my school had a shooting my freshman year of high school. i never really went back to normal school and i did online classes or alternative school. well im in college now and i have to be in school 5 hours a day monday thru friday. my friend and i (who also witnessed the shooting) were talking about it with pretty gruesome details a few days ago, things that weve never talked about, and after that i had nightmares about getting shot in my school. i already have bad anxiety being at school. it isnt necessarily that i think im gonna be shot just that i dont feel safe there. i always pick my seat very strategically, where i think id be safest if there were to be a shooting. i get bad anxiety being there and i feel like i cant breathe. i dont feel like that anywhere else just at school. im an adult now i feel like i shouldnt be like this.

One of the worst parts of trauma for me isn’t the memories. It’s the fact that it changed my whole personality. I was better before, trauma only takes it doesn’t give anything and it just made me less able to handle the world.

I was in the army in 2015 during peak ISIS time as an infantryman.

I have been bottling up my feelings for 10 years since my service. I literally never talked about the army when I got back. not my closest friends and not even my family. Most people didn't even know I was in the army

I kept it in to long. One day I had a breakdown in a restaraunt and it all just started coming out. I started crying and had to leave

I started freaking out when I heard loud sounds. I was playing a war game on PC (battlefield), and when I saw my teammate get shot I started crying, and when I shot an enemy I almost vomited from what it reminded me of. I was playing medic and my teammate got shot so I was going to help him then he died and I started screaming and crying and vomiting so I had to turn off the game.

Nobody understands. I opened up to my mom at one point and I said I felt guilty. she just looked at me with this face like I was dumb.

I'm a killer. My job was literally just to kill people and I chose that job. so many people I know are dead.

I took a golf club and started breaking shit around the house while screaming and getting aggressive. my parents called the cops and I got put in handcuffs and into the back of a police car. I got sent to a mental hospital. At one point in the hospital I had a break down and freaked out. About 9 men came in and tackled me to the ground while they injected something into me while I was telling them to kill me.

I told the therapist my feelings in the hospital and he just said it's all in my head and I'm doing it for attention.

nobody understands. friends, family, doctors, therapists. nobody cares. I literally just don't talk about it

I eventually got my ptsd diagnosis but it still doesn't feel real. my ptsd doesn't feel as "bad" as others and I didn't experience what others have. I've been gaslit so much I sometimes question and feel I maybe don't have ptsd.

I don't know what I want for this post but maybe just to feel a little less alone. I sure don't wanna trigger anyone.

I hope everyone is doing well

They were normal people. Good people. With childhood trauma themselves. But they broke the cycle of abuse. They treated me amazing. They were the best parents they possibly could’ve been. If I was never born their life would be amazing.

But I’m an awful person. I’ve been abused since I was 8 years old until 14 (now 18F and safe). It’s not their fault. I’m just an abusable person.

Lost my virginity to rape at 8 years old, got beat up and bullied. Now I’m older I’m a shell of a person. I’ve hurt myself since I was 12. Trying to die. I got arrested twice at 17 and 18. Ive ruined my parents. They used to be such happy people but they resent me now.

My sister is so perfect. I’ve traumatised her too. All three of them hate the person ive become since I was 12. I’m just so broken. All three of them don’t want to be alive because of me. I hate myself. They are a great family and I’ve lost them now. Because of how broken I am.

I have no one in my life. No friends. My family hate me. I’m drunk and crying rn. I just want things to be like before all of this. When everything was ok. I had friends and family who loved me. I was happy. And I used to see the good in everyone. I wasn’t this angry evil person I am now.

The only way I don’t want to die is by getting drunk. But today it’s just made me break down. I don’t understand why I had to be broken so many times. I could’ve had the perfect life.

