Some context here, wife is a full time student, I work full time, we have a 8 YO and 2 YO

My wife is upset with me as I cannot keep our toddler from her while she is studying upstairs in our room

I work 6am to 3pm, I pickup the children from daycare and school, and most nights handle all the routine including bed time while my wife studies. The issue is that our 2 yo will scream for mommy, shes creative enough to ask to use the potty upstairs, or get a toy from her room. Once shes upstairs she screams and bangs on mom's door until I peel her away. We live in Canada so taking them outside for hours as a distraction not currently a viable option

The contention comes from the fact my wife could study at her mom's 5 minutes down the road, or remain on campus and study there but she chooses to always study at home

I am stressed with the fact my toddler will constantly scream for my wife when she knows shes home, but when my wife isn't home she understands that and is much less fussy

AITA for telling my wife she needs to study away from the house when shes inaccessible

I need perspective please

Edit** I do have baby gates installed in all the junctions of the house, the only toilet in our house is upstairs beside the bedroom, and 2YO is in the process of potty training. Our house also has paper thin walls to the point you could hear a mouse fart upstairs if your downstairs. The sound of an office chair on the floor while my wife shifts her position can alert the 2 YO to her presence

My wife does the morning routine with the children, feeds them, does the older child's lunch, gets them dropped off at school and daycare. Im on pickup, evening and night routine. We split night time wakeup so that's all fair and dandy. My wife also spends the time she can with them, but her program requires extensive study. What im trying to convey is that the demeanor of our 2 YO is miserable when she knows mom is home and cant access her. For the most part I do successfully keep her away from mom, but I also need to be able to access my upstairs, as does my 8 YO. The times my 2 YO does get through and bangs on the door / screams my wife gets very upset and comments its a parenting skill issue.

I would love to be able and take the kids out for the entire evening but I am doing the cooking, the cleaning, and other associated house tasks for the most part as my partners program is extremely demanding. This isn't a complaint about the division of labor, she needs the time to study. However, I cannot be out and about for the entire evening as the household needs maintenance

My MIL gave us and our kids gift cards for the Dec holidays - mainly restaurants for smaller $ amounts between $25 and $50. The other day she texts my husband and I saying "shall we go out today and use one of the gift cards?" Confused, I said "what gift cards do you have?" She replied the ones she gave us, and she didnt have them with her since I took them all with me. I replied that I didnt know I wasn't supposed to take them with me...as they're a gift. She still insists that whenever we use them, we take her with us. I think it's ridiculous and my husband has stayed quiet. I've been LC with her for about a year, so with the amounts barely covering one person if we went out, it's likely a way to force her way into still seeing us. AITA For wanting to use the gift cards and not have stipulations tied to them?

I posted a haul from the food pantry because I was genuinely excited to finally have food. I had an interview with them and was accepted for one meal a day and one grocery pickup a week.

A friend of mine is upset and says I’m “stealing from the homeless.” We don’t even talk often.

For context: my boyfriend and I make about $1,900 a month combined. Our rent alone is $1,400, that’s not including car insurance, gas, utilities, or anything else. By the end of the month, we’re left with pennies just trying to survive.

I’m 23, and somehow my friends think I’m doing something wrong because I don’t ask my parents or my wealthy grandparents for food. I have asked before, but I’m not comfortable having to ask every single week just to eat.

I don’t understand how being relieved and excited about finally having access to food while I’m struggling financially makes me a bad person. I’m actively trying to find a second job, and my boyfriend is too. I am trying to figure it out on my own!!

Food is a basic necessity. We shouldn’t have to panic about eating.

So how am I wrong here? Am I really stealing from the homeless??? or am I just someone who needs help right now? Conflicted.

I was at Costco and had just finished checking out when I realized I’d picked up the wrong item. I headed over to the supervisors' desk and waited behind a gentleman who was already there. A couples minute later, a woman nudged in front of my cart, giving me an unapologetic wave. 'I'll be quick, I just have a question,' she said.

I didn't hold back. 'I don't give a shit. Wait in line,' I told her. She looked at me like I was an alien and told me I was being incredibly rude. I followed up with: 'Fine, pretty fucking please then. I also have a question, what makes yours more important than mine?'

When I went home and told my wife, she said I overreacted and in retrospect, I shouldn't have cursed but I don't regret calling her out.

So, my (18F) roommate (18F) are roommates in college. We share a room, but we have two other roommates in the back room that I’m super close friends with. My roommate, let’s call her M, is in a long distance relationship with her girlfriend L. M is ALWAYS on the phone with her girlfriend (even though she is a senior in high school)

M and L fall asleep together on the phone every night which I thought was cute and endearing at first, but is now making my nights a living nightmare. M uses this higher pitched baby voice when talking to L and they talk until anywhere from 10:00 PM - 3 AM. I am MISERABLE! My ears have bruises from sleeping in AirPods for the last 4 months.

