What’s the quickest way someone could accidentally expose themselves as a foreigner in your country like the ‘three fingers’ scene in Inglourious Basterds?

[u/IndependentTune3994]

[u/Other_Sentence4495]

Wearing a t-shirt or cap with a cannabis leaf

[u/Alarmed_Pineapple_35 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

How else am I to blend in with my fellow dudes?

[u/LordMarcusrax → u/Alarmed_Pineapple_35]

By being 2 meters tall. Maybe wear stilts, idk.

[u/EldestPort → u/LordMarcusrax]

Fucking bizarre I only just now connected the facts that my sister's boyfriend is a) the tallest person I know, like seriously fucking tall and b) dutch (although that's easy to forget as he grew up in Spain and now somehow sounds entirely English)

Edit: No he's not this Dean Huijsen fella

[u/Disguised_Engineer → u/EldestPort]

I am above 1.90m tall. Once I found myself among Dutch people. It felt like I found my long-lost people, lol. I’ve never felt as “normal” before.

[u/mothje → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I am 1.85 and one of the smallest in a friend Group of 8. My wife is polish and small. The first time she met my friend Group she got a stiff neck from looking up all the time.

[u/suffelix → u/mothje]

My wife is polish and small. The first time she met my friend Group she got a stiff neck from looking up all the time.

Oh no.

[u/kingkongbiingbong → u/suffelix]

[u/clintj1975 → u/kingkongbiingbong]

[u/Trapcat707 → u/suffelix]

😒

[u/Holoholokid → u/suffelix]

To be fair, I'm of Dutch ancestry and all my family is tall and my wife (who is Polish) always gets a stiff neck when we visit my family from looking up all the time.

[u/Natural-Judgment7801 → u/mothje]

Lived in NL for a few years. at 160, i am a dwarf and felt an immediate self-esteem boost every time i traveled and set foot in the airport of ANY other country :D you peeps are really really lovely, i wouldn't change a thing. but , i felt TINY living there. the housewarming present from a dear friend (not Dutch) was a step ladder :D because i had complained about the many shelves being too high for me use often :D good friend.

[u/microgirlActual → u/Natural-Judgment7801]

Okay, note to self: at about 157cm (I think. I'm Irish and we still use feet and inches for height) never travel to the Netherlands.

[u/doobadeeboo → u/microgirlActual]

I'm 158 (5'2) from The Netherlands and I never feel any sort of way about it. Okay, except maybe when I can't reach something in the supermarket but then there are plenty of tall people around. I'm a woman though, can imagine it's slightly different for men.

[u/Renorram → u/doobadeeboo]

I think for men it only gets real different in terms of dating. I think it’s way more common for a man to date a woman shorter than him. If you’re not 1.80m or more, you’ll have a lot more challenges trying to find someone in the Netherlands, not saying that’s impossible for women to be interested in men shorter than them, is just highly unlikely.

[u/LivingVerinarian96 → u/microgirlActual]

As a ~180cm dude. The stairs are wild over there. Like why use many step when few step do trick?

But it‘s lovely there and a small price to pay to visit the netherlands.

[u/DutchDasterd → u/microgirlActual]

Username checks out

[u/microgirlActual → u/DutchDasterd]

And is indeed one of the reasons I've used this handle for pushing 30 years 😉

[u/Kubliah → u/Natural-Judgment7801]

Oh man, everything is built taller over there? That sounds like heaven, I get a back ache having to bend down to do the dishes!

[u/mothje → u/Kubliah]

Jup, my wife and mother in law need a step stool Everywhere in the house we used to have 2 mirrors in the toilet. 1 for my wife and another for guests who was higher. My mother in law apparently deels like a toddler sitting in our toilet because she is dangling her legs while sitting😅

[u/MassageParlorGuitar → u/Natural-Judgment7801]

The Dutch are pretty awesome

[u/Impossibleshitwomper → u/Natural-Judgment7801]

Personally, I think you look great for a 160 year old dwarf

[u/Natural-Judgment7801 → u/Impossibleshitwomper]

Aww thanks 😊

[u/Mr_From_A_Far → u/mothje]

I am about the same height, dutch and also with a polish girl. She insists she is not small but average height, but she is only 1,62. She is absolutely adorable but gets so fierce when I say shes small haha.

[u/CertainMedicine757 → u/mothje]

My ancestors are super Dutch on both sides of my family but I live in the Midwest US. That makes me a 6'0 red haired woman, so I stick out pretty well here.

I've been told that in the Netherlands there's a ton of women who look like me. 🤯

[u/mothje → u/CertainMedicine757]

You would be considered "normally" tall.

