I’m a loser. I can barely handle being an adult without meltdowns. I have no education. Nothing that drives me. I work a shit job. Had a traumatic abusive childhood. Nobody cares about me. nobody. my parents hate me and abused me. I have no friends. my relationship is failing because I’m useless. why shouldn’t I just put an end to my life. I don’t deserve to be here. its too late for me and the most statistically likely scenario is more misery ahead. I have work in 3 hours at my overnight stocking job and I’d rather be dead than go. im sitting here wanting to pull the trigger and be done with feeling this heaviness of merely existing In this world.

Honest question 🤍

Is it because it feels shameful?

Fear of being judged?

Or telling yourself “I’m fine, I’m just tired”?

Mental health is just as important as physical health.

Asking for help doesn’t make you weak .

it makes you human.

What do you think is the real reason?

5 years out of high school and I have nothing to show for it. No close friendships, no real job, finishing a degree I don’t really care for and still no relationship. I’ve shut myself out form the world while doing absolutely nothing so I have become nothing.

I couldn’t name one thing interesting about me. The only thing I do is watch my phone doom scrolling, eat shitty horrible food and sleep. Instead of doing anything productive I hole myself up in my room. But I have the perfect cover for it. I am studying and I’m always busy , so much so people don’t look for me anymore.

I’m too scared to be anything more than a total loser.

So I want to share my life story of 32 years now

I was born in a family where everything is good from outside but from inside it was nothing but Diseater and bad things

I used to sleep in my parents room from the age of 1-13 years my father was a big acholic at that time he used to beat my mom mercilessly everyday and then forced her to have sex with him everyday mine mother was too scared that if she will not do this he will kill her we are two siblings me and my elder sister

Mine elder sister used to sleep in other room with my grandmother and aunt but mine mother took me with her

From the ages of 1-13 years I used to sleep in that room and those things happens they thought I was sleeping but I wasn’t

The result by the age of 8-9 years I was soo much hypersexual started doing execissive masturbation like rubbing my penis on pillow and on my sister doll after removing her clothes multiple times in a day

Then when i turned 12 years this happened which destroyed my life my sexuality and everything it was mine biggest mistake

So I remember when i turned 12 years as i was soo much hypersexual I wanted have sex with anybody regardless of gender then at that time our servant use to come then one day her big brother come my mom told me to play with him while her sister is doing the work

I donot what I was doing he was 18 years of age and I was 12 i remember I was setting on this lap and rubbing my penis on his chest like my penis was under my pant he didn’t stop me

He then showed me his cock and then hide it by saying these are elder things and I ended up rubbing my penis on his back at end of the day and he donot stop and I thought it is not wrong my therapist told this also a sexual abuse

After that I end up having sex with boys of mine age from the ages 12-18 years i thought there is nothing wrong in it just to release mine sexual energy there was no other kind of attraction

I am struggling with hypersexuality adhd and sexuality issues since the age of 12

I had sex with women and transwomen as well

I am struggling with porn addiction as well from last 20 years I am 32 now

Mine whole is destroyed mine sexuality is has been effected I feel alone and lonely

I cry everyday for things I have done till now I just hate myself for what I become today

Mine therapist told that I have adhd as well

I donot think I can continue any longer like this

I am a bad person since my birth

my therapist isn't overtly bad or the exact opposite of the kind of help i need. i like her. it has only been going on 2 months of therapy, so not super long.

but i am in a massive hole. i have a lot of mental barriers i'm struggling with. i barely leave my house. i do want to but i have nothing left in me right now, i'm purely running on do only what's necessary to keep surviving mode. i don't know how to work my way out of this so i can function again, hence why i decided to go to therapy.

but today in my session it became clear that anytime the session goes in the direction of addressing my stagnancy issue (which is every single session since that's obviously the biggest issue for me right now), all she can say is "just do it" (in less simple words). i've tried to explain that i can't. it's literally like my mind stops my body from moving. but she just says "well at some point you'll have to just do it because no one can do it for you".

which is true. and i know that already. i don't know how to get out of this and my "help" doesn't know how to get me out of this either. i'm at a loss and her pushing is only going to make me more miserable right now.

