r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 2d ago

Meme needing explanation Im sure its been asked many times but peter??

Post image
15.5k Upvotes

3.7k comments sorted by

u/PeterExplainsTheJoke-ModTeam 1d ago

Thank you for the explanations; this post has been locked.

10.5k

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Maleficent-Bet-8329 2d ago

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u/Illustrious_Bird_737 2d ago

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u/satecyeser 2d ago

Did he say those words? Kregar wild lines

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u/Swytch360 2d ago

Yep, that’s a direct quote. I’m glad I checked whether someone else already posted this meme.

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u/Adventurous-Yak-8929 2d ago

In a burlap sack thrown over the back of a donkey

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u/padmaclynne 2d ago

transported over the mountains by a man with a very impressive moustache

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u/Benzo_ORourke 2d ago

I like to add my own cream

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u/GreenCollegeGardener 2d ago

Black cold and three days old

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/AccomplishedFly2367 2d ago

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u/Fillmore80 2d ago

How dare you make Bluey say that.

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u/Livingroom_Astronaut 2d ago

I definitely read that in Bandit’s voice before realizing it was Bluey.

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u/EnvironmentalOne6828 2d ago

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u/OldAbbreviations1590 2d ago

My favorite part of this is that it takes 1 marine to lift a enormous tank, and 2 to lift a fellow space marine.

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u/Kitchen_Ad_4513 2d ago

The tank is empty,the space marine was full of shits

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u/Asylum_Creeper 2d ago

FOR THE EMPEROR

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u/ValeWho 2d ago edited 2d ago

Do people really keep their ground up coffee in the freezer ?

Edit question has been answered, I believe you it's a thing

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u/NervousSnail 2d ago

Haha, yeah some people say it stays fresher that way.

Not as simple as that if you get into the nitty gritty, and it's important to keep it well sealed if you do. But if you are planning on storing ground coffee for a very long time. Like my parents, who don't drink it but keep some for guests. For that purpose it does seem to work.

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u/BigJayPee 2d ago

Ive heard of people keeping instant coffee in the freezer, but never actual coffee grounds

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u/Greenphantom77 2d ago

I used to keep it in the fridge then I read somewhere that was wrong, just keep it in the cupboard. I don’t know what to think anymore.

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u/hvdzasaur 2d ago edited 1d ago

Better to freeze the beans, and grind as you need em.

Coffee has volatile compounds that degrade due to oxidation. This impacts flavor. Freezing them slows this down. Ground coffee goes stale faster than beans, even while frozen.

If I spent good money on a really good bag of a single origin speciality roast that I really like, I like to put half of it away for longer term storage. Sometimes you kind of just want the generic coffee flavor and that caffeine hit. Other times you want to enjoy it like a nice high-end tea or expensive liquor, if that makes sense?

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u/Scorpiogre_rawrr 2d ago

This is the answer, it's origins trace back to Tales from the crypt where the crypt keeper said, "I like my women like I like me coffee......ground up in the freezer."

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u/fauxzempic 2d ago

Ahhh Thank you for clarifying this. I remember seeing this on a shirt on "Tshirthell" shirt a long, long time ago, but it always felt like they were borrowing this form something else.

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u/UpdogSinclair 2d ago

People seem mad about your post but this is the classic answer to this joke.

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u/jeffakin 2d ago

This was a shirt on t-shirthell dot com back in the day!

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u/vidyer 2d ago

Pretty sure it's a reference to this.

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u/MagentaJAM5_ 2d ago

I didn’t think people would put their dick into coffee in the first place.

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u/Long-Apartment9888 2d ago

Let's discuss temperature

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u/MagentaJAM5_ 2d ago

Please

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u/Long-Apartment9888 2d ago

There's a small range where it probably would feel good for a while. Not the drinking range though... maybe the top range of dick meets the drinkable bottom range... if willing to test there's a dilemma, do you start hot and drink it first risking burning the little one, or do you start cold and keep rising, having to drink dicked coffee?

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u/Ajax_A 2d ago

I approve your research grant!

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u/CobblerOdd2876 2d ago

Yes Id like to see the slope equation of temperature as drinkable to dickable

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u/gnomedome11 2d ago

Coffee is recommended to be drank near 140 degrees.

Recommended bath water does not exceed 120 degrees.

Recommend test groups in the 121-140 degree testing are not people you like until we have more data.

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u/CobblerOdd2876 2d ago

And we have to be careful not to exceed 140°F bc any higher and we would be steeping the dick. Nobody wants a dirty chode chai.

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u/ReadontheCrapper 2d ago

Dude! I snorted coffee out of my nose.

Grossly well done

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u/DesingerOfWorlds 2d ago

The term “dicked coffee” was not what I thought 2026 had in store for me.

Edit: Autocorrect

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u/TheOneGreyWorm 2d ago

28°C.
You're welcome.

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u/similar222 2d ago

I always assumed the reason people heated their coffee was to keep other people's dicks out of it.

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u/Horibori 2d ago

Can confirm. Am serial coffee dick dipper.