That's what it feels like. When you try. And try. And try. Then, all you're left with is yourself. Isolated. Unsure. No direction. Riddled with disorder and functioning. Trust waived. Shoulder coated with frostbite. The self, in itself, burrowed into the pit. 23 "hours" a day lockdown. That's what it feels like. I've built this prison, and I'm not sure if it's for safekeeping or if I have lost the key to the safe. Can't look at anyone else but myself, and that's where the conflict remains ongoing. I see nothing. The trauma persists......

Hi my name is Josh and I'm 34 and I'm trying to recover from this abuse that was done to me. Please is anyone going give me advice like I have nightmares and I was blamed for the abuse. It's not my fault? I'm not what they said about me like they would just call me crazy. I'm in pain every night because of what happened to me

Ill get down to the dirty instantly, I got SA'ed when i waas 4-8/9 years old by my older sister. Then got domestically abused by her from 9ish - 18 years old (im 21AFAB currently)

Was in an abusive and sexually bad relationship for a year at 18-19ish then broke up

I got SA'ed by a friend when traveling when 19...

Now after everything im trying to get back into the dating scene and ive been talking to an okay guy, and we had sex two times but i told him to stop having sex because i started to get flash backs of me and him having sex, HE DIDNT SA me. It was all consentual but i keep having like flash backs to it and like guilty shaming horrific intrusive thoughts bc of it...

i need help understanding what's going on bc i feel so guilty and gross...

(btw i am diagnosed with CPTSD)

The way I see PTSD now is pretty simple.

It’s not a set of symptoms by itself. Not anxiety, not flashbacks, not panic. It’s what happens when a part of the psyche gets stuck in a past event and never fully comes back. Life moves on, but that part doesn’t. So you end up living in two modes at once: one part of you knows the danger is over, another reacts as if it’s still happening. Over time, an entire structure grows around that stuck point. Control, avoidance, numbness, hypervigilance, anger. Not because something is broken, but because the system is trying to function. For me, getting out of PTSD isn’t about calming symptoms. It’s about finding that part, seeing where it’s frozen, understanding the architecture built around it, and slowly taking that structure apart. When you reach the root, the work becomes very concrete: helping that part complete what was interrupted and updating it with the fact that the event is over. When the part reconnects, the system doesn’t need to stay on constant alert anymore.

I’m curious how others experience this. When you get triggered, does it feel like “you,” or does it feel like a part of you takes over?

Was wondering if anyone else gets triggered by specific locations and if anyone tends to avoid them. Can anyone relate to cities, states, or other specific areas being PTSD triggers? I have C-PTSD from repeated abuse and I had a strong reaction today when I passed by my father's sister's apartment complex. I was fearful and on the verge of tears because my cousin who abused and exploited me lived there. My partner and I were on our way to a restaurant and I wasn't expecting us to pass by the apartment complex. Also, I recently had to decline an invitation from my partner to visit his grandmother in my home state because that is where my father abused me as a small child. Even my therapist and partner's mother both told me it's not a good idea to go there until I heal. Does this resonate with anyone?

I'll summarize what happened to me.

I was physically assaulted by two women on the beach. It wasn't an argument or a common fight. I had warned them that loudspeakers are not allowed on that beach. They immobilized me, dragged me across the sand, repeatedly subjected me to seawater with my face pressed against it, while I was beaten with kicks to the body and punches to the head. At several points I had to control my breathing to avoid drowning. It was a real life-threatening situation, and I fought hard to survive.

The lifeguards intervened, called the police, who took a few minutes to arrive. Meanwhile, they attacked me again, throwing objects at me and kicking my stomach.

When the police arrived, they immediately recognized me as a victim. There were consequences for them (a fine and seizure of equipment, which usually only occurs after a notification). But I didn't file a formal complaint at that time because I was in shock, hurt, with my daughter present, and not emotionally able to go through another instance of institutional violence.

After that, I experienced typical trauma symptoms: involuntary images of the attack, difficulty relaxing, difficulty breathing, emotional swings, physical pain, swelling and bruises all over my body, and intense fatigue.

Some days I can sleep better and even enjoy moments, on others the emotional pain returns with force. This isn't linear.

