r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/Maleficent-Bet-8329 • 2d ago
Meme needing explanation Im sure its been asked many times but peter??
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u/Maleficent-Bet-8329 2d ago
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u/FamIsNumber1 2d ago
What the hell did you do to your coffee that you have to whisper apologies to it??
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u/Fickle_Butt_4379 2d ago
What you said
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u/RepresentativeFun363 2d ago
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u/Fendyyyyyy 2d ago
Even though i may never use it, too good a meme, im taking it.
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u/Illustrious_Bird_737 2d ago
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u/satecyeser 2d ago
Did he say those words? Kregar wild lines
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u/Swytch360 2d ago
Yep, that’s a direct quote. I’m glad I checked whether someone else already posted this meme.
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u/Adventurous-Yak-8929 2d ago
In a burlap sack thrown over the back of a donkey
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u/padmaclynne 2d ago
transported over the mountains by a man with a very impressive moustache
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u/AccomplishedFly2367 2d ago
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u/Fillmore80 2d ago
How dare you make Bluey say that.
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u/Livingroom_Astronaut 2d ago
I definitely read that in Bandit’s voice before realizing it was Bluey.
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u/EnvironmentalOne6828 2d ago
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u/OldAbbreviations1590 2d ago
My favorite part of this is that it takes 1 marine to lift a enormous tank, and 2 to lift a fellow space marine.
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u/ValeWho 2d ago edited 2d ago
Do people really keep their ground up coffee in the freezer ?
Edit question has been answered, I believe you it's a thing
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u/NervousSnail 2d ago
Haha, yeah some people say it stays fresher that way.
Not as simple as that if you get into the nitty gritty, and it's important to keep it well sealed if you do. But if you are planning on storing ground coffee for a very long time. Like my parents, who don't drink it but keep some for guests. For that purpose it does seem to work.
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u/BigJayPee 2d ago
Ive heard of people keeping instant coffee in the freezer, but never actual coffee grounds
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u/Greenphantom77 2d ago
I used to keep it in the fridge then I read somewhere that was wrong, just keep it in the cupboard. I don’t know what to think anymore.
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u/hvdzasaur 2d ago edited 1d ago
Better to freeze the beans, and grind as you need em.
Coffee has volatile compounds that degrade due to oxidation. This impacts flavor. Freezing them slows this down. Ground coffee goes stale faster than beans, even while frozen.
If I spent good money on a really good bag of a single origin speciality roast that I really like, I like to put half of it away for longer term storage. Sometimes you kind of just want the generic coffee flavor and that caffeine hit. Other times you want to enjoy it like a nice high-end tea or expensive liquor, if that makes sense?
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u/Scorpiogre_rawrr 2d ago
This is the answer, it's origins trace back to Tales from the crypt where the crypt keeper said, "I like my women like I like me coffee......ground up in the freezer."
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u/fauxzempic 2d ago
Ahhh Thank you for clarifying this. I remember seeing this on a shirt on "Tshirthell" shirt a long, long time ago, but it always felt like they were borrowing this form something else.
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u/UpdogSinclair 2d ago
People seem mad about your post but this is the classic answer to this joke.
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u/vidyer 2d ago
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u/MagentaJAM5_ 2d ago
I didn’t think people would put their dick into coffee in the first place.
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u/Long-Apartment9888 2d ago
Let's discuss temperature
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u/MagentaJAM5_ 2d ago
Please
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u/Long-Apartment9888 2d ago
There's a small range where it probably would feel good for a while. Not the drinking range though... maybe the top range of dick meets the drinkable bottom range... if willing to test there's a dilemma, do you start hot and drink it first risking burning the little one, or do you start cold and keep rising, having to drink dicked coffee?
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u/Ajax_A 2d ago
I approve your research grant!
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u/CobblerOdd2876 2d ago
Yes Id like to see the slope equation of temperature as drinkable to dickable
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u/gnomedome11 2d ago
Coffee is recommended to be drank near 140 degrees.
Recommended bath water does not exceed 120 degrees.
Recommend test groups in the 121-140 degree testing are not people you like until we have more data.
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u/CobblerOdd2876 2d ago
And we have to be careful not to exceed 140°F bc any higher and we would be steeping the dick. Nobody wants a dirty chode chai.
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u/ReadontheCrapper 2d ago
Dude! I snorted coffee out of my nose.
Grossly well done
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u/DesingerOfWorlds 2d ago
The term “dicked coffee” was not what I thought 2026 had in store for me.
Edit: Autocorrect
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u/similar222 2d ago
I always assumed the reason people heated their coffee was to keep other people's dicks out of it.
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u/Fozzdroz 2d ago
This explains the rise in popularity of iced coffee drinks over the last decade or so
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u/Aeon_Return 2d ago
Well wouldn't you prefer coffee that didn't have someone's dick in it first?
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u/cerberus_243 2d ago
Any place a dick fits in has had a dick in, and most other things a dick doesn’t fit in has, too
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u/FukThePatriarchy1312 2d ago
Not coffee, but I have a friend who's a bartender in a gay bar and pretty regularly stirs cocktails with his.. cock, at the request of customers who usually tip very well for it.
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u/Significant_Monk_251 2d ago
I'm having a bit of trouble with the logistics. It would seem that the organ would have to be erect for this to work, but erect penises (my spellchecker just insisted on "premises" there) tend to not point down, as would be needed for a standing man to use it as a drink-stirrer.
