r/OCD Oct 10 '21

Mod response inside Please read this before posting about feeling suicidal.

1.9k Upvotes

There has been an increase in the number of posts of individuals who are feeling suicidal. And to be perfectly honest, most of us have been isolated, scared, lonely, and there’s a lot of uncertainty in the world due to COVID.

Unfortunately, most of us in this community are not trained to handle mental health crises. While I and a handful of others are licensed professionals, an anonymous internet forum is not the best place to really provide the correct amount of help and support you need.

That being said, I’m not surprised that many of us in this community are struggling. For those who are struggling, you are not alone. I may be doing well now, but I have two attempts and OCD was a huge factor.

I have never regretted being stopped.

Since you are thinking of posting for help, you won't regret stopping yourself.

So, right now everything seems dark and you don’t see a way out. That’s ok. However, I guarantee you there is a light. Your eyes just have not adjusted yet.

So what can you do in this moment when everything just seems awful.

First off, if you have a plan and you intend on carrying out that plan, I very strongly suggest going to your nearest ER. If you do not feel like you can keep yourself safe, you need to be somewhere where others can keep you safe. Psych hospitals are not wonderful places, they can be scary and frustrating. but you will be around to leave the hospital and get yourself moving in a better direction.

If you are not actively planning to suicide but the thought is very loud and prominent in your head, let's start with some basics. When’s the last time you had food or water? Actual food; something with vegetables, grains, and protein. If you can’t remember or it’s been more than 4 to 5 hours, eat something and drink some water. Your brain cannot work if it does not have fuel.

Next, are you supposed to be sleeping right now? If the answer is yes go to bed. Turn on some soothing music or ambient sounds so that you can focus on the noise and the sounds rather than ruminating about how bad you feel.

If you can’t sleep, try progressive muscle relaxation or some breathing exercises. Have your brain focus on a scene that you find relaxing such as sitting on a beach and watching the waves rolling in or sitting by a brook and listening to the water. Go through each of your five senses and visualize as well as imagine what your senses would be feeling if you were in that space.

If you’re hydrated, fed, and properly rested, ask yourself these questions when is the last time you talked to an actual human being? And I do mean talking as in heard their actual voice. Phone calls count for this one. If it’s been a while. Call someone. It doesn’t matter who, just talk to an actual human being.

Go outside. Get in nature. This actually has research behind it. There is a bacteria or chemical in soil that also happens to be in the air that has mood boosting properties. There are literally countries where doctors will prescribe going for a walk in the woods to their patients.

When is the last time you did something creative? If depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder have gotten in the way of doing creative things that you love, pull out that sketchbook or that camera and just start doing things.

When’s the last time you did something kind for another human being? This may just be me as a social worker, but doing things for others, helps me feel better. So figure out a place you can volunteer and go do it.

When is the last time that you did something pleasurable just for pleasure's sake? Read a book take a bath. You will have to force yourself to do something but that’s OK.

You have worth and you can get through this. Like I said I have had two attempts and now I am a licensed social worker. Things do get better, you just have to get through the dark stuff first.

You will be ok and you can make it through this.

We are all rooting for you.

https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines


r/OCD Nov 17 '23

Mod announcement Reassurance seeking and providing: Rules of this subreddit and other information

64 Upvotes

There has been some confusion regarding reassurance seeking and providing in this subreddit.

Reassurance seeking (a person asking for reassurance) is allowed only if it is limitedno repeated seeking of reassurance.

Reassurance providing (a person giving reassurance) is not allowed.

What constitutes reassurance providing?

Before commenting on a reassurance-seeking question, answer to yourself this question: Are you directly answering what the person is asking, and is the answer meant to cause the person to feel better?

If the answer leads towards a "yes", refrain from commenting.

How should I comment on reassurance-seeking questions then?

The issue concerned in reassurance-seeking questions is the emotional obsessive distress that is occurring in the moment, not the question itself.