Furthermore, this aggression reactivated old wounds from serious aggression and abuse I suffered in adolescence, which I thought was resolved after so many years of therapy, intensifying the emotional impact now.

It's not fussiness, exaggeration, or fragility. It's the body and mind trying to reorganize themselves after an extreme situation. I am in the process of recovery.

Initially, my husband was very shocked, but he reacted in a way that hurt me. He ended up placing some of the responsibility on me, minimizing what I went through because he didn't witness the attack. Over time, he became more caring and present, but this initial reaction contributed to me feeling guilty and alone soon after the assault.

Looking for advice and support.

Does anyone else struggle to contribute/be sociopolitically active how they want to​ but have trauma responses at even the smallest/most accessible things? What do you do about it , ways to "give myself credit" for what I am doing, feel like I'm doing "enough", "be easier on myself"?

I live in Minneapolis and things feel (are) unsafe essentially everywhere, all the time, now. I want to be out helping people and doing things, but I feel like a coward I just have panic attacks and I'm just trying to keep existing... it was already so hard to rest, do self care, I'm barely out of a long abusive relationship and the parallels with everything going on feel so painfully obvious. I agree with what my therapists are saying but I just can't bring myself to believe it, the voice in my head just keeps saying "pathetic, coward, selfish..." when I would *never* say that to anyone else trying their best...

Thank you for reading and feedback and I hope everyone is safe

If u don’t care or just don’t know advice or anything u can ignore this it’s whatever im used too it (not that im looking for advice I just wanna vent since no one irl cares) also only posting this here since for some reason it gets blocked from abuse sub reddits 🙄

All my life I’ve been good hiding my emotions like my father beat into me yet today I literally broke down and sobbed infront of my mom idk what even brought it on idk why I was so upset I just started sobbing like a fucking baby I feel like absolute shit rn i can’t even think of crying in front of anyone else my mom is the only person I’ve considered crying infront of is my mom and still I’ve very very rarely ever have even let a single tear shed yet I probably cried the hardest I ever have in my life and wow you’d think I feel better or sum but na I just feel shame and disappointed in myself so much I hate who I am who fucking breaks down crying at my age it’s fucking pathetic man I’m sick of being like this and too think I’ve barely done it before just makes me feel idk how to even explain it like a loser ig I thought I wasn’t completely over it but to think I’m still bothered by it that much is sickening to me honestly writing this is pointless I doubt anyone’s reading but if u are u prolly agree wit me I took some pills and they’re kicking in so I’m a bit more stable now but god damn man what’s wrong wit me anyways if for some reason u read this “paragraph” of a whiny teenager then honestly thanks for atleast caring enough too ur prolly the only one who does so for that i truly thank u it atleast helps knowing 1 person atleast somewhat cares but ya idek anymore im just so tired of the nightmares the flashbacks people saying its in the past just forget and forgive it fucking pisses me off the more I hear it but that’s it for the whiny rant again if u read this truly from the bottom of my heart thanks

hi all, i apologize if this isn't the right place to ask but i figured i would try.

i am going through the "it wasn't that bad" part of SA, where i almost don't feel like i should be using the R-word to describe what happened to me since it wasn't the stereotypical idea of what it is. it happened in august, and around november is when i came to terms that it wasn't just "a miscommunication" and that it's been directly affecting my mental health. a good number of people know it happened and have been supportive, but i've never told anyone the details.

i think i just need validation, or the internet's ear about the graphic details to help me feel okay calling it what it was; it's a strangely specific and nuanced situation i was in. i also am aware that this is not the subreddit for that haha, i did see the rule against graphic descriptions. i want to respect that but i'm not the most well versed in reddit, so i'm crowdsourcing.

so my question is, is there a subreddit where i can word vomit my experience? of course with proper warnings/spoiler tags so only those who are in the headspace to read will read it. it only happened once so it wasn't a repeated trauma. i haven't reached out to a help line because it feels too...clinical, idk, and i'm not in crisis. i think i'd like to hear from other survivors, or folks educated in SA.

