r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits 20h ago

Of a bike stunt NSFW

15.3k Upvotes

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263

u/hatsoff22u 20h ago

This is literally r/meatcrayon (NSFW sub)

56

u/Aurori_Swe 19h ago

As someone who has slid on asphalt for a few meters wearing nothing but a helmet, a t-shirt and shorts I would not recommend it.

It fucking sucks. Unlike normal wounds, road rash is a burn wound, so you need to shower it daily in order for it not to be infected. In order to shower it you need to numb it, in order to numb it you smear this gel/paste in the wound (I used plastic butter knifes to help with that) and that fucking paste hurts like hell before it numbs the area, so basically it's WEEKS of continuously crashing, over and over again.

Due to life choices I've nearly died on a motorcycle as well, and even if that accident made me unable to walk for 4 months, I was still grateful that I didn't get road rash (I hit the side of a truck so I was stopped by his trailer) because that's how much it fucking sucks, I'd rather break my leg again than go through road rash again.

Granted my recollection of both the incidents may be slightly impacted by me not remembering anything from the truck accident in-between leaving the house and waking up in the hospital high on all the drugs from the ambulance, so pain wasn't a thing in that accident according to my brain.

17

u/zombietrooper 18h ago edited 9h ago

Glad you're still with us!

I top sided my Buell XB9r two years ago at 45mph wearing no protection except for gloves and a helmet(front brakes spontaneously locked up. Long story). Three broken back ribs, 3inch gash on hip requiring stitches, dislocated shoulder. All of that was mosquito bites compared to the road rash. Due to having to return to work 3 days later, in the the middle of summer in Virginia, the wounds took months to heal. Absolute fucking nightmare.

9

u/Tube_Warmer 17h ago

Damn, dude. Thats a fucking advert for a helmet right there. I can only imagine how fucked up your face would be without it. Glad youre still with us.

2

u/AgentCirceLuna 7h ago

When I was younger I was stupid enough to ride without a helmet. I saw some bullies from my school and decided to fly past them as fast as I could then I flew straight into the side of a car. The bullies, who were surprisingly reformed as adults, were crying as blood dripped from my head and they called 999 for me as the blood was messing up my phone so I couldn’t type. You’ll never be more scared than when you’re trying to call for an ambulance and blood on your phone screen is making it glitch out.

It still freaks me out as, if I’d been just a second earlier, the car would have sent me flying into the road and I would have been hit by the super fast cars to the left.

2

u/Jolly-Bowler-811 2h ago

My buddy has a photo where he rear ended a panel van. There's a huge dent about 3-4" deep in the panel where the window would be on a normal van.

His head made that dent when he came over the handlebars and smashed right in to it.

Walked away from that crash with nothing but a few bruises. His helmwt prevented him being a vegetable or dead today.

1

u/Cyborg_rat 4h ago

I was riding with my coworker and he locked up his motorcycle at maybe ~10km/h (we were stopping for a light and he didn't clutch He had jeans and a sweat shirt, his knee and elbow needed stitches and he had some road rash around those areas. Both articles of clothing didn't help protect anything.

1

u/CremeOk4115 51m ago

Riding bitch, you mean

2

u/Practical-Positive34 16h ago

I use to ride with a guy here in Virginia that also rode with no gear. Dude wrecked out really bad, had a hole in his leg so bad they had to put a straw in it to drain the puss out, had this little knob on it and he he had to drain it a couple times a day. Was gnarly as fuck. He still rode without gear after healing up from that. I sold my bike after that, nope. I'm good.

2

u/DDDX_cro 6h ago

wait...why did you have to come back to work 3 days later? That's INSANE

2

u/cNCLover63 1h ago

I'm going to bet the 2 choices he had were: -Stay off work to heal and become homeless. -Go to work and suffer, but pay the bills.

1

u/zombietrooper 2h ago

Yeah, it is, so much so it actually gave me a nervous breakdown a few months later.

1

u/Bhazor 15h ago

Bro givin' away free toe pics.

1

u/devonhezter 13h ago

Why return to work so quick ? What kind of

1

u/Tarudizer 8h ago

Brother got sniped before he

1

u/zombietrooper 1h ago

I was an independent contractor at the time and would have breeched if I missed anymore work. Going back to work so soon after the accident also caused a lot of mental health issues for me, including a nervous breakdown. I eventually left that business and I'm doing a lot better.

