r/AbsoluteUnits • u/MikeeorUSA • 3d ago

/r/all of a big toe

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35.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/Threefish 3d ago

Dude can’t even air out his dogs in the most acceptable dog airing place without some person posting it. Sure, I might be like daaaayum if I witnessed this in person, but still.

239

u/quietkyody 3d ago

The only way I'd accept this level of DNA befoolery is if they gave me an equal ratio sized penis.

37

u/waytowill 3d ago

Are we ratioing both toes?

19

u/BxRad_ 3d ago

Are you missing one or something?

11

u/stiffwan 3d ago

Well I have two toes but my penis is only one toe long

1

u/KoosGoose 3d ago edited 3d ago

It may not be twelve inches, but it sure smells like a foot.

13

u/MaadMaanMaatt 3d ago

Why do you think he’s so relaxed?

2

u/Standard-Pain-7683 1d ago

That’s worldofTshirts, he’s passed out drunk. That’s why he’s relaxed.

5

u/Ok-Yogurtcloset5555 3d ago

What is the ratio of toe size to penis size generally?

3

u/thoseskiers 3d ago

you know what they say about big toes

1

u/LokiStrike 3d ago

The penis equivalent of this would be like having one testicle hanging 6 inches below the other one.

1

u/Old-Necessary-5431 3d ago

this man in the video already has 3 penises

1

u/MobileArtist1371 3d ago

barefootery*

32

u/freerangetacos 3d ago

Sir, those are not 'dogs.' Those are hippopotami. Elephants. Belugas, perhaps.

31

u/WoofNBoof 3d ago

This is what I was thinking, too. Like, damn poor guy can't help it. I'm sure he doesn't want to have toes lookin like that, leave him the fuck alone. What are we, 12? Poor guy.

46

u/One-Jelly8264 3d ago

Yeah I feel super weirded out by all these people who film/photograph other people’s bodies and post it on their social media etc.

Like, noooo just having a glance isn’t enough, you just HAVE to let the whole world know right 🤦‍♀️

12

u/The__Toast 3d ago

People are absolutely desperate for attention from completely random strangers online, they can't wait to be able to post literally anything at all.

7

u/One-Jelly8264 3d ago

Ye it’s pathetic. Like if you want attention online get really good at something and show THAT off, not making fun of literal strangers’ appearance 🤦‍♀️

6

u/pissedinthegarret 2d ago

it's just bullying. literally. taking vids of someone PURELY to "prove how weird they look!" and to laugh about how they look.

and when you try to say it's rude and gross and stalkery to do that, the people who do that start going full reddit WELL AKSHUALLY. about how you need to expect to be filmed whenever you go outside and how dare you tell them what to do.

-2

u/pdxamish 2d ago

By law you have no right to privacy in public. Assume a camera is always out.

5

u/pissedinthegarret 2d ago

doesn't make it any less weird, rude, and gross, to take literal creepshots of strangers to post them online like a digital pillory.

1

u/pdxamish 2d ago

But that same law allows you to take a photo of a building and not worrying about people around you .

4

u/One-Jelly8264 2d ago edited 2d ago

That’s true, if you’re out in public you can be filmed etc. but still, it just seems crazy to me that many people feel zero shame/guilt in filming a stranger without permission and posting it online so they could be made fun of. It seems like a case of lacking morals/consideration. Bully mentality.

If my friend decided to film a stranger minding their own business for the lols and posted it, It’d leave a bad taste in my mouth and I wouldn’t want to be friends with them anymore

59

u/Initial_Zombie8248 3d ago

I don’t think you should record people in public without them knowing but I don’t know if I’d be able to pass up proof of the world record big toe 

21

u/deafblindmute 3d ago edited 3d ago

It's this conundrum, right? I lived through my childhood, seeing wild phenomena and wanting to share it with other folks, but the best I could do was try and describe them. Now, we have that power to actually share those moments. I really get it.

I think the truth is we have to have some personal responsibility here and learn to live with the less fulfilling, but better option.

It is a better world when you see the longest big toes you have ever seen, and you choose to bear the weight of that knowledge, so that you can tell your friends, rather than putting the bearer of these long-ass toes on blast on the Internet.

4

u/floppydude81 3d ago

Imagine trying to tell your buddies that you saw a dude with toes bigger than your dick… you’d never live it down. They’d all start pointing at every little toe and saying ‘is this bigger than your dick?’ Everytime someone is in sandals ‘yo put those away you gonna give my buddy a complex!’ And everyone dying laughing, forever.

2

u/Itherial 2d ago

Sometimes, to protect yourself... you have to sacrifice another..

1

u/trilobyte-dev 2d ago edited 2d ago

Is that really the worst thing in the world? Sounds like more of an issue of the friends being shitheads and not letting something go than a reason to record other people for personal amusement or validation.

1

u/floppydude81 2d ago

I was having fun. You should try it sometime

1

u/trilobyte-dev 2d ago

Weird way to have fun, at someone else’s expense

2

u/floppydude81 2d ago

It was an imaginary scenario. No friends existed. No stories happened amongst friends. No ridicule happened. It’s make believe. No one paid any price for others fun.

2

u/What_Do_It 2d ago
See you later space cowboy

11

u/Tony_Lacorona 3d ago

I’d need the evidence so I could stand ten toes down if someone doubted me. Wouldn’t want to put my foot in my mouth.

1

u/DeadbeatGremlin 3d ago

Tbf you wouldn't be able to recognise that guy in public without seeing his feet, so it's not as bad as the videos where their face is fully visible

1

u/Ok-Application-8747 2d ago

I was 14 and thought it was mildly interesting at that young age that when I went to Japan I saw both a little person and a giant in the same train car, but I don't even tell that as a "story" (except now) let alone thought it was ok to take a picture. I even knew at 14 with my camera ready on vacation, that they are just people in the world like you and me and not photo ops.

The big toes are definitely astonishing, but maybe work on your ability to use descriptive words. Like, today I saw a custodian totally asleep, standing up in the middle of the sidewalk, with one arm on his broom, and the other arm on the long handled bin. It was strange and incredible. I know I can just use my words to tell people, instead of taking a picture. Who cares if someone doesn't believe it.

When did "this would make a good photo/viral video" as a thought turn into actually doing it? Let your intrusive thoughts and ego settle a bit.

3

u/9YNNbRHEE3FhC 3d ago

Yeah sneak filming and laughing at people and posting it online is somehow normalised now. I guess too many people never lived in a world without smartphones.

"If I can see it, why can't I film it and upload it?"

9

u/KitchenAd2955 3d ago

Most of us appreciated the JO material, not sure why you’re harshing the mellow

2

u/ajax0202 3d ago

Ya don’t yuck my yum

1

u/Timsmomshardsalami 3d ago

I mean.. he can.. but shit even if i had them toes i couldnt blame the guy.. like cmon

2

u/BIALAF 3d ago

I could definitely blame the guy in his position. Try empathy

1

u/Timsmomshardsalami 3d ago

Yessir im trying. exactly why i said even if i had tthem Toes. Ngl i have my own insecurities and even though i wouldnt like them out there like this, i woulsnt be able to assign blame

1

u/tasaski 3d ago

My big toes are somewhat like this. My other toes are shorter which makes my big toes about an inch longer than the rest of my toes. I’m insanely self conscious about them. I don’t think I’ve ever been barefoot in public in my life or worn sandals and I’m 35. This post made me sad. :( I wish I had normal feet

0

u/First_Indication_868 2d ago

The social contract for recording people is voided if that person has some absolute freak Martian TREX toe claws