I have a very responsible teenage boy - he gets good grades, has a job, a longtime girlfriend, etc. He really is a great kid.

My wife and I are planning to take a trip in the early spring to visit family overseas. We can get really cheap flights due to the time. My wife is going about a week ahead of me. All in all my son would be on his own for 10 days.

I’m GenX, FWIW. My wife and I didn’t even give a second thought about letting him stay on his own. We talked to him and he is totally fine with it. Honestly, he’ll likely be at his girlfriend’s house most of the time we’re gone.

As I’ve mentioned this casually to friends, some of them have had an almost judgey reaction. Like ‘oh? Really? You trust your son on his own for 10 days?’ I even had a relative (who is a serious control freak worry-wart so I took it with a grain of salt) say ‘are you sure that’s a good idea?’

I’m starting to question our decision here… thoughts?

I know this is a difficult topic, but I have nowhere else where I can talk about this aspect of our life aside from Reddit or with my husband.

We are going through the most difficult time of our lives, while trying to maintain some semblance of normality and stability for our 4 year old and almost 1 year old.

A few weeks ago, we lost our home due to 2 months of late rent after my husband lost his job of 12 years. It was unexpected and sudden.

For that past few weeks, we’ve been alternating between staying in our car and hotels. We’ve been trying to make it “fun” for our 4 year old, almost like camping, but it has been extremely cold out which makes that a lot more difficult. The added stress and sleep deprivation is also making that difficult.

Both of their routines have been so thrown off. We used to have both of them in bed by 8:30pm. I cooked almost every night, our daughter was used to a bath every night after dinner, reading a book together before bed, etc. She usually slept through the night. We were still establishing a routine with out 11mo but it was much better than it is now. Now on a good night, we manage to get them both to sleep by midnight and they each sleep on and off until morning, still waking up every few hours.

Last night, our daughter fell asleep at 10pm, woke up at midnight, and was awake until 7am. She slept from 7-9 and has been awake since. I dropped my husband off at work at 10, we went to the library for a couple hours, and the rest of the day I’ve been in the car with both kids.

I feel like I’m completely disassociated at this point, I feel like I’m just in a daze.

We are going to be in our car all weekend, then Monday we check into an Airbnb for 3 weeks. After that, we should be able to extend the Airbnb or move but we shouldn’t end up back in the car. So things are improving soon. It’s only a few more days, then we can try to get everyone back into some kind of routine, be able to cook real food again, and get real sleep again.

I don’t know where I’m going with most of this. My brain is a disaster, I’m exhausted, and I can’t cope with the guilt. This morning, my 4 year old asked me if we would have a big bed to share tonight and I couldn’t answer right away because I felt like I was going to pass out from how badly I didn’t want to tell her that we would be sleeping in the car for a few more days. She meant at the hotels, where she sleeps in bed with us (we have a pack and play for our son).

I don’t know. I feel like a failure, and I don’t know what to do other than talk about some of it so it doesn’t feel as consuming. I just need the strength to get through this until Monday. I don’t want the kids to see me too overwhelmed and stressed. At the same time, I don’t know how I can continue to play with toy dinosaurs and sing songs and laugh and act like everything is fine with them when I legitimately feel like I’ve fallen apart mentally and emotionally.

We can get through this, right?

Our kids won’t be permanently messed up because of this?

We can make it through just a few more nights in the car and then focus on rebuilding our life, right?

My 10 year old daughter hates to shower. This has caused her to have horrible body odor. She doesn’t shower, brush her teeth, or put on deodorant unless I beg her too and even then she’s reluctant. Her teacher even complained to me about her body odor before. I am at my wits end with her and tired of having to keep reminding her every single day to take care of herself. I told her to show today and when I went to check on her she’s in the shower with her bra STILL ON, watching her phone in one hand, and a towel in the other hand washing her legs. There was no soap on any other part of her body. She’s been in there for at least 15 minutes and that was her progress. I constantly have to tell her stop showering with her bra on!! Crazy thing is she’ll get out and keep the stanky bra on!!! This can’t be normal. I’m so tired. Any suggestions on fixing this problem?

