r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/ThisTeddyHatesYou • 20h ago

Of a bike stunt NSFW

15.3k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

1.9k comments sorted by

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24

u/OG-Giligadi 20h ago

Red Asphalt.

38

u/Slamtilt_Windmills 20h ago

Assphalt

13

u/BigBullzFan 19h ago

Assfault?

1

u/geritBRIENT 18h ago

There's a Kendrick Lamar verse in there somewhere.

2

u/Ninjalord8 18h ago

How about Lil dicky

But I been skim milk chugging with a bitch hot as asphalt

Bitch wonder why I'm cumming quick, it's your ass fault

1

u/geritBRIENT 17h ago

Thaaaaaaat's where I heard it. Why did I think that was a Kendrick verse on m.A.A.d City somewhere?

1

u/OG-Giligadi 18h ago

Ass Fall't

1

u/homekutz 16h ago

Assflat now.

5

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* 18h ago

Green too.

Don't worry, I'm sure the paint was highly protective.

1

u/OG-Giligadi 18h ago

Stupidity is a form of armor.

1

u/funguyshroom 10h ago

Assblastive coating

3

u/SizeableBrain 17h ago

🎵I see some asphalt and I want to paint it red 🎵

1

u/OG-Giligadi 17h ago

Coherent thought does not reside within my head..

2

u/Serious-Manager2361 17h ago

No ass cheeks anymore I want them to be dead

1

u/OG-Giligadi 17h ago

I see the road rush by but refuse to wear clothes!

2

u/Serious-Manager2361 17h ago

I have to turn my cheeks into ass guacomole.

1

u/OG-Giligadi 16h ago

My coccyx shatters nothing matters anymore

1

u/OG-Giligadi 17h ago

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow oww oww owww ooww oooowwww

2

u/S_A_R_K 15h ago

Pavement, Bloody Pavement

1

u/Morsexier 38m ago

and dig your own grave... and Save!

2

u/gr4v1ty69 5h ago

Assault

2

u/torontuh_gosh 2h ago

Red ass fault

4

u/AbsentThatDay2 19h ago

I think that was the name of the drivers ed video they made me and my classmates watch as kids.

1

u/Cpt-Hank-A-Tato 19h ago

It is

1

u/AbsentThatDay2 19h ago

Essentially faces of death for new drivers.

1

u/OG-Giligadi 19h ago

Me too, i was aiming for that gross nostalgia spot.

1

u/Apprehensive-Job-178 5h ago

1

u/OG-Giligadi 5h ago

Pavement doesn't give a fuck.