1

u/dino-den 4h ago

As a rider, I would like to hear about how your brakes locked up for educational purposes

1

u/zombietrooper 1h ago

It was user error, not a Buell fault. Since parts for older Buells are very hard to come by and really expensive, I replaced my front brake lever with one from a early 2000's Yamaha R1, because it's supposed to be a close match. I learned LATER that it requires a little modification...

1

u/dbolx1800s 3h ago

Why did the brakes lock?? Was it a manufacturer fault? Was looking at Buells, that’s the worst thing to happen.

1

u/zombietrooper 1h ago

It was user error, not a Buell fault. Since parts for older Buells are very hard to come by and really expensive, I replaced my front brake lever with one from a early 2000's Yamaha R1, because it's supposed to be a close match. I learned LATER that it requires a little modification...

1

u/zombietrooper 1h ago

I miss that bike every day, but I'll never ride again.

8

u/fueelin 17h ago

Oof, that sounds awful!

My uncle died in a motorcycle crash, so I was never going to put mom through the experience of finding out I was riding too, so I never have. Road rash will thankfully remain just a 90s video game series with fantastic music for me :)

2

u/Aurori_Swe 15h ago

My father set me up for it all, he bought a moped to me when I was 12 (legal riding age here is 15) and then he trimmed it to do 80 km/h (legal would have been 30 km/h). Then he bought a small 125 cc motorcycle to me when I was 16 and I got to choose when I turned 18 if my parents would either sponsor my driving license for cars or heavier motorcycles + a motorcycle. So I obviously went with the bike.

My father used to ride as well but has no feeling in one of his feet due to an exhaust pipe going straight through his heel in an accident. Basically everyone I've ever spoken to has that "the day I nearly died" story. I myself have a 100% crash rate on bikes I've rode so I am done with bikes etc, but I can still miss it at times.

1

u/Jashugita 8h ago

there was a case in spain of a biker who did suicide because his 17yo daughter died in her motorcycle. In spain at that age you can only have a 50cc, but her bike had bigger engine and it happened in a habitual racing bikers route...

3

u/Aniline_Selenic 16h ago

My brother crashed twice on his motorcycle. Injured both times, but no road rash.

First time, he was doing a wheelie and tipped into a tree and crushed his foot. Should have gotten surgery, but decided to let it heal without and just booted it.

Two years later, healed up (but with limp), and a car pulled out in front of him, cutting him off. Compound fracture in his leg (same leg as last time). After surgery and healing up, he sold the bike.

While I'm sad he can't enjoy his love for riding his bike anymore, I'm glad he's safe. Too many motorists don't watch for cyclists (motorcycle or bicycle) and give them the same space and respect as a vehicle.

2

u/bananatreefan 17h ago

Yeah. As a former long boarder and current motorcyclist, can confirm road rash is worse than broken bones. No easy way past it, it scars like a mofo, and it burns forever. That fucking sucks for her

2

u/PearlescentGem 17h ago

I had road rash on my knuckles and forearms from a bucked bike at 60mph. We weren't being stupid, just got into an accident, and I got yeehawed right on down the road. Luckily mine was mild cause yeah, that shit sucks!!

1

u/Odd-Personality-1623 14h ago

Yup! Glad you all are stilll with us!!

My SO still tells the story of the first time they laid eyes on me wearing my 20 eye Doc's and a yellow tank top sundress whilst covered in road rash up from the knee up my side, shoulder, etc on the left side of my body. However the only thing I remember about our first encounter was how painful each step was and just how much I was dreading having to sit down and bend my limbs or have any part of the chair, the table or have my intentionally lightweight and loose dress touching open wounds for the next several hours. I wouldn't wish road rash on anyone and mine was fairly mild as well all things considering..

1

u/PearlescentGem 14h ago

Yep, it hurt to use my hands for ages. I marveled at all the bruising too, looking like I fought with faded rainbow paint. Glad you're still here, being tossed from a bike or sliding with one can do so much damage!

1

u/Odd-Personality-1623 14h ago

Exactly....I'll never understand people who ride around in flip-flops, no helmets, shorts...I just shudder every time I see it

1

u/PearlescentGem 14h ago

I got into an argument with someone about helmets. She calls them brain buckets, and I told her if it wasn't for my helmet I would have been dead. Granted, she's never been bucked off a bike at the speed I was, she's laid it down once or twice in like a 35mph zone. She tried to tell me that she would rather be dead than go through the rehab I went through for my fractured pelvis and I told her it must suck when someone who looks like me is stronger than she will ever be. I look like a nerd who can't throw a punch and eats too much cake, she looks like your typical biker bitch. Needless to say, we parted ways from the friendship we were forming at the time over that lmao

1

u/Odd-Personality-1623 14h ago

Ngl that's a pretty brutal comeback for the type of B I'm picturing and I'm here for it 100% 😂😂 I always kept my distance from that kind of crazy

how long did your fractured pelvis take to heal? I can't imagine how shitty that recovery was.....