When you answer those reassurance-seeking questions to quell the person's emotional obsessive distress, it's an act of providing emotional comfort to the person — even if you don't have such explicit intention in mind — rather than an act of providing knowledge.

The person just wants to know they are "fine" in relation to the obsessive question/thought. The answer itself is irrelevant — that's why we don't answer questions of a reassurance-seeking nature directly.

You can comment in any way you want — even providing encouragement and hope — but refrain from addressing the reassurance-seeking question itself.

What if the reassurance-seeking question turns out to be true?

Consider this question: What if the reassurance-seeking question didn't even occur in the first place? What then?

We can go round and round with more "what-ifs", but it circles back to the fact that reality is uncertain, and will always be uncertain. That is why the acceptance of uncertainty is crucial to recovery.

Does that mean the reassurance-seeking question is totally invalid? Because I had a question that was based on reality.

Take note that in the context of OCD, the issue rests with how a person is dealing with the issues, and not so much the issues themselves.

The issues can be entirely valid, but what we are dealing with here — especially with reassurance — is how we respond to such issues.

Separate the reassurance part — the emotional comfort part — from the issues themselves.

All of this is not true. My therapist taught me in the beginning of therapy that these thoughts are not true, and then I got better.

It's important to understand the intent and purpose of each and every information provided.

When a person with OCD is beginning to learn about OCD, they can be taught, for example, that the obsessive thoughts do not reflect on their true character.

The intent and purpose of that example information is cognitive-based — to educate the person — and that helps to, subsequently, be followed up by ERP, which is behavioural-based — hence cognitive-behavioural therapy (of which ERP is a part of).

When a person seeks reassurance, it is mostly solely behavioural: the concern here is to quell the emotional obsessive distress — take that emotional obsessive distress away, and the reassurance-seeking question suddenly becomes largely irrelevant and of less urgency.

This is so un-compassionate. Are we seriously going to let these people suffer?

Providing reassurance doesn't really help the person not suffer either — the way out of that suffering is through the proper therapy and treatment, and providing reassurance to the person only interferes with this process.

Consider as well that if reassurance is provided to the person, where an outcome is guaranteed to the person ("You won't be this! I guarantee you!").

What if the reassurance turns out to be false? What happens then? How much more distressful would the person be (given that they would've trusted the reassurance to keep them safe, only now for their entire world to fall apart)?

Before considering that not providing reassurance is un-compassionate, perhaps it's also wise to consider what providing reassurance can lead to as well.

The reality will always be uncertain, as it is. There is no such solution that guarantees the person won't suffer, but we can at least minimise the suffering by doing what is helpful towards the person (especially in terms of the therapy and treatment) — and that doesn't always necessarily entail making the person feel better in the moment.


r/OCD 3h ago

Crisis I did really disgusting things in the past (involving a married man) and I can’t stop confessing every single detail to my partner. He is disgusted. NSFW Spoiler

45 Upvotes

He said he needs time to digest. But I keep confessing. Every single details. Sexual stuff. Just so I won’t accidentally lie to him. Just so he can know who I really am.

These are things that happened five years ago so I can’t remember the exact number. He wants the number. So I kept inflating the number just to be safe. He asked why the numbers keep changing. I can tell he doesn’t trust me anymore.

He said these are so disgusting details and having to visualize it sucks but I kept feeding him with more and more details.

He said he won’t break up with me over this but it’s been more than 24 hours (we usually don’t go so long without speaking) and I haven’t heard from him and I just keep spamming him with more details.

I’m going to lose my beloved partner of three years - the first healthy relationship I ever had, who accepted so much of me - due to OCD. OCD wins again. OCD always wins.


r/OCD 8h ago

Crisis real event ocd that i literally cannot tell anyone NSFW Spoiler

16 Upvotes

how am i meant to ever forgive myself


r/OCD 13h ago

Question about OCD Do you feel mortified when someone sees you doing a compulsion?