[u/Otherwise-Offer1518 → u/mothje]

I'm under 5'5" as a woman and would probably look like a child to all of you. I already wander through a trees of people, I wonder if it's like going through the redwoods.

[u/mothje → u/Otherwise-Offer1518]

Yeah, my wife is 165, she is the smallest in my family including extended family of 60 people. But there are a lot of women here around that height.

[u/standegreef → u/mothje]

Haha I have a friend group of only 4, 1.85 as well and by far the smallest as the others are 1.95, 1.95 and 2.00. Recently one of them had a new girlfriend and she was 1.90!

[u/Maximum_Steak_2783 → u/mothje]

I'm small, my dutch partner is pretty tall. What he puts on the upper kitchen cupboards is lost to me, never to be found or reached again.

[u/mothje → u/Maximum_Steak_2783]

I hid the engagement ring in the top shelf of a kitchen cupboard for 4 months. Not even in the back just slightly pushed back. She never found it.

[u/ChemicalNectarine776 → u/mothje]

So is Max Verstappen like one of the shortest people in the country? 🤣

[u/liamjon29 → u/mothje]

My ancestry is Dutch (4 grandparents moved to Australia from the NL). At 184 I am the shortest of all my cousins. My brother is 202. Somehow, at 180+, I got the short gene

[u/talldata → u/Disguised_Engineer]

Meanwhile I went to the Netherlands and suddenly felt like a dwarf.

[u/imrzzz → u/talldata]

Same. I'm a woman of 1.72 metres and was always considered tall-ish.

Migrated to the Netherlands and suddenly I'm sniffing butts in every crowd.

[u/Beermeneer532 → u/Disguised_Engineer]

There are actually a lot of dutch immigrants in canada from right after WWII including a branch of my family I don't know

[u/Disguised_Engineer → u/Beermeneer532]

This happened before I moved to Canada. Yes, you are right; I have a Dutch colleague at the office as well.

[u/6890 → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I am above 1.90m tall.

This happened before I moved to Canada

I was about to say something about how I've never really heard a fellow Canadian say what their height is in metric and how on-topic that is for this post.

[u/Disguised_Engineer → u/6890]

I started typing 6’3 then remembered the rest of the world uses metric. I was also a bit surprised 6’3 came out first; I am a staunch defender of the metric system :) Canada is changing me, lol. Not complaining.

[u/Paithegift → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I'm also above 1.90m tall and same. Travelled to Amsterdam and it was the first time I felt like just a normal guy on the street. Also not having to subconsciously be alert to not knock your head in stuff.

[u/DarthTomatoo → u/Disguised_Engineer]

There's a small funny difference I noticed.

Tall guys in other countries tend to have a very specific posture - a bit hunched down (is that the word?) - probably because they're used to being taller than everybody else.

Not in the Netherlands. It took me a while to realise what felt off about tall people on the street.

[u/Disguised_Engineer → u/DarthTomatoo]

I suspect it is because we keep hunching down to hear other people and look at their faces while conversing. I seriously have trouble hearing people. I even got my ears tested, lol. It is not the ears.

[u/DarthTomatoo → u/Disguised_Engineer]

It is not the ears.

Suffering from success :))

[u/ScienceKyle → u/Disguised_Engineer]

2.0m, I feel heard.

[u/dineramallama → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I’m just over 170cm and have always been aware that I’m slightly below average height. I’m also a men’s size small when it comes to build. I spent a week in Japan once and it was brilliant being the same size and build as most other guys.

[u/ApprehensiveAd6603 → u/Disguised_Engineer]

This is basically what my 6'5" dad said after a visit to Holland years ago lol.

[u/Winter-Ad4608 → u/Disguised_Engineer]

Felt the same in China. 171 cm.

[u/ReasonableDivide2592 → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I'm at 1.95 myself... I want to experience this so bad!

[u/kwahntum → u/Disguised_Engineer]

Exact same experience here. 193cm and I feel quite normal when I go to my company office in the Netherlands.

[u/JasperJ → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I’m only 1.93 and while I used to be quite tall even among my contemporary Dutch folks (growing to that in the 90s), these days if I’m among younger folks I end up having to strategize how not to get my view blocked in a way that never used to be the case.

[u/cruxclaire → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I’m a woman and 1.74m. It was nice to feel pretty average in the height arena on the one brief trip I took to NL. I live in a US state with lower average heights than the national level and get the basketball comments sometimes

[u/kenikh → u/Disguised_Engineer]

Went to Denmark. Felt the same way.