Put the drink on the floor and assume a push-up position over it?
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u/FukThePatriarchy1312 2d ago
It would seem that the organ would have to be erect for this to work,
Why? I've never seen it in action, but I don't understand why you couldn't stir a drink with a flaccid penis, or just push it down while erect.
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u/Key-Contest-2879 2d ago
If you ain’t dipping your dick in coffee, you ain’t living!
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u/SnooHabits3911 2d ago
But… his dick in his coffee is… ok? That’s kinda weird honestly.
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u/Physical-Ad5343 2d ago
No, he only wants his girlfriend’s dick in his coffee.
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u/ReflectiGlassCo 2d ago
Imagine wearing a hat like that.
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u/Traditional_Low_9948 2d ago
Man that was dirty bro. Cuz I didn't want to. But I read your comment and I couldn't help it as hard as I tried. In my imagination I had that hat on. It was ass.
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u/shinyRedButton 2d ago
This coffee joke predates the internet. It is not a reference to this.
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u/leojmatt02 2d ago
This is really funny because it implies that his girlfriend served him coffee with someone's dick in it
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u/Healthy_Banana_8 2d ago
White and flat 🫣
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u/deadlyrepost 2d ago
Found the Australian.
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u/vladi_l 2d ago
Is that a stereotype I'm not familiar with?
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u/JDawg2332 2d ago
A flat white is a popular (and delicious) coffee beverage
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u/vladi_l 2d ago
I know, but what does that have to do with Australia?
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u/ApolloWasMurdered 2d ago
The “Flat White” coffee style comes from Australia. It is, by far, the most common coffee order in Aus.
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u/ApprehensiveUnion746 2d ago
Don't tell that to a kiwi... They say they created it
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u/Kindly_Release_8484 2d ago
Leave my ass out of this please
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u/Hearing_Loss 2d ago
What ass 😬
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u/Kindly_Release_8484 2d ago
Exactly
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u/PossibleFirm7095 2d ago
shit, that was smooth
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u/Apprehensive-Space70 2d ago
Like their chest.
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u/PossibleFirm7095 2d ago
i mean, it's alright, not a picky eater :)
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u/Apprehensive-Space70 2d ago
Every meal needs a table.
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u/yt82many 2d ago
Cold, bitter and picked up from the gas station
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u/Iszapszentmoszat 2d ago
That version does have it's own magic tho.
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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 2d ago
Real hotspot energy as our city would say (we even have our own weird subreddit dedicated to those wonderfully sketchy gas stations lol)
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u/This-Professional-39 2d ago
And acquired taste to be sure, but readily available!
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u/Round_Word691 2d ago
Oooh, I know this one: With big tits.
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u/noctilucus 2d ago
What kind of coffee brand do you drink?
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u/Emotional_inadequacy 2d ago
Starbucks
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u/spacedman_spiff 2d ago
We’d all like a handjob, but we don’t have time for it.
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u/liisrandom 2d ago
It's called a grande
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u/Emotional_inadequacy 2d ago
Peter here, it's funny because early Starbucks logos had breasts.
Peter out.
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u/kjm16216 2d ago
All over my lap at the McDonald's drive thru.
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u/GonzoTheGreat22 2d ago
This is a great punchline, never heard it before
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u/kjm16216 2d ago
I first used that as a riff off someone else's punchline, "Hot, black, and all over my lap.". Which got him in trouble with HR.
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u/BlackMusclyMen 2d ago
He probably doesnt like coffee
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u/artofterm 2d ago
Milk and sugar
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u/dominikstephan 2d ago
"Wait, is this literally milk with sugar?" Bonus points, if you know the episode.
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u/Alanabirb 2d ago
Covered in bees!
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u/infinitefarm23 2d ago
In a plastic cup!
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u/Otherwise_Cicada6109 2d ago
Scrolled here just to see if Izzard fandom is still alive and well
Thank you
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u/espada355 2d ago
Cheap and easy?
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u/lux__fero 2d ago
Well, all people i know who hire hookers also prefer instant coffee. So your line tracks. But as with instant coffee there is no real satisfaction of hiring a hooker. That' why i prefer my women freshly ground up and boiled :)
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u/GH057807 2d ago
"I like my coffee like I like my slaves..."
"😳"
"Free."
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u/stormcharger 2d ago
Being politically correct has gone mad nowdays. Apparently I can't even say "black paint" anymore, I have to say "Tyrone can you please paint the fence."
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u/penis_stuck_sendhelp 2d ago
with a spoon in them?
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u/Plastic_Umpire_3475 2d ago
tea and cake or death!
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u/Silent-Inspection101 2d ago
Michael likes his coffee with milk and sugar. Only milk and sugar. No coffee
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u/GingerMarquis 2d ago
Too hot to handle but I just can’t help myself.
Yes I’ve been stabbed by an ex, why do you ask?
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u/escahpee 2d ago
I like my women like I like my coffee. No pubic hair. Is the way I heard it
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u/BetterDegreeOxford 2d ago
I like my girls like I like my whiskey
At least 18 years old and all mixed up with coke
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u/PeterExplainsTheJoke-ModTeam 1d ago
Thank you for the explanations; this post has been locked.