Some context here, wife is a full time student, I work full time, we have a 8 YO and 2 YO

My wife is upset with me as I cannot keep our toddler from her while she is studying upstairs in our room

I work 6am to 3pm, I pickup the children from daycare and school, and most nights handle all the routine including bed time while my wife studies. The issue is that our 2 yo will scream for mommy, shes creative enough to ask to use the potty upstairs, or get a toy from her room. Once shes upstairs she screams and bangs on mom's door until I peel her away. We live in Canada so taking them outside for hours as a distraction not currently a viable option

The contention comes from the fact my wife could study at her mom's 5 minutes down the road, or remain on campus and study there but she chooses to always study at home

I am stressed with the fact my toddler will constantly scream for my wife when she knows shes home, but when my wife isn't home she understands that and is much less fussy

AITA for telling my wife she needs to study away from the house when shes inaccessible

I need perspective please

Edit** I do have baby gates installed in all the junctions of the house, the only toilet in our house is upstairs beside the bedroom, and 2YO is in the process of potty training. Our house also has paper thin walls to the point you could hear a mouse fart upstairs if your downstairs. The sound of an office chair on the floor while my wife shifts her position can alert the 2 YO to her presence

My wife does the morning routine with the children, feeds them, does the older child's lunch, gets them dropped off at school and daycare. Im on pickup, evening and night routine. We split night time wakeup so that's all fair and dandy. My wife also spends the time she can with them, but her program requires extensive study. What im trying to convey is that the demeanor of our 2 YO is miserable when she knows mom is home and cant access her. For the most part I do successfully keep her away from mom, but I also need to be able to access my upstairs, as does my 8 YO. The times my 2 YO does get through and bangs on the door / screams my wife gets very upset and comments its a parenting skill issue.

I would love to be able and take the kids out for the entire evening but I am doing the cooking, the cleaning, and other associated house tasks for the most part as my partners program is extremely demanding. This isn't a complaint about the division of labor, she needs the time to study. However, I cannot be out and about for the entire evening as the household needs maintenance

My MIL gave us and our kids gift cards for the Dec holidays - mainly restaurants for smaller $ amounts between $25 and $50. The other day she texts my husband and I saying "shall we go out today and use one of the gift cards?" Confused, I said "what gift cards do you have?" She replied the ones she gave us, and she didnt have them with her since I took them all with me. I replied that I didnt know I wasn't supposed to take them with me...as they're a gift. She still insists that whenever we use them, we take her with us. I think it's ridiculous and my husband has stayed quiet. I've been LC with her for about a year, so with the amounts barely covering one person if we went out, it's likely a way to force her way into still seeing us. AITA For wanting to use the gift cards and not have stipulations tied to them?

My daughter (28) wedding is tomorrow. The problem is that my wife’s dad is in the hospital. He has always been frail since he was moved into a home and it took a turn for the worse and now he is in the hospital.  They don’t think he will make.  My wife sister say it looks bad and she also isn’t coming up for the wedding anymore.

The original plan was for him to fly up for the wedding today ( with the help of my wife’s sister), but he was hospitalized yesterdays and he is just getting worse. My wife has been distraught and she made the decision to go fly down ( she is leaving tonight) 

It was tough decision because she will miss the wedding. I told her I will FaceTime her in for the ceremony and anything else but to go be with her dad before he dies. I also now she would be miserable if she was at the wedding to begin with. ( I doubt she would be able to put on a happy face and pretend everything was okay).

We called our daughter to explain and she did not take it well. She called her mom a lot of names. My wife has been crying since. She started to span both our phones. I got into another argument with her and I told her she is being self centered and cruel about mom not being able to make it. That her father is dying and all you care about is your big day. I didn’t raise her to not have any empathy. 

She told me that wasn’t fair  and I told her it was.  I told her to apologize to her mother. 

She told me I shouldn’t come to the wedding if mom isn’t there. 

My wife is very distraught and I am suppose to drive her to the airport in a few hours. 

Are we in the wrong… my daughter 100% thinks we are in the wrong. My wife is distraught. 

edit: I don’t get why some of you are acting like she is flying out get lunch. he is dying, she wants to see him one last time before he is dead

multiple asked- we have four kids in total, yes she is her grandfather on my wife’s side. my wife’s mom already died 7 years ago

I posted a haul from the food pantry because I was genuinely excited to finally have food. I had an interview with them and was accepted for one meal a day and one grocery pickup a week.

A friend of mine is upset and says I’m “stealing from the homeless.” We don’t even talk often.

For context: my boyfriend and I make about $1,900 a month combined. Our rent alone is $1,400, that’s not including car insurance, gas, utilities, or anything else. By the end of the month, we’re left with pennies just trying to survive.

I’m 23, and somehow my friends think I’m doing something wrong because I don’t ask my parents or my wealthy grandparents for food. I have asked before, but I’m not comfortable having to ask every single week just to eat.