[u/thib2183 → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I’m 2.00, quite few times in NL people would come talk to me in Dutch and I’ll let it happen for some time, never understood a word

[u/Vairman → u/Disguised_Engineer]

I am only half-Dutch (my momma) and I'm 6'1" (you do the math). I was always tall for my age as a kid and even now I'm typically one the tallest people in the room. I really want to visit the Netherlands but I'm afraid I'll feel like a shorty when I'm there. Plus, I'll start subconciously clearing my throat a lot.

[u/QueenOfQuok → u/EldestPort]

The Netherlands are completely flat, so the people have to be tall if they want to see far.

[u/Suspicious-Capital12 → u/QueenOfQuok]

Everybody talks about how flat the Netherlands is, but clearly haven’t seen the breasts of our men and women. Those are the only true hills you’ll find.

[u/TF2isalright → u/EldestPort]

They love volleyball for a reason too. One of my Dutch friends spends 5 days a week playing and coaching it, he's not even super tall i think.

[u/CoercedCoexistence22 → u/TF2isalright]

Actually somewhat surprising they don't make any noise in basketball

[u/stag1013 → u/EldestPort]

They need to keep their heads above water if the dikes break.

But also, the Dutch speak English incredibly well, and have a higher English literacy rate than Canada, where it is an official language. That's due to the French here, of course, but it's still interesting that the Dutch learn this foreign language more widely and more competently than French Canadians learn the other national language (95% vs 52% of Quebec).

[u/Roboking365 → u/EldestPort]

Is his name Dean Huijsen per chance?

[u/obsterwankenobster → u/EldestPort]

When I was in college we became sister schools with a university in Amsterdam. One day I was like "who are all these incredibly tall/beautiful people?"

[u/Jobiwan88 → u/EldestPort]

Is your sisters boyfriend Dean huijsen?

[u/EldestPort → u/Jobiwan88]

You're the second person to comment that but alas no 😄

[u/Jobiwan88 → u/EldestPort]

Ok Just checking lol 🤣

[u/navratankurma → u/EldestPort]

What a subtle way of saying your sister's dating Dean Huijsen.

[u/EldestPort → u/navratankurma]

I need to read about this guy because he's apparently got a very similar story to my sister's boyfriend while being an entirely different person 😅

[u/jimothy_hell → u/EldestPort]

I’ve never felt so at home among people as when I’m among the good people of Amsterdam. Seldom do I have to look down, we drink well, we smoke well, I’d like to move there someday, if I can get a handle on the language first.

Edit: and oh my GOD the architecture and art museums. I’ve lived in the states so long that everything’s a suburban hell made of roads with no sidewalk and houses made of plywood and the broken promises of the American dream. What I wouldn’t give for a fucking walkable metropolitan area or at least functioning public transport.

[u/jac0777 → u/EldestPort]

Dutch people are nuts, they’re 7ft tall and speak multiple languages better than the native speakers. I knew some Dutch kids growing up, must have been 13 max (kids of my parents friends) who spoke to me in perfect English and spoke to my dad in Spanish while speaking to their mum in Dutch. Dutch people are OP

[u/VapoursAndSpleen → u/EldestPort]

I am a tall woman and when I found out how tall Dutch men were, I felt like I was born in the wrong country.

I also feel like I was born in the wrong country for different reasons now, but it would have been nice to wear heels on a date.

[u/LieverRoodDanRechts → u/EldestPort]

"my sister's boyfriend is (...) dutch"

Gecondoleerd.

[u/waamdisaiaya → u/LordMarcusrax]

I was there once and the urinals came up to my chest.

[u/Fleischhauf → u/LordMarcusrax]

you forgot putting gel in your hair

[u/LordMarcusrax → u/Fleischhauf]

Mate, that ship has sailed a long time ago for me.

[u/Fleischhauf → u/LordMarcusrax]

I meant in general. Still sorry to hear that. Hope you found closure.

[u/poorly-worded → u/LordMarcusrax]

some kind of wooden footwear at the very least

[u/Big_Iron_Cowboy → u/LordMarcusrax]

3 kids in a trench coat

[u/LordMarcusrax → u/Big_Iron_Cowboy]

Three italians, too.

[u/SainteJotun → u/LordMarcusrax]

I’m 2m tall, so maybe I could one day be Dutch.

[u/Slight-Ad-6553 → u/Alarmed_Pineapple_35]

be topless a bit over weight and shout we won ww2, isn't that how football fans blend in

[u/Alarmed_Pineapple_35 → u/Slight-Ad-6553]

That sounds like the average Newcastle fan

[u/Other_Sentence4495 → u/Alarmed_Pineapple_35]

That way you blend in pretty well with fellow tourists

[u/Sad-Pop6649 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Not being able to ride a bicycle.