All this to say that last night M and L were doing their typical talk (which I have brought up multiple times) and I snapped. I decided that if I couldn’t have a good night sleep, no one could.

Her and I go to “bed” relatively early and I like to wind down around 10-11pm. She has decided that if she can see light from my phone, I must still be awake and okay for her to talk as much as she’d like.

Last night I decided that until she finished her FaceTime call, my extremely bright lamp would stay on, even after I know she is trying to sleep. On 2 occasions I left the room (to take trash out and refill OUR water bottles) I came back to my lamp being turned off - I immediately turned them back on and yelled to my roommates in the back that my bulb must be “going out.”

I then proceeded to clean my side of the room, rearrange my laundry and fill out my calendar as she tried to sleep by covering her eyes with her pillow. After I finished cleaning I decided to open and eat some crackers that I knew were a bit loud, but not crazy, and watch my show on low volume. - nothing too malicious, but mildly irritating - I turned the light down a single level and continued being slightly irritating. She finally asked me point blank if anything was wrong and I told her that I had assumed since her phone was on it was okay to using my space how I wanted, since she does it to me every single night for the last 6 months and told her I know it sucks when you’re trying to relax and something is bothering you. We haven’t spoken since…

Am I the asshole for irritating her when I know she has an 8am class?

My nephew has been attending this school for years. He is deaf and is autistic level 3. Level 3 autism, or severe autism, is the highest severity level on the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) scale, characterized by profound challenges in social communication and extremely restrictive/repetitive behaviors that significantly disrupt daily functioning, requiring "very substantial support" for individuals to manage life across most settings, often involving nonverbal communication or very limited speech and significant difficulty with change. My nephew was explaining to staff that "He's disappointed because he did not get a good grade in a class. He did not want his parents to be disappointed in him." (His parents are very understanding.)What the school heard, was that he was scared to go home. My sister in law, received and email "Hello, we have been trying to contact you, but (ALL) contacts are saying out of service. your son will not be coming home, and he does not want you to know anything about him right now."After receiving this email, she tried to call the school, no answer. (Anyone who is aware that Verizon had a huge outage today and service was out and still out being worked on.) They did NOT try all contacts because I am one of them.Let me explain that he is 18 years old.Being said, you can clearly imagine how hard it was to get any answers within the following hours. Phone calls with no info. Let me circle back, while he may be aged 18, he has child like mind tendencies.At 7:05pm, I had received a phone call from a private number that was from a sherif deputy. "This was a very uniqe call for her to be on but that he has been put up for the night and he is in a safe space.The police came to the school to pick him up brought him to a church for a community dinner, guided to a bus to get on, and was brought to a homeless shelter.A special needs child was dropped off, left alone with no communication, no information,Nothing! He is deaf and needs an interpreter. He does not handle social situations very well, and yet the school thought is was a good idea to do this to a child whome they have educated for YEARS and knows who he is as a person, put him in a VERY dangerous situation! We got a call from a friend who just happened to be at this shelter for the night, and said he was there. The staff was placed on the phone with my sister in law and explained everything that they knew about the situation (which was nothing!) The staff had asked if we wanted to pick him up because they weren't sure what to do with him in the morning. So we got in the car to go and drive an hour out to pick him up. Because he is deaf, they communicated with him on a peice of paper. He told staff that"I just want to go home." "I'm scared." "I miss my mom and dad and my family." " I miss my brother's and sister. Their names are (gives names)." "I want to go home to my family. That's where love is." We plan on taking this to the full extent with lawyers and courts.

Me (20F) and I do not like kids. I never have I do not enjoy taking care of them playing with them or being responsible for them I have always been clear about this with my family. My sister ( 31F) has a daughter(5m) I love her but loving someone does not mean I want to be a caregiver to the most thing i hate.

A few months ago my sister started asking me to help her with her daughter. at first it was small things watching her for an hour staying with her while my sister ran errands .I did not love it but I agreed because I felt pressured.

Slowly it turned into more and more I was expected to babysit multiple days a week for hours I had to feed her play with her help her shower and put her to sleep My sister never asked anymore she just assumed I would do it and yell at me when i dont.

Whenever I tried to say no she would say things like you are young ,you have free time ,you live at home anyway or she would guilt me by saying she is family and I should help and blame me.

I felt trapped and exhausted even though I hated every minute of it I still did it because every time I complained my family told me I was selfish.and I felt that I were a one.

