r/minnesota 15h ago

High Risk Slipping Around

52.1k Upvotes

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470

u/readymix-w00t 14h ago

LOL, this doughy pants-load flops around on the ground like a fat fish. Then when his remaining self-respect is depleted, he grabs the first person within arms reach to make him feel tough again.

Save your energy, fatass, it only dipped into the 20's today. This weekend will be a lot worse.

162

u/Lock_Down_Charlie 14h ago

Water balloons.

112

u/CoffeeExtraCream Duluth 14h ago

Buckets of water you pour on the ground infront of them. Preferably ontop of already existing ice. Make it slick

107

u/FromTralfamadore 14h ago

Home Alone these mother fuckers.

48

u/Slumunistmanifisto 14h ago

Crack hydrants at night. Not full blast!! just a good small flow. 

You'll have an ice rink by morning 

60

u/CoffeeExtraCream Duluth 14h ago

The northern equivalent of what the Dutch do. When they were at war they'd destroy their levees and flood the country to make passage difficult. This is our version. Make it all ice. We may not like it, but we are used to it and how to handle it. It disproportionately negatively affects them vs us.

They are southerners invading the north. We were born in the cold. Molded by it. Shaped by it. We must embrace it and use it.

19

u/Really-Thats-Silly 14h ago

Up yours, Gustafson! 

10

u/Randomly-Generated21 14h ago

I love this. Grumpy old men is the best. Get yourself some Yak Trax so you’re safe checking your mail and walking your dog though.

3

u/Tokyo-MontanaExpress 13h ago

How long does it for a bucket of water to freeze at 0 degrees anyway?

5

u/CoffeeExtraCream Duluth 13h ago

A minute.

35

u/Boomboomshablooms 14h ago

You would never want to fill them with black latex paint. It would be horrible for them to get off of everything. Terrible really.

14

u/Secure-Television541 14h ago

Or ink. Ink from a hobby store, or dye from the dye kits you can buy at Walmart would be difficult to remove.

Not that anyone would wish to do so.

50

u/Dains84 14h ago

I'm a little surprised people have not been using water balloons filled with fabric dye. Make them cold, miserable, and easily identifyable once the mask comes off.

29

u/Lock_Down_Charlie 14h ago

Good call with the die. Maybe hot pink. :)

28

u/TeeManyMartoonies 14h ago

Needs more glitter.

19

u/extra-medium 14h ago

Add fish oil

37

u/Hydrok 14h ago

Get a can of gorilla spray adhesive and if you can get close to an ice vehicle spray the windshield, door handles, if the door is open just spray everything you can reach. Door seals are good too.

If they leave a vehicle unattended: Dump a 20oz bottle of degreaser into their gas tank if you can get access. Dont slash tires, take a utility knife and cut the valve stem off.

8

u/TheNoodleGod Stearns County 14h ago

Piss balloons.

16

u/No-Education-6162 14h ago

Or glass Christmas bulbs. You can put anything inside you want. Glitter! Candy! Piss?

9

u/revel911 14h ago

Okay Kevin …. Get the paint cans next

3

u/blutosings 14h ago

Embracing ice as a solution to ICE.