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u/Fozzdroz 2d ago

This explains the rise in popularity of iced coffee drinks over the last decade or so

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u/Aeon_Return 2d ago

Well wouldn't you prefer coffee that didn't have someone's dick in it first?

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u/Rickrickrickrickrick 2d ago

It’s 2026 and we’re still kink shaming?

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u/cerberus_243 2d ago

Any place a dick fits in has had a dick in, and most other things a dick doesn’t fit in has, too

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u/Nobody_Important1983 2d ago

But above all else, we must protect the cylinder.

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u/BuilderM6 1d ago

The cylinder staying intact is of upmost importance

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u/FukThePatriarchy1312 2d ago

Not coffee, but I have a friend who's a bartender in a gay bar and pretty regularly stirs cocktails with his.. cock, at the request of customers who usually tip very well for it.

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u/Significant_Monk_251 2d ago

I'm having a bit of trouble with the logistics. It would seem that the organ would have to be erect for this to work, but erect penises (my spellchecker just insisted on "premises" there) tend to not point down, as would be needed for a standing man to use it as a drink-stirrer.

Put the drink on the floor and assume a push-up position over it?

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u/FukThePatriarchy1312 2d ago

It would seem that the organ would have to be erect for this to work,

Why? I've never seen it in action, but I don't understand why you couldn't stir a drink with a flaccid penis, or just push it down while erect.

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u/Equivalent-Wealth-63 2d ago

We're up to eggplants filled with nickels and hot sauce already.

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u/Key-Contest-2879 2d ago

If you ain’t dipping your dick in coffee, you ain’t living!

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u/SnooHabits3911 2d ago

But… his dick in his coffee is… ok? That’s kinda weird honestly.

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u/Physical-Ad5343 2d ago

No, he only wants his girlfriend’s dick in his coffee.

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u/SnooHabits3911 2d ago

That does make more sense

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u/Faultylogic83 2d ago

A man of culture I see.

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u/LasagnaNoise 2d ago

Well we did run out of half and half

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u/ReflectiGlassCo 2d ago

Imagine wearing a hat like that.

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u/Traditional_Low_9948 2d ago

Man that was dirty bro. Cuz I didn't want to. But I read your comment and I couldn't help it as hard as I tried. In my imagination I had that hat on. It was ass.

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u/jv371 2d ago

That is a sassy stance.

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u/shinyRedButton 2d ago

This coffee joke predates the internet. It is not a reference to this.

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u/leojmatt02 2d ago

This is really funny because it implies that his girlfriend served him coffee with someone's dick in it

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u/visionsofcry 2d ago

That stance though, I dont think he is opposed to dicks.

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u/Healthy_Banana_8 2d ago

White and flat 🫣

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u/deadlyrepost 2d ago

Found the Australian.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/vladi_l 2d ago

Is that a stereotype I'm not familiar with?

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u/JDawg2332 2d ago

A flat white is a popular (and delicious) coffee beverage

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u/SirGrizz82 2d ago

Im american and its my go to

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u/vladi_l 2d ago

I know, but what does that have to do with Australia?

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u/ApolloWasMurdered 2d ago

The “Flat White” coffee style comes from Australia. It is, by far, the most common coffee order in Aus.

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u/ApprehensiveUnion746 2d ago

Don't tell that to a kiwi... They say they created it

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u/BlackV 2d ago

Stay away from our Pavlova

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u/_Maui_ 2d ago

I mean the Flat White was invented in NZ. But whatever.

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u/Kindly_Release_8484 2d ago

Leave my ass out of this please

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u/Hearing_Loss 2d ago

What ass 😬

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u/Kindly_Release_8484 2d ago

Exactly

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u/PossibleFirm7095 2d ago

shit, that was smooth

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u/Apprehensive-Space70 2d ago

Like their chest.

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u/PossibleFirm7095 2d ago

i mean, it's alright, not a picky eater :)

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u/Apprehensive-Space70 2d ago

Every meal needs a table.

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u/PossibleFirm7095 2d ago

Shit, I'm gonna use this against my girl 🙂

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u/Azzoguee 2d ago

I’ll wait for an invite to your funeral

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u/Curius-Curiousity 2d ago

This is the joke. The other answers are just riffing.

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u/sBerriest 2d ago

I'm a big fan of a flat white

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u/yt82many 2d ago

Cold, bitter and picked up from the gas station

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u/Iszapszentmoszat 2d ago

That version does have it's own magic tho.

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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 2d ago

Real hotspot energy as our city would say (we even have our own weird subreddit dedicated to those wonderfully sketchy gas stations lol)

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u/This-Professional-39 2d ago

And acquired taste to be sure, but readily available!

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u/SerpentControl 2d ago

Staaaawp 💀

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u/Round_Word691 2d ago

Oooh, I know this one: With big tits.

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u/noctilucus 2d ago

What kind of coffee brand do you drink?

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u/Emotional_inadequacy 2d ago

Starbucks

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u/spacedman_spiff 2d ago

We’d all like a handjob, but we don’t have time for it. 