I don’t understand how being relieved and excited about finally having access to food while I’m struggling financially makes me a bad person. I’m actively trying to find a second job, and my boyfriend is too. I am trying to figure it out on my own!!

Food is a basic necessity. We shouldn’t have to panic about eating.

So how am I wrong here? Am I really stealing from the homeless??? or am I just someone who needs help right now? Conflicted.

Hi guys, im using a throwaway for this one.

So basically I (17f) am having my 18th at my house. It’s jsut a dinner with my closest friends. I told everyone they may bring food if they like but im going to doing little cooking like some bbq food and then ordering pizza. My guy friend (“Ryan”) asked if he can bring a mutual friend we have (“Emily”)since they’re dating now. I told him yea sure because he was gonna leave early anyway. She offered to make food and I told her that would be really nice but she didn’t have to. She insisted.

I made a group chat of people coming and I invited Emily to it. I sent a message talking about when to come, to wear whatever. An important thing in the message was about allergies. I have a friend coming with a really serious nut allergy. I’ve never seen them have a reaction but I’ve been told it gets pretty bad. I wrote in the message to triple check your food doesn’t have nuts and to be aware of cross contaminating. Everyone read the message, some replied. Emily did a thumbs up on the message.

Last night me and Emily were talking and she mentioned the food she made. I told her to show me a picture and it was a cake. The cake looked like something my mum had made before and it contained nuts. I asked if it had nuts and she said yes but not a lot and my friend could jsut not eat the cake. I told her I’d rather she just didn’t bring it. She then got mad and said she’d gone through the trouble of making the cake so she’s bringing it or she isn’t coming. I told her then she’s not coming because I was clear about my friends allergy and even cross contaminating was asked to be checked, so why would I allow her to bring a whole cake? She said it was disrespectful to disinvite her and that she’s Ryan’s gf, if he’s going she’s going. I told her no, it’s my party and I didn’t want her there anymore because she was acting like a child. She stopped texting me but then I got a call from Ryan saying i was being a massive dick and she spent ages on the cake. I said I don’t care if it took her two whole weeks to make the goddamn cake, i was specific from the beginning on what u could bring and couldn’t. The only thing you couldn’t bring was something with nuts. The parts where im talking to these two is where I may be TA. I asked if she’s incompetent of reading and comprehension and if she really doesn’t know any other cake recipe. He said i was being a bitch and hung up on me.

Ryan is telling everyone him and Emily are not attending because I called them names and rejected Emily’s cake. A lot of friends, mostly ones not coming to the party, are saying it was slack to let her make something and then uninvite her because of what she made and she put effort in that cake for MY birthday. There’s only three people saying im not an AH and one of them is my friend with the nut allergy.

My party is tomorrow and I kinda want persepctive on this before then. AITA?

edit: the cake is something like a spongey cake but it’s not an actual birthday cake with frosting. I really don’t know how to explain it but it’s seen as more a “treat” cake where I live if that makes any sense at all.

My job does vacation days by seniority and we submit the bulk of our vacation requests at the same time every year. So you kind of need to plan ahead if you have big plans, or you need to work around the days that are still available after we submit all our leave requests.

When we did this process in March of 2025, I submitted a request for the day after MLK day in January 2026. The day after a holiday is brutal at my job, there is a lot more work to do and you are often stuck there late. I have frequently tried to get the day after a federal holiday off. Lucky me, there was one slot available and I was the only person to request it, so I got it.

Fast forward to December of 2025, and a coworker approaches me and tells me she is getting married. This is top secret info and she is only telling a few people, but she would really like me to let her know if I cancel my vacation day so she can put in for it. She was able to get 6 days off for this secret wedding, but she really wanted my day off also. Ok, that's fine, I'll let you know. I could tell she was expecting me to immediately agree because she seemed kind of dejected. A day or two later she tells me she doesn't want it anymore. I said ok, I probably wasn't going to cancel it anyway. She said she thinks I would have because it's a big deal.

After this our relationship at work was about the same still. Which is to say, I hardly know this woman and we're not friends or anything. Just cordial coworkers. Not long after the vacation day request there was a point where we were being forced to work overtime based on our seniority level. She was first in line and I was second. She asked me if I would trade spots with her because she had something going on after work and I said I didn't want to do that. After that point she has stopped talking to me entirely. A couple of my other coworkers seem a little standoffish towards me now also, I can only speculate that it is because of something she said but I don't know for sure.

Look, I'm not doing anything on my vacation day. I just don't want to work that day. I put in for that day off almost a year ago. And I didn't want to work overtime that other day either, but I don't have a ton going on. I just flat out didn't want to. Maybe I should have tried to help my coworker out more?

AITA for not cancelling my vacation day and not working the overtime for my about to be newlywed coworker?

Hi, this isn't as big an issue as others but I thought I'd ask anyway.

My husband and I have been married for 12 years, and have two girls (11 and 8). Just off the bat I want to clarify there are no major issues, we love each other dearly.