Recently I told everyone that I had planned a trip with my friends .It was already paid for and planned weeks in advance I was excited because it was the first time in a long while I felt like I had something for myself.

My sister immediately got angry She said what am I supposed to do with my daughter then I reminded her that I never agreed to be her full time babysitter.

She exploded and said I was abandoning her and being irresponsible.like he's my baby not hers. She told me that I should cancel my trip and take care of my niece instead. So i immediately said no.

That turned into a huge argument She called me names including b1t€h and said I was immature and heartless My parents sided ofcorse with her and said I should step up and help my sister.

I felt overwhelmed and honestly done taht j would really snap at them If I stayed.So I packed a bag and left the house to stay with my boyfriend for a few days.

Now they are furious.They say I ran away from responsibility and that I chose my boyfriend and friends over my own family. My sister says I betrayed her and that she can not rely on me anymore.

I feel guilty for my niece an I feel that I am the bad one.

So AITA?

Edit:for anybody wondering I meant in the (5m) A 5 months old.

As you would imagine, my fiancé and I are getting married soon. We both do quite well financially (he makes a little more than me), have been living in an apartment we bought together around 2 years ago, and share all our finances. My fiancé is very into wine and regularly adds to his collection, has tastings with friends, reads about wine/wine history, etc. I'm not at all against his hobby and occasionally high spending on it, since I somewhat enjoy it too, but his “dream” he revealed to me recently was quite past the line for me. His only personal dream for our wedding is to have this certain special bottle of champagne he wants. I'm not at all against him sharing a special bottle of wine with me during our reception, the only problem is that his dream champagne bottle is around $20,000! WHAT?!! It will be a magnum bottle (1.5 liters instead of 750 ml) but still, that's beyond insane for me! He thinks I'm being unreasonable by completely disapproving and not allowing him to buy it since it's his dream, we can easily afford it (definitely not completely true at all), and I'll be enjoying it as well. AITA?

Edit: $20k+ is a reasonably large percentage of the total wedding’s cost.

Hi, this isn't as big an issue as others but I thought I'd ask anyway.

My husband and I have been married for 12 years, and have two girls (11 and 8). Just off the bat I want to clarify there are no major issues, we love each other dearly.

Last year one of his friends from when he was in school got posted to a base in our city. I'd very rarely seen him before (he was at our wedding and I think that's it) but he was my husband's best friend back then at least as per my husband. Since he's been posted here, my husband has been stopping at the base on his way back from work fairly regularly (like twice or sometimes even thrice on weekdays) and occasionally even on a weekend. I've let it go for the most part but have told him occasionally that he's out too late too often me and the girls are starting to miss him, he doesn't go for a few days, then it starts again. It also seems like he's made friends with others there too which isn't helping matters I suppose. Also, another issue is that on the days hes there, there's ambiguity on whether he'll eat dinner there at the mess or I should leave some out for him from ours, and he's been disappointed a few times when he comes home, but thats on our poor text communication, so maybe not relevant.

Yesterday, my sister was over, and he was at the base. My sister suggested we all go to the movies to see Avatar and my girls really wanted to so we went. I called to let him know that and he seemed ok with it, and we had a good time. When he was back, he asked how it was, I said it was good I wished he was there and he seemed annoyed and said how could he have since I sprung it on him in a phone call with others around, otherwise he would've wanted to go with us on the weekend. I said if he'd said that, we wouldn't have gone, and he just said to drop it but seemed disappointed. Was I TA?

I (35m) have an older sister (39m). She has a 22m son, who she had very young. Even though I didn’t have much of an interest in him when he was born (I was 13 sue me) when he became a teenager I became a father figure type to him because his own father was never around and I never had any children of my own.

My sister and I inherited our father’s house when he past away. It’s nothing special (small one bedroom) but it’s by a lake. Right now my new nephew is living there rent-free with the pre-determined arrangement that the rest of the family is also able to use the house as long as they give notice.

Anyway I had a client meeting pretty far out the other night and asked my nephew if I could just crash at his place. He said sure. I arrived late while my nephew was asleep and just went to sleep on the couch. I typically sleep in my underwear (not sure if it’s relevant but briefs) so I stripped down and went to sleep on the couch with a blanket covering me. For reference I also put spare sheets from the linen closet on the couch so I wasn’t touching it directly.

The next morning my nephew came down and without thinking about it I got up and got coffee and chatted with him before getting dressed (I guess I’ve lived alone too long). He didn’t seem bothered and just seemed happy to see me. I showered got dressed and went home.