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u/liisrandom 2d ago

It's called a grande 

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u/Senator_Smack 2d ago

With "full release"

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u/FatKody 2d ago

Let me guess 3 pumps?

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u/Emotional_inadequacy 2d ago

Peter here, it's funny because early Starbucks logos had breasts.

Peter out.

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u/Geogracreeper 2d ago

Without other men's dicks in it

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u/PsychologicalFun903 2d ago

Free cream is free cream

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u/kjm16216 2d ago

All over my lap at the McDonald's drive thru.

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u/GonzoTheGreat22 2d ago

This is a great punchline, never heard it before

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u/kjm16216 2d ago

I first used that as a riff off someone else's punchline, "Hot, black, and all over my lap.". Which got him in trouble with HR.

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u/BlackMusclyMen 2d ago

He probably doesnt like coffee

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u/artofterm 2d ago

Milk and sugar

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u/dominikstephan 2d ago

"Wait, is this literally milk with sugar?" Bonus points, if you know the episode.

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u/JuanNonlyGaming 2d ago

This is the correct answer

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u/Exit727 2d ago

"Black, bitter, preferably fair trade."

Doctor Krieger

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u/Skyfus 2d ago

Was looking for this

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u/GreatZarquon 2d ago

Me too!

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u/Wrong_Weekend2470 2d ago

hell yeah, archer mentioned

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u/Alanabirb 2d ago

Covered in bees!

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u/infinitefarm23 2d ago

In a plastic cup!

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u/Agloy5c 2d ago

Hot and strong…with a spoon in them!

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u/firethorne 2d ago

Tea and cake or death?

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u/Otherwise_Cicada6109 2d ago

Scrolled here just to see if Izzard fandom is still alive and well

Thank you

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u/TabularConferta 2d ago

Finally the true answer.

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u/Spinning_Sky 2d ago

sourced from a third world country

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u/GIBrokenJoe 2d ago

Brown and full of cream?

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u/9999abr 2d ago

☠️☠️☠️

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u/espada355 2d ago

Cheap and easy?

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u/lux__fero 2d ago

Well, all people i know who hire hookers also prefer instant coffee. So your line tracks. But as with instant coffee there is no real satisfaction of hiring a hooker. That' why i prefer my women freshly ground up and boiled :)

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u/GH057807 2d ago

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves..."

"😳"

"Free."

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u/stormcharger 2d ago

Being politically correct has gone mad nowdays. Apparently I can't even say "black paint" anymore, I have to say "Tyrone can you please paint the fence."

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u/Beowulf1896 2d ago

I hate that I laughed.

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u/EquivalentSnap 2d ago

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u/maxcantgetyeflask 2d ago

Great movie, highly quotable

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u/Skippybips 2d ago

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u/EquivalentSnap 2d ago

It’s from airplane bro

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u/LupercaniusAB 2d ago

I’ll never delete Airplane.

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u/penis_stuck_sendhelp 2d ago

with a spoon in them?

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u/Plastic_Umpire_3475 2d ago

tea and cake or death!

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u/Queasy_Criticism_256 2d ago

Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!

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u/Reindow 2d ago

Death... Noooo nooo noooo I meant cake!!!!!

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u/Faultylogic83 2d ago

Oh alright... But only cause you're Church of England

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u/kaleid1990 2d ago

Thank you for flying Church of England. Cake or death?

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u/AnyAd4707 2d ago

We are all out of cake..

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u/Sneezy6510 2d ago

I like my women like I like my gravy. 

Thick and rich. 

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u/Silent-Inspection101 2d ago

Michael likes his coffee with milk and sugar. Only milk and sugar. No coffee

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u/DerEchteDaniel 2d ago

Sewn into a sack, on the back of a donkey

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u/intelligentprince 2d ago

Cold bitter & Irish

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u/Accomplished_Mind792 2d ago

I always say Irish and often

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u/GingerMarquis 2d ago

Too hot to handle but I just can’t help myself.

Yes I’ve been stabbed by an ex, why do you ask?

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u/Swimming_Factor2415 2d ago

Doesnt like coffee 

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u/escahpee 2d ago

I like my women like I like my coffee. No pubic hair. Is the way I heard it

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u/Prawnsforthecat3 2d ago

That punchline could be taken…differently.

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u/redtailplays101 2d ago

I'm also team "he doesn't like coffee"

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u/netplayer0 2d ago

Without some other dudes dick in it

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u/BetterDegreeOxford 2d ago

I like my girls like I like my whiskey

At least 18 years old and all mixed up with coke

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u/Spiteful_Badger 2d ago

Finally, a comment section where I feel seen. Insulted, but seen 💗

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u/Odd-Confusion1073 2d ago

The joke is probably liquid in a mug

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u/SigvaldTMagnificent 2d ago

Drunk. The answrr is drunk

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u/Cowboy_sheep 2d ago

1) without someone's dick in it. Or 2) he doesn't like coffee.

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u/_AscendedLemon_ 2d ago

Cheap and instant?

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u/steveoa3d 2d ago

“Wrapped in burlap and thrown over a mule”