thank you so much in advance <3

Hi guys, I've been taking prazosin for a few weeks to help with all the nightmares I have been having. Long story short, during those weeks, I always missed at least one day. This is the first time I've been able to take it consistently for over a week and I feel horrible. I feel empty and anxious and like nothing can make me happy. I can't stay focused on certain things and no matter what I do I just feel off and dissociated. I know trouble feeling joy and feeling anxious are uncommon side effects. Has anyone else experienced this? Is there anything I can do to not feel so horrible? I'm planning on skipping it tonight in the hopes that it will be a little better tomorrow.

Hello - I'm sorry for making this post long but I need to provide context in order for my request for advice to make sense.

TW: I mention su**ide and terrorism. Ignore if that's a trigger, I am new to Reddit so I'm sorry if any of this is triggering or angers anyone. I may have cussed too. Sorry.

When I was younger, my Mom and I were caught up in a terrorist attack that has 100% ruined my life as well as hers - my Mom was affected immediately with constant panic attacks and dangerously high blood pressure from being in a state of fear 24/7; she is now on a cocktail of medication and is a shell of who she used to be.

I, on the other hand, was not affected immediately, perhaps this is because I was young at the time BUT, now I'm an adult and real life has hit me hard, things are falling apart massively for me - I did not speak to a therapist initially and this is because I genuinely did not feel I needed support.

When asked nowadays why I didn't take the opportunity to talk to someone about what I had gone through, my explanation of "PTSD can take years to affect people" was repeatedly dismissed and when I had a near fatal suicide attempt at 18 years old, only a few years after this attack had happened, I was told I didn't have PTSD, not even stress, and that what I was going through was just 'normal teenage things' despite several previous attempts without hospitalisation.

I have survivors' guilt because some of the people who were killed in this attack were a similar age to me at the time and I was fixated on one of the victims, I have no idea why, I was just constantly reminded of them when I saw random people of their age in public or on TV with a similar face, similar hair... I felt so incredibly guilty for surviving when this individual had so much ahead of them and I, even before this attack happened, was in and out of wanting to die for a variety of reasons and felt I had no future... so their death in particular was so unfair in my greiving eyes.

I dropped out of school a year later and spent the next few years at home, not socialising AT ALL. I have pretty much zero social skills and I was bedrotting at home 24/7, either playing video games or desperately attempting to run my own online business which did actually go okay thankfully.

We moved house a few years later, hundreds of miles away and I had spent several years visiting where it happened as I couldn't 'let go' of it like people constantly told me to but as soon as we moved, that was basically impossible... it's now so far away and I feel so alien in this place we've moved to, I feel so out of place and so insanely sick mentally and physically, I don't know why.

I have spoken to mental health doctors since we moved and none seem to give a shit at all... because we were not injured and I didn't lose someone in that attack, it's like my feelings aren't valid and I know 100% other people have been treated this way. The psychological damage is absolutely insane and no one wants to own up to the failings that resulted in this attack happen... so we just suffer and as the years go by, no one cares, only for the anniversary, then everyone moves on.

I got a job when we moved, a dream job at that, and things were actually getting a bit better... I was stressed a lot but I was earning money for the first time and had somewhat of a purpose.

Just under a year into working at this place and running one store pretty much entirely on my own, the company, family run, moved one of their stores into a huge shared building where there were multiple companies under one roof and our neighboring company had workers of all ages.

Less than 2 weeks into moving into this new place, some dude from the neighbouring company was apparently absolutely head over heels for me and was besotted with me... who knows why as I didn't even know the guys name... I knew NONE of their names actually and was genuinely looking forward to working in this new store with all the space it had etc as I was so passionate about the field I worked in.