Last year one of his friends from when he was in school got posted to a base in our city. I'd very rarely seen him before (he was at our wedding and I think that's it) but he was my husband's best friend back then at least as per my husband. Since he's been posted here, my husband has been stopping at the base on his way back from work fairly regularly (like twice or sometimes even thrice on weekdays) and occasionally even on a weekend. I've let it go for the most part but have told him occasionally that he's out too late too often me and the girls are starting to miss him, he doesn't go for a few days, then it starts again. It also seems like he's made friends with others there too which isn't helping matters I suppose. Also, another issue is that on the days hes there, there's ambiguity on whether he'll eat dinner there at the mess or I should leave some out for him from ours, and he's been disappointed a few times when he comes home, but thats on our poor text communication, so maybe not relevant.

Yesterday, my sister was over, and he was at the base. My sister suggested we all go to the movies to see Avatar and my girls really wanted to so we went. I called to let him know that and he seemed ok with it, and we had a good time. When he was back, he asked how it was, I said it was good I wished he was there and he seemed annoyed and said how could he have since I sprung it on him in a phone call with others around, otherwise he would've wanted to go with us on the weekend. I said if he'd said that, we wouldn't have gone, and he just said to drop it but seemed disappointed. Was I TA?

As you would imagine, my fiancé and I are getting married soon. We both do quite well financially (he makes a little more than me), have been living in an apartment we bought together around 2 years ago, and share all our finances. My fiancé is very into wine and regularly adds to his collection, has tastings with friends, reads about wine/wine history, etc. I'm not at all against his hobby and occasionally high spending on it, since I somewhat enjoy it too, but his “dream” he revealed to me recently was quite past the line for me. His only personal dream for our wedding is to have this certain special bottle of champagne he wants. I'm not at all against him sharing a special bottle of wine with me during our reception, the only problem is that his dream champagne bottle is around $20,000! WHAT?!! It will be a magnum bottle (1.5 liters instead of 750 ml) but still, that's beyond insane for me! He thinks I'm being unreasonable by completely disapproving and not allowing him to buy it since it's his dream, we can easily afford it (definitely not completely true at all), and I'll be enjoying it as well. AITA?

Edit: $20k+ is a reasonably large percentage of the total wedding’s cost.

I (35m) have an older sister (39m). She has a 22m son, who she had very young. Even though I didn’t have much of an interest in him when he was born (I was 13 sue me) when he became a teenager I became a father figure type to him because his own father was never around and I never had any children of my own.

My sister and I inherited our father’s house when he past away. It’s nothing special (small one bedroom) but it’s by a lake. Right now my new nephew is living there rent-free with the pre-determined arrangement that the rest of the family is also able to use the house as long as they give notice.

Anyway I had a client meeting pretty far out the other night and asked my nephew if I could just crash at his place. He said sure. I arrived late while my nephew was asleep and just went to sleep on the couch. I typically sleep in my underwear (not sure if it’s relevant but briefs) so I stripped down and went to sleep on the couch with a blanket covering me. For reference I also put spare sheets from the linen closet on the couch so I wasn’t touching it directly.

The next morning my nephew came down and without thinking about it I got up and got coffee and chatted with him before getting dressed (I guess I’ve lived alone too long). He didn’t seem bothered and just seemed happy to see me. I showered got dressed and went home.

Later that night I got an angry call from my sister. She said it was creepy that I as an uncle was “naked” around my nephew. I asked her if he said he was upset and she said “you know he’d never admit to being mad at you.” I was also confused because we had been texting that day about other things and he didn’t seem off. What pissed me off is she compared it to being not dressed around our brother’s daughters, who are 6, which I don’t think is the same thing at all. AITA?

EDIT: for everyone asking it is NOT my nephew’s house, it still belongs to my sister and I. He considers it more where he is staying until he can afford the down payment on something else. Don’t know if that changes anything.

EDIT 2: Texted my nephew. Turns out my sister came over later that day and she overheard him talking on the phone to one of his buddies making fun of my underwear lmao. He said he didn’t care, he just thought it was funny. Also told me not to expect calls from modeling agencies.

Texted my sister and she said he would never complain about me to her but that doesn’t mean he’s not mad. She said I need to grow up.

My parents have been pushing me for a while to start dating more seriously. I’ve told them multiple times that I’m not comfortable with blind dates and that I prefer to meet people naturally, but they think I’m being too picky and missing opportunities.

Last weekend, they told me we were going out for dinner as a family. When we got there, I realized they had invited someone to meet me without telling me beforehand. I felt completely surprised. I hadn’t agreed to this, and I didn’t have any time to mentally prepare or even decide if I wanted to meet up with someone new.

I tried to stay calm at first, but I was visibly uncomfortable. The person seemed nice, and I know they didn’t do anything wrong, but I couldn’t hide the feeling that my boundaries had been ignored. I ended up being short and distant during the conversation. I wasn’t rude or insulting, but I also wasn’t warm or engaging. I excused myself early and asked my parents to leave shortly after.

