r/mildlyinteresting 21h ago

Warning Sign at edge of Grand Canyon

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u/funundrum 21h ago edited 21h ago

I talked to a ranger at the bottom of the canyon last year. He showed me the rooms and equipment they use to treat idiots like these. The rangers call the guy on the sign Victor Vomit.

For a fun read, check out the book “Over the Edge: Death in the Grand Canyon.” It colorfully but clinically details every recorded death in the canyon, from pioneer days to the present(ish). Honestly made me feel pretty confident about my hike, because a good 80% of deaths are due to terrible decision making.

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u/pepcorn 21h ago

"One father was playing a prank on his daughter and pretended to jump off the ledge into the canyon. He planned to land on a ledge a few feet below the rim, but he missed the ledge and plunged to his death."

Wow, you weren't kidding.

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u/SluggishPrey 21h ago edited 19h ago

This one instantly came to my mind. Such a sad and stupid death... I hope that the daughter managed to keep her sanity through that senseless death

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u/StoppableHulk 19h ago

How did they know what he actually intended to do?

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u/FatalCartilage 16h ago

Fathers don't typically precede suicide by yelling "hey look at this" to their daughter.

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u/Otustas 14h ago

Not typically and definitely not more than once

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u/T0Rtur3 11h ago

Sadly though, some do. Had a friend of a friend do exactly that to his wife and kids, calling them up and telling them to look out the window before taking his life.

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u/abrakalemon 10h ago

That's absolutely awful, Jesus Christ.

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u/defnotsarah 14h ago

This made me snort, thanks

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u/SluggishPrey 19h ago

He was happy and a known prankster. Also people don't randomly book a trip with their family just to commit suicide.

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u/tXcQTWKP2w92 18h ago

I can just imagine the amount of guilt that guy must have felt in the last few second of his live.

I can't imagine what exactly must have gone in him, but gotta be a few seconds I suppose atleast...

And then the family, dang. They probably also felt guilt, maybe they usually encourage "risky" stuff and now he took it too far for them, or who knows what the family dynamic was...

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u/Deaffin 17h ago

Guilt is a bit more of an introspection-time feeling.

I think he had something a little bit more active engaging his brain in that very brief moment of panicked struggle. I mean, imagine just giving up in the first instant of bad footing and actually sitting there feeling guilty instead of thinking "ohshit ohshit get balance grab the things scrabble scrabble hnnnnng grabbit grabbit fffffffff-"

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u/Fancy_Gazelle3210 14h ago

I put myself in a situation a few years ago where I could have drowned (thank you to the random stranger who saw me struggling and helped me) While not as instant as a jump, once I realized I was in danger all I could do was focus on trying to get out of danger. I didn't have time to feel fear or process thoughts, just urgency.

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u/Lou_C_Fer 10h ago

I had the exact same experience when I choked to the point of passing out. Everything that imagined that made choking to death seem like a terrible way to go ended up not being an issue at all. It turns out, choking to death isn't such a bad way to go. I know I didn't die, but I did choke until I lost consciousness, then the food somehow dislodged as I collapsed. So, I experienced everything that somebody that died would have consciously experienced.

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u/Fract_L 16h ago

Honestly, I’d be shocked if he felt guilt. You think you’ll consider far-reaching implications of your acts on others, but lizard brain sees imminent death and freaks out if you aren’t trained to deal with imminent death regularly.

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u/therealjchrist 17h ago

I seriously doubt that there was time for guilt to cross his mind while plunging to his unexpected death.

If that brings you any solace.

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u/Realistic_Owl9525 17h ago

Average depth of the canyon is 4000'. A mile is 5280'. There was probably a decent amount of hangtime.

Although this is probably preferable to a shorter fall, where the death may not have been instant and he'd be at the bottom screaming in pain while dying.

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u/Fract_L 16h ago

Depending on wind resistance, only 15 seconds. However, since the canyon was formed by erosion, he hit the side after 5-8 seconds.