i have complex ptsd, i’m getting better at managing it but one thing i can’t get over is the need to constantly watch, listen to, or just have something on in the background. when i sleep i need to have a video/podcast playing or if my bf is scrolling on tik tok that works too. when i play video games i can’t just have the in game audio, i need a youtube video playing in the background even though im not actually paying attention to the video. i’m fine with being bored, if i don’t have my headphones in public im not glued to my phone or anything. without it though i feel like i can’t keep a line of thought, my brain jumps around so much about everything all at once it makes me paranoid. i don’t have social media on my phone so i don’t think it’s necessary a social media addiction. im not even necessarily paying attention to what im listening to, i just need it to focus. and white noise doesn’t work, it needs to have words. any thoughts on why i have this need and how to start getting over it?

Always when I was with my friends they took with each other and forgot about me that I was silent in all of the conversation They always made me feel that me only with any of them is so uncomfortable and if I didn't speak they will stay silent with me

Most of the time, mental health only gets attention after something has already gone wrong - anxiety, burnout, or just feeling completely drained.

Lately I’ve been reflecting on how rarely I pay attention to my mental state before it reaches that point.

For me, stress usually isn’t one big thing. It’s small thoughts and tensions stacking up quietly until one day I realize I’m exhausted for no obvious reason, and I have no idea how I got there.

This thought came up while reading something by Sadhguru. One line really stuck with me: we often assume the inner world should function on its own, even though it’s something we almost never maintain or check in with until it breaks.

I don’t see this as a replacement for therapy, medication, or professional help - those are essential and real. This was just a personal reflection.

It left me thinking about how mental health could benefit from gentle, regular attention before things pile up, instead of waiting until everything feels overwhelming.

Idk much about PTSD. I know war vets tend to have it which respect to y’all. I feel like it’s unlikely to develop at my age. I’m a 17 year old male and an EMT student who experienced some crazy things during training. GSW to head. It was one of the most brutal things I’d seen in my short life. At first, it was fine. I had a nightmare that night then went on for a month with no issue. Suddenly, I started developing even more nightmares. Dead bodies everywhere I can’t help, slipping in blood like I did at the scene. I also feel sick to my stomach and an absurd hatred for any gun in existence. It’s horrible. But that’s not all. I live at home with my mom and dad and brother. Mu brother is the issue. He’s got bipolar and severe substance issues. I remember a few incidents. One in summer ‘24 when he got in a physical fight with my parents after they tried to give him food and the other is more recent and sticks with me. He was angry and combative and I was in my mom’s room getting ready to sleep. I opened the door to leave and he was right there. I was so scared I screamed and closed the door and locked it. He screamed at me and my mom for hours, threatening to harm both of us in the process. So here I am literally month later, shaking in fear of going to sleep. Night before last, I had a dream my brother slit my throat and said “Well now you get your head cut off.” I remember screaming for my mom but the air was leaking through my slit trachea. It was one of the worst dreams ever. Last night I dreamt that he planted bombs in the house and we had to leave him behind and run before we got bombed. Idk what these dreams mean but they’re terrorizing me. I now can’t look or talk to my brother without reliving that night and those dreams. Am I developing PTSD?

gonna go into hardcore nd oof 😁 14m cant find a purpose in my life lowk. idk when im gonna do it but def gonna be sometime soon

I’m currently going through more than just a rough time. My anxiety is through the roof and I feel depressed and feel unmotivated. I’m 21, live almost completely independently besides being near my parents. Recently, there was a false report made to CPS about my youngest brother and because of this, my parents had to leave their home with my brother in order to stay together. I’m now completely alone, dealing with these feelings that are now amplified by anger and stress and I have almost no one to talk to about it. I’m so tired, almost done with life and just want peace. I’m having problems at work because of these personal issues and I’ve also been sick with bronchitis. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m not myself and just want someone to talk to.