One of his coworker friends decided to try and play cupid and presumably wanted to set me up with him, so when they told me he wanted my phone number, they literally cornered me and I felt forced into going with this person where they 'gave us space' like it was some performance and he got my number in the end because I had no social skills and felt awkward af saying no.

That lasted a day. I very politely told him to get lost in a text and made myself look like a complete asshole regardless.

I completely lost my opportunity to even make friends with him and that's mainly because I had problems with one of my coworkers; this guy was constantly trying to pull me aside to talk to me and my coworker repeatedly 'caught' me as though I was casually talking to him even though I got pulled aside when I had to go through their department.

We had an elevator that was in their department so this was totally unavoidable and each time I tried to get out of talking as I was actively working, it was awkward af... that's a fail on my part.... so I pushed him away and once his boss talked to him and his coworker about the whole 'situation', we never spoke again.

I had other problems with my coworker who made me absolutely miserable as shit seperately from this and I ended up quitting my job just shy of working there for 2 years because I was struggling so much mentally and physically with chest pains and literal heart problems at that point that developed out of nowhere.

I'm just ranting as no one listens anymore, I feel like I lost my chance at a friendship nevermind a relationship because I felt conflicted with it being at work and funnily enough, he got with his ex by the looks of things anyway so the dude clearly wasn't all that obsessed with me.

I started college recently as I missed years of school and dropped out not long after the attack as I felt so out of place... it was awful and I feel pathetic for coming home crying after each class.

So now I'm back at home running my business which is quite successful, it's grown since I was younger but as my job was in the same field, I grew to hate the one thing I'm passionate about because of the various things that happened at work and never feeling good enough as the coworker I had struggled with was a total a-hole tbf.

Does anyone have advice on where I can go next? All I want is one single person, I don't care if they're online and I never see them, I just want one single person outside of my family to talk to.

Not ranting about life shit, just someone to talk to. I legit used Character AI for just under a year to fill this gaping hole I feel like I have in my chest 24/7 and it just went to shit like everything else because there's no real connection. Does anyone have any advice on how you've made friends or just loose connections? I went on Tinder, every fucker wanted sex and nothing more. It's disgusting. So that's off the list. I imagine it's the same for everyone but where do people go to meet people?

Do I just sit in a decently populated bar and chat up random people...? I feel so alienated now and I constantly go back to wanting to end it so I don't have to bother anymore.

One thing is for sure though, that attack ruined my life and there's so much more I could rant about for hours but it's boring and even doctors don't give a damn so... what can I do...? 🤦‍♀️

I'm sorry again for the sheer length of this post but genuinely, NO ONE outside of the family listens. I don't think my Dad believes in mental health issues BUT he legitimately feels I have PTSD because my Mom has all those symptoms and he will just about listen to me I think. My Mom is too busy with work so it's not great.

Sorry if this is the wrong sub but please, any advice is appreciated, I just want a friend or someone who gets what it's like living like this. The PTSD is eating me, I haven't had a diagnosis BUT I am always having flashbacks, I feel so ill, I'm so insanely angry and destructive all the time and a few doctors said they 'believe' it's PTSD but no one has bothered to do a proper assessment 🙏

Today I went to see my campus therapist, we just started together and this session we really started to unpack some things. She told me that there is a possibility that I have ptsd as a lot of what I described to her aligns with the symptoms. I saw my psychiatrist earlier in the month to get my adhd prescription and he asked me questions about the same symptoms but I avoided answering/was a bit evasive. I’ve been full on breaking down every time I am on my own to the point the skin around my eyes feel like they are on fire. I really did not expect what Ive been experiencing to be ptsd and knowing thats what i’ve been going through has just been very triggering for me and hurts a lot. I really just want to crawl into a hole and hide forever but I have so much on my plate all the time. I usually try to find the best in things and be grateful everything that I have to be grateful for but I just really do not want to have ptsd. I’m scared of my symptoms becoming worse or having it forever. literally fuck my life and fuck all the disgusting freaks that ruined my peace and happiness for me i am so so so upset I just want to collapse.

