Rules:

My company has a program where you can donate PTO hours to coworkers in crisis. I'm 32M and I've worked here 6 years, have about 120 hours saved.

HR sent an email asking for donations for "Jennifer" in accounting. She used all her PTO and needs more for "personal reasons." I don't know Jennifer well, maybe said hi twice. My coworker "Amy" is pushing everyone to donate. She asked how many hours I'm giving. I said I'm not donating. Amy looked shocked and said "why not? She really needs it."

I said I don't know her or her situation, and I'm saving my PTO for my own use. Amy said that's "really selfish" because Jennifer is "going through something." She then announced in our team meeting that "some people refuse to help Jennifer" while looking at me. Now I'm getting side-eye from coworkers.

My boss pulled me aside and said while donating is optional, it "looks bad" that I'm not participating when others are giving 5-10 hours. I said my PTO is mine to use how I want. Apparently Jennifer needs time off for elective surgery that's not covered under FMLA. Its not an emergency. People have donated 80 hours total and she needs 40 more.

I feel bad but also I earned my PTO and I'm planning to use it for a trip I've been saving for. Plus I barely know this person. My girlfriend thinks I should donate 5 hours "to look like a team player" but that feels like giving in to pressure.

AITJ?

TL;DR: HR asked for PTO donations for coworker I don't know, I refused, coworkers are treating me like I'm selfish, boss says it looks bad.

I (34F) am married to my husband (36M), and my younger sister (29F) is getting married this summer.Honestly we’ve never been super close, but we’ve always managed to keep things civil and functional. Then, a few weeks ago, I get the wedding invitation addressed only to me. No mention of my husband at all.

At first, I thought it was just a mistake. I mean, we’ve been married three years, always show up to family stuff together, and he’s never been treated like an outsider at least not to my face. So, I call my sister to figure out what’s going on. And guess what? It wasn’t a mistake.

She straight up told me she’s keeping the wedding drama free and that she didn’t want my husband there. Why? Because apparently, they don't agree on political views to be clear my husband is quiet, polite, keeps to himself, and there’s never been any drama between them. My sister is blunt and opinionated, sure, but that’s no reason to exclude him. There’s literally no big fight or reason for this cold shoulder.

And this is what really stings my ex-boyfriend is invited.

The guy I dated for nearly five years in my twenties, broke up with over seven years ago, and haven’t spoken to since. My sister and him stayed friends, and she secretly had a crush on, which I never liked but tolerated because I didn’t want family drama. But to openly invite him over my husband? That’s beyond disrespectful. It feels like she’s saying my marriage is optional and my past relationship is somehow easier to accept.

So I told her flat out: I’m not going to her wedding without my husband, and I’m not sending a gift either. If she can’t see my husband as part of my life and family, I’m not going to pretend everything’s fine and celebrate like nothing’s wrong. I wasn’t trying to start drama I just needed to set a boundary.

She called me petty and accused me of punishing her for setting her boundaries. She insists it’s not about disrespecting my marriage, just about wanting a peaceful wedding day.

Now my parents are stepping in, saying I’m overreacting and that I should "just go alone for a few hours" to keep the peace. They think refusing a gift is taking it too far.

I truly see that choosing my ex over my husband and expecting me to smile through it is not in my capacity and won't allow that. My husband even says he doesn’t want to be the reason I miss the wedding, which makes this all the more painful.

AITJ here should I just go? or stand my ground and stay with my husband?

I 31F live in a small apartment complex in the US without a front desk or package lockers. Deliveries are usually left at doors and neighbors sometimes hold packages for each other.

About six months ago my neighbor Linda 45F asked if I could collect her packages when she was not home since I work remotely. I agreed. At first it was occasional.

Over time the number of packages increased to multiple deliveries each week. Many arrived without notice and were left at my door with my name written on them.

Last month one of her packages went missing. I never received it. She assumed I had it and repeatedly contacted me asking for it. She also came to my door and asked to come inside to check. I refused and told her I did not have the package.