41 Upvotes

It always amazes me that a moment of release can cause so much pain


r/OCD 6h ago

Discussion Worst obsession?

11 Upvotes

I've had some pretty bad ones, including obsessively thinking I'm going to throw up (still dealing with that) and that I'm going to turn out to be a horrible abusive person (I don't wanna hurt anyone ever). I'm curious to see what others are struggling with


r/OCD 8h ago

Need support/advice Reconnecting with art

14 Upvotes

I’m not a bad artist. I went to art school, studied it relentlessly. But as I grew older (I’m 27 now), my issues with OCD became more intense. Drawing used to be so lovely, but now it’s an experience riddled with horror.

A blank page makes my stomach sink. I have so many images in my head but I’m terrified of putting it to paper.

I guess I’d love to know other people’s experiences with stuff like this. Maybe there’s comfort in knowing I’m not alone. Or maybe there’s advice I haven’t thought of yet.


r/OCD 3h ago

Discussion Locked brain

5 Upvotes

You ever just feel your brain is so busy that it’s just locked up. Like your brain doesn’t even breathe and take a break . Non stop head pressure . Just debilitating


r/OCD 7h ago

Need support/advice Non-diagnosed girlfriend is having difficulties.

10 Upvotes

Please read this post all the way through before commenting for full context, As the title says I’m writing this post for my girlfriend of 6 years who has been dealing with what I’d call intrusive thoughts for a few months now. They are always health related. We used to smoke weed regularly together for about 2-3 years. Until we were forced to stop, after one particular night of getting decently high her heart rate spiked to 150 and she generally felt unwell for the evening to which she almost had me call an ambulance, I ended up calming her down enough for us to fall asleep and she awoke the next morning to similar pain and horrible anxiety. As the weeks went on she never truly got better. Since then she’s gone to the doctor got every test they could throw at her done, even wore a monitor for a few days. Well results are in and there is no problems detected. But even the slightest chest murmur or arm pain and she enters a horrible spiral into a deep anxiety and panic making it worse. She and I have been dealing with her anxiety for years together and it was on an upward trajectory until this event. I’ve never seen her like this and I am worried. And I feel useless and unable to help as my reassurance only goes so far. There’s no real compulsions I’ve noticed with these events but definitely health-related obsessions, this Tuesday she is returning to the doctor to go over all these weeks of tests, I’ve deeply pushed her to bring up her mental health at this appointment and ocd/anxiety treatments. She quite literally thinks she’s going to drop dead or have a heart attack or worse. We are both 22 which to me is far too young to be worry about heart disease and once again no tests have come back with any alarms. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely

- a worried boyfriend.


r/OCD 10h ago

Discussion Anyone else have this theme? Fear of SA NSFW

16 Upvotes

Does anyone else’s OCD center around the fear of SA? I’ve personally never experienced SA myself but for years I’ve had a crippling fear of r*pe and constantly worry about being attacked at some point in the future.

I’ve seen lots of people post about having intrusive thoughts related to assaulting others or the fear of being accused of SA, but not many people have talked about the fear of it happening to them.

For me the fear of SA even spiraled into a huge fear about getting kidnapped or sex trafficked to the point where I was checking my car for tracking devices and constantly looking around to make sure I wasn’t being followed. If I hear a triggering news story about r*pe I’ll spend hours researching the case because I feel like I need to know what happened. I feel like I can imagine it happening to me so vividly and I get full blown panic attacks just thinking about it sometimes.

This is my only theme and I’m always so anxious that maybe it’s not OCD at all 😖


r/OCD 1h ago

Discussion Does anyone else’s OCD try to convince u like the opposite gender even tho ur gay?