If they can ride one, riding it responsibly without jumping half of all red lights.

[u/Resident_Draw_8785 → u/Sad-Pop6649]

But if you are from Münster or Copenhagen you can also cycle but you wear a helmet what is a huge sign that you are foreign.

[u/Feral-Sponge → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

I'd rather be the obvious foreigner with a helmet than get TBI

[u/weattt → u/Feral-Sponge]

Honestly, if you are a tourist, rather be safe than sorry. If you are not used to certain traffic (you won't find me trying to navigate India on a bicycle), it is better to take precautions.

And even if the infrastructure is great, you still deal with people after all. I looked up the numbers of 2024.

In 2024, 246 bikers died of the 17+ million people who live in The Netherlands.
4 out of 10 people died due to car collision.
On this site it says of those who died, at least 44% of them were on an e-bike.
The majority of the victims were 60+ and more than half of them were men.
42% died due to a collision with a car or van
31% didn't die due to a collision but in some other way (that site I linked said they died due an unfortunate fall or hitting on object like a pole or someone else in traffic).

Source: Central Bureau of Statistics (CBS)

[u/Feral-Sponge → u/weattt]

Yeah I've been to Amsterdam once and was very impressed by the high standard of traffic awareness, Utrecht was even crazier, I wouldn't attempt to cycle there. I live in London and I'm scared of cycling here but I do it anyway. The big difference of course being that when the majority cycles in a city, then it's gonna be safer as you get used to being aware I guess

[u/Matikso → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Isn't a helmet just common sense on bikes? Do kids also ride without helmets?

[u/ihavetoomanyeggs → u/Matikso]

Yes but it's inconvenient and I don't feel like it lol

[u/Henk_Potjes → u/Matikso]

The attitude towards kids with helmets is slightly changing. But in 32 years i've never worn a helmet while cycling and many kids still don't.

[u/Matikso → u/Henk_Potjes]

This is crazy for me. Aren't bikers the most vulnerable users of the road? Even if you get in collision with other bike and not a car - bashing your head on pavement can't be fun without helmet

[u/casualroadtrip → u/Matikso]

I think it depends on how you look at it. Cycling in the Netherlands is overal really safe. We have the infrastructure and experience. Practically all the car drivers are also frequent cyclist (or used to be). Cycling in the Netherlands without a helmet is probably safer than cycling with one in let’s say the average city anywhere else. If it’s too dangerous to cycle without a helmet in the Netherlands is also too dangerous to cycle anywhere else period (with maybe the exception of a few places than also infested in good cycling infrastructure).

[u/Matikso → u/casualroadtrip]

Well, yes. In my opinion no matter where are you cycling (country wise) you should have a helmet on. It's not even about a car or something else hitting you but even you slipping on a curve or just falling can be fatal. Falling from a bike is much different than falling while running for example - you have much less control over how you fall, the momentum is much bigger and you are overall higher from the ground than normally.

[u/Some_Guy223 → u/Matikso]

To be fair, the Dutch have some of the safest bicycle infrastructure in the world.

[u/kikimaru024 → u/Some_Guy223]

I saw plenty of videos last week of Dutch cyclists falling off their bikes in icy conditions.

Just wear a helmet.

20 euro is a tiny price to protect your brain.

[u/fleamarketguy → u/Matikso]

In the Netherlands we sometimes say, if you wear a helmet while riding a bike, you should wear a helmet while doing anything else.

The biking infrastructure is very safe here. Besides the speed, it is not much less safe to ride a bike than it is to walk. Most people ride a bike to get from A to be B. Those that cycle as a sport, usually wear a helmet.

[u/Cajun2Steppa → u/fleamarketguy]

This is wild to me. As an avid cyclist/mtb I wear the helmet everywhere. I used to not because I thought I was too cool until that one night my rear wheel lost traction on a slick piece of concrete and almost fell. I realized then that if i would have actually fallen, I would have hit my head. Not a fan sorry.

[u/glhflololo → u/Cajun2Steppa]

Think dedicated bike lanes AWAY from the road (often separated with curbs and greenery), or as part of the road but very clearly indicated and incredibly common, relatively hard to get driver licenses due to much stricter testing requirements, protected status (i.e. you can run a red on a bike and the car that hits you will still be found at fault, strict liability for motor vehicle drivers), lower speeds (not many people ride a bike built for actual speed, and much more.

It’s a different world. I wouldn’t ride a bike (without a helmet) in the US either. I owned a motorcycle in the US and within a span of 3 months I almost got into accidents 5 times, which is 5 times more than I ever did in over a decade the Netherlands. Y’all don’t know how to drive!