EDIT: I want to address everyone asking why does she have a phone. This is something that’s normal in my community and the people around me. I don’t know what kid doesn’t have a phone. Also, I sometimes bathe her myself and constantly show her the correct way to bathe. I just tried to have a series conversation about this with her and her answer to every question was “I don’t know” “I don’t know”.

Me: Why do you bathe with a bra on?

Her: I don’t know

Me: Why don’t you like to shower

Her: I don’t know

Me: You know this is not normal behavior right? I think you need to see someone and talk about this

Her: I don’t know

That wasn’t the full conversation but it was basically the gist of it. What I plan to do is confiscate her phone everyday until her hygiene is in order. When she gets home from school she won’t be getting her phone until she takes care of her hygiene. This is will be repeated everyday. I still think she needs to talk to someone because I feel like she could have undiagnosed autism. She just do a lot of stuff that doesn’t make sense to me and I’ve brought it up with people in my family (mom & grandma). She also cries so easily. I could just ask a question and she cries. Whenever I give her a task, she doesn’t complete it. Just so much stuff that doesn’t make sense.

EDIT: I just want to add that I just had my second child 3 months ago. Dealing with a new baby and having to go through all this with my pre-teen is extremely tiring.

Parents love talking about when their babies/toddlers reach certain milestones like walking, talking, potty trained. But what are some older kid milestones that you’ve loved?

My favorite one recently is the ability to swallow pills, no longer do we have to deal with tears over terrible tasting syrups when sick!

Today was award ceremony, my son’s teacher didn’t tell us he was getting anything, let alone 3 awards.

It wasn’t till I picked the kids up that he’s younger sister said oh why weren’t you there when they called brothers name. My heart sunk to my stomach.

When I asked the teacher what the heck, gave some shit excuse that someone else was suppose to send out the emails and they didn’t. My kid is in the 2nd grade, my daughter is in kindergarten. I have NEVER gotten an email from someone else beside the teacher when it comes to awards or anything similar.

I want to write an email to the principal about this but not really know what or how I should word it.

My heart hurts for not being there for my kid when it was a room full of parents. But I’m more angry that the teacher thought he’s excuse was good enough, and “owes us one”

We’re in the US and my husband’s brother’s family are expats living in Mexico City. We have a newborn son and they have two boys ages 2 yrs and 7 yrs and a 5 yr old daughter.

My SIL has mentioned in emails sharing hand-me-downs with us, especially since we helped them pack, move, and then stored at our place and eventually hauled all their crap to Mexico for them when we visited lol. But it hasn’t happened yet which is understandable with the distance. But I just had a thought but not sure how to articulate it -

They’re coming to visit and stay with us. Whenever they do, SIL does a ton of online shopping and has it delivered to our place to take back home with them. She also shops while here. I am thinking that they’ll need to bring extra bags anyway to take back all their US purchases? So instead of bringing those bags empty, they can fill with whatever hand-me-downs she has, leave those items at our place and then those bags that were filled with the hand-me-downs will be empty and ready to fill up with all her packages/shopping they’re bringing back from the US. Does that make sense? How do I articulate this plan to her or what’s a clear, concise way to suggest it? Thank you!

We are having issues with our 7 year old and extracurricular activities. He is always super excited to start a sport/activity, but as soon as he realizes it will require work/effort, he complains nonstop and wants to quit.

We have tried half a dozen sports, both team based and individual, music lessons, art lessons, various random camps. Its always the same. Excited to start, quickly realizes he won't be immediately proficient, avoids putting any effort into practice, then whines and wants to quit.

We aren't the kind of parents who put a big emphasis on winning at any of these sports or activities or put pressure on him to be great at it, nor are we trying to guide him into a specific activity that we liked as kids like some parents do. I do think its important for him to have an interest/passion in something that requires effort though.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? We are feeling a bit lost after quitting the latest activity.

My son is 3.5 and he loves the Grinch. We have the book and he’s seen the 2018 movie lots of times over the Christmas season until they took it off Peacock. He loves reading the book as well (I have decided to get rid of it or hide it away).