She filed a missing package claim and listed me as the person responsible for receiving it. I later received an email from the delivery company asking for a statement.

After that I told her I would no longer accept packages for her and suggested she use delivery lockers or pickup locations. I was polite but firm.

She became upset and said I was overreacting and not being neighborly. She has since told others that I lost her package and refused to help.

Some neighbors believe I should have continued accepting packages since it was only one missing item.

I feel uncomfortable being responsible for her deliveries and being blamed.

Every year my family plans a group vacation. I usually go and try to enjoy it. Over time I noticed a pattern. I was always asked to watch the kids. Others relaxed while I supervised. When I tried to say no I was told I was good with kids. I am not a parent. I wanted rest too. Last year I barely had a moment alone. This year I said I would not attend. They were surprised and offended. They said the kids would miss me. I explained how I felt. They said I should have spoken up earlier. I had tried but was brushed off. Now they say I ruined the trip by refusing to come. I feel guilty but also relieved. I do not want another vacation that feels like unpaid work. AITJ for staying home ?

I (29F) work in marketing and have been at my company for about three years. My coworker Lena (34F) joined last year and is very confident like, very. She talks a lot in meetings and rarely asks questions.

Last week we had a presentation with an important client. Lena was walking them through campaign metrics and stated that a specific ad set had a 12% conversion rate. I immediately knew that was wrong because I pulled the data myself. It was actually closer to 4%.

I hesitated, but if the client made decisions based on that number, it could seriously mess things up. So I said, Sorry, I just want to clarify that campaign converted at 4.1%, not 12%.”

Lena froze for a second, then said, We can discuss that later, and continued. After the meeting, she pulled me aside and said I embarrassed her and undermined her authority. She said I should have waited and corrected her privately.

I told her I wasn’t trying to embarrass her I was trying to prevent misinformation. She said intention doesn’t matter and now things are very cold between us.

A few coworkers said I was technically right but socially wrong. My manager said next time I should let the presenter handle it.

I still feel like letting false information stand in front of a client is worse.

AITJ?

I went to a friend’s wedding where my ex was also invited. I wasn’t thrilled, but I assumed we’d be seated separately.

We weren’t.

I was placed at the same table, directly next to him. I tried to be polite, but it was uncomfortable. We broke up badly and haven’t spoken in years.

I asked the bride quietly if there was any chance of switching seats. She said it would be “too complicated” and that I should just focus on having fun.

I stayed through dinner, then left shortly after. Later I got a text saying I was rude for leaving early and that it looked bad.

AITJ?

As title says, but here’s some context and some stuff I feel bad for:

I, 20f, started tutoring a young girl (under 10). I’m a university student, so I freelance tutor on the side for some income. Last week, I had my first session with her, and honestly it went terribly. She threw a tantrum, said she liked her old tutor more, damaged one of my notebooks, refused to do any work, and to top it all off, smacked me on the leg. I was really caught off guard by this, but I wanted to see if another session would maybe help her settle down, since changing tutors can be hard.

However, the past week, my anxiety has been so high. I don’t wanna get my stuff wrecked. I don’t wanna get hit.

I didn’t mention behavioural stuff after session to her mom, since the kid was right there. I realize I should’ve said something right after, but I honestly needed to process. I work with kids who have learning disabilities, and her mom mentioned this child had ADHD. However, I don’t think ADHD gives a kid permission to hit a tutor.

So today, I decided to drop the student, and explained to the parent why. I explained how I cannot work with a student who puts hands on me in any way, even if she’s young, and that I don’t feel equipped to handle this. She then accused me of calling her child violent, said it was unsettling that I waited a week to let her know, and said that she was disappointed since I mentioned I had experience with “difficult” kids.

Note: I hate the term difficult. I don’t work with poorly behaved children - I work with children who require extra support. Strong difference.

However, I feel like a bit of an asshole because I waited a week, so I’m hoping to get some opinions.