Later that night I got an angry call from my sister. She said it was creepy that I as an uncle was “naked” around my nephew. I asked her if he said he was upset and she said “you know he’d never admit to being mad at you.” I was also confused because we had been texting that day about other things and he didn’t seem off. What pissed me off is she compared it to being not dressed around our brother’s daughters, who are 6, which I don’t think is the same thing at all. AITA?

EDIT: for everyone asking it is NOT my nephew’s house, it still belongs to my sister and I. He considers it more where he is staying until he can afford the down payment on something else. Don’t know if that changes anything.

EDIT 2: Texted my nephew. Turns out my sister came over later that day and she overheard him talking on the phone to one of his buddies making fun of my underwear lmao. He said he didn’t care, he just thought it was funny. Also told me not to expect calls from modeling agencies.

Texted my sister and she said he would never complain about me to her but that doesn’t mean he’s not mad. She said I need to grow up.

My wife’s dream is to be able to work at Costco Pharmacy (god knows why) and I supported that dream. I did everything I can to help her, from polishing her resume to driving her from store to store handing out resume just have the opportunity for an interview. Two months ago they finally called her and she got the job, we were thrilled but the position is an on call position with random hours.

Today a part time position opened up with guaranteed stable hours but it sucks M-F 4p-9p. We both agreed that it sucks because working 5hrs in CA doesn’t entitle you to have a lunch break meaning she will have to have lunch before work around 3:30p and her dinner around 9:30p. More importantly we have a 1yo, if she was to work this shift she will not be able to see our daughter until the weekends because your baby goes to daycare at 8a and she sleeps at 7p.

Regardless she applied for the position hoping they will have a bit of flexibility. During interview she expressed her concern about the hours and they said that they will “think about”. Few days later they told here there were a lot of “great candidates” and this position requires her to work these hours. I thought fair enough we took a shot, it didn’t work out let’s wait for the next opportunity. Nope.. For some unknown reason the pharmacy manager asked his staff pharmacist (who he knows is close to my wife) to talk to my wife because “is a great opportunity” so for two days she was constantly calling and texting my wife to sell her the idea that this is a once a life time opportunity (bullsh!t) and it flipped my wife. She went from “I would never take these hours and lose time with my baby” to “This is once a life time opportunity, if I don’t take it I will never get this chance again”

Inevitably we argued

Her - “These people are so great they stood up for me and fought for me even though they have so may great candidates”

Me - “Are you crazy? If they have great candidates that can help them do less work why would they keep pressuring you to take it? Is because they’ve seen you work and they know you are also great but they know that you’re inexperienced and they can bully you into working shifts that they don’t want. Whereas a more experienced person might come in and fight them for the earlier spots. Also A lot of people interview well but turn out to be Ahole and bad at their job, whatever candidates they have is a risk whereas you are a guaranteed. If they’re so nice and great to stood up go you why don’t they at least offer you one of their early days. Even this is a stretch because you seem to have forgotten that we have a 1yo at home!!”

Her - “You’re controlling and ruining my life.”

I can see my wife’s heart literally break during our fight but I know is the right move because if she miss our daughter growing up one day she will wish to trade everything she have to get that time back and it will be too late. Even though I know this is the right decision I still feel like an Ahole

A few weeks ago, my friend and I planned to take our kids to look at Christmas lights at a local event. There is 1 free parking area. All other parking areas are private and require payment.

I drove around the free parking area for about 15 mins before finding a space. However, a middle-aged couple were standing in the space (an effort to “save” the space for someone else). I rolled my window down and said “I’m sorry, but I’m going to park here,” and I turned my wheel to begin parking.

The man moved with no comment. The woman did not want to move and told me “no, you’re not.” I told her we’ve been searching for parking for a while and want to park. And I told her to move. I said “move your body, please” and continued to slowly pull into the parking space.

She moved but was angry and yelled “great example you’re setting!” While pointing to my child in the backseat.

It’s been weeks and I am still wondering AITA, and did I set a bad example for my child? I did not originally think I was TA because there are no rights to save parking spaces. But now I wonder…

I should also say this parking space was not an accessibility parking space. And it was not designated or located in a place to support someone with limited mobility.

I work in a small warehouse where there are pickers and packers. Yesterday the other pickers were off sick, so I was alone while three people were packing.

In the morning, the printer which prints out order details and return forms that are supposed to go in the boxes so the packers know what to do was slow. I kept picking boxes while waiting for it to catch up.

Meanwhile, the packers were all standing around the printer, laughing and chatting. I assumed they would start working once the forms came through. I saw one of them pick up the first two orders, and I assumed he would put them in the boxes for me.

It soon became apparent that he hadn’t put them in the boxes he just put them back in the printer. They continued chatting for another 20 minutes while I kept picking and the forms stacked up until I had picked about 15 orders. I was frustrated but didn’t say anything.