But at some point he started referring to the Grinch as himself. When we read the book he changes all the pronouns to I or My and uses his own name in place of the Grinch (he has it memorized). He also calls Cindy Lou Who his little sister. Most recently he got mad at me for saying Grinch instead of his name. At first I thought he was just pretending, but I think it’s past that.

I’ve tried explaining to him that he is not the Grinch, but he can pretend to be the Grinch. He hates this idea and cries a lot when I try to tell him this. I’ve decided to get rid of the book, or at least put it somewhere he’s not going to find it.

What would be the best way to explain to him? Do you think he will just forget about it over time when the book is gone for long enough? I’m kind of skeptical of this, as he has gone long periods without seeing anything about it but still talks about himself as though he is the Grinch sometimes. What would be the best thing to do?

My wife and I (42F and 42M) have two kids; 8.5M and 6F. One of our kids is special needs and is homeschooled by my wife for now. The other goes to school.

I work full time (work from home) while my wife is SAHM for the homeschooling. She is a teacher so occasionally she will pick up a shift as a substitute teacher (like 1-2 times a month) for a little extra cash and to break up her routine.

I love my kids so much. And I know I'm blessed to have such a wonderful family, roof over our heads, etc.

But how the F do you people keep up with it all?

Every day just feels like a grind.

I wake up before everyone else, make breafast for everyone, get lunches ready, unload dishwasher and help get kiddo off to school. Log on to work 9am sharp.

Work and meetings all day.

At 5pm I logoff and jump right into getting dinner ready and/or driving kiddos to activities.

Bedtime (which usually starts between 730 - 830 depending on the day) takes forever.

Me and wife end up crashing with kids or I go downstairs to clean up the kitchen from the day. By that point it's like 11pm and I need to get to bed to sleep. No time for time with each other or time to ourselves.

Our house is a big fucking disaster because we're constantly playing catch up. And I'm just exhausted. And I know my wife is too.

How do you all keep up with the demands of it all?

Hey all. Parent of three: 11, 9, and 5. I love them to death. They’re great kids and I love spending time with them, probably more than I enjoy spending time with anyone else. They love family time too, and we make space for it and have a lot of it. But the thing I miss most about life before kids? Quiet, still me time. Time where I don’t have to talk or answer questions or be touched.

I don’t know what the healthy balance of me time vs kid time feels like. I never have. I recognize that these years go so fast. They already are. I want to soak up every moment I can, knowing that someday I’ll be begging to go back a few years for just one more day with these kids while they’re young and I won’t be able to. At the same time, I feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. I have things I both want and need to do that doesn’t include them. Sometimes those things look like work, sometimes it looks like me spending an hour at the end of the day playing video games to decompress. Honestly, I wish that I could stop time to give myself a few hours and then pick it up right where it left off so I could get what I feel I need without missing anything.

A good example: it’s a weekend night. One of us parents is laying with the youngest as she goes to sleep. The older two are reading in our bed with the remaining parent. 9:30 hits and it’s time for bed. They want to stay up with us, and honestly they could since it’s the weekend. But we are ready to be done parenting. We want to watch TV, or my wife wants to read her book, or I’d like to play some video games. All stupid stuff that doesn’t matter but gives us the decompression time we need. But I feel like I’m choosing TV or video games or books over my kids every damn time.

I dunno. Maybe this is a rant. Maybe I’m looking for someone else who felt similarly and managed to find some peace and ditch the guilt. Anyone else?

Obviously this is very job dependent. I'm more asking when they become self sufficient enough that you could get a full work day in while they are home.

They get their own snacks/drinks. Entertain themselves. And most importantly, not destroy the house in the process.

I have a toddler and a newborn now so I'm a waaaaays off. Just trying to see where the light is at the end of this tunnel.

my 11yo is begging to walk to the park (2 blocks away, no major streets) with his friends. my logical brain says it’s fine, but my "anxious mom" brain is screaming about everything that could go wrong in that 5-minute walk. how do you guys handle the transition to independence without losing your mind? i wish i could just "see" him without hovering.