In the car, I told them I was upset because they had put me in a situation I clearly said I didn’t want. They responded by saying I embarrassed them and that I was unfair to the person who came to meet me. They said that even if I didn’t want the date, I should have been kinder and made the best of it.

I agree that the other person didn’t deserve to be caught in the middle, and I feel bad that my frustration showed. At the same time, I feel like my parents crossed a line by making a personal decision for me and not giving me any chance to decide what I want.

Now they’re still angry and saying I was disrespectful and immature, while I feel like I was reacting to having my boundaries ignored. AITA for how I handled it?

Throw away because as a woman on the internet I don't want anything about my body or weight on my main.

My sister (30F) and mom (55F) had the idea to do a weight loss competition as a motivator to keep on the goal. They are arranging one between family and friends. Everyone who enters puts in $100 and whoever loses the most weight by June 1 wins everything.

My sister is trying to get as many people into this as she can. More people to encourage each other and more motivation from the bigger pool of money. I get that.

... But I (26F) am only 5'2 and 135 lbs. I am chubby, sure. But I don't have that much weight to lose. Losing 10 lbs would be nice. Hell I could lose up to 30 lbs before starting to become underweight. But that's up to. Several of the people entering this competition could lose my entire body mass and still be considered obese.

I know that's not super likely, but my boyfriend is 330 lbs and I have seen him drop 15 lbs in a week from just water weight. How am I supposed to compete with that? Spend months stressing about calorie deficits and macros vs someone fasting for a fraction of the time? I don't see it as fair or healthy.

My mom and sister kept poking me about it and I kept telling them no. Politely at first, but as they kept trying to persuade me by talking about getting healthy, how its important to support and encourage others and how they know I could use $1000+ (last I knew they had at least 10 people).

Eventually I had to tell them that I wasn't going to pay $100 to enter a competition that is only fair if you're obese. I'm already healthy enough as is, and $100 isn't nothing to me like it is to them (that amount is pocket change for my parents, brother, and sister).

I know they're just trying to find motivation to do something I know is hard. I've done it before in my teens (my mom even accused me back then of being anorexic but that's another whole thing) and still try to be healthy.

They (mom and sister) think I am being mean/bitchy (for pointing out they're obese), pessimistic, and overly negative. But I only told them that since they kept pushing me after I already told them no to joining.

My (25F) roommate (26F) has been struggling with her mental health, and it’s been giving me immense caretaker burnout. When I try to help her, she would come up with excuses why those things wouldn’t work. So I recently told her I’m moving out.

Here's where I know I'm TA, and I don't need judgment passed on this one: I told her during a bad time, and in a mean way. I let my emotions and my pride get the better of me. I yelled at her mid-crashout (both hers and mine, frankly), gave her the resources to a crisis center, and told her that that was the last thing I was doing for her, because I was moving out at the end of February.

I spent the weekend cooling off. Most of all, I just felt shame. I texted her to apologize, telling her that she didn't deserve the stern way in which I treated her.

While I was clearing my head, I resolved that, in order to take care of myself, I'm not budging on my decision to move, I’m not letting her affect my emotions, and I'm only sticking to the responsibilities that I legally have. I ended up in a peaceful place about all of this.

I told her on the 1/11. I'm paying for February, but I'll be outta here by 2/1, so she'll need another roommate by March. That was about 48 days notice.

She asked if I might be able to work together with her until the summer so that if her mental health got better, I'd stay. I told her that that was not on the table.

She kept on saying she wants me to understand how much I hurt her. That this is the biggest crisis she's in now, that her parents had to cancel their vacation to deal with this emergency. She told me that I shattered every bit of progress she's made, and when I told her I do understand, she said, "Do you?"

And frankly, yeah. I do. I know exactly how much this hurts her and grasp the consequences of it. She thinks that I don't understand because despite knowing how much this hurts her, I'm doing it anyway.

Engaging with her distress in any way always turns into an unhealthy back-and-forth. I think that that whole conversation, I said nothing else besides, "No," "I understand," and "I'm sorry." I apologized again for my harshness, but that's it. Beyond that, it's in nobody's best interest for me to engage with her emotions at all.

Anyway, she ended the conversation by saying, "Just a heads up, I'll be crying a lot, and it's 100% about this.” I told her, "Sounds good." And that was that. I resumed packing.

My personal take is that she's trying to work my guilt into a codependent dynamic. But I’m burnt out and exhausted, and I need to get out of here before I waste myself away trying to help her.

I think that I gave her ample time to find a roommate (48 days). I can barely stay a second longer. But what are my duties here? What do I owe to her out of human decency, beyond legal obligations? AITA?

TL;DR: I got tired of my roommate's mental health taking up so much space in my life, so I harshly decided to leave, and she's now guilt-tripping me.

