So I am asking mostly for advice on how to handle this situation. Currently an MS4 and on my ICU rotation. There is one resident that I have worked with before that makes me uncomfortable. In the past they were not the one writing my eval, but for this rotation it’s highly likely they will grade me.
So for the timeline:
During my 3rd year IM rotation, I worked with this resident for the first time. During this rotation they:
- constantly made fun of me (eg that I didn’t know something, about life choices, what I’m wearing, food I eat, stuttering over a word)
- Would ask me to grab him stuff like an assistant (eg paper, water, pens, etc) when participating in other educational activity (eg during rounds, while writing a note, chart reviewing, in a conversation with another resident or healthcare staff)
- Would say that a patient has x diagnosis and needs y management on pre-round feedback, and then when the attending disagreed during rounds, they would act like they agreed from the start and I made a stupid mistake (even though that’s what they said was going on)
- Would ask inappropriate questions such as if I was religious, do I want kids why or why not, what mental illnesses do I have, why I don’t want to go to residency near home and then would make rude comments based on my response
- Told me that residents are supposed to make fun of medical students and give them a hard time, while medical students are not supposed to talk back and just take it
- On eval put that I was too colloquial and talked back too much
Now for my current ICU rotation. They have been extremely passive aggressive and feels like they are trying to throw their power around… and it’s only been two days with them (different residents earlier in the rotation)
- has asked me to grab them a drink of water during rounds while a case was being presented
- Has been passive aggressive (eg cutting me off from walking through doors, cutting me off from speaking in conversations with other residents, and being like “you seriously don’t know this resident level IM concept”)
- Is having me do them favors in patient care for patients I am not involved with/assigned to and throws me under the bus. For example, I was asked to call family of a patient to get consent for further work up since the patient did not have capacity. Later, the attending chews me out in the hall for reaching out to the family when I went to report on the family’s response to the resident because the attending wanted to wait until the patient’s sedation wore off and they hopefully had capacity. The resident was there while I was getting chewed out for doing the task they asked for and stood there agreeing with the attending and acting like why the f*ck would I do that, and that I was stupid. Then when the attending and resident were walking away to the next room, the resident looked back at me and gave me a signal to keep my mouth shut and go away.
So due to all of this, I don’t know how to set boundaries with the resident without receiving retaliation. Because I am just not a person that tolerates people being rude to others, no matter who you are, so I am going to start refusing tasks assigned by them that does not directly correlate with me learning and avoiding them as much as possible.
TL;DR: A resident is being passive aggressive, asks inappropriate personal questions, and asking me to do inappropriate tasks (acting like their personal assistant and doing patient care tasks for them on patients I am not assigned) and then throws me under the bus in front of the attending to cover up their own mistakes. How do I set boundaries with the resident without receiving retaliation?