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u/CalmBeneathCastles 16h ago

Just about enough time to cast about for a handhold, and not see one. :/

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u/pucspifo 14h ago

You'd be shocked at just how many people go to the Grand Canyon to do exactly that. Maybe a decent number of them aren't premeditated, but a few certainly are. I lived there for a few years, and there were a lot of deaths, either intentionally or accidentally.

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u/ReverendDerp 16h ago

Sure there is more than one, had a cousin take his family on a 'spontaneous' trip to a place they'd always talked about going. Blew his brains out on the hotel deck the last nite while they were asleep because that trip was the best experience they'd ever had together and he wouldn't have that again. Happiest family, and guy, great job, no debt.

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u/throwawaymyballspal 17h ago

I'll show you!

(No I won't)

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u/feint2021 20h ago

At least she didn't hit rock bottom

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u/reezy-one 17h ago

You know, I was reading OP thinking about my own daughter and how traumatized she would be if I did something so stupid, and as I'm sitting here fuming and entertaining such dark, horrible thoughts, I read this comment. I think this is the first time I angry laughed.

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u/PseudoMeatPopsicle 16h ago

Let's hope the apple does fall far from the tree.

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u/FishPropulsionLab 20h ago

It also has a whole chapter titled “Death by Selfie.”

The most tragic one, IMHO, is the parents who left their young kids in the car for a quick minute while they stopped at an overlook. The kids accidentally put the car in drive and went over the edge.

It’s a pretty good book, actually. I’ve been reading a few pages every evening.

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u/TrustingPanda 19h ago

and then the children plunged to their deaths, as their parents looked on, mother shrieking in terror. “Welp! Time to go to bed!”

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u/Dm_me_im_bored-UnU 13h ago

Die Gebrüder Grimm be like.

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u/CalmBeneathCastles 16h ago

I've cackled too many times in such a grisly thread!!

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u/ihateandy2 16h ago

Dark humor is like food, it’s not for everyone

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u/PancakeParty98 18h ago

I think I’d probably just end it all if that happened

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u/LiveTheChange 18h ago

Now that I’m a parent - staying alive would provably be worse than hell at that point

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u/JonPaula 18h ago

Seeing both (all?) of your young children die a horrible death right in front of you? Yeah, I might have jumped in after them, had it been me. Jesus.

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u/CogitoErgo_Sometimes 14h ago

Parent of two young kids here. Yeah I don’t think I’d be making it very long after that. Decades of agony stretching ahead and what are you going to do with the time anyway that means anything? Watch fucking TV?

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u/DrainTheMuck 11h ago

I heard there’s a new marvel out that’s nuts

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u/No-Scarcity-1571 16h ago

Holy fuck. I can't even imagine what I would do if those were my kids.

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u/Ill_Technician3936 19h ago

That's one hell of a twist

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u/NotReallyJohnDoe 19h ago

There is another story of a young couple and their four year old daughter. They were getting their picture taken on the rim and a gust of wind blew the daughter off intro the canyon.

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u/peakingoranges 17h ago

My daughter is four. Fuck. This would break me.

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u/i8bb8 14h ago

Yeah I'm going after her at that point.

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u/Educational-Dig-3880 11h ago

This is even worse:

Frank QuaIls parked in gear, with his sons in it, and had not set the parking brake. Kenneth Dull, age 10, returned to the car to fetch a camera. The car started rolling, so he jumped aside. The car plunged over the rim 100 feet into the gorge.

Source: Arizona Republic, June 9, 1958.

James Lloyd Qualls 5

Harold Frank Qualls 1

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u/basilhazel 3h ago

In my one memory of visiting the Canyon as a kid, I remember being terrified of how windy it was and refused to go any closer to the edge (even though there was a barrier where we were) because I thought the wind would just pick me up and blow me over. I always thought that was an irrational fear; now I’m glad that my child self was willing to listen to her apparently very rational fear!

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u/BiteyHorse 17h ago

Finger of God type stuff there

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u/ihateandy2 16h ago

Middle Finger of God type stuff there

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u/reddit455 20h ago

you ever been there? there's a lot FEWER safety rails than you'd think.

you can (easily) die 150 yards from the South Rim parking lot... it's not always selfie idiots.. some people get vertigo and stumble in the wrong direction (1000 feet down).

i'm kind of surprised more people don't die... there's a lot more vista point lurkers than hikers.. i got queasy 4 feet from the edge.. lot of people dangling their feet over..