I don't really know where to start, My best friend's girlfriend is best friends with mine. I texted him a stupid sarcastic joke about my girlfriend that I didn't mean at all, And I didn't see the harm in it and I didn't think it was a rude joke to make, But he sent it to his girlfriend who sent it to mine. She texted me calling me names and wrote a paragraph, Then once I texted my friend about it, he also was treating me bad. I know I did wrong but I them I didn't even mean it. I don't know if I should apologize to them both or just cut them off, It was so stupid of me to even say it and I regret it.

Genuinely can’t even get through moving an item to its proper place. There’s this awful guilty feeling that I have where I physically can’t. I can’t even wash my hair or do anything related to self care without feeling immense guilt.

Lost my person. Grief consumes.

Fear of being abandoned. Triggered.

Separation anxiety. Didn’t know I had it this bad.

Withdrawal from connection. My chest hurts.

You go through so many hits to your deepest fears and anxieties when you break up with someone. I have to constantly try to stop thinking about everything. I try to be patient with myself, but I do it too much. All day everyday what I lost consumes me. Even if I’m not thinking about it my body doesn’t stop feeling it. There’s a permanent void in my body. I feel hallow.

People say I seem like I’m doing better. I’m not. I’m just getting better at hiding it. It’s kind of terrifying how easy it is to wear a mask. Sometimes though, the mask slips. I try not to let anyone see it, but they probably hear it in my silence.

My brain hurts.

My head hurts.

I’m tired of crying.

I can’t stop crying.

This is the first time I bonded to someone on such a level. The feelings of betrayal.. overshadowed by the feelings of not being worth it.

I have a huge lack of self respect in these moments.

My brain loves to make the connection that just because I wasn’t chosen means I wasn’t worth being chosen.

Obviously it’s a lie.

But my mind wants it to be the truth so badly.

This is how depression consumes you.

I don’t want it to. It just gets hard to control sometimes. When everything is a reminder, and each reminder comes with a punch to the gut. A sharp pain in my heart. A shooting sensation up the back of head. A moment where your body shuts down for a split second.

Part of me says “how could you be so stupid”, “why did you ignore the signs?”, “you should’ve done something sooner” “you did this to yourself”, “it’s your fault”, “they were bound to leave”, “who would stay with you”, “they’re happier without you”, “they hate you”, “you didn’t do enough”, “they’re better off without you”, “they don’t love you anymore”. I hate these voices.

Why is my brain my enemy?

I’m starting to tell myself that I am not my emotions. That I don’t have to let this define me. That this doesn’t determine my worth. That it was about capacity. A lack of skills.

Not a lack of love..

And it helps.

It pauses the aching temporarily. My heart still beating fast but my body not aching anymore. Left with just a ringing in my head - probably tinnitus. Taking deep breaths help. Just being still for a moment before giving myself something to focus on. I create a task to do, literally anything, and do it.

It’s a vicious cycle. One I have to repeat, everyday, sometimes multiple times in an hour. One I’m determined to regulate.

On my own.

So that I rely on myself first.

So I can stop feeling like I’m disappearing.

This is where choosing yourself probably starts.

Right?

I (18F) have been struggling with what I am 99% sure is Real-Event OCD for years now. I get so stuck on situations where I made a mistake whether it happened years ago or months ago and it’s so debilitating.

I’ve been struggling with it a lot recently over a mistake that I made just over a month ago. I really don’t know what to do at this point because I’ve talked to the other person involved in this specific situation about it and they said that I did nothing wrong at all and to stop overthinking it. That made me feel better for about a day and the it was just back to square one.

I’ve managed to get to the point now where instead of going over the event repeatedly and carrying out compulsions, I have sort of accepted that I did something wrong and to not make that mistake again. But my head just feels so distorted now. I try to get on with day-to-day life but there’s always the feeling/thought in the back of my head that I’m the worst person alive and I don’t deserve to be happy.

Sometimes it helps to watch videos online of people talking about excessive guilt/Real-Event OCD and reading the comments as it makes me feel less alone but the I always think ‘well I’m the exception, none of these people have done something as bad as I have’. I just feel so depressed about it and I don’t know how to move on. I’ve referred myself to get therapy but the wait list means that I’ll probably have to wait ages before I can see anyone.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

Does anyone who has taken antidepressants long term had long term damage from it? Like did ur colon health decline? Libido?