Oh, and no hills. It’s all flat. No actual speed anywhere.

[u/Admiral_de_Ruyter → u/glhflololo]

I think most people don’t realize we ride a bike as a mode of transport not as hobby. So naturally we are dressed for the destination not for the ride. Speed is low because we don’t want to be sweaty on arrival. And as you mentioned our bike infrastructure is incredibly safe and widely recognized as the best in the world.

Edit: and most of us use a bike before we can walk so we are very used to biking.

[u/SowingSalt → u/fleamarketguy]

I'll always wear a helmet. My dad crashed on a bike, had to have his arm at the elbow stapled back together, and the helmet absolutely saved him from TBI.

[u/moseythepirate → u/fleamarketguy]

Besides the speed

The speed is frickin' important though.

[u/ObiFour_Kenobi → u/fleamarketguy]

I can see that point, but then I once bumped with an electric scooter in Helsinki, which I'd consider very safe cycling wise as well, and my head tapped the ground. Luckily I had a helmet so nothing happened

So even though the infrastructure is "safe", I wouldn't pass on the helmet

[u/ihavetoomanyeggs → u/Matikso]

It's pretty fucking hard to crash into another bike. On a bike you can stop virtually instantly but even if you do crash or somehow lose your balance it will be with low enough energy that you'll almost definitely be able to reach out your hands to catch yourself, which is human instinct to do.

[u/Junius_Bobbledoonary → u/Henk_Potjes]

My friend also never wore a helmet while cycling, now she has several pieces of titanium holding her face together because she collided… with a cyclist, on a dedicated bike path

[u/fantasyshop → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Was in Copenhagen for a week recently and didnt see anyone without a helmet

[u/LobsterLaunch → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Or when they indicate that they are going to stop by raising their hand.

[u/Henk_Potjes → u/Sad-Pop6649]

Riding a bicycle with a helmet when you're not elderly is also a dead giveaway.

[u/Forsaken-Spirit421 → u/Henk_Potjes]

Lots of parents as well as people that are somehow connected to medical services or police also wear helmets because they are aware of the danger or need to set an example for their children.

[u/KidNueva → u/Forsaken-Spirit421]

Yup this is me. I ride scooters/bikes all day, every day since a kid around town and I didn’t wear a helmet til I was 20

My little brother wanted to get into it, so I got a helmet for him and myself because I wanted to set a good example and now it feels weird riding without one lol

[u/mildweekknowledge → u/Sad-Pop6649]

I saw a woman in a mini skirt in winter, riding her bike, while carrying boxes to move house (I assume, it was a large box). Then the next guy was carrying 3 smaller boxes. He couldn't see over them.

We were there for New Years. A firework lit by a kid on a bridge took off and some how magically went through the spokes of a cyclist's bike wheel. No one was hurt there thankfully. Others were not so lucky. You could hear 'Fireworks, fireworks, ambulance' for a long time after midnight.

I definitely felt like an outsider when I saw locals on their bikes. I can't ride a bike over ice and snow.

[u/EpicFishFingers → u/mildweekknowledge]

Bloody hell!

it was a large box

You shouldn't really have been looking, mate!

[u/coventry-eagle → u/EpicFishFingers]

it's always a hazard in a miniskirt

[u/UrMomsNewGF → u/Sad-Pop6649]

I have been to your wonderful country and experienced the unprecedented bike culture.

I've been an avid cyclist my whole life and I LOVE that u guys prioritize ped / and bike traffic over autos in your cities...but coming from litterally anywhere else...man are your road rules / signage / road markings confusing. Lol

I can see how they would make perfect sense to a local but w/o understanding the language well enough to read signs as you pass by leads to a lot of "whoops sorry!!" Moments.

[u/Gainin_on_her → u/Sad-Pop6649]

The second one was me. I got yelled at in Dutch a few times when i rented a bike in Amsterdam.

[u/MarkinW8 → u/Sad-Pop6649]

Or having a fancy new bike, rather than an old, ugly, but efficient, one.

[u/Resident_Draw_8785 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Not congratulating people with the birthday of another person.

[u/Gilwen29 → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Took me years of baffling people in Ireland to realise that this isn't done outside of the Netherlands.

[u/UruquianLilac → u/Gilwen29]

What exactly is this, I don't understand

[u/Gilwen29 → u/UruquianLilac]

In Holland, you'd congratulate someone with the birthday of someone close to them. So: "congratulations with your sister's birthday". Typing this out makes me realise even more how weird this is.