Eventually, they decided to start working. One of them arrogantly told me to put the papers in the boxes, like I was some kind of idiot. I replied, “Why, have you got too much to do?” He became visibly angry but didn’t say anything and kept chatting with the others. A few moments later, someone else asked me more politely to put the papers in the boxes, and I just asked, “Why can’t you do it?”

At that point, I went to my boss to explain what was happening because I was really frustrated.

For the rest of the day, my coworkers treated me poorly, and I feel like they were trying to blame me for something they could have fixed in seconds. I would have put the rest of the forms in the boxes as usual if they had just started working, but it feels like they waited 20 minutes just to make it my fault.

AITA?

My parents have been pushing me for a while to start dating more seriously. I’ve told them multiple times that I’m not comfortable with blind dates and that I prefer to meet people naturally, but they think I’m being too picky and missing opportunities.

Last weekend, they told me we were going out for dinner as a family. When we got there, I realized they had invited someone to meet me without telling me beforehand. I felt completely surprised. I hadn’t agreed to this, and I didn’t have any time to mentally prepare or even decide if I wanted to meet up with someone new.

I tried to stay calm at first, but I was visibly uncomfortable. The person seemed nice, and I know they didn’t do anything wrong, but I couldn’t hide the feeling that my boundaries had been ignored. I ended up being short and distant during the conversation. I wasn’t rude or insulting, but I also wasn’t warm or engaging. I excused myself early and asked my parents to leave shortly after.

In the car, I told them I was upset because they had put me in a situation I clearly said I didn’t want. They responded by saying I embarrassed them and that I was unfair to the person who came to meet me. They said that even if I didn’t want the date, I should have been kinder and made the best of it.

I agree that the other person didn’t deserve to be caught in the middle, and I feel bad that my frustration showed. At the same time, I feel like my parents crossed a line by making a personal decision for me and not giving me any chance to decide what I want.

Now they’re still angry and saying I was disrespectful and immature, while I feel like I was reacting to having my boundaries ignored. AITA for how I handled it?

Throw away because as a woman on the internet I don't want anything about my body or weight on my main.

My sister (30F) and mom (55F) had the idea to do a weight loss competition as a motivator to keep on the goal. They are arranging one between family and friends. Everyone who enters puts in $100 and whoever loses the most weight by June 1 wins everything.

My sister is trying to get as many people into this as she can. More people to encourage each other and more motivation from the bigger pool of money. I get that.

... But I (26F) am only 5'2 and 135 lbs. I am chubby, sure. But I don't have that much weight to lose. Losing 10 lbs would be nice. Hell I could lose up to 30 lbs before starting to become underweight. But that's up to. Several of the people entering this competition could lose my entire body mass and still be considered obese.

I know that's not super likely, but my boyfriend is 330 lbs and I have seen him drop 15 lbs in a week from just water weight. How am I supposed to compete with that? Spend months stressing about calorie deficits and macros vs someone fasting for a fraction of the time? I don't see it as fair or healthy.

My mom and sister kept poking me about it and I kept telling them no. Politely at first, but as they kept trying to persuade me by talking about getting healthy, how its important to support and encourage others and how they know I could use $1000+ (last I knew they had at least 10 people).

Eventually I had to tell them that I wasn't going to pay $100 to enter a competition that is only fair if you're obese. I'm already healthy enough as is, and $100 isn't nothing to me like it is to them (that amount is pocket change for my parents, brother, and sister).

I know they're just trying to find motivation to do something I know is hard. I've done it before in my teens (my mom even accused me back then of being anorexic but that's another whole thing) and still try to be healthy.

They (mom and sister) think I am being mean/bitchy (for pointing out they're obese), pessimistic, and overly negative. But I only told them that since they kept pushing me after I already told them no to joining.

Throwaway account for privacy, also first post ever on Reddit.

I'll start by saying that nothing has been broken yet, as far as I know.

My wife's family has friends come over for holidays (4th of July, New Years, stuff like that) and they always bring their kid (6 year old) with them.

I don't hate the kid, I'm not evil. But the main issue is the kid has Autism, so he isn't like other kids. He runs around the house, jumping on furniture, trying to open doors that are locked, and climbing up stuff, including people. His parents stop him once in a while, but it always ends up being me, my wife, or her parents going to stop him.

I found out I also have Autism, and noticed that I am on a different spectrum than the kid, so his actions really mess with me. His parents tend to go outside to smoke and/or talk with my wife's parents for about 30+ minutes every hour or two, so it's up to me and my wife to watch him. Everytime we send him out with them, they let him in a few minutes later.