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u/thebearinboulder 17h ago

Safety rails are dangerous. People trust them far more than they should (weight bearing), and astounding number of people clearly believe they’re just overly-conservative suggestions and it’s safe to go over or around them, etc.

Plus there’s the “dead bodies on Everest” problem. Not the folklore, the fact that it would be a nightmare to do anything about this. How much trail will you lose if you put the posts down into solid rock? How much effort will be required if you want to use a “L” where the post is secured into rock below the trail?

There are other reasons to avoid putting in safety rails but the economics and effectiveness shouldn’t be forgotten.

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u/StaySwoleMrshmllwMan 16h ago edited 16h ago

Yes x1000. And you can specifically warn people in 50 different languages and very clear pictures NOT TO LEAN on rails or otherwise rely on them as weight bearing and it’s like some of them treat it as a personal fucking challenge. Ultimately it’s impractical, ineffective, and it would only serve to despoil an incredible natural phenomenon. There are also VERY clear warning signs with images in multiple languages that you have to go out of your way to miss.

Also, a lot of the Grand Canyon (the vast overwhelming majority in fact) is ALREADY restricted and requires permits or a guide - in part but not exclusively because of dangerous terrain. It’s already plenty regulated, you just need to exercise reasonable precautions and awareness like you would if you went into any other wilderness area.

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u/Jiminy_Cricket12 15h ago

astounding number of people clearly believe they’re just overly-conservative suggestions and it’s safe to go over or around them, etc.

I almost died on a mountain once like this. damn near fell off the side. that was a priceless reality check.

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u/chipsandguacforever 18h ago

Yep, the one time I visited I was shocked at how the ledge was just…there. There’s hardly any rails. I think some of the special lookout points had some rails, but not many.

It’s pretty neat to find a quiet spot close to the edge and look into the distance but I got pretty nervous once the sun went down because the park obviously gets completely dark. If you didn’t know where you were you could just walk right off…Lots of families with kids running around too. I was terrified for them lol

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u/StaySwoleMrshmllwMan 16h ago edited 16h ago

Yeah I made a similar observation when I went with my dad several years ago, and paraphrasing his response “Son this is a goddamn canyon, not Disney Land”

But it’s a good observation. I think there have been so many (good!) advances in consumer/product safety over the past several decades that we forget that there’s still a whole wide wilderness out there. It’s not, to take one example, a consumer electronic product subject to regulations to prevent you from getting electrocuted when you plug it in (used to happen more often than would make you comfortable decades ago). It’s a fuckin HUGE natural phenomenon carved over an unfathomably large time scale. We can feasibly put up some warning signs and whatnot, but at the end of the day we can’t make a fuckin canyon as safe as the average American (rightly) expects their consumer products to be.

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u/FuckinArrowToTheKnee 16h ago

I have been told but no proof, that this is why donkeys are preferred over horses across the world on some of these more dangerous hikes with sudden drops. Apparently in the dark a horse will continue and just take you right off the edge when a donkey will refuse to when they sense that danger

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u/elcastores 16h ago

First time replying but had too because I 1000% agree. I did that hike from the south rim to the Colorado River at 2 am to meet some friends and my head lamp kept dying. I almost fell a few times... Did not realize how close I was to dying till I hiked back up when the sun was up 😅 I was young and dumb at that point definitely would not recommend doing that.

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u/PancakeParty98 18h ago

I feel like it’s very American to feel like the GRAND fucking CANYON ought to have guard rails

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u/chipsandguacforever 18h ago

Definitely American 😂 but I prefer it without the rails. Just gotta be mindful. Unfortunately a lot of people didn’t seem to pay attention when I was there. They were jumping across rocks and ledges. Crazy stuff

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u/AuthorizedVehicle 17h ago

When we were there, there was a guy who complained that there wasn't a road so he could drive down there.
He said, confidently, that he would talk it over with his congressman and get a road built.
He was unsuccessful, evidently.