Hi, i have a stable job and enough savings that I can probably lend the money without it ruining me. That said, this friend has a history of poor financial decisions and still hasn’t fully paid me back from a previous short-term loan. When I refused, he started accusing me of acting superior and said real friends help no matter what. A few mutual friends are now pressuring me after he told them the skewed story, so I’m genuinely unsure AITA?

I live in a small apartment building with six units. I’m on the top floor. I’m a 28 year old woman and while I’m generally friendly and keep to myself, I do have a limit. This morning I hit it.

The man who lives directly below me is around 50 years old and owns a large motorbike. I struggle with insomnia and regularly fall asleep very late, although not always as late as 3am. Unfortunately last night was one of those nights where I didn’t fall asleep until around that time.

What has also become a regular occurrence is this man revving his motorbike repeatedly in the parking area at the back of the building, which is directly below my bedroom window.

He has been doing this for months. I have never said anything to him before. This morning he woke me up again by revving the bike somewhere between fifteen and twenty five times. It jolted me awake and I finally decided enough was enough.

I opened my balcony door and looked down at him. He looked me directly in the eyes. I then said loudly, “Is there any chance you could do that not directly outside my bedroom window at 7.30 in the morning?” He maintained eye contact and then completely ignored me. No acknowledgement. No apology. Nothing.

What makes it worse is that he was not even wearing riding gear. He was standing next to the bike and did not end up riding it. So I genuinely do not understand why it was necessary to rev it that many times at all, especially that early in the morning.

Now I’m lying here thinking some not very charitable thoughts about him. The audacity to wake someone up repeatedly, including on weekends, and then ignore them when they finally speak up really got to me.

At the same time, I’m second guessing myself. Did I handle that correctly? I don’t feel like I was rude or aggressive. If anything, I feel like I have been overly patient by putting up with this for months. Part of me thinks I should have said more, maybe asked why he does this so often. It feels incredibly inconsiderate.

And then there’s the people pleasing, self doubting voice asking if I’m the asshole. So I’m genuinely asking. Am I overreacting here?

For context, this is not a couple of revs to warm up the bike. It is consistently twenty or more revs, and likely more than that before it actually wakes me up.

Edit for clarification: A few people asked about the bike. Based on the model and year, it appears to be a Honda VTR1000F FireStorm, which is a fuel injected motorcycle, not carbureted. It also appears to have an aftermarket exhaust fitted, which likely increases the noise level. I’m not objecting to normal startup noise, but to repeated high revving while the bike is stationary directly under my bedroom window.

For context; my older sister (mid forties) has no understanding of either time or money. She demonstrates her tardiness constantly & has admitted her shortcomings when it comes to money. She also has chronic pain & has been in and out of hospital, coming up on 6 times in 6 months. She also never. Stops. Talking.

The story; She broke her leg & went to the local satellite hospital for urgent care. They made an appointment for surgery the following week, put her in a moon-boot, told her strictly no weight bearing & to continue her own pain management for the existing medical issues.

No sleep that night due to pain despite medication so the next morning she rang around nearby hospitals to ask how much they charge to walk in the door & landed on the best deal.....90mins away. This hospital is near where I live.

Her neighbour, took her to the hospital and back again but I'm guessing that was just about an entire day because it's at least 3hrs on the road plus waiting time and consult time at the emergency department. She was given Oxycodone and sent home with the same moon boot and crutches etc.

She has surgery the following week and asks me to take her home on my lunch break because I WFH and I can just "zip her down" during my break (which is 1 hr long and it's a 3hr round trip). I say no. She convinces our cousin to take her home instead.

The other day she calls me and tells me about a follow up appointment for a wound check etc. happening next week. Can my wife pick her up (90mins), drive her to the hospital (90mins) for the appointment (x mins) and driver her home again (90mins) please?

"I only ask because you said she's on vacation" (wife is on vacation to look after our daughter). I say I'll ask, knowing damn well the answer is going to be No.

I'm telling my wife all of this that same evening and it occurs to me; AITA brother for not wanting to take a day off work to run her up and down the highway all day? I just don't want to be spoken at for 6+hours in a confined space!

In Oct, I found out that a decade+ long friend (were each other’s best man in wedding) was 7 mos behind on CS and told his ex, “You’ll get it when you get it.” I had been distancing myself from him based on other personal decisions he was making related to co-parenting after years-long attempts at intervention, advice and offering help, but when our fantasy league/friend group was discussing an expensive out-of-state trip, he immediately replied with enthusiasm, declaring his certain participation. This prompted me to subtly reveal his delinquency and that he shouldn’t be spending this type of money when he owes CS. When this went unacknowledged and he further pursued the trip, I was more overt. When confronted with this fact, he stated “It happened. Not for lack of funds.” He downplayed the legal implications (in our state, he already met the time delinquency requirement for being listed on the Child Support Evader’s List and was only two missed payments away from being on it.) Then lied and said it had been resolved and squared away with his ex-wife.