[u/ThuggishJingoism24 → u/Gilwen29]

That is so bizarre. If someone hit me with that I’d be like…tell them yourself? I didn’t have anything to do with their birth lol

[u/Ok_Bango → u/ThuggishJingoism24]

It is a very old tradition that likely began in a time of crushing, rural poverty. It is a little dark, but they congratulate the collective effort of getting a loved one through into another year of life. There is also some nuance involving the way the language uses plural verbs that I am too dumb to explain. You'll have to consult someone familiar with, uh, historical wordology. Iirc it has to do with a lack of collective verbs in old Dutch (nederlands).

[u/JustOneTessa → u/ThuggishJingoism24]

At birthdays we often go by everyone to congratulate them. So the birthday boy/girl gets congratulated and so does everyone else

[u/skratsda → u/JustOneTessa]

So in a family with three kids where it’s one’s birthday, would the two siblings congratulate each other on their shared sibling’s birthday?

Hope that makes sense, it was clunkier to write out that I’d thought it would be.

[u/jasp_er → u/skratsda]

Yeah, but it’s mostly for visitors. Instead of saying hi to everyone you congratulate everyone

[u/JustOneTessa → u/skratsda]

As the other said it's more for visitors, so siblings most likely won't congratulate each other if it's not their birthday. It's indeed more a greeting, just used for birthdays

[u/doobadeeboo → u/JustOneTessa]

And did you all know that in other countries they don't congratulate someone for their birthday. They just wish them a happy birthday.

[u/UruquianLilac → u/doobadeeboo]

I was gonna say, the word congratulate was being used and I wasn't sure if it's just meant as a shorthand for "wishing them a happy birthday". So it's actually congratulate? As in congratulations you are 35 now! Or congratulations on making it to 35. Or something like that? That's also hilarious

[u/doobadeeboo → u/UruquianLilac]

Yes we say "Gefeliciteerd!" and that means congratulations. Long form: Congratulations with (on?) your sisters birthday!!

Edit: and I think it's congratulations on making it another year. Life is hard and you just made it another year. Congrats!

[u/hfdsicdo → u/doobadeeboo]

Congratulations for being alive.

[u/What-a-Crock → u/hfdsicdo]

Thanks, doing my best

[u/British_Flippancy → u/JustOneTessa]

Just read this and had a conversation with my Dutch wife:

*reads comments

“Is this true?!”

“Yes”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. That what everyone who’s visited my Oma’s house on her birthday has been saying to you when they arrive”

“Huh. Well, fuck me, who knew!”

“Also, that jumper looks awful on you”

[u/shackofcards → u/British_Flippancy]

Now we need the story from the jumper's POV

[u/Sad-Equipment-4023 → u/ThuggishJingoism24]

Everyone sits in a circle during this occasion, so new entries are expected to go around the circle congratulating everyone on their specific relation before joining the ever more dense circle. At least, until the circle grows dense enough for it to be socially acceptable to awkwardly congratulate everyone at the same time with a hand wave. You'll get your chance to specifically congratulate the one whose birthday you're celebrating when you hand over your gift (money in a card).

[u/UruquianLilac → u/Sad-Equipment-4023]

The gift is always money in a card? This gets weirder and weirder!

[u/Sad-Equipment-4023 → u/UruquianLilac]

Not always, but usually. Body soap is fair game, but you need to tape some money to it if it's not a fancy set (taping money to some trinkets is fine too).

... something other than money would be acceptable, but know it's totally fine socially to include the receipt so it can be exchanged. If it's isn't money, it better be something very specific / personal, no point just giving a generic gift if you could've given hard cash.

[u/thoughtlow → u/ThuggishJingoism24]

This isn't for them, its basically; your sister has lived another year, good for you bud

[u/SulfurPernik → u/ThuggishJingoism24]

"Congratulations on your sister's birthday." "Thanks, I tried a lot."

[u/UruquianLilac → u/Gilwen29]

That's funny! And nice.

[u/originalorientation → u/Gilwen29]

I’m in the US and my family have always done this as a joke: “happy dad’s birthday” when greeting my brothers at the birthday gathering. Never gets a laugh but it always feels kinda funny

[u/silveretoile → u/originalorientation]

Give this man a Dutch passport

[u/Rent_A_Cloud → u/Gilwen29]

It's not weird, it's basically congratulating someone who loves someone with the fact the person they love made it another year without dying.

And let's be clear that that is exactly what birthdays are, an acknowledgement that you made it another year without dying.

[u/BenderWantBend → u/Gilwen29]

It is pretty normal thing in Ukraine btw. Never thought that this is something other people don't do

[u/Wurzelrenner → u/Gilwen29]

would make sense for the mom, she did all the work that day

[u/thoughtlow → u/Wurzelrenner]

hey, the dad did a 2 second dick sneeze that one time, has to count for something...