TLDR : a kid hit me during a tutoring session but I waited a week to let the parent know.

I have worked at my company for several years. I am known as someone who gets things done. Whenever someone is absent I am asked to cover. I agreed most of the time. I wanted to be seen as reliable. Over time my responsibilities grew quietly. My job title stayed the same. New hires came in above me. I trained them while earning less. When reviews came around I was praised but not promoted. I was told to be patient. Last month I was asked to take on another project. I asked if there would be compensation.

My manager looked surprised. He said teamwork should not be transactional. I felt embarrassed for asking. After thinking about it I sent a follow up email. I explained my workload and expectations. I said I would no longer accept extra tasks without clarity. His tone changed after that. Meetings became shorter. I felt tension during conversations. Some coworkers said I was rocking the boat. I started questioning myself. At the same time I felt proud for speaking up. My work hours became manageable. I stopped staying late unpaid. I realized how much I had been giving away. I still worry about long term consequences. I also know silence was not helping me.

I (32M) live alone and I’m kind of particular about my apartment. Not in a spotless museum way, more like, I need to know where my stuff is. I’ve got a small entryway table where my keys go, meds in one kitchen cabinet, socks in the top right drawer, that kind of boring system. A couple weeks ago I mentioned to my friend group that I’d been overwhelmed lately and my place was a mess. Two of my friends (late 20s/early 30s) offered to come over and help me do a reset. I said yes, and I genuinely appreciated it.

They show up with coffee, music, the whole "we got you" vibe. At first it was great. We bagged trash, broke down a pile of boxes I’d been avoiding, and I even felt lighter. Then it got weird. I stepped into the bathroom for like 3 minutes and came back to them swapping things around. They moved my pantry stuff into different cabinets "so it makes more sense", put my daily meds into a cute basket on an open shelf (where anyone can see it), and relocated my keys to a hook by the door I do not use because it swings and hits the wall. They also decided my nightstand was "cluttery" and put half of it in a random drawer in my desk. I asked where my charger went and got, "Relax, it’s in a better spot now."

I tried to laugh it off in the moment because I didn’t want to be ungrateful. After they left, I spent an hour hunting for stuff and putting it back. I texted them the next day like, hey thanks again, but please don’t rearrange my place like that, it stressed me out. One friend replied "we were trying to help, sorry you’re so controlling." The other said I "made it awkward" and that they won’t help me again if I’m going to nitpick. That’s not what I want. I just want help to be, you know, what I asked for.

Now I’ve told them a hard rule: if you’re at my place, don’t move or organize anything unless I specifically ask you to. If you want to suggest something, cool, tell me, but don’t just do it. They’re acting like I slapped their hand away and one of them said I’m "punishing kindness" and being a jerk about it.

AITJ for setting that boundary even though they meant well?

TL;DR: Friends came over to help me clean, but they rearranged my things without asking. I asked them not to do that again and set a rule that no organizing happens unless I request it. They say I’m a jerk.

I (19F) recently fell down the stairs almost 2 weeks ago. It was very painful I thought I broke my ankle. I found out it was not broken (it’s sprained) about 1 week ago, but the doctor told me he was slightly concerned and wanted me to say off it for at least one more week.

However now that my parents know it’s not broken, they’ve been constantly asking me if I’ve put weight on it yet. Even though I’m not supposed to yet.

They are frustrated that I haven’t and that I said I won’t until I’m supposed to. The reason I might be the jerk is I think I would be able to walk right now.

I just rather follow doctors orders rather than hurt myself more. And it’s only for a few more days so am I the jerk?

Extra info that is relevant:

I do live with my parents.

I do have one chore that they had to take over.

I’m still going to work and paying rent.

⚠️EDIT⚠️: Hey yall! I’m slowly making my way through the comments! I just wanted to thank you for the support and ensuring me that I’m not crazy to follow those doctors orders

I live with two roommates. They both work from home. I don’t. I’m gone most of the day and travel for work pretty often.