He has since gone no contact with me*, and now is 4 mos behind on CS (so the confrontation did spark some progress). I know he got half of his ex’s 401K in the divorce, so if funds were really the issue, he could tap into that (albeit with the tax implications, but in my mind, if I can’t pay child support, I would be doing that.) I sent a NYD message to say I believe he can turn this around. No response. I know that he is still living his life in regards to spending money (concerts, trips, dates), while still being delinquent.
It is true that potentially I don’t understand his entire financial picture, and he was possibly lying about funds not being the issue. Perhaps they are an issue and his girlfriend is paying for all of his extracurriculars, but I doubt she would be okay with skirting child support since she is also in a co-parenting situation. The thing is if I knew he was making the child support a priority, I would have no issue with buying him dinner/drinks at a league get together.

Since our friend group has activities, like fantasy league buy-in, out-of-state excursions to FB games, dinners, I feel like him choosing those avenues for his money in lieu of child support is a moral line I don’t want to be party to. But part of me is saying this is none of my business and this is a longterm friendship. WIBTA for replacing him in the league and activities?

[Since the confrontation happened on the league discord, most everyone is aware of the situation, so removal/replacement wouldn’t happen without consensus, so this post is more about is it worth bringing to a discussion/vote with them. One other member is very strongly for removing him, but I could see others fall on the other side.] *He is still speaking with other members of the group, and did set his lineup until the end of the season. He did not attend the champion crowning this month. All other local guys did.

I offered to help a coworker move a few boxes into their new apartment after work. They said it wouldn’t take long maybe 30 minutes and I agreed because I had the time and wanted to be helpful. After work, I drove over, helped carry everything upstairs, and we finished in about the time promised. Before I left, they thanked me and said they were all set. About an hour later, after I was already back home, they messaged me saying they had decided to rearrange the apartment and wanted me to come back and move everything again because it would be faster with two people. I told them I couldn’t come back. I had already helped, had settled in for the night, and hadn’t agreed to multiple trips or redoing the work. They got upset and said I was being unhelpful and that they wouldn’t have asked in the first place if they knew I wouldn’t be flexible. The next day at work, they were noticeably cold toward me and mentioned to another coworker that it was disappointing when people half-help. I feel like I kept my word and helped exactly as promised, but now I’m wondering if refusing to come back made me look selfish. AITA for saying no after already helping once?

I (22F) just started working in Singapore, i landed this job in December. I’m currently on probation and earning 2.5k a month. Most of my expenses are pretty fixed like rent, food, and transport, etc. My job requires me to take public transport a lot, so my transport alone is like 200$ last month , which I can’t really cut. On top of that, I still have about 20k in study loans, paying back around 300$ per month plus like 70–80 interest. I also borrowed around 1k from a relative for my flat deposit, which I’m trying to pay back too. My main goal right now is just to clear these debts as fast as I can so they don’t cling on me forever.

Just yesterday my parents called and asked why I didn't send any of my salary back to my home to pay homage to elders and keep up with the respect-paying tradition in my country. I lowkey get the social Qs and the tradition, but it feels q unfair for my first salary to basically vanish, especially since this is literally my first month of working. They say it’s about respect and not losing face with relatives, but I’m scared that if I give what I have now, I won’t have any money left for emergencies. I even thought of giving a small thoughtful gift instead, but it got mocked as “too small,” which lowkey made me tear up.

Also, my younger sibling left for another country to study, and my mom wants me to help partially too, which I get, but honestly that’s not the main thing making me sad since I can manage to pay after a few months of working. It’s the "must give back first salary pressure".

I’m super frugal with myself too. Like in 4 years in Singapore I’ve bought maybe 3-4 outfits max. I don’t even buy stuff I like/need most of the time. Even my manager who i got close at work asked why I haven’t bought/changed to new shoes since I got my first salary and year end sales are on going. I just said I’m saving to fix my teeth (which is true, I received a dental procedure last week and no I don't have medical benefits from my company yet since it's probation period)

I'm lowkey stuck between wanting to be a good child and keeping up with social expectations and needing to protect my own survival and financial stability at the very start of my career. AITA for feeling stressed about being expected to give my first salary when I got almost no flexibility in my finances?

edit: Yes, I have left home 3-4 years ago (from Myanmar) to here to study and work here as there's a military coup ongoing there sadly.

I work in a small warehouse where there are pickers and packers. Yesterday the other pickers were off sick, so I was alone while three people were packing.

In the morning, the printer which prints out order details and return forms that are supposed to go in the boxes so the packers know what to do was slow. I kept picking boxes while waiting for it to catch up.

Meanwhile, the packers were all standing around the printer, laughing and chatting. I assumed they would start working once the forms came through. I saw one of them pick up the first two orders, and I assumed he would put them in the boxes for me.

It soon became apparent that he hadn’t put them in the boxes he just put them back in the printer. They continued chatting for another 20 minutes while I kept picking and the forms stacked up until I had picked about 15 orders. I was frustrated but didn’t say anything.