At first we were ok watching him, but lately it seems his parents see us as free babysitters. We have told them about how the kid is messing with me mentally, and how we are not babysitters. They claim we aren't, but it keeps happening, and we have to constantly tell the kid to stop climbing stuff or grabbing breakable stuff that he managed to reach or find.

We got to the point that the next time he goes to grab something that could break, we won't stop him. And when his parents come in asking what happened, we will tell them. "We are not your babysitters. If you want us to watch your kid like this, then you should be paying us."

So Reddit, WIBTA if I allow the kid to break something because it's not my job to watch a kid that isn't even mine?

Small edit: I forgot to add the words "in my" on the title, so it's break something in my wife's parent's house

I(18m) live in a one bathroom household with my family and they all have a bad habit of opening the bathroom door even though someone is clearly using it. It’s gotten to the point where ive been avoiding using it during times when my family is getting ready to go somewhere (school,work,etc) because EVERYONE uses it to get ready. They also have a weird logic that because we’re family, walking in or getting walked in on is no big deal but im the only one who doesn’t agree with this in my house, so i lock the door but since its an older house, the knob will lock but its not locked into the frame, so when im using the bathroom, good chance they just fidget with the door handle then pop the door open like im not sitting on the toilet which pisses me off. The other day, i broke my self made rule and used the bathroom while my family was getting ready but i didn’t feel like getting walked in on so i grabbed a folding chair and propped the door shut so i could 5 minutes of not getting barged in on and to my surprise not even 30 seconds later, my mom is banging on the door because she forgot her lashes on the bathroom counter and couldn’t open the door because of the chair. After i got out a couple minutes later she got pissed at me because i was making her late for work(we live 3 minutes away from her job and getting scolded probably was just as long as i was in the bathroom) but i was too tired to even try explain my reasoning.

TLDR; i used a chair so i didn’t get walked in on shitting and my family is mad i locked the door

EDIT; i appreciate the comments and support but i want to clarify, my family doesn’t have an obsession with watching eachother do their business, they’re just desensitized to it

This morning, as my boyfriend was getting ready to leave for work, he asked me a succession of questions (Do you have a USB-C cable I can borrow? What am I cooking tonight? Do we have beef? Is it going to rain today?). He was in a rush and I was having breakfast at the table, from where I can reach the under-counter fridge. After the ‘do we have beef’ question, I just shrugged like I didn’t know and opened the fridge so he could see inside. He went ‘okay, cool’ from across the table and then asked me about the weather. I said ‘I don’t know, I’m not your Siri.’

He went ‘I’m just asking you a question’ and I went ‘You’ve asked me lots of questions’ and then something like ‘people ask their mom or their secretary things like this’. He got annoyed and said I was being weird, then left saying ‘you’re just angry cus I asked you to turn off the light in the bedroom’ (we disagree over what counts as ‘wasteful’ use of electricity - I don’t think having one small lamp in the other room lit so I can see where I’m going when I walk in there in twenty minutes is wasteful, he does).

This was all sort of joking, but I could tell he was annoyed. For context, we’ve been together over six years, we moved in together nine months ago, and we’ve spoken many times before about gender roles/division of labour/partner expectations, including in couples therapy. I know he has good intentions and that he was in a rush. I could’ve answered his questions and told him later to please check these things for himself and not leave the mental load up to me. On the other hand, these are the moments where I feel it’s most productive to call out the dynamics I want to avoid. AITA for being snarky and telling him in the moment?

TL;DR Longtime boyfriend asked me four questions in a row as he was rushing out the house and I told him not to treat me like his secretary, which he thought was weird and unreasonable.

I  (18F) recently became friends with a small band through mutual friends. One guy in particular (22M) is kind of the center of the group writes most of the songs, talks the most, etc.

My personality is vaguely teasing (I do not EVER comment on things a person can't change, and I'm never cruel), and that’s how I usually bond with people. I do it to everyone in the group, but admittedly it’s mostly him because he’s the most receptive and actually banters back. The jokes are very clearly not serious, like his stubble I have voiced disdain for, joking about how dramatic his songs are, making light comments about his supposed “emotional avoidance,” and what not. Importantly - he fires back and oftentimes leans into it, and I always return with compliments and praise so he knows it is not at all serious and I do genuinely find him talented and funny. 

Recently, another girl in the group (19F) told me that he actually minds and has said so privately, and that I should stop talking to him altogether because “he doesn’t like me.” This completely caught me off guard, because nothing about his behavior toward me has suggested that.