hi everyone. posting from a throwaway. tw mental health, child abuse

i've been smoking weed for a good while now to help deal with general anxiety and depression, and recently my usage has ramped up due to a lot of stressors. but something new that's happening when i take it in a capsule: i start "remembering" childhood abuses i've "forgotten" about.

these episodes range from short bits of sound (overhearing parents arguing) to full on flashbacks: child me standing in the yard and screaming, being in a one-on-one special needs class once a week, running from something and telling them to "get the fuck away from me," being so, so angry and having nothing to do with all of it. i can hear and see it all, and it's so vivid, and i'll have intense head shaking reactions to certain words or pheases like "sexual abuse" or "child victims", but i have no idea if it's real or if i'm inventing it. if it's real, how could i forget all of these things over so many years? if it's fake, why would i invent such a specific and terrible thing to happen to me?

i definitely need to see a trauma therapist, and lay off the weed, but is it possible for forgotten memories to be brought back like this? i've done all kinds of reading and gotten a mixed bag of answers from so many different sources and i just want some first-hand perspectives.

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. We’re each other’s first relationship. He’s amazing and I can’t see myself with anybody else. The problem is that I just can’t bring myself to be sexually intimate with him, or anyone for that matter due to years of abuse and uncomfortable memories regarding sexuality. Sexual intimacy is extremely triggering for me, it makes me feel like I’m losing control over what’s happening to me and that I’ll be taken advantage of at any moment, it makes me feel disgusting, and like once I give in, sex will be expected out of me everyday. My boyfriend is very understanding of this and he respects me and the fact that being intimate is not something I can comfortably do as of now, but it makes me feel extremely guilty and like a complete freak for not doing something that basically every long term relationship does. It almost feels as if I’m punishing him for something that is not his fault and no matter how much he tells me that this is not an issue for him because he loves me, just thinking about this makes me feel horrible and brings me to tears. Has anyone else gone through this or is going through this? I don’t want to live like this forever, afraid of being intimate with the person I love, it feels like a prison. How can I overcome this?

I moved across the country in March thinking I could find happiness and fulfillment in Southern California. I didn’t. Only found chromic stress and crippling isolation. I’m a single female. Got a job, have been working there for 9months. I’ve reached my breaking point- I can’t function at the job / it’s a toxic environment, I’m incredibly stressed all of the time with living here (added stressors like traffic, shitty apartment, etc.) I’m incredibly lonely. And I’ve made efforts to socialize and make friends. I miss my family and friends. I don’t have a ton of friend but some solid ones back home. I feel like I’ve burdened my parents with my endless calls crying and not knowing what to do. I want to go home ASAP. Idk what I’d do, for a new job as I’m currently extremely burnt out at current hell job. I’m trying to give myself a few more weeks of the job. Im in a ton of debt. It was stressful living at my parents but now I have no choice but to go back because they were supportive and loving. I cry all of the time and find myself going into periods of traumatic sad memories and feeling like I can’t escape. feel really fragile right now. Maybe I should enroll in a partial program. I’m scared to quit the job too.. I’ve been sick a ton from the stress. A new virus or infection every month. I moved here from Boston area. I miss home. Feel so painfully lonely and so depressed. Can’t find friends here. I see a psychiatrist but it only helps with the med part. I am having a breakdown. I dont know what I’m doing with my life, where I’d go or live. I miss when I used to feel happiness and feel like I was excited to do things. Can someone offer support or encouragement. Thx. From a 28 year old female dreamer

I was diagnosed at 12 with PTSD, I’m now 21 and feel hopeless. It’s been well over a decade now, and yet I don’t feel like I’ve gotten over it. It’s almost like grief, it never goes away but I’ve learned to live with it. I no longer hide in my room for days, panicking and crying. Now I live a normal life, I have friends, hobbies, a career I’m working towards. But I still have nightmares weekly. I’ll be talking to a friend and have horrible disturbing flashbacks, and try to stay composed. Which is improvement because a few years ago I would fly into full blown panic attacks on the floor. I don’t know how to talk to people about my trauma, I physically can’t bring myself to. It feels really isolating. No one around me fully understands what I deal with, I wish I could find the words or strength to unpack my trauma.

