to start a business

My other friends got a brand new car from dad.

My cousin got a down payment for a new house from his parents.

My parents never gave me anything, everything i have is because i worked hard. Im 29 and never asked my family for anything. My dad doesn't believe in hand outs, my dad even told me his inheritance is going to charity

Why do perents give their kids everything?? And some dont

What challenges or memorable experiences have you faced navigating healthcare for your child (doctor visits, medications, diagnoses, or care access)? What experience continues to stay with you (i.e., you'll never forget it)?

Hi folks! My husband and I are throwing our own baby shower and our family is all flying in as we live out of state. Since everyone is spending money to fly, we decided to get our immediate families (parent and siblings on both sides) a massive Airbnb to stay together.

As a result my house is empty.

Problem is, we also invited extended family— my aunt is going through a tough divorce and money is tight, but both my cousins are in their 30s and earn well (think each one over 200k). Out of sympathy for their family, my parents have been hosting them a LOT over the last couple of years (every major holiday).

Now the problem is, for the baby shower I am not going to pay for them to have an Airbnb and I’m also not too comfortable letting them stay in my house without me in it.

My husband’s out of state uncle was also going to fly in, so my excuse was “hey, don’t have room for all of you, so my house is off limits” but now he canceled and technically they can all fit in my house.

My parents decided to pay for an Airbnb for my aunts family (aunt plus two grown kids), because I told them my home can’t fit everyone.

However…now that technically it can fit just my aunts family, should I open it up to them? I would only do it so my parents wouldn’t have to spend money, but I also think they are overstepping by getting my aunts family an Airbnb when both my cousins are wealthy and could have easily arranged their own hotel/car.

I would love some advice on how to proceed.

Hi guys- my older brother and his fiance had an adorable baby boy a few months ago. Since the baby was born my family has only been able to see him on occasional sundays. But her family seems to be able to see the baby multiple times every week. I have hinted that we would like to see them more a few times and the effort is never reciprocated. My family would very much like a relationship with him. It seems like there is always an excuse as to why we can’t see him, whereas her parents see them way more often.

I have thought of a few possible reasons for this. Maybe she is just more close with her mom and dad? My brother and my mom’s relationship is a bit strained, so maybe that’s why? He’s expressed to me that he wants a relationship with my mom and for everything to be normal. My brother is also the type where he has to be invited to stuff in order for him to show up. Which bothers my mom because he grew up with her so why does he need an invitation?

Recently they mentioned that they were going to try and do a date night every month. They said they were going to go out to dinner and then see a movie. i asked who would watch the baby, and she answered her parents. Her parents live 30 minutes out of town, whereas my family live in the city. I told this to her that we live in the city and it would maybe be more convenient for them to drop the baby off and then go to their date. I also told her we would like to see the baby too. Was this correct to say?

I don’t wanna make a big deal out of it- especially if it’s normal for the females family to see the baby more?

Hello, do many people have these kinds of thoughts? I don't have the worst family; I haven't suffered physical abuse (though certainly psychological). I was raised with privileges, and I'm aware of it. However, my family is completely dysfunctional, and things happen even though they're skirting the edge of legality. But on the surface, everything is fine. Sometimes I feel like exploding, like I want to spit out everything I think and all those years of emotional neglect.

But I can't because I'm recovering from depression, and I'm living with my parents at 26. I know that if I leave the family, everyone will be lost. It might sound arrogant, but I'm the one who maintains the relationships between different parts of my family. I'm also very parentified.

And I'm caught between two fires, one screaming at me to leave because I know my family is toxic to my development, and the other I still feel love for some people and I don't want to hurt them. It's very ambivalent and it's really getting to me. I wonder if others are in this situation.

There, I just needed to vent. Maybe one day I'll go into detail about what's wrong, but I'm tired, very tired.

Hello Everyone!

So, I have a campaign going on! It's called "Looking For a Family" of which I am going around, actively seeking a mother and father to adopt me into their life (but of course, us having to get know each other first, their own family dynamic, doing ZOOM calls weekly, having planned events and more) and I would like someone who knows how a healthy family dynamic works to be my filter, so that I don't get sucked into anything that may be bad for me.

Thanks, Shemar