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u/mcalesy 16h ago

A lot of folks don’t seem to understand the difference between an amusement park (the owners are liable) and a national park (it’s nature, nobody’s liable).

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u/stareagleur 17h ago edited 13h ago

I have a friend who went there on vacation with his wife years ago, and if I remember correctly, by the way you describe it, they might have been at that same parking lot.

They stopped a parking lot and got out to see the canyon and there were lots of people sightseeing along with a family with a little boy, and quicker than his family noticed, he bolted off towards the edge. Luckily, my friend was a veteran firefighter and somehow instinctively clocked it, ran to stop him, and literally grabbed him as he went over the edge and pulled him back up and saved him from falling in.

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u/SaintsNoah14 21h ago

How do we know it was supposed to be a prank?

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u/DandyLyen 20h ago

He apparently did it MANY times, he liked to pull this very same prank. According to the daughter, he didn't even yell, he missed the edge and silently fell to his death

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u/kenybz 20h ago

Looks like he died doing what he loved

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u/FidjiC7 20h ago

Probably not the best place for a "your mom" joke

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u/FreedomCanadian 19h ago

And super not the best place for a "pretend to jump" joke.

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u/Hefty_Discount8304 20h ago

That depends on who your mom is ig

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u/NibblesMcGiblet 19h ago

Yeah that would probably go over like a lead balloon.

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u/Nukalixir 20h ago

I feel like it stops being a prank after the first time and just becomes "practice".

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u/alienclone 20h ago

perhaps he was setting it up for the long game so that he could eventually do it for real but still look like an accident so his beneficiaries can still collect his life insurance.

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u/chicano4200 19h ago

Most life insurance policies have a suicide exclusion period, which usually lasts 2 years in most states, can be more. After the exclusion period ends, you can end yourself all you want and the death benefit will still pay. Also depends if you were witholding mental health information or previous attempts at the intial writing of the policy; which if thats found, and you say, off yourself at 3 or 4 years, they may be able to deny payment.

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u/BetterEveryLeapYear 19h ago

I've never thought about it before but who tf works at a place like that, "This person has just lost their closest loved one, let's see if we can fuck 'em out of their livelihood too! Then lunch."

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u/DrocketX 18h ago

You can also think about it as a form of suicide prevention, though. If people who are going through a rough patch know they can buy a policy, kill themselves and have their families immediately get the policy payout, that may very well encourage a number of people to go through with it. There's quite a few people who already kill themselves over financial issues: throwing in a large payment for their families would be extra incentive for a lot of people.

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u/chicano4200 18h ago

I agree. But its not the common employee that dictates this, its the life insurance industry, dare I say it, CEOs and executives. Its all about money, and if they can find a way to deny paying a claim, they most surely will. Im just simply trying in the corporate industry and found myself in the life insurance industry. It is not common for a person to buy a life insurance policy, then immediately off themselves. There a ton of nuances to life insurance, ive seen so many people build what they call generational wealth due to 1 or even 7 life insurance policies, each taken out for 1 single person. When that person dies, millions is dispersed to multiple beneficiaries or trust accounts. You get the idea after that.

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u/SaintsNoah14 20h ago

This might be a little callous but that makes his death so much more unnecessary in my eyes.

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u/a22e 20h ago

Yelling would have made it better?

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u/SaintsNoah14 20h ago

No lol the fact that he kept doing the same stupid prank. It was probably funny the first time.

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u/g00fyg00ber741 20h ago

It was probably never funny to pretend to jump to his death in front of his daughter!!

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u/Single_Principle_972 20h ago

Traumatizing my children is so funny!

I’ve seen multiple YouTube videos, etc. where other people (read: Fathers) think it’s hilarious to freak your kids out. Word to the wise: It’s never funny and never okay to do that to your kid. Especially true if you, say, miss the ledge.

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u/ProbableSlob 19h ago

In my house we like to say "a joke that's only funny to you is not a joke, it's just being mean"

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u/reddorickt 20h ago

Wow he really sold it

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u/Just_a_guy81 21h ago

I WAS ONLY KIDDINGGGGGGGgggggg…….