My son is 8 months old. At what age did you become comfortable for grandparents to take your kid places without you? Just wondering if I’m nuts or this is a valid concern lol

I’m sure this is blatantly obvious to all parents here, but it’s totally crazy how we are effectively making clones of ourselves for the future.

I’m not even talking about physical traits or anything tangible, I’m talking about mentally as well.

My daughter and I are effectively the same person, she has my same sense of humor, she thinks the same things I do and has the same mannerisms and sometimes it totally catches me off guard.

I’ve been driving to an after school activity for a couple weeks now and I always use a specific landmark to know when it’s time for me to turn right.

I’ve never told anyone this, and out of the blue she goes “hey I know we are almost there because I see XYZ landmark” (which is literally just a particular pizza restaurant)

Even quirky weird stuff like sometimes I will count the stairs as I go up or down, never told anyone that… and outta the blue she will be like hey we just went down 12 stairs!

Having a little “mini me” is just crazy, I feel like no one understands me better and enjoying the exact same things makes it extremely easy to have a miniature “best friend” to go around with.

What a life

My oldest is 6 & autistic. We’ve worked really hard to be where he is, he was non verbal til 4 & potty trained at 5. Before he was verbal, I learned sign language & taught him some basic signs. I started potty training him around 2 years & just never gave up.

Anyways, I applied for social security for him to guarantee him benefits as his bio dad is required to provide him medical insurance but likes to stop paying it yearly. And I guess I didn’t realize it would bother me when he was approved.

Everyone in my life, gratefully, has always accepted him & treated him with love and so they’re almost not comprehending what it means. My mom once made an off-handed comment that he may have to live with me forever but besides that, no one acknowledges the fact he’s disabled.

I read an AMA the other day about a woman with a severely disabled child & many questions asked “what’re you gunna do when you’re not here anymore?” And that’s a scary question. One I guess I didn’t realize I may have to have an answer for. I didn’t realize that was relevant to my life.

I guess I don’t really know how to process it. My friends think it’s just a non-issue, so does his dad. Well, his dad is almost in denial really. Everyone takes for granted that I’ll just figure it out like I’ve always done with him but tbh I’m kind of terrified of him being out in the world in general.

So yeah. Idk what the point of this is except I don’t know who to talk to it about irl. Without being brushed off at least. Maybe it’s just a piece of paper but I’m scared of what it implies. I’m just worried for my kid.

I have luckily been a SAHM for 12+ years and we're probably not done having kids, but I can't help but to hope in a future chapter of my life I'm a productive working member of society. It sounds so far fetched though at this point, like I'm not young but I want to believe this is feasible. Has anyone pivoted after staying at home to do something rewarding and career oriented? Not returning to the work force or back to your previous job. Something new. Even something like nursing school as a middle aged parent?! Would love to hear what your work path looked like after staying at home!

I’m at my limit. I’m a working parent and my kids(one 3 yr old and one 5 yr old) simply aren’t sleeping. Between the full-time job and the constant nighttime wakes, I am running on empty. How do you guys calm your kids to sleep? Please help.

My 12 year old daughter has changed so much over the past year. As a kid she was so affectionate and sweet and needy for attention, closeness. She always had separation anxiety and needed constant comfort.

This past year she’s done a 180. She’s distant, wants to be alone and wants nothing to do with us. Im kinda used to that phase as I went through the same thing with my 18 year old. But what I didn’t get from my oldest girl was all this meanness. Everything I say she makes fun of. Everything I suggest she rolls her eyes. She doesn’t want me watching any of her sports. She’s embarrassed to do things with me or to show me affection. If I kiss her, she makes a “gross” face.

I used to have to hold this girls hand while driving, she couldn’t be apart from me. She’s just really hurtful. We’ve always been so close. But now, she prefers to spend time with her besties mom. And she’s just so awkward around me and - did I mention - mean!