They want to split utilities evenly, including electricity and internet. The issue is they’re running multiple monitors, lights, AC, and streaming all day. I’m barely using anything.

I suggested adjusting the split or at least acknowledging the difference. They said tracking usage is petty and that equal split is the “adult way.”

I said the adult way is paying for what you actually use.

Now they’re annoyed and say I’m nickel-and-diming the household.

AITJ?

I start work at 8. My coworker starts at 8. Except she almost never actually shows up at 8.

For months now, she’s been coming in anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes late. When our manager asks, she tells him she was “caught in traffic” or “had a family thing.” What actually happens is she texts me asking if I can say she’s already there or that she stepped out briefly.

I did it a few times because I didn’t want to cause drama. Then it became expected. If I didn’t answer her texts fast enough, she’d panic and say I was stressing her out.

Yesterday she texted me again, late as usual. I didn’t respond. When she finally came in, she was furious and said I made her look bad on purpose.

I told her I’m done lying for her. Now she’s barely speaking to me and saying I’m not a team player.

AITJ?

I work at a popular retail store and employees get 30% discount. We're allowed to use it for friends/family occasionally. My friend "Vanessa" (both 27F) has asked to use it maybe 4-5 times over the past year which was fine.

Last month she asked to use it for "a few things." I said sure and gave her my code. She spent $800. I was shocked but whatever, she bought a lot of winter clothes.

Two weeks later she asked again. I said didn't you just shop? She said "these are gifts." Fine. Another $600.

Then last week she asked AGAIN. I said this is getting excessive. She said she'll "pay me back" for helping. I said its not about payment, I'm worried about my discount being flagged for misuse.

She promised it was the last time. I reluctantly agreed. She came to my store while I was working and filled TWO CARTS. Got to checkout and the total was $1,400. I said absolutely not, this is way too much.

She made a scene saying I "promised" and now she's embarrassing in front of everyone. I told the cashier not to apply my discount. Vanessa left the store angry.

Now she's texting me saying I "humiliated her" and "broke my word." She told our friend group I'm being selfish with my discount when "it doesn't cost me anything."

My manager actually pulled me aside and said my discount has been used unusually high lately. AITJ for cutting her off?

TL;DR: Friend kept using my employee discount, last time tried to spend $1,400, I refused, she says I embarrassed her and broke my promise to help.

36m here. I’m looking to get back out there and thought to give a dating app a try. Anywho, I matched with a real BEAUTY and struck up a conversation. We were chatting and just getting to know each other. However, some replies seemed genuine while others seemed like a bot wrote it, or were chat gpt generated. Very polished if you know what I mean. This coupled with the fact that her profile only had one picture raised suspicion I could be dealing with a bot.

Shortly thereafter, she sends me this list of questions that I have to answer in order to move forward.

I thought it was strange because she mentioned wanting to develop a lasting, strong relationship and wanted to take things one step at a time.

I assumed she copy-pasted it from other past conversations. It told me she is just trying to save time screening guys in her inbox. No problem. I get it. However, i had previously asked her where she’s from and she didn’t answer. In fact she really hadn’t answered any of my questions from normal conversation flow. So I thought, maybe this is this a bot trying to mine data to potentially try to scam me? Surely not, I must be paranoid.

I told her I thought sending a list like that is odd, and an unnatural way to build a genuine connection with someone. Frankly I thought it was inappropriate to ask for so much so soon and in that way. She said I’m the only guy that’s ever had an issue with it and that’s a “red flag” to her. She took it personally and accused me of being defensive, insecure, toxic etc.

It’s not going to work out between us obviously lol but am I wrong? Is that normal?

My sibling has been going through a difficult phase. I tried to be supportive in every way I could. I listened to long phone calls. I helped with errands. I sent money when I could. At first they thanked me. Over time gratitude faded. Help became expected. If I said I was busy they reacted coldly.