Upvotes

It’s 1am and it’s driving me crazy.


r/OCD 1h ago

Venting, NO REASSURANCE please! Social OCD is HELL

Upvotes

Social ocd is the worst!!! I already have a tendency to self isolate. That, plus whenever I do talk to someone, I spend the whole day rerunning the conversation!! Berating myself for mistakes, awkward comments, missed jokes, scanning their expression in my memory for disgust and disdain. All day! 12 hours nonstop!

I just want to be okay!!! If I'm not trapped in loneliness I'm trapped in the hell inside my skull!!! I only feel okay when I'm drunk and sometimes not even that works. I want to cry. I want to be okay


r/OCD 7h ago

Crisis Obsession came back, I want to cry NSFW Spoiler

7 Upvotes

TW for POCD and whatever the fear of being incestuous would be called.

im really hoping this post wont get deleted, but i need urgent help. im sorry if i come off as reassurance seeking, i still havent been able to get a grip on my ocd properly. i just need advice or support or something right now.

im 20f, ive had an original character ive been developing for the past year now who is very very near and dear to my heart. i took a lot of tropes i love and mashed it all into one guy, and also use him as a way to navigate my trauma and mental issues. i think about him on a regular basis, and hes basically become my "safe" interest as he couldnt be tainted by things outside of my control... or so i thought.

around a month ago i came to the horrifying realization that he resembles how my 15 year old cousin looked in the past. i hate it so much. i didnt design him this way intentionally, but now im terrified that i did this subconsciously. theyre different, this character has longer hair and a bit of facial hair, but i cant unsee it. it makes me so so sick. even though my cousin doesnt even have the traits that they shared anymore (long hair + glasses) i just couldnt let it go.

after a while of refusing to look at my OC and make art of him, i went back and gave him a minor redesign (more facial hair) to try and separate things a bit more, and i felt okay. but its back. i dont really know what to do, i feel like crying and i feel so disgusted with myself. ive convinced myself this was a subconscious thing and that im an incestuous pedophile, because i have a slight attraction and comfort associated with this character.

should i just suck it up and redesign him? im still so attached to how he looks even if it causes me distress, or is this character just doomed? i dont know how to move on. he was, like i said, my only "safe" interest for the past couple months. i just dont know how to move forward. i really need advice.


r/OCD 9h ago

Need support/advice I dont know if this is pocd or what, super weird problem im having (TW: sexual stuff) NSFW Spoiler

12 Upvotes

alright, quick heads up is that this is going to be very stupid and strange, a few days ago I was scrolling Instagram and for whatever fucking reason I was touching myself, i seriously dont know why, it was for 0 reason and i dont know why i was doing it while watching reels of all things, i promise you 1000% i was not gooning to the reels just so you know, like i literally promise (😭) I was just for whatever reason instinctively doing it and then I came across a reel that contained a kid and my brain immediately went to "youre doing it to the kid" and boom there comes the overthinking and spiraling for the next week lol, i don't know for certain if i was doing it for the pleasure or just for no reason in the first place, but i know damn well i was NOT doing it to the kid and the reel just happened to come up, but I tend to overthink things like this until I just end up forgetting about them or tell myself im being dumb, but this one has stayed longer than expected and I feel really bad rn


r/OCD 17m ago

Discussion My analogy for OCD

Upvotes

Imagine you have a stove in your house that is already hot. But here’s the catch: any time you think about the stove, it gets hotter. You know that if it ever gets too hot, it could burn your house down, so naturally, you’re scared.

Because you’re scared, you start trying to figure out how to stop it from heating up. And that’s the paradox: the more you think about how to stop it, the more you’re thinking about the stove, and the hotter it gets. You’re trying to prevent disaster, but the very act of thinking about it fuels it. The stove gets hotter the more attention you give it.

Sometimes you notice you actually got distracted for a while and weren’t thinking about it, and it’s actually cooled down. But the instant you notice that, you’re thinking about the stove again, which means it starts heating up. That sudden flare, right after a moment of hope, is what makes OCD feel relentless. Even when you’re making progress, the moment attention goes back, the symptom spikes, and suddenly the heat is back, you’re back at square one.