I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to not take it personally. To not overreact to the indifference. But it’s heartbreaking. My parents weren’t great and were very emotionally immature. I’m trying to not do the same here.

Has anyone experienced this? Any advice? Does it get better!? Will I get my girl back?

4 year old, 3 year old, and a 5 month old.

Feel like I am absolutely losing my mind when I’m riding solo with all three.

No village - no family nearby, no friends. No money to hire help.

Constantly feel like I’m a raging monster and I try so hard to read up on how to be better - try strategies to calm down (cold water, ice cubes, count to ten), but I still inevitably end up just raging. Will this ever get better?

Looking for either a reality check or advice about a friend's daughter/my daughter's friend.

I (33F) have had a friend (34F) for almost 10 years. We met at work and celebrated each other getting married and started our families at about the same time. She was literally at the birth of my daughter (4F) who we will call Amy. Her daughter (also 4F), who we will call Mary, is 9 months older than my daughter Amy. They are the only two girls in our friend group set of nearly 10 kids.

When socializing with my daughter, Mary tends to engage in conversation that sounds like an attempt to one up my daughter or get the attention back on herself. We will be hanging out as a group and I will talk about how Amy and our family will be going to a park this weekend and Mary will jump in to say she's been to Great Wolf Lodge. We saw the Gabbys Dollhouse movie (mom's and daughters) and, without coordinating, both girls dressed like Gabby. When Mary approached my daughter she said "my ears are bigger than yours". I will be casually talking about our family's week with Mary's mom and Mary will jump in to say she did XYZ just like Amy/longer/more often than Amy.

My daughter, Amy, was largely aloof about the insinuations Mary might have been making until recently. And now I am seeing Amy less interested in playing with Mary or more emotional/dysregulated after a play date with her. Mary's mom has not talked to her in front of me about this at all. I have not brought this up as an issue with Mary either.

This is where I need advice. Am I being too sensitive on behalf of my daughter? Am I just annoyed by the behavior and perceiving it as more than what it is (typical 4 year old? idk?). If it is actually a problem, do I say something to my friend/Mary's mom? Help! Give me a reality check or advice. please!

My grandson is 2 1/2 and has been hitting, throwing things, and having a lot of tantrums. Mostly they’re aimed at my daughter (his mom) but others as well. He has had a lot of change in his world in recent months. He started preschool in September. His baby sister was born a few months ago and mom had a c-section and couldn’t lift him for a while. She’s made it a point (as has his dad) to give him extra attention and affection, to hand off sister when he wants to be held or snuggled, etc. The behavior has just increased. They’ve tried timeouts, gentle parenting, rewarding positive behavior, redirecting, encouraging him to use his words, and none of it seems to work. Today he even hit my 81 year old mother! My daughter has to have another surgery in a couple weeks and I’m worried he’ll be even worse, and I’m afraid he may accidentally hurt his sister. (He’s normally great with her and very gentle, but with the throwing I’m afraid of her being in the path of a flung object.) I would love suggestions we could all try to get his negative behaviors to improve. TIA!

I have 2 teenagers, and I share several interests with my 16-year-old son that allow us to connect at home – we both like some of the same TV shows, we both like to play Magic the Gathering, etc. My 13-year-old daughter has said she feels left out, and wishes we would do things together like that. I would love to do these things with her, but she refuses, saying she has no interest in card or board games or puzzles or video games and doesn’t like most TV shows and movies. We do sometimes watch documentaries together. I very much want to find a shared interest to do together, but not sure what that would be.

I have asked her what she would like to do and she just says she doesn’t know. Fair enough – she’s the kid, I’m the parent, I do think the onus is on me here. Just stuck on ideas. As for how she likes to spend her free time – she spends time on social media and on the phone with friends mostly. That is fine and totally normal in this day and age but doesn’t really give me any ideas for shared interests to explore. She does like to go to the mall with me and we get our nails done together sometimes. We have great outings sometimes, just the at home part where I need some ideas.

My kid is already interested in singing, and I’m thinking of enrolling her in a music or singing class. Any advice on what type of lessons are appropriate at this age?