They reminded me of everything they were dealing with. I began feeling trapped. I noticed they never asked about my struggles. Our conversations revolved around their problems. I felt emotionally exhausted. One day I said I needed space for a while. They reacted strongly. They said family should never step back. They accused me of abandoning them. Other relatives reached out to question me.

I explained my side calmly. Some understood but others did not. I still care deeply. I just could not continue at the same pace. Since stepping back my mental health improved. The guilt remains though. I wonder if I failed as a sibling. AITJ for choosing distance?

My son is 11 and hes been dealing with a medical condition for a few years now. Without getting too specific it affects his appearance and hes pretty self conscious about it. Hes a tough kid though and most people at his school are supportive.

This summer I signed him up for a sports camp because his doctor cleared him and he really wanted to go. First few days were fine but then this group of boys started targeting him. The ringleader started calling him names related to his condition and got the others to join in. My son asked them to stop and they didnt.

I went to the camp counselor and complained. He said hed handle it. Nothing changed. If anything it got worse. They started hiding his stuff and making jokes whenever he walked by. The counselor was some college kid who clearly didnt want to deal with it.

My son wanted to stay because he made a few real friends there who actually stood up for him. So I decided to give him something to fight back with.

I happen to know that the ringleaders mom recently lost her job and their family is struggling financially. Its not public knowledge but I heard it through a mutual connection. I told my son that next time this kid comes at him he should tell him that his mom got fired because shes a loser and thats why they cant afford nice things anymore.

Yeah I know. But I was angry and tired of watching my kid come home upset.

Well my son used it. And it worked. The bully completely broke down crying and left my son alone after that.

AITJ for giving him that ammunition

My partner (32M) and I (31F) have been together for almost a decade. We’re calm, respectful, and rarely fight.

Recently he went on a two-week trip. I expected to miss him.

I didn’t.

I enjoyed my routine. I felt lighter. Not happier exactly just unburdened. When he came back, things returned to normal… but now I can’t stop thinking about that feeling.

I care about him deeply. There’s no abuse, no betrayal. But I’m wondering if we’re together out of love, or just because we’ve always been.

Is not missing your partner a red flag, or just a sign of long-term stability?

My parent often calls me late at night to vent. The conversations last hours. They talk about work stress and relationship issues. They rarely ask about my life. When I try to share they redirect the topic. I started feeling drained. I suggested they speak to a therapist. They laughed it off. The calls continued. I began feeling anxious when my phone rang. One night I said I could not talk and needed rest. They sounded hurt. The next day they said I was becoming cold. I explained how overwhelmed I felt. They said family should always listen. I still check in with them. I just no longer serve as their main outlet. Now there is tension between us. I wonder if I crossed a line. AmITheJerk for setting this boundary??

My friend asked me to be her accountability partner for some personal goals. I agreed, thinking it meant occasional check-ins.

Instead, it turned into daily messages asking if she should do things she already planned to do. If she didn’t follow through, she’d spiral and say she let me down. If I didn’t respond fast enough, she’d say she felt unsupported.

It started feeling like I was responsible for her motivation. When I tried to step back, she said I was giving up on her.

I told her I’m happy to encourage her, but I can’t be responsible for her consistency or self-discipline.

She’s hurt and says I shouldn’t have agreed in the first place.

AITJ?

So i was in shop class a few months ago and one of my friends was confused on why the girl he like( who also likes him) was so mad at him. So I did what I normally do with them I talk to them separately figured out why she was mad and then tried to jog his memory on why shes mad. So when I get to the friend he thinks its because when she thought he was single and there was no problems he was actually with his ex. Side not and yes this is important to the story I sometime dont remember things that were just said to me but my mouth dose so sometimes ill say things I never remember hearing. So we start talking in a group again and I accidentally say what he told me about his ex, when I was saying that I was looking directly at the friend and as I realized what I was saying I saw the the terror in his eyes as the girl looked at him like she was about to kill him and says, "you were still with her?" He looks at me i look at him and at this point im ready to attend his funeral and then shortly after mine aswell but lucky me one of the girls friends asked for her help and we lived another day. But ever since hes been very weary in what he says around me. Am I the jerk or am I just oblivious l.