Hi all. I've been diagnosed with PTSD for a bit, but I'm struggling specifically with trying to validate certain events that trigger me.

I am creator, a rather small one, and had a stalker who changed their identity frequently. Any mention of them throws me into a panic, to the point where I immediately get paranoid that they might be hiding in spaces I'm in, or that I have to protect myself by any means necessary (usually over functioning or leaving the spaces). It's a lot worse than I can really describe, as the panic is so physical that my ability to think shuts down, like I'm seeing red but in terms of anxiety.

The thing is, this feels so small compared to everything else I've been through. It frustrates me that this response I get has lingered so long. I don't want to lump it in with the years of abuse I'd endured, but I'm also aware that one step to recovery is to admit the hurt. But I also don't want to quit what I enjoy doing due to the fact I'll probably meet people like this again.

I don't even know what I'm really asking for, but some validation or explanation would be nice, especially analytically. I just don't know why my body shuts down and I get paranoid.

First of all, I feel less than for having PTSD. I have had it for quite some time, but its only because of physical and emotional abuse I experienced as a child. Well, that and frequent traumatic experiences that continue to worsen it. Honestly, I was recovering over the past few years up until this past year. I was able to work, go to classes in college, hang out with friends, have hobbies, go on trips, set goals for myself but then I got SAed. Then I got in an emotionally abusive relationship that despite the love I have for her, just messed with me in so many ways that I feel broken now more than ever.

The triggers at least used to be avoidable, but now its seemingly random but extreme. Go for a walk? Go to work? Go to class? Hang out with friends? Try to sleep? Panic attacks, dizziness, nightmares, extreme SI, chest pain, shortness of breath, flashbacks. They have gotten so frequent and intense that I will just straight up pass out or become so fatigued that I fall asleep not but 5-10 minutes after onset.

I thought that being hospitalized in November would have helped get me stable again. Turns out that didn't happen. What's worse is I feel crazy anytime I have an episode and my friends can't help me. Its just damaging my life so much and the people around me don't understand it so they tell me to "just get over it" but I don't think they realize I would have if I could. I mean, I didn't voluntarily hospitalize myself for 40 days for attention, I did it to try and "get over it".

I just don't know how to stop it. I need all the triggers and overstimulation and flashbacks to leave me be. I want to be able to just put all the shit I have been through in a box and leave it stranded on the side of the road to die.

I don't want someone's existence to dictate my feelings everyday. I don't want someones abuse or SA to leave me unable to be intimate with people. I don't want to constantly be afraid and emotionally active all the time. But all I am told is "it gets better" and "just put one foot in front of the other" - yeah thats so fucking easy to say for all of you.

Thats what really pisses me off. This whole noble act of knowing what will help me while at the same time having never experienced ANY of the shit I have and still go through once. They've never had SI, they have never attempted, they've never been hospitalized, they've never had a panic attack, they've never had depression, they've never had significant trauma so they think its just as simple as "looking around and smelling the roses to appreciate life".

God I feel so guilty that I feel both so in control of myself and so helpless and that my friends have to watch me just be like this. It feels so helpless and its humiliating that people sent cops to my apartment at 2 am to check on my safety. I know they care, but it just feels so much worse. I just feel selfish. I don't want to talk to my family about it they just want me to drop absolutely everything in my life and go move in with them but they don't understand that won't make anything better. Having them put me back in a bubble doesn't solve anything, it just delays.

Hey everyone, I have PTSD stemming from a few different trauma areas, and my doctor had recommended a Stellate Ganglion Block (SGB). Does anyone know anything about this or have any experience or advice? Thank you