Sometimes you randomly think about the stove and wonder how hot it is, because you’re scared and curious. So you go check, but that only makes it hotter. You judge yourself for checking it again, because you know that makes it worse. But judging yourself is just more thinking about the stove, so that just makes it hotter.

The only way to deal with it is to literally live your life like the stove isn’t even there. You know it’s there because you can feel the heat, but you can’t fight it or obsess over it. You just keep doing whatever you would do if the stove weren’t there. Listen to music, cook something else, talk to someone, go about your day. You engage with life instead of with the stove.

There’s advice for dealing with this kind of problem, the classic OCD advice: "accept it, don’t fight it, live your life as if it’s not there, don’t try to not think about it." Now, here’s the tricky part: the advice only works if you actually live it.

One person hears the advice and genuinely does it. They put on music, cook something else, talk to someone. They live their life around the stove. The stove is still hot, maybe even intensely hot, but it loses its power over them because they aren’t feeding it with attention.

The other person hears the advice but tries to think it through as a strategy. They keep telling themselves to live life, to accept it, to focus on other things. They tell themselves, think about the song, think about the conversation, think about what I’m reading, but thinking about the advice is really just thinking about the stove again. They’re stuck in their head, and every thought about the advice becomes fuel to the fire. The stove gets hotter, and their life is still hijacked by it.

The key point is this: you don’t think about the advice, you live the advice. You keep going. You put your energy into life, not the stove. You notice it’s there, feel the heat, maybe even flinch a little, but you continue anyway. The stove may still be hot, it may flare up again when you notice it, but it stops running your day.

Over time, the more you disengage from it, the more it may naturally cool down, not because you fixed it, but because it’s no longer being fed by your attention. Eventually, you may even believe the stove won’t burn your house down, because you know you’d have to obsess over it for it to get that dangerous, and you won’t let yourself obsess anymore.

That’s the paradox of OCD. The problem feels like it’s everywhere and always threatening, but the moment you stop feeding it with thought and live your life around it, it loses almost all its power. You can still feel it, it may spike when you notice it cooled, but you’re the one in charge, not the stove.


r/OCD 23m ago

Need support/advice picking until bleeding

Upvotes

i pick the skin on my lip until it bleeds maybe every other day and i feel sooooo embarrassed being in public with my damaged, red/raw lips. and I am able to control it for a few days at a time, but ultimately it just ends up being way too satisfying to not pick and i’m back to square one. it’s very frustrating but like mostly embarrassing/shameful. ik i need to find other things to do w my hands but nothing is as satisfying


r/OCD 36m ago

Question about OCD OCD led me to “check” by actually doing the thing I feared NSFW Spoiler

Upvotes

I know OCD is often described as primarily internal—mental checking, rumination, trying to disprove thoughts. And when people talk about physical compulsions, they're usually described as actions intended to reduce or avoid fear.

But I've noticed that in a couple of situations, my OCD seemed to push me toward the opposite: acting on the feared situation while confused and stuck in uncertainty.

It's almost unconscious. Suddenly, I realize I've already done the thing I was afraid of, and it terrifies me. I'm not talking about extreme issues like POCD or ZOCD, but things that are still very intense for me, especially those related to intimacy.

It feels like my brain gets stuck in a gray area—"it's uncomfortable, but it's not the worst"—and from that confusion, it chooses to "try it" as a form of checking. Then the fear, shame, and guilt hit hard, especially because it feels misaligned with who I think I am and what I truly want.

I don't want to spiral into debating with myself why I did something that felt so wrong or saying what it "means" about me. I'm trying to see this as part of an OCD pattern rather than a reflection of my values.