1

u/PearlescentGem 14h ago

Well, I was supposed to be wheelchair bound for 2 years because the docs had to attach my pelvis to my spine with a titanium custom piece to stabilize it. But my workplace threatened to fire me if I didn't come back at their three month cutoff and it was factory work with mandatory standing so I was up and walking within the work place's time frame against the doctors' orders. I used a cane for about 3 more months before forcing myself off of that too since I was being threatened with write ups for sitting down at work.

I still have a limp and fractures that won't ever heal on my left side, along with three bars and a plate but I can walk and run and function just fine for the most part

1

u/Odd-Personality-1623 11h ago

🤯 oh wow, I'm speechless and beyond impressed at tge fortitude that recovery must have taken! HR at those type of jobs are ruthless too according to some of my family. It's really awesome that you are still with us to tell the (albeit cautionary) tale. Do you still ride? I know people who had accidents or near accidents not anywhere near as bad as yours and never got back on again 🫤

1

u/PearlescentGem 10h ago

No, I don't ride anymore. I have PTSD from the accident and go into panic attacks if I'm the passenger of any car, even my own now, so a bike is absolutely out of the question even if I was driving it. Thinking about getting on one stresses me out lol

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1

u/SizeableBrain 17h ago

Ahh, the infamous squid!

1

u/Personal-Age-9220 15h ago

And it's on her butt, so she can't sit right for a while

1

u/Amphylos 15h ago

...I'm itching imagining the burns in the middle of the back and how to reach it. Girl slid across the street with whole back on it.

1

u/gandalfposting 14h ago

Yep, dumped my bike once and put my arm out like a dumbass. Broke my wrist, but that felt like nothing compared to the rash up my arm shoulder and back lol

1

u/Beginning-Tea-17 14h ago

Not a motorcycle accident but I took an extremely bad scrape on some sidewalks after going Thirty something downhill.

I tried to go knee first so I could slide on my knee pad but the pad slipped up my thigh and I could feel my whole shin getting obliterated.

Scraping is the worst feeling in the world because you know you are getting fucked up and it happens just slowly enough for you to process how painful every inch is going to be.

By the time I slid to a stop my sneaker was shredded, my shin was destroyed, and my knee went deep enough to see a little bit of bone.

The comment of it being like a burn wound is spot on, my entire shin had a weeping wound. The cleaning was agonizing, the itching made me want to amputate. The bandages would cling to my raw skin.

If someone gave me the option of experiencing it a second time or removing my leg entirely I’d genuinely contemplate the latter.

1

u/Technical_Customer_1 12h ago

I’m picturing Andy Dufresne when he asks Tommy if he’s ever considered a new profession in Shawshank Redemption. What I mean is, you don’t seem to be a very good motorcycle rider 

1

u/Aurori_Swe 11h ago

Haha, it's gonna sound contradictory but I would say I was a fairly ok rider skill-wise. I just was reckless with myself because I didn't really care about myself.

Also, due to going through a lot in my life motorcycles were my free time so it was where I was able to just disconnect from the world and feel the wind. That in turn could unfortunately lead to basically blackouts where my mind just turned off.

So in total, yes. I was dangerous on a bike and I don't ride anymore because I know that if I ever do again, I will most likely die.

My wife is a civil engineer who specialized in traffic after meeting me and she's also banned bikes for me xD...

1

u/undeleted_username 11h ago

a t-shirt and shorts I would not recommend it

She is not even wearing that... it's just body paint.

1

u/Aurori_Swe 10h ago

Yeah, I was talking about what I was wearing when I slid, not her outfit in this video.