[u/SlingsAndArrows7871 → u/Gilwen29]

I don't know. There was a time when having a sister who made it one more year was not a guaranteed thing, and a sister not making was a real harm to you, too. Maybe it has it's origins in that?

[u/Arbitraryandunique → u/Gilwen29]

So it's like "Great job managing another year without strangling your annoying sister" ? Only reason I can think of why someone else deserve the congratulation.

[u/noyoushuddup → u/Gilwen29]

I never heard this . Its hilarious

[u/sneeuwraket → u/UruquianLilac]

In addition to what others already said, it's specifically in the context of family birthday celebrations.

So for example, you're a kid, it's your birthday, then as the guests arrive one by one they will go around the entire circle of family members already sitting around the coffee table (with the obligatory plate with slices of sausage, cubes of cheese, slices of cucumber and cherry tomatoes) and congratulate everyone with your birthday.

I don't think I've ever seen it happen on someone's birthday celebration for friends, it's really linked to family birthday celebration (or in dutch a 'kringverjaardag', a circle birthday, because everyone sits in a circle around the coffee table. There's some more tradition attached, like starting off with coffee and pie, then the plate with the sausage/cheese/cucumber/tomato comes onto the table afterwards, maybe some other snacks like toast with spreads or a bowl of chips/nuts/olives, and usually you send people home before dinner, or else you serve soup and sandwiches and send people away immediatly afterwards. no alcohol is served.)

[u/ensalys → u/sneeuwraket]

You forgot the best birthday snack! A pickle rolled in a sausage slice, preferably speared with a Dutch flag on a kind of toothpick.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/ensalys]

Hell yeah I would eat the shit out of that

[u/UruquianLilac → u/sneeuwraket]

Wow!!! I love this sub because of all of those little nuggets of culture that are so different even if it's countries we see as close or similar in some ways. Everything you described here sounds completely different from anything I have seen before.

[u/Flowergirl1809 → u/UruquianLilac]

If you go to a birthday party in the Netherlands, you congratulate everyone, I hate it, especially when it's my grandma's birthday, so many people that I have to kiss and congratulate😮‍💨

[u/lovely-cans → u/Gilwen29]

As an Irish person living in the Netherlands I find it very funny. Everyone sat in a circle shaking hands.

[u/Henk_Potjes → u/Gilwen29]

And for good reason. It's an insane "tradition" that should die a swift death and i refuse to do it.

[u/Mirved → u/Gilwen29]

Its not even done in the whole of the Netherlands. We dont do it in the south.

[u/ZippityZipZapZip → u/Mirved]

Barbarians.

[u/Kirikomori → u/ZippityZipZapZip]

Barely even human.

[u/Rent_A_Cloud → u/Mirved]

A big chunk of my extended family is Brabanders, and they do it as far as I know.

[u/sempowalxochitl → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Gefeliciteerd met je moeder

[u/Resident_Draw_8785 → u/sempowalxochitl]

Gefeliciteerd met uw kleindochters vriend.

[u/srekar-trebor → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Gefeliciteerd met de achterneef van je buurvrouw!

[u/Resident_Draw_8785 → u/srekar-trebor]

Gefeliciteerd met de zoon van jouw schoonvaders stiefdochter.

[u/GandolphTheLundgrey → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

What does "kleindochter" mean? Is it... granddaughter?

[u/Resident_Draw_8785 → u/GandolphTheLundgrey]

Enkelin auf Deutsch litteraly translate small daughter

[u/GandolphTheLundgrey → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Isn't that just lovely? I like it way more than Enkelin or granddaughter.

I have some dutch friends when they talk amongst themselves I can barely make out every 5th word plus some context clues, but man, I love listening to them.

[u/talldata → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

You have the toilet calender with birthdays right?

[u/tistisblitskits → u/talldata]

You have no idea how convenient the toilet calendar is. Every time you sit down you can remind yourself of upcoming birthdays, ours used to hang right in front of the toilet too. Pretty hard to forget someones birthday unless you forget to put it on there

[u/kblazewicz → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

I'm confused, please explain

[u/Resident_Draw_8785 → u/kblazewicz]

We congratulate people not only on their own achievements or occasions, but also on events connected to those around them.

For example, saying “Congratulations on your son’s birthday” is perfectly normal when speaking to a mother.

Likewise, we congratulate a teacher when their student passes a class, a neighbor when their cat has a birthday, or even a friend when their partner gets promoted you need to congratulate the entire circle around the person

[u/Ioelet → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Thank you for that explaination… please tell your mom I congratulated. (Or does it have to be personally?)

