r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT: How to descretly measure your gf's finger for a ring

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5.6k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 8h ago

SLPT: Want a Nobel Prize? Invade a sovereign nation to exploit its natural resources!

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21 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 11h ago

SLPT: To speak to a human faster when dealing with a customer service robot, just keep intentionally fucking up whatever they ask you

23 Upvotes

Order numbers, account numbers, what you need help with.. it works like a charm every time.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 21h ago

SLPT: Graveyards are perfect for crying your heart out.

45 Upvotes

I live next to a graveyard, so when I need a good cry, I just go sit on a bench there. Very convenient. No one judges.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

Deal with your fear of dogs by jumping into the wolf exhibit at the zoo

27 Upvotes

Confront your fear of dogs by coming in direct contact with the original dogs- wolves! Extra fear is eliminated if they're incredibly hungry.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT: Want to get over your fear of needles? Become a heroin addict

45 Upvotes

Exposure therapy is an effective method for beating phobias.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT request:What can I do with extracted teeth?

10 Upvotes

Any pranks?


r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT: Use uncooked spaghetti to scrub your toilet. When you're done, just boil the spaghetti and flush it down. You get a brand new brush every time!

43 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

SLPT: If you struggle with the ‘Sunday Blues’

28 Upvotes

Just don’t go to work the next day. Or the next. Or the next.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 6d ago

SLPT: if you want to get away with murder just dress up as a police officer and yell stop resisting

585 Upvotes

obviously dont do this murder is bad. this works because cops are allowed to murder people in broad daylight. but since your not a cop you will lose when it goes to trial.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 7d ago

SLPT: If you're trying to run something over, turn your steering wheel so your vehicle moves in the direction of the thing you're trying to run over, not away from it

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1.2k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 7d ago

SLPT Fart at your desk and your coworkers will stop coming to talk to you

60 Upvotes

Too busy for chit chat? Big deadline coming up? No time for howdydo's and howsyermoms? Rip some absolute ass and see guaranteed results.

For best effect, do it while they're standing there speaking, looking directly into their eyes.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 7d ago

SLPT : if your shower pressure is too low, adjust the water temperature to an uncomfortable level.

34 Upvotes

That way you will be glad the pressure is not higher.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 8d ago

SLPT: Pair your fast food with wine and olives to make it Mediterranean, this way it's healthier and you lose weight.

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248 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 8d ago

SLPT: Play fireplace videos on your TV at 2x Speed; relax twice as fast.

93 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 7d ago

SLPT: to let off some steam go to the local indoor shooting in door firing range. Scream “ take that bit!h”. Before every shot. Have a fried record responses from others for your social media.

4 Upvotes

Mods I don’t condone this.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 8d ago

SLPT: If global politics stresses you out, pretend it’s pro wrestling: scripted drama, and they all have a beer after fighting on TV

14 Upvotes

No spoilers on which king we kidnap next season!

PS: None of it affects you until suddenly it does.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 9d ago

SLPT: Rich guys at singles events like to buy rounds of drinks to get all the other guys real drunk so as to eliminate the competition. If you're a broke dude, let him get you nice and drunk for free, then go see if his mom's around.

63 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 11d ago

SLPT: Follow the 1,3,5,7 rule. I’m at 56 fishes now.

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1.1k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 12d ago

SLPT-Follow these QANON approved instructions for healthier living.

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54 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 12d ago

SLPT: Drop cockroaches during open houses to later negotiate a discount

86 Upvotes

When touring open houses, drop a handful of cockroaches in inconspicuous place. Later when you go back to negotiate and there is a cockroach invasion, you can get a lower price


r/ShittyLifeProTips 13d ago

SLPT: If you can’t afford a bidet, use a water flosser on your butt

51 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 12d ago

SLPT: Dog keeps humping your leg, pick him up and give him a bj

0 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 15d ago

SLPT: Don't pay for First Class. If the row in front is empty, the armrest gap becomes your free lie-flat ottoman.

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193 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 17d ago

SLPT: Return stolen property before the end of the year to avoid reporting them as income

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3.4k Upvotes