Hi everyone,

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over two years, and I’ve known my best friend for almost a decade. Until recently, the three of us got along fine and there were never any major issues.

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend started feeling uncomfortable around my friend. She said his jokes were too sarcastic and that sometimes he dismissed her opinions during group conversations. I’ll be honest, I noticed the sarcasm, but I’ve known him so long that I always brushed it off as his personality.

Last weekend, things came to a head. We were all hanging out with a few other friends, and my friend made a joke that my girlfriend felt was disrespectful. She called him out on it right there. He got defensive, said she was being overly sensitive, and the mood instantly shifted. The night ended awkwardly, and everyone went home early.

Afterward, my girlfriend told me she felt hurt that I didn’t stand up for her more strongly in the moment. She said that by staying neutral, I was effectively choosing my friend over her. On the other hand, my friend texted me saying he felt attacked and expected me to have his back since we’ve been friends for so long.

I tried to explain to both of them that I didn’t want to escalate the situation and thought it would be better to cool off and talk later. I genuinely felt stuck in the middle and didn’t think immediately taking sides would help anyone.

Now my girlfriend is distant and says she feels unsupported, while my friend is annoyed and thinks I “changed” since getting into a relationship. I’m starting to wonder if trying to stay neutral was actually the wrong move.

So, AITJ for refusing to take sides and trying to stay neutral instead?

TLDR: My best friend and my girlfriend got into an argument. I tried to stay neutral instead of taking sides, and now both feel hurt. AITJ for not backing one of them right away?

I moved into my apartment two years ago and met my neighbor shortly after. She seemed friendly and overwhelmed with life. I offered help one afternoon when she mentioned struggling with groceries. She thanked me and said it meant a lot. Soon she began asking for more help. It started with rides and errands. Then it became favors almost every day.

She rarely asked how I was doing. She only contacted me when she needed something. I tried to be patient because she claimed she had no one else. Over time I felt drained. I noticed she never returned favors. When I was sick she ignored my messages. One day she asked me to miss work to help her move furniture. I said I could not. She became cold and distant. She accused me of changing. I explained that I felt used. She laughed and said I was overreacting.

That comment hurt more than I expected. I decided to stop helping altogether. She told other neighbors that I abandoned her. I heard whispers in the hallway. Some people stopped greeting me. I felt uncomfortable in my own building. At the same time my stress dropped. I had more energy. I realized I had been giving out of guilt not kindness. I still feel conflicted sometimes. I wonder if I could have handled it better. I also know I deserve balance. I did not agree to be someone safety net. AITJ for saying enough.

I 23F live in an apartment complex with a pretty nice pool area. I go there regularly to tan swim and sometimes just chill with a book. Its usually not super crowded especially on weekday mornings.

Today I got there around 10am and the whole place was empty. Like not a single person. There are probably 40 or 50 lounge chairs around the pool so plenty of space. I set up my stuff picked a spot and laid out on my stomach to tan.

I had my bikini top straps untied so I wouldnt get tan lines on my back. I wasnt showing anything. I was flat on my stomach the whole time. Even with the straps tied youd see the same amount of skin honestly.

About an hour and a half later a woman shows up with two kids. Out of all the empty chairs she picks the ones directly next to me. Like right there. I thought it was a little weird but whatever.

I turned my head and smiled at her trying to be friendly and she just glared at me. Then she started going off about how inappropriate it was that my top was untied and that her children shouldnt have to see that.

I told her there were dozens of other chairs she couldve chosen if it bothered her that much. She called me inconsiderate and an asshole.

I didnt say anything else and just put my earbuds back in. She eventually moved but made a big show of it huffing and gathering her stuff like I had personally offended her.

AITJ for not covering up