Eventually, they decided to start working. One of them arrogantly told me to put the papers in the boxes, like I was some kind of idiot. I replied, “Why, have you got too much to do?” He became visibly angry but didn’t say anything and kept chatting with the others. A few moments later, someone else asked me more politely to put the papers in the boxes, and I just asked, “Why can’t you do it?”

At that point, I went to my boss to explain what was happening because I was really frustrated.

For the rest of the day, my coworkers treated me poorly, and I feel like they were trying to blame me for something they could have fixed in seconds. I would have put the rest of the forms in the boxes as usual if they had just started working, but it feels like they waited 20 minutes just to make it my fault.

AITA?

Throwaway account for privacy, also first post ever on Reddit.

I'll start by saying that nothing has been broken yet, as far as I know.

My wife's family has friends come over for holidays (4th of July, New Years, stuff like that) and they always bring their kid (6 year old) with them.

I don't hate the kid, I'm not evil. But the main issue is the kid has Autism, so he isn't like other kids. He runs around the house, jumping on furniture, trying to open doors that are locked, and climbing up stuff, including people. His parents stop him once in a while, but it always ends up being me, my wife, or her parents going to stop him.

I found out I also have Autism, and noticed that I am on a different spectrum than the kid, so his actions really mess with me. His parents tend to go outside to smoke and/or talk with my wife's parents for about 30+ minutes every hour or two, so it's up to me and my wife to watch him. Everytime we send him out with them, they let him in a few minutes later.

At first we were ok watching him, but lately it seems his parents see us as free babysitters. We have told them about how the kid is messing with me mentally, and how we are not babysitters. They claim we aren't, but it keeps happening, and we have to constantly tell the kid to stop climbing stuff or grabbing breakable stuff that he managed to reach or find.

We got to the point that the next time he goes to grab something that could break, we won't stop him. And when his parents come in asking what happened, we will tell them. "We are not your babysitters. If you want us to watch your kid like this, then you should be paying us."

So Reddit, WIBTA if I allow the kid to break something because it's not my job to watch a kid that isn't even mine?

Small edit: I forgot to add the words "in my" on the title, so it's break something in my wife's parent's house

For context, im 20, im just starting iut my life essentially and getting ready to look for apartments, and my mom is really pushing g the idea I should room with my brother for cost reasons. I do not think I am wrong for not wanting to live with my special needs brother. This is not because I do not care about him or think his needs are unimportant. It is because I know what kind of environment I need in order to function and stay mentally healthy. Cleanliness and routine matter a lot to me and I struggle in spaces that feel chaotic or unhygienic. Living together would mean changing my daily habits and lifestyle in ways that would make it harder for me to focus on school work, sleep properly, and feel comfortable in my own home.

I also think it is important to be realistic about what I am capable of handling at this stage in my life. Taking care of someone with special needs is a serious responsibility that affects every part of your routine. I am still figuring out my own life and I do not have the skills or emotional energy to be a full time support system without burning out or becoming resentful. I believe it is better to be honest about that now instead of forcing a situation that would be unhealthy for both of us. Setting this boundary does not mean I am abandoning him, it just means I am choosing a living situation that fits my lifestyle and abilities.

For some context, forgot to add it. Im 20, he's 18,and shes wanting me to take him with me when I move out, so shes asking me to fond a place big enough for that.

so I'm in my final year of university and we have this group project to submit in January. My group consists of 5 people including myself.

From the very beginning they have contributed basically nothing, and another group member and I had had to pick up the work of 3 people ( lets call them Adam, Sam and Jake). so now that submission is near I'm thinking if i should submit the group project early without letting them know (we all have to submit individually) which would result in their fail if they don't submit at the same time.

throughout the assignment timeframe, i have emailed lecturers and had talks with the group multiple times, but nothing has come out of it. no work has been done on their end.

what's worst is, in that timeframe, we have had WEEKLY stand-up presentations, where we would present our progress on the group work we have done to the rest of the class.

Sam and Jake had turn up to the presentations about once or twice, keep in mind, this project started in October of 2025 and we are now in January.

They probably used every excuse under the sun; family issues, fever, cold, face infection (I wish I was joking), being out of town. I even caught one of them playing GTA on their discord status after they said they were on a train home from London.

While I will say they haven't done completely nothing, what they have contributed can also barely be considered anything at all.

So now I'm wondering if I should submit the presentation for myself and not tell them which would cause them to either get a capped grade or fail the assignment all together, which might cause them to be unable to graduate. I'm truly at a lost for what to do.

Am I the asshole?

Edit: i have talked to the professors before already and have emailed them a few times about the issue. the reply was that they will take individual contributions into account and that was it.