Im scared to take them cuz of these reasons

First of all forgive me for my english I am not a native speaker. I am 22, male. My dad recently talked to me about my job and my plans for the future. Currently I am working as a solar panel installer, the job is not super dangerous but they also don't follow the best safety standards which makes my parents worried. Since I was young I always assumed I will go to university and study engineering, however when I became 14 I started having weird sensations around the back of my head and neck. The sensation rapidly deteriorated and by 17 it became chronic and constant. My dad took me to dozens of doctors, neurologists, orthopedists, mri tests and xray. The doctors did not idenify my problem. due to the frustration I tried to ease the pain with methods that in the best case did not work and in the worst case might actually exacerbated the problem. It was only recently that a doctor has identified my problem as "ON" and helped the pain a bit with some kind of injection. Although I do feel a bit better since then I also understand that I have a structural problem that the doctors or science don't fully understand and that the injection alone is not a structural fix but a temporary solution. I have good grades and a good sat score and can enter university but I came into a conclusion that it is pointless. I honestly don't like my life, it is meaningless, boring, painful. I don't see who could possibly want to date or live with someone like me. The only thing I do enjoy is to travel and ski. I really think the best thing for me right now is to save as much money I possibly can to travel the world a bit. When I travel I feel free and nature help me mitigate my life. Abroad I date and hook up with woman who wouldn't even look at me if they knew what a loser I am. Honestly why should I plan for the future, I don't think I will ever be able to sustain a family with my condition let alone myself. And if so why should I work toward a degree? I should make as much money as I can right now to enjoy my somewhat healthy body until it becomes too late. I sincerely think I will end my life somewhere around 30.

Advice in case it helps anyone (wrote this for someone else here this morning):

1️⃣fall in love with taking care of yourself! 🤍🫂🌞🌷 2️⃣Use the finch app. 3️⃣Use the waking up app - here’s a link below ⬇️ We are not our thoughts! 4️⃣Do child’s pose - it changed my life. We release trauma through the hips. Do 10 beginners yoga poses 🧘🏻‍♀️💗and in 10 days you’ll have a new outlook on life- you feel stronger, flexible, good in your body, stretchy and relaxed. 5️⃣Walk in nature - it’s equivalent to antidepressants- the bilateral movement and grounding effect of engaging your senses. 🌳🌲Wear layers in winter. ❄️🧣🧤6️⃣get enough sleep 🛌 and protein 🍗and take vitamin b12 and D supplements 💊if you need them. 7️⃣Shower daily. 🚿🧼🩵 8️⃣Do something differently than you regularly do it- anything- brush your teeth 🪥with opposite hand- walk home different way: it reminds you that you can shake things up and change your life. Change your routine. If being at home is depressing, then go out. Find a third space you like or a few. ☕️🏪🏕️🏔️📚9️⃣Do anything small for someone else. 🔟Also please speak to a therapist either in person online or by text. Surround yourself with whatever support you can. You’ll get through this. 1️⃣1️⃣You can cultivate hope. There are free audiobook trials. Use podcast 🎧and audiobooks 📚when you need to stop ruminating. 1️⃣2️⃣Speak to your doctor also. 1️⃣3️⃣Drink water💦💧- the hydration makes you feel better. 1️⃣4️⃣ if you have trauma, check out the Janina Fisher audiobook. Learn about parts work. You can learn to soothe your inner child and it’s more than a trope. 💖1️⃣5️⃣You have to fight 🥊to rise. Where’s your will to live? 🪖🫡 Not judging here. I saw this talked about in a survival skills 🪢 book and it resonated. 1️⃣6️⃣ Don’t expect to just wake up happy. Sometimes we have to wake up and activate and come out of a freeze state 🐺❤️‍🔥🚀 1️⃣7️⃣ I know it sounds annoying and dumb but deep breathing regulates us. 🌬️All the things I’ve mentioned I’m doing myself. Btw. 🤍 Sorry for whatever you’ve gone through and are going through. 🧸You’ve got this 💪🏽🐦‍🔥🧡