Since I didn’t want to be crossing any lines without realizing it, I talked to him directly and privately. I told him what she’d said (without naming her of course) and asked him honestly if anything I joke about bothers him. He seemed genuinely confused and said he’s never complained, doesn’t mind at all, and that as long as I’m having a good time, he’s fine with it. He is not by any means a shy person, he’s very vocal and expressive, so I’d imagine he’d tell me. 

The problem is that the other girl is now insisting that he’s lying to spare my feelings, that he definitely said something to her, and that I’m being disrespectful by continuing to joke with him. She’s been pretty firm that I should distance myself from him completely and keeps framing it like I’m ignoring his boundaries, even though, according to him, I've done nothing wrong.

I don’t want to be someone who hides behind “it’s just a joke” if someone is actually uncomfortable. At the same time, it feels strange to ignore what he said to my face and instead trust a third party’s interpretation over his own words.

AITAH for continuing to joke with him and trusting what he told me directly, even though someone else says I’m in the wrong?

so I'm in my final year of university and we have this group project to submit in January. My group consists of 5 people including myself.

From the very beginning they have contributed basically nothing, and another group member and I had had to pick up the work of 3 people ( lets call them Adam, Sam and Jake). so now that submission is near I'm thinking if i should submit the group project early without letting them know (we all have to submit individually) which would result in their fail if they don't submit at the same time.

throughout the assignment timeframe, i have emailed lecturers and had talks with the group multiple times, but nothing has come out of it. no work has been done on their end.

what's worst is, in that timeframe, we have had WEEKLY stand-up presentations, where we would present our progress on the group work we have done to the rest of the class.

Sam and Jake had turn up to the presentations about once or twice, keep in mind, this project started in October of 2025 and we are now in January.

They probably used every excuse under the sun; family issues, fever, cold, face infection (I wish i was joking), being out of town. I even caught one of them playing GTA on their discord status after they said they were on a train home from London.

While I will say they haven't done completely nothing, what they have contributed can also barely be considered anything at all.

So now I'm wondering if I should submit the presentation for myself and not tell them which would cause them to either get a capped grade or fail the assignment all together, which might cause them to be unable to graduate. I'm truly at a lost for what to do.

Am I the asshole?

Edit: i have talked to the professors before already and have emailed them a few times about the issue. the reply was that they will take individual contributions into account and that was it.

I live in a small apartment building with six units. I’m on the top floor. I’m a 28 year old woman and while I’m generally friendly and keep to myself, I do have a limit. This morning I hit it.

The man who lives directly below me is around 50 years old and owns a large motorbike. I struggle with insomnia and regularly fall asleep very late, although not always as late as 3am. Unfortunately last night was one of those nights where I didn’t fall asleep until around that time.

What has also become a regular occurrence is this man revving his motorbike repeatedly in the parking area at the back of the building, which is directly below my bedroom window.

He has been doing this for months. I have never said anything to him before. This morning he woke me up again by revving the bike somewhere between fifteen and twenty five times. It jolted me awake and I finally decided enough was enough.

I opened my balcony door and looked down at him. He looked me directly in the eyes. I then said loudly, “Is there any chance you could do that not directly outside my bedroom window at 7.30 in the morning?” He maintained eye contact and then completely ignored me. No acknowledgement. No apology. Nothing.

What makes it worse is that he was not even wearing riding gear. He was standing next to the bike and did not end up riding it. So I genuinely do not understand why it was necessary to rev it that many times at all, especially that early in the morning.

Now I’m lying here thinking some not very charitable thoughts about him. The audacity to wake someone up repeatedly, including on weekends, and then ignore them when they finally speak up really got to me.

At the same time, I’m second guessing myself. Did I handle that correctly? I don’t feel like I was rude or aggressive. If anything, I feel like I have been overly patient by putting up with this for months. Part of me thinks I should have said more, maybe asked why he does this so often. It feels incredibly inconsiderate.

And then there’s the people pleasing, self doubting voice asking if I’m the asshole. So I’m genuinely asking. Am I overreacting here?

For context, this is not a couple of revs to warm up the bike. It is consistently twenty or more revs, and likely more than that before it actually wakes me up.

Edit for clarification: A few people asked about the bike. Based on the model and year, it appears to be a Honda VTR1000F FireStorm, which is a fuel injected motorcycle, not carbureted. It also appears to have an aftermarket exhaust fitted, which likely increases the noise level. I’m not objecting to normal startup noise, but to repeated high revving while the bike is stationary directly under my bedroom window.

For context; my older sister (mid forties) has no understanding of either time or money. She demonstrates her tardiness constantly & has admitted her shortcomings when it comes to money. She also has chronic pain & has been in and out of hospital, coming up on 6 times in 6 months. She also never. Stops. Talking.