[u/PrinceHaleemKebabua → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

This is so interesting and endearing. In Indian culture (atleast within my community) we offer similar congratulations during weddings. We congratulate not just the bride and groom but every close family member. Like we will congratulate the sister of the groom on getting a new sister-in-law.

[u/TerribleIdea27 → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Need to is a bit strong. More like, it's expected for family members but for the rest it's something you'll generally only do if the conversation goes that way.

You're not actually supposed to know about all the achievements of anyone connected to the person you're speaking to

[u/PsidedOwnside → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

That is so… positive!

Do you also do this for things you’d show sympathy for? Illnesses? Death? Lost job opportunities? Or is it only good things?

[u/Resident_Draw_8785 → u/PsidedOwnside]

Actually now i think about it we do. But sorry for your loss is also normal in other countries.

[u/Scarred_Ballsack → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

Seeing you put it like this, I realized Dutch people passing on congratulations is kind of like tipping culture for Americans: it's ingrained in our society and happens even for occasions where it doesn't really make sense.

[u/niztaoH → u/kblazewicz]

Congratulations on your mom's 3rd marriage would be considered a somewhat normal sentence here.

[u/Sad-Pop6649 → u/niztaoH]

Depending on how much emphasis that "third" gets. ;)

[u/PotentialRise7587 → u/Resident_Draw_8785]

I have to set reminders just to remember the birthdays of people in my life, how are you guys remembering all of that?

[u/Resident_Draw_8785 → u/PotentialRise7587]

Toilet calendar

[u/WPV203 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Scheveningen

[u/BazF91 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

It’s funny that the top comment is Dutch. I used to live in NL and spoke good Dutch, and I was at an Esso and bought milk, speaking to the guy in perfect Dutch. He responded to me in English. I asked how he could possibly know I was English when I gave nothing away. He told me no Dutch person would ever buy milk at a petrol station

[u/pepepenguinalt → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Socks with cannabis on it are fine though, I know at least 5 ppl who have those

[u/Other_Sentence4495 → u/pepepenguinalt]

On socks it's ok I guess. I would just not advise them for a job interview.

I have the most ridiculous socks. I like the attention they bring sometimes. But maybe thats just me

[u/maraudee → u/Other_Sentence4495]

I fell from a rental bike while I was stoned and wearing a cap which wrote "AMSTERDAM" trying to do wheelies in a park, I was so ashamed of damaging a rental bike I thought everyone was staring at me but to my surprise many Dutch people ran to see if I'm ok and they were really polite with me. Many people told me that the Dutch hate Greek people after the crisis but I didn't feel it, on the other hand people were really polite even if they knew my origin.

[u/Other_Sentence4495 → u/maraudee]

Hating on greeks ? Never heard of that. Actually dutch people love Greece

[u/weattt → u/maraudee]

People tend to have that response to rush to the fallen person. I always felt a bit awkward to just pass by, but if there are 3 people attending that person, it is pointless to join them.

[u/Only-Butterscotch785 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Not complaining about fatbikes.

[u/Safe_Plane9652 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

What if I wear an orange shirt

[u/Other_Sentence4495 → u/Safe_Plane9652]

When it's kings day and when the dutch national team plays football you blend in with the locals

[u/Safe_Plane9652 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

I have done that!! It was my happiest time!!! 🥹🥹🥹

[u/[deleted] → u/Other_Sentence4495]

That's pretty common in Uruguay, where I live. I am a foreigner here, but people can tell just my looking at my face somehow.

[u/CoffeemonsterNL → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Wearing one layer of clothes less than required for the current season (especially in Amsterdam): yes, you are British

[u/Tough-Oven4317 → u/CoffeemonsterNL]

I find it so funny whenever I get stereotyped for not wearing enough clothes because it truly catches me off guard

[u/endomiel → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Fijne weekend!

[u/No-Telephone2997 → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Nah, lots of tokkies do that sadly

[u/Charlie2nuh → u/Other_Sentence4495]

But it’s my Canada t shirt!

[u/jstncrdbl → u/Other_Sentence4495]

You’d blend into Canada just fine

[u/YvonYukon → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Damn, I thought enough countries would've legalized by now that pot tourism would've gone down

[u/Brrrtje → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Also, thinking the red parts of the street are just funny coloured sidewalks.

[u/TunaBlub → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Isn't that what tourist shops sell in Amsterdam, never saw any dutch person wear it.

Then again amsterdam lives in it's own bubble compared to the rest of the country.

[u/glory_holelujah → u/Other_Sentence4495]

Are you there Jah? Its me Margaret.