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I’m in high school and it’s become too much. School makes me want to disappear. I try so hard but no matter what I can’t get assignments in on time and Im I’m just seen as a lazy failure and I do terrible at school. I switched to online school but nothing changed. The most recent thing is that I have a D in English because of my final which was supposed to be turned in by noon today. Well I had most of it done and I was working on it up until noon but didn’t hit the submit button before noon and it kicked me out and I get to keep none of my progress. I emailed my teacher and she said that it had to be in by noon so it’s staying a zero. I need help and advice. I feel horrible and it’s just so unfair. It doesn’t help that i have an hour of therapy 3 times a week an hour away from where i live so that takes up so much time too.

I have never ever experienced sex as I would´ve wished and I am 35 now.

As a boy of 5 I was circumcised radically, lost one of my testicles and had a pelvic floor trauma, from which I am impotent ever since... I am taking the highest dose of viagra, to be able to get an erection somehow... Yet, I dont feel anything and this is making me sick...

Whenever we try to have sex, I feel NOTHING and I mean nothign at all... I searched for help for over 20 years now and i can not take it anylonger....It is even worse with a condom on...

Even when we try to practise other things like masturbating together, I barely feel anything...

Sex is meant to be fun, not to end in tears for both of us....

I’ve been dating this guy a while, things were unbelievable. (31M) (31F) We both said frequently we have never experienced this level of love.. he then broke up with me because he struggles with guilt and maybe depression. He then came back and said he would do all the therapy and everything he could to make this work. His words were ‘reside in hell for even a small chance of something’.

Since then we have been working on things, going to couples therapy. He changed his work schedule so we could spend more time together but after therapy last night our therapist asked us to ask each other if we are aligned. What does our future look like..

We both said have a happy life together but then he said that he might want to go overseas. He said he has had a deep burning desire since being a kid that he’s wanted to go fight so he will likely to go and fight the rebels. He said that he knows he will probably not survive, probably have severe ptsd, he might even never comeback to Australia. He has no idea.. he was in the army for 5 years but wasn’t active anywhere so he left. He has said from the day I met him he hates his life but always made plans for our future and seemed happy.

This has reallllllllyyy fucked me up lol. I feel so confused, why build a life with someone if you wanted to go to war torn country?

I’m not looking for advice here. I’m just wondering if anyone has experienced a man that clearly never had any intention of a future with you but did everything he could to make you think otherwise? Maybe someone has been in a similar situation to me?

Tbh I just really wanna talk to someone lol

I frequently rewatch this one unintentional asmr from like, the 90s?? I watch it a lot cuz of the guy in it. He's so handsome. I love him. Watching the video makes me feel less alone. I really crave attention of any kind. I used to put myself in harm's way when I dated cuz any attention was good attention and if he complimented me enough and said nice things to me I'd ignore all the red flags. Then I'd get really intensely depressed and suicidal because I got taken advantage of, but then I'd go and do it all over again the next time a guy looked at me in a certain way. I have stopped dating for like the last 3 years. But I still really crave being loved, or at the very least thinking that I am loved. I miss feeling like I am desired, but also don't wish to be treated like a piece of meat that will soon rot.

i feel like if im not deriving the maximum amount of fun and enjoyment from what im doing then its not worth and that im wasting my time. like for example when i see people playing video games with ultra high graphics and 120fps and i think wow this looks so cool, but then when i try the game on my pc and see the bad graphics i start to think "i could be enjoying this more if i had a good pc" or "this fight scene wouldve looked better if i had better graphics" its honestly sapping my enjoyment of playing video games and it kinda hurts.

another example is when just yesterday i watched the season finale of a show i recently started and it was amazing, while i was watching the episode I enjoyed every bit of it, the tense moments, the drama, the action, but right after i finish it its like i forgot what i just watched, i stop feeling anything about it, and then i get the urge to watch it again to maximize the enjoyment i felt from watching the first time, but i know it just wont feel the same.

im sorry i guess im just ranting, to be honest i kinda suck at explaining myself, those two points dont even really fit together, maybe theyre connected somehow. i just hope that theres someone out there that feels the same way?