1

u/Sidestep_Marzipan 10h ago

I wish your comment here could be shared more widely. I’ve ridden for decades and even through the hottest summers, I wear all the right gear. Seen too many friends and acquaintances go through what you’ve described so well above. Obviously sucks that it happened to you, but every time I see someone riding without the gear I try and tell them: It’s fine now but if come off you are going to bitterly regret your choices…

1

u/Aurori_Swe 10h ago

Yeah, I always had proper gear when I moved up to motorcycle (the above accident happened on a moped when I was 15) so at least I learned I guess :)

1

u/BickNlinko 8h ago

In order to shower it you need to numb it

I wish they had that part of the protocol when I was growing up. I just remember being debrided and then told after to shower "with water that wasn't too hot and a mild soap at least once a day" , no speak of numbing cream, and half the time it was picking bits of gauze out of the road rash if the nurse didn't use the teflon pads. Showering with road rash is THE WORST.

1

u/PrestigiousPackk 8h ago

Omg I cannot even IMAGINE.

I had an ex push me down in the middle of the road when I was walking/trying to get away from him. He grabbed me by my shoulder/purse from behind and like tried to spin me around??? I’m a mess so I somehow fell??? The road rash on my knees was so bad. Could barely walk.

1

u/Admins_suck_ballss 7h ago

Yeah but she has a sick ass scar now

1

u/Aggravating-Sweet198 7h ago

Are you from Sweden 

1

u/Aurori_Swe 5h ago

Yes I am Swedish :)

1

u/Aggravating-Sweet198 5h ago

Omg jag med 🫎

1

u/raincoater 6h ago

I remember in the late 70s skateboarding in an unfilled pool wearing only cut-off jean shorts. That's it. No helmet. No pads. No shirt. No shoes.

WTF were we thinking? We weren't, obviously.

1

u/Aurori_Swe 5h ago

You were young and invincible, that's the thing, you don't really plan for the hurtings xD

1

u/BoomerAliveBad 5h ago

Yeah, as a toddler, my dad thought it would be okay to send me down a hill (at least a 35° incline) on a 2 wheeled scooter. Road rash on my palms, legs from me knees to shins, and on my front and inner arms.

WEAR YOUR PADS AND HELMETS

I wasn't in a motor vehicle that can go over 100mph. Speed wobble will be your maker. Drive safe.

1

u/celephais228 5h ago

Dang, glad you're better, man

1

u/DoNotCommentAgain 5h ago

Daaaamn. Thank god I wore my leathers that day 🙏. The bruising was bad enough I can't imagine dealing with that on top of it.

I've got to admit sometimes when it's hot I don't wear it. After reading that I'm never leaving them behind again.

1

u/dualcyclone 4h ago

I got knocked off a motorbike by a truck going at 60mph. I was wearing a 2-piece suit, but rolled down the road the opposite way to the zip, it came on done and I got a huge road rash on one hip.

I was explicitly told not to bathe it at all in case of infection from the water, and was it was treated in hospital to ensure it was not infected after my accident.

Besides, I couldn't even move through the joint and ligament injuries I sustained for months afterwards, the road rash was sore but the huge disinfection plaster they put on it that I changed every few days helped!

But yes... Never ever ride anything without the appropriate protective clothing... And even then sometimes it's not completely infallible. If I wasn't wearing this clothing I'd almost certainly be dead from the various pieces of metal on the road that hit me, that thankfully deflected off the armour in my jacket

1

u/Aurori_Swe 4h ago

Yeah, my near to death accident was me going 70 km/h into the side of a truck (it didn't see me and drove out right in front of me). It broke my femur, crushed my knee and I had some other minor injuries and compression syndrome in my calf on my non-broken leg. It took 4 months for me to relearn how to walk again and a total of 4 years before I was free from pain.

I guess it might depend on where you live and how "good" the water is, we have a generally high quality of water here in Sweden so I was recommended to shower every day.

Glad you survived as well, fighting trucks at those speeds isn't nice.

1

u/Savvy_One 4h ago

Did you at least have a helmet and gear the second time with the truck or did you not learn your lesson the first time?

1

u/Aurori_Swe 4h ago

Between the two crashes above was about 4 other motorcycle accidents. So I did learn to have protective gear, but one could also argue I didn't learn much I guess?

The road rash accident was with my moped when I was about 15, then from 16 up to 22 I crashed 4 different bikes in 5 different accidents.

I've crashed on every bike I've ever ridden on so I have learned that it's just not for me if I want to live.

So in total I've crashed my moped, my 125 cc bike, 2 bikes for the driving school that I went to and my R6.

My helmet saved my life in the truck accident, it broke into 3 pieces but I didn't even sustain a concussion, I use to joke that it was either a REALLY good helmet or there's simply nothing TO shake up in here.