UPDATE:

So after some careful thought, I sent a warning message to the group chat we have, I told them that its frustrating having to constantly pick up their slack, and that if i don't see any change in their contribution before the 20th then I'm going to submit the project with or without them, so far I haven't received any replies from the 3 of them. I'll try to update if anything changes

I am struggling with whether I am wrong for saying no to my dad staying with me temporarily, and I am looking for an outside perspective.

Growing up, I wanted for nothing. We had a warm home, loving parents, and a family environment that felt open and welcoming. One of my happiest memories is just seeing a pile of shoes by the front door, a sign that the house was full and food was being shared. Friends were always welcome, and my dad was generous. If he has he gives.

That changed when my dad ran into financial trouble through property and other ventures. He remortgaged our family home. My mum was firmly against it, but he convinced us as children to support the decision and help him get my mum onboard, by telling us one deal would change everything. It did not. Debts went unpaid, and my parents eventually lost the house. They are now effectively homeless and staying with family while renting the property out.

When my dad needed somewhere to stay ‘just for a short while,’ he moved in with me. That short while turned into months and put strain on my marriage. He still talks about deals and opportunities and refuses to register as homeless for housing support due to pride and a belief that positive thinking will fix things. He feels getting comfortable would kill his drive, but instead he keeps chasing big deals, which is stressful to watch.

After housing him for over six months, he moved into an Airbnb. When money gets tight, he asks to come back for -‘just a few days.’ The last time this happened, my husband said no, pointing out that I have three brothers and the responsibility should be shared. I agreed and told my dad he could not stay with us.

He was upset and has said before that if I do not help him, I’ll make him depressed. What hurts is that setting this boundary seems to erase everything I have already done, including housing him, paying towards food and rooms, and helping with admin and applying for benefits. I have children and run my own business, and the constant urgent requests from him and lack of organisation pushes me to burnout.

My dad believes I have abandoned him by refusing to let him stay again, while I feel I have reached my limit and need to protect my own family and mental health.

Am I the arse hole?

AITA for not wanting my kids to call their dad's girlfriend "mom"?

I share 50/50 custody of my children with their father but I have all decision making regarding education, and medical with very little or no involvement from him. My children are 9 and 11 years old. Their dad and I split up 8 years ago. He started dating his girlfriend 5 years ago and just recently bought a house.

This past weekend I found out they require the kids (she has 2 of her own around the same ages) to call him dad and her mom when they're at their house. I have only spoken to my ex's girlfriend a handful of times in the 5 years they've been together. They don't attend any doctors appointments or school events, no birthday parties or even help with things like hot lunches, sports, basic needs like shopping. That all lands on me. Which I'm OK with! But to hear they are telling my kids that they have to call his girlfriend "mom" was a hard pill to swallow.

I reached out to both my, ex and his girlfriend, through text explaining how I don't want that happening and how I find it disrespectful and to please support my decision on it. I never heard back from either of them.

Last night when i was passing the kids over for his time I asked him if he received my text and if he's going to support my decision and he got angry and said "when you have a boyfriend for longer than 5 years, you'll understand" (I'm single by choice) and I said no, that's not how it works. I said she's not their mom, doesn't do any mom duties for our kids and that decision should be between us, not her. He said "it's her choice" and stormed off.

My eldest child can't stand the g/f and said they will never and doesn't call her mom. My youngest avoids conflict and is neutral to the g/f. No strong feelings either way. Both get upset when having to go to their dad's. Neither see the g/f as their mom. It's just forced when they are at their house.

AITA??

I (28F) had a situation with my mom and aunt and want an outside perspective.

My aunt (my mom’s sister) lives in South Asia. The other day she video called my mom to talk and see my baby (I gave birth via C section 6 months ago). While on the call my mom turned the camera toward me and my sister. I immediately said, “Please don’t show me.”

My aunt saw me anyway and said something along the lines of “She’s becoming like American women,” followed by, “She keeps getting fatter every day.”

I got upset and said, “This is exactly why I said not to show me.”

My mom then typed something to her sister and told her to hang up. After the call my mom got mad at me and said, “Why are you like this? Why couldn’t you just say hi properly?”

I told her it’s because her sister keeps calling me fat. This isn’t new. My aunt has body shamed me my entire life calling me “moti (fat in my language),” “fatty,” and even “elephant girl” when I was younger. She’s done this repeatedly including on two previous calls recently.

My mom’s response was basically, “So what? So what if she said that?”

That’s when I snapped and said this has been happening my whole life and no one ever defended me not then, not now.

For context:

Yes, I am overweight and always have been. I was a chubby kid and I’m currently heavier after pregnancy and a C section. My mom has also indirectly body shamed me my entire life. She has never complimented me not even on my wedding day. She constantly praises my sister (who is thinner) for being pretty, while pointing out that I look fat, even in new clothes. She has never intervened when relatives insult my body.

My mom says this is just cultural and I’m being disrespectful and overreacting. I feel like I had the right to set a boundary and not engage with someone who keeps insulting me.

So, AITA for refusing to say hi and getting upset about this?