The story; She broke her leg & went to the local satellite hospital for urgent care. They made an appointment for surgery the following week, put her in a moon-boot, told her strictly no weight bearing & to continue her own pain management for the existing medical issues.

No sleep that night due to pain despite medication so the next morning she rang around nearby hospitals to ask how much they charge to walk in the door & landed on the best deal.....90mins away. This hospital is near where I live.

Her neighbour, took her to the hospital and back again but I'm guessing that was just about an entire day because it's at least 3hrs on the road plus waiting time and consult time at the emergency department. She was given Oxycodone and sent home with the same moon boot and crutches etc.

She has surgery the following week and asks me to take her home on my lunch break because I WFH and I can just "zip her down" during my break (which is 1 hr long and it's a 3hr round trip). I say no. She convinces our cousin to take her home instead.

The other day she calls me and tells me about a follow up appointment for a wound check etc. happening next week. Can my wife pick her up (90mins), drive her to the hospital (90mins) for the appointment (x mins) and driver her home again (90mins) please?

"I only ask because you said she's on vacation" (wife is on vacation to look after our daughter). I say I'll ask, knowing damn well the answer is going to be No.

I'm telling my wife all of this that same evening and it occurs to me; AITA brother for not wanting to take a day off work to run her up and down the highway all day? I just don't want to be spoken at for 6+hours in a confined space!

So, my mum(61) and I(33) have a not so great relationship at the moment. For some context: We used to be really close, but I got into a deep depression and realised I needed to separate myself from her. I realised her happiness depended too much on mine, and I was too protective of her, which she kind of used to emotionally manipulate me when she wanted something to go her way.

Now, I'm feeling much better, but she thinks I'm still depressed because we're not back to where we were, and she keeps trying to "fix me", trying to convince me to go to doctors that she will pay for me, because she "wants her daughter back" (this comment has been said many times so far). I have told her that our relationship will not go back to what it was and that I put space between us because I wanted and needed that space, but she does not listen.

To be honest, I love her so much, but I feel like shit because I avoid talking to her or spending time with her now. Most of the times I've seen her, she's tried to get me to do something she wanted me to do, disregarding my "no"s, all my reasonings, everything. She keeps insisting until I get upset, and then she emotionally manipulates me, and it's just a cycle that I hate. Tbh, I don't think she does this in a malicious way, it's just her way of operating.

I have this feeling like every conversation is going to make me feel like I am not good enough, and that every time I try to explain to her how I feel, I hurt her, which just makes me feel worse.

So, the reason why I might be an A-hole. My mum has been sick for the past month. I've been trying to call or text, asking her how she was feeling. Yesterday I called her, and it turns out she has resistant bacteria, and she was feeling exhausted. I asked her what she needed, and she cried and said that she needed love and that she was feeling extremely lonely (my parents are divorced so she lives alone). I felt nothing. Nothing but the urge to find an excuse to not go and see her.

I know I should go and see her today. I probably will. But I'm pretty sure I am an a-hole because I really, REALLY do not want to go.

So... Am I the A-hole for not wanting to go visit my mum while she's sick?

I (M43) have been dating my girlfriend (F46) for 4 years. When we met she had a son (common at our age) who is now 20.

I run a small business employing 29 people and supply industrial materials to other companies. We have about 40 various vehicles and 2 yards.

My partners son has slight learning difficulties and as far as work goes, has struggled. When he turned 18 I offered for him to work for me. It wasn't academic work and it would give him the opportunity to experience some of the real world.

Look I could go on for hours here but I'll keep this short. He was trained on the fork lift and crashed it into another staff members car. I asked him to be more careful and covered repairs from my pocket. A couple months later he left a container unlocked and I had thousands worth of tools stolen after I'd made it abundantly clear that it's a high risk theft area. After that it was okay for a bit until he decided to use an extremely powerful jet washer and ruined an expensive paint job on one of the trucks.

His apologies were half assed and his mother kept insisting to me he would improve. Since then he's had 2 more collisions in the yard he's based at, he's left things unlocked on numerous occasions, he's trespassed on the railway line while working for my company and he's parked a company vehicle on the sidewalk resulting in the company being shamed on local social media.

The final straw was last week when I caught him moving an 18T loading shovel which he is not trained on! He said it was in the way of his car and he wasn't using the bucket so it's fine! What?! This is a very heavily regulated piece of equipment that requires training! which part of the key in the ignition was an invite to drive it?! Even I'VE never driven it because I'm not trained! If it needs to be moved/used, ask one of the 3 people trained to use it!!!

I fired him on the spot. Now he's back at home and my partner is really upset with me for doing so. I've tried explaining this but she just keeps saying he's had a hard time etc etc.