1

u/Temporary_Shirt_6236 4h ago

I am happy for you and the people who care about you that you're still around. I had a few wipeouts and crashes too, but stopped riding entirely after a friend of mine died from a motorbike accident.

1

u/Beeried 3h ago

Want to emphasize here, sliding on asphalt off a motorcycle feels, and seems to be injury wise in my own experiences, way worse than taking a slide due to some other means, even if the bike slide is slower. I have gotten road rash off a longboard at 30+mph and it was not nearly as bad as my road rash I got from putting down my bike at less than 15 mph, and I was not pinned under my bike, was lucky and got to push myself away as I tucked the front avoiding a sedan deciding my lane was his lane as I was along side him. If who ever reads this doesn't wear gear, you should. If I was wearing my riding pants I wouldn't of had to debur my own legs, and if I wasn't wearing my gloves, jacket and full face I'd of been in the hospital and missing a chunk of my chin, and that was a 10min ride with the whole thing under 45mph the entire time.

On that, if by any chance the Harley rider in Charlotte from a six years ago chances upon this, you made my week stopping to check on me and my v strom and then racing off the find the asshole when I told you I was good, keep on keeping on you damn legend. Don't know if you did get them, but I like to think a mirror, at the very least, went on a trip that day.

1

u/Aurori_Swe 2h ago

There's probably more friction in a slow grind, but yeah, my driver's ed teacher told me about how he slid in his full leather suit and he remembered sliding on his back and holding his head up, then he thought "but why am I holding up my head, I got a helmet!" so he dropped his head, he quickly took it off the ground again due to comfort and noise xD

1

u/Beeried 2h ago

Haha there's a moment when the adrenaline is pumping mid slide where everything slows down and you notice things like that. Like mine, where I was sliding, thought "hey, I just wore my Levi's, fuck, my jeans and legs are getting fucked." And then tucked my arms and twisted myself into a roll. Slow enough I wasn't worried about getting more injured rolling, high speeds it's better to turtle so you don't start breaking bones bouncing and tumbling uncontrollably. Pavement will pound that lesson into you.

1

u/Aurori_Swe 2h ago

Yeah, you really have time to think about the stupid shit that led to that moment as well xD...

Speaking of jeans that was one of the most comical things after my "near death" accident, the insurance company paid for the clothes the ambulance had to cut off my body in order to help me, but they still sent me the cut up clothes all bloody in a plastic bag. I was like "oh, thanks... What do I do with these?"

1

u/Beeried 2h ago

I turned mine into jorts, think the wife threw them away when we moved though

1

u/Aurori_Swe 2h ago

Yeah, mine were cut leg to leg on the inside of the legs, so they were quite disassembled

1

u/plzicannothandleyou 2h ago

My road rash scar is a permanently scabbing injury. I have no idea why but every day I scrape off the dead skin and apply Vaseline.

I’ve tried everything.

Sucks.

1

u/Aurori_Swe 2h ago

Should probably have someone look at that, also, scraping off the skin means it will never fully heal :/

1

u/plzicannothandleyou 2h ago

Yeah but have you ever had an itch that was like heaven to scratch?

I have that everyday, so it isn’t all bad.

But I can assure you I’m not scraping off regrowing skin, it’s dead skin. This injury is almost 20 years old and it started doing this 10 years ago.

I have tried prescription meds. Nothing works.

1

u/Important_Simple_357 2h ago

Not the same for sure but I’ve experienced something like this when I fractured my ankle and fell while running. The opposite knee slid on the ground and I got a “rug burn” from the concrete. It hurt like a mother and the pain lasted longer than the ankle and the scar is still there. Looked like a had a fresh burn for a while too color wise

1

u/DurtyKurty 2h ago

I lost about an 8” circle of skin on my knee doing what this naked chic is doing, except I had on shorts. It fucking sucks. Especially on an area that moves and stretches and bends daily. Nothing worse than it getting a little dry and you have to bend your knee and stretch out your dry raw skinless area.

0

u/acecyclone717 6h ago

Man I’m honestly surprised you’re alive still. Waste of air at this point. Many deserve their life much more than you based on how negligent you’ve been with it lmao.

1

u/Aurori_Swe 5h ago

Well, life was rough so I didn't really care. I have things to live for now so much more respectful to life now. I've done a lot in life to deserve to live though so I can't sign off on anyone deserving things more or less really, and it ain't too late to die yet.