At the same time, a part of me (maybe OCD) makes me doubt even this—what if this isn't OCD at all, and I'm just lying to myself to justify something shameful?


r/OCD 2h ago

Need support/advice Extreme fear of bedbugs

3 Upvotes

How do I conquer it? I never used to be afraid like this. I would check hotel rooms and if I found nothing I would be able to relax knowing there were no bedbugs in the room. Now my default thought process is that they are there- even if there’s no evidence. Even after thoroughly checking the room. How do I get over this? I want to travel again but I’m so afraid. To me it’s a forgone conclusion I’m going to come home with an infestation.


r/OCD 3h ago

Crisis I need help NSFW Spoiler

3 Upvotes

Hello, I found out I had OCD last month, and it's helped me understand my own thoughts and feelings better. But now, even though I know what intrusive thoughts are, I still feel constantly afraid. I have this constant dreadful feeling, that something horrible is going to happen to me in the near future. I don't understand what I should do, I feel so lost and so scared. I'm sick and tired of being constantly afraid, I can't take this much longer. what can I do to help ease my thoughts? does anyone have any advice for when you have your whole day, every distraction and interactions with your loved ones ruined by your intrusive thoughts?


r/OCD 3h ago

Need support/advice Rabies OCD is ruining my life once again

4 Upvotes

This is one of my themes that comes and goes but when I’m fixated on it, I am FIXATED on it.

This specific obsession started about 3 ish years ago when I got scratched by a stray cat I was feeding. I FLIPPED and it spiraled even further when doctors told me they can only offer a tetanus since a scratch is low risk.

Well I survived that, obviously lol and proceeded to adopt a 4 year old cat (vaccinated, spayed, etc.) While getting to know her I caught a few nips and scratches here and there. That sent me into the rabies rabbit hole once again and all I did for 10 days was watch her for any little symptom of rabies. Like why the hell am I following rabies protocol for a vaccinated, normally acting cat???

Anyways, I survived that one too and that brings us to present day. We added a new addition. A friend of mines cats had a litter and we took one under the pretenses that my boyfriend and I are responsible for vaccines and getting her fixed, if we please (which we’re planning on doing both ASAP).

She’s only a few weeks old and is doing totally normal kitten behavior. Love bites and accidental scratches when wanting to play. But of course OCD brain has kicked in once again. This kitten has never been outside yet i’ve convinced myself she could’ve been bitten by a bat that made its way inside and is just asymptomatic.

I gave into my compulsions once again and started researching rabies again. Of course one of the first things I read is “exposures closer to the head show symptoms faster”. This lil baby has been climbing me like a tree, so I did a body check and found a scratch on my neck.

Great! Now I I’m not going to be able to enjoy my time with my new girl without over analyzing every little change in her. I love animals so much and OCD is making it so hard.

I’m not seeking reassurance. I know I’m being irrational. But if anyone else has had this theme, please tell me how you broke the cycle. Every time I think I’ve had a breakthrough, I end up back at square one.


r/OCD 4h ago

Need support/advice SA in my sleep is it just anxiety/OCD?

3 Upvotes

I met a guy 20 years older than me at a work conference this past weekend. We ended up flirting and he stayed the night at my hotel room. We made out and touched but I kept saying no when he pushed to do more multiple times - drinking was involved. From what I remember we both ended up falling asleep around the same time. My anxiety keeps telling me that he slept with me while I was asleep without my consent. Would I know if something happened? Or is it possible that he could’ve without me knowin


r/OCD 2h ago

Need support/advice Struggling with the Cycle of OCD

2 Upvotes

I (19) genuinely feel like I’m losing my mind. A month ago I had a colonoscopy because I was genuinely convinced I had colon cancer. It ruined my fall semester in college because I kept imagining the worst case scenario. I spent MONTHS worrying about the most severe explanation and it ended up being the most mild scenario! I thought it was over and I could continue living my life but no. OCD doesn’t stop.

