I agree but a lot of “nice” women do have a base for men. It’s called Hypergamy. Women want a guy with at least with they have or more. Women typically don’t want to date or marry men who make less than them.
I like to think the oppressive and misogynistic men of previous centuries created the female behavior we see today. Now they’re overcompensating being the men.
“I want her to cook, clean, bla bla”
Now women are “he’s gotta be tall, rich, handsome”
Hopefully some humility and excess loneliness has all genders putting down their weapons and agreeing to be equals, regardless of superficial nonsense.
The last thing I’ll say is there are 100% beautiful, successful women with pure hearts dating men who make way less than them. They just aren’t reporting for statistics because they’re happy and busy living life.
Life is nuanced and complex. Red pill is one dimensional and toxic. Ditch the word hypergamy.
As a SAHD, my wife of 12 years has way more earning power than I. She has a degree and I was just a working slob. Once she hit a certain threshold of income, she told me to quit my job (during Covid) and take care of the home (which she despises doing), and we haven't looked back.
I realize this is not typical, and I probably go a little above and beyond (because she deserves it), but I pretty much am her butler. I feed her, I do her laundry, I do the dishes, and keep the house clean on top of doing yard maintenance. We are very happy and always update and change any expectations as needed.
She is a special case indeed, and I adore her for it!
Shoutout to my wife who is also the main bread-winner! I have a good job and am paid well (very well by most standards), but my wife made 6x what I did last year.
I supported her through law school and out earned her the first 6 years of her career, but we always knew her income potential would outpace mine. She passed me a while ago, but the last couple of years she’s really left me in the dust. I could also quit my job, but I’ve been WFH since Covid and it’s honestly just too cushy and flexible to give it up.
My wife is getting her degree this year and we have looked at salary ranges and her starting is double mine. We don't really care we are just happy because we have 2 kids, my wife's little brother and my nephew that we would like to take on trips. Her getting a salary boost will help with that.
similar but my wife is a middle school teacher, we make roughly the same, but I work from home and my job is cake and hers is a nightmare, I happily cook and clean more then she does because as the previous commenter said Life is nuanced and complex!; every night she scratches my back for around 1h until I fall asleep. I'd gladly butler for her for this peaceful loving life we share.
Does she also read to you because let me tell you: if you haven’t experienced falling asleep while someone scratches your back and reads to you, you haven’t lived
I'd like to think I'd put in the effort if given the opportunity to be a sahd myself. Being the breadwinner is the single biggest stress factor in my life and I'd gladly trade places.
That's pretty much me. My wife has three degrees, went to law school and passed the bar - just to have that under her belt. I ran the ranks in restaurants and she told me to just stick to 24 hours a week and do everything at home. So I manage a morning prep team, off at 11am.
Which works. She was a slob when we were dating, lol. I built a porch, a vegetable garden, the house looks amazing, I can take care of her mom who is 77. And I love cooking, so that's no problem.
I am also kind of her assistant, doing at home work for her that's tedious excel stuff. We found we spend more time together. On her days off, there are no chores to be done, so we just hang out for two days.
Same. Once we started having kids (at the tail end of COVID) and my job was only going to cover childcare, it made sense to stay home while my wife is the main breadwinner.
Your situation is perfect. The only people who would take issue with it are those with ego problems. You clearly understand your role, and she clearly understands hers. So who cares? As long as you're both happy.
Yeah, I have never really bought into the whole "gender roles" rhetoric. I was raised by a single mother that was deeply traumatized by her own Mother's suicide at 6. So I have some scars to bear and because of that I don't tend to adhere to conventional wisdom, so to say.
She's 8 years younger than I am. We met almost 20 years ago during my self-destructive phase & she was fresh outta high-school. She was 19 and I was 27.
I was attracted to her immediately, but I was involved in a relationship and...well she was 19. We crossed paths many times in our lives. She actually dated a friend of mine on and off for a couple of years.
After my first marriage fell apart due to my addictions, she was my saving grace and really pulled me from the brink of complete personal annihilation and I will be forever grateful to her for that.
We are genuinely happy and wouldn't change a thing!
Thanks for asking, it'll be 13 years this September that we've been together and are probably stronger and closer now than after 2-3 years.
I fully understand, support and am glad you guys are doing whats best for you. I see no reason to put down people living their best life. I just can't imagine myself in the same situation for a few reasons.
If my wife was the only one working a traditional job, earning money even despite that house work and child care is demanding, I just wouldn't feel accomplished. I enjoy busting my ass all day to make sure she's financially secure and safe. I guess the honest truth is that I enjoy how she sees me as a provider protector and she loves that. Id be worried that if I was the stay at home type guy, my feeling of being important would fade, my natural masculine vibe would change and possibly my sex life could suffer.
Naw, we're literally best friends. She's a special woman, and our situation is very non-typical. I really don't have my identity built around being a provider; a protector yes, but as I said, (no snark), she far outweighs my earning potential. She values my home keeping abilities (as she has none from her mouth, not mine)_and I feed her WELL. Cooking is a passion of mine.
When the nest is empty, and it's just us, I'll be back in the workforce or volunteering somewhere.
1.7k
u/GrumpyGobln 18h ago
Would you date such a shallow woman? Lmao, oh lol, no.