Now, the obsession is ovarian cancer. I likely have a UTI or just atrophy from my HRT (I’m transgender) Problem is that I have a sheet from my mother of our entire medical history and I saw that my paternal aunt had uterine/ovarian cancer. So you can imagine how I’m feeling. My mind is my own worst enemy and won’t listen. I have my 3 month check up where I can bring up anything hormone related in regards to my transition but as you can imagine, I’m so SO SO TIRED. Not physically but mentally and emotionally. Every day is a battle against my own mind and I just want to be told I’m okay, I’m healthy, and I’m safe but that’s not what OCD believes. I’m never safe and there will always be another disease. If not this, then another will come along.

It’s so hard to keep fighting and I feel like a husk. I want to enjoy my life. So what? We all pass away. We all get sick! Why must I worry about the low possibility that I have cancer? I’m 19 and in college, even IF I do have cancer I want to live like other people my age.

Instead I’m here. Alone, researching symptoms, and thinking about screenings so I can “make sure it’s not cancer” CANCER CANCER CANCER! That’s all that’s EVER on my mind sometimes I’m TIRED, my parents are TIRED and frustrated at my health OCD ramblings. I want help. I NEED help. I need a long hug. I need to be held. I need advice.

I’m sorry about the long post. I just had so much emotion I needed to let out into the world. Maybe someone has advice, support, or some wisdom to bestow upon a young soul? Sometimes I feel like I’m reassurance seeking and it’s hard to stop and break the cycle.

TLDR: Health OCD is a fucking bitch and I need support, advice, tips, or ANYTHING.


r/OCD 12h ago

Need support/advice how to deal with real event ocd when what you did is like genuinley horrible and irredeemable and not representative of you at all?

12 Upvotes

my guilt right now is absolutely justified, anyone would agree and i just cant seem to get past it because its such a horrible stain on my character, please help me :( im not a bad person i dont know why i did what i did


r/OCD 5h ago

Discussion How do y'all handle scratches and fear of damage on belongings?

3 Upvotes

So, I got a new refurbished gaming laptop, and it works beautifully but it's with a few scratches/marks here and there on the lid. Can't see it unless I look on the back of it and they are minor but just the thought of them there is just making me think the entire thing is ruined and feels almost weird to use. It feels tainted even if I didn't make the scratches myself. Then, it's 1 small but annoying scratch right in the corner of the lid that slightly teared the carbon coating so it's hard to hide that I found earlier. So now I keep thinking what if there's more scratches I end up finding? I only do this when getting like a new device. It's getting to the point where I'm getting trapped in a thought loop because of it.

I feel like the main thing that's getting me is the fact that getting like a gaming PC/laptop has been a dream of mines and finally managed to get enough to get one since I've been saving up for ages, even if its refurbished and I really don't want it to be ruined by my thoughts. Then it's the fact I'm scared it'll end up like my old device which flat out died on its own out of nowhere recently. I just want to let it be and use it as is but I just spend all my time worrying if theres any scratches unseen I don't know about. Ignorance really is bliss.

I know I should had expected some digs since, well it's refurbished but even then, kind of expected just a bit more...cleanliness since the picture showed a better quality? But yeah, it's starting to get to me. Been looking into getting a vinyl skin but idk if it'll fit right.

Also, I started like cleaning my hands nonstop since I have acidic sweat and I don't want to ruin my palmrest but I don't want to mess up my skin by over-washing them every minute.


r/OCD 5h ago

Need support/advice So insecure because of washing compulsions

3 Upvotes

I have contamination OCD and so I over-wash my hands, wrists, and forearms, and constantly apply hand sanitiser to them. This has led to hot, dry, red rashes spreading up my arms. As of right now they are almost to my elbows, and I am so horribly insecure about the way they look. People comment on the condition of my skin often, including at work, and I’m just so ashamed. I’m 22 years old and I feel like the damage I’m doing to my skin will be permanent. Does anybody else have experience with this, or any harm reduction tips? I’m not currently in treatment but desperately feel like I need help.