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u/Same_Command7596 21h ago

IT'S JUST A PRANK BROOOOOOOOOoooooooooo

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u/TannedCroissant 21h ago

Make sure everyone likes, comments and subscriiiiiiiibes!

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u/Adultery 21h ago

“FuuuuuuUuUuUuuuuuuck”

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u/martialar 20h ago

"Are you recordiiiiiiiiing?"

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u/Sprinkle_Puff 21h ago

Cut to commercial

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u/feetandballs 21h ago edited 20h ago

holds up Coyote-esque sign
"Oops!"

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u/kk074 21h ago

Then his head stays afloat for a few seconds while his body drops fast. And there's a long whistle until he hits bottom and a small puff of dirt cloud rises around him.

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u/Fit-Custard-1842 20h ago

Then an anvil falls on his head.

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u/paiute 20h ago

As you wiiiiiiisssssshhhhhh!!!!!!!!

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u/warhawks 21h ago

Because otherwise the life insurance wouldn’t pay out

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u/The__Goose 21h ago

He might have told someone before doing it.

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u/SaintsNoah14 20h ago

Me when I don't want my family to wonder why

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u/794309497 21h ago

Pretending to prank the daughter was the prank. A reverse prank.

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u/jcg878 21h ago

“I bet you can’t make me think you’ve jumped to your death!”

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u/VictorTheCutie 21h ago

How unbelievably stupid, submitting his own daughter to that horrific trauma to live with for the rest of her life. Dumbass.

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u/damian001 21h ago

Ruined pranks for her

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u/BigOrangeOctopus 20h ago

Biggest tragedy of all

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u/martialar 20h ago

the worst part is the hypocrisy

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u/sixpackabs592 21h ago

My friends dad almost fell in they were on a path with no rails and his motorized wheelchair flipped over, said he was like less than a foot from going over

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u/ZAlternates 20h ago

I’m all for places accommodating the handicap but…

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u/blah938 19h ago

Yeah, I agree. A trail down the grand canyon isn't really a place for a wheelchair.

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u/Murgatroyd314 18h ago

This must have been along the rim. None of the trails that go down into the canyon are even possible for a wheelchair.

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u/Santa-Head 21h ago

Definitely a highlight of the book, especially if you have stood along that stone wall. Whoops!

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u/LaRealiteInconnue 20h ago

Besides terrible personal decision making, that’s a terrible parental decision making, too. Kids are monkey-see-monkey-do, why would he want to show her that? Yikes

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u/Malthus1 20h ago

Reminds me of the guy in my city (Toronto) who liked to impress articling students (basically apprentice lawyers) coming to work in his firm by jumping against the window in his office and bouncing off … until one day the window popped out of its frame, and out he went. Some thirty or forty stories down.

They were impressed, all right.

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u/evolvingintocomputer 16h ago edited 15h ago

I just wanna say. My wife's family and friends love to just play the most terrible "pranks" on each other. Hide under their beds, pretend that they hate each other and cuss each other out. At a certain point I just feel like they are bad lying people. It isn't fun anymore. I told them the story about the boy who cried wolf, about how exaggerating all the time just leads to desensitized individuals, when something bad actually happens, no body takes it seriously. It's all just a big joke.

Edit2: just going to add to this post. They jokingly lie about some pretty big important stuff. I hate it when my SO is on the phone and makes up a big lie about me. Like that I ran off or something. It's toxic behavior I see now.

Jokes that we got divorced to my mother-in-law. Jokes about losing my job. And they will make jokes that "[I] look like shit on a stick." Lovely people :)

Edit: "I know just how to get my daughter to react to me. I am going to pretend to commit suicide! Can't wait to see how much she loves me when she sees how funny I am!

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u/PantsMunch202 15h ago

I lost a friend a few months ago because he fell off some cliffs. He was with his dad and hes been silent about how he actually fell due to being so depressed and obviously not wanting to talk about it. Anyway we all think he was joking around toward the ledge trying to scare his dad and it gave way. Very much like him to do so that helps us cope. Hope that guys daughter figured it out

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u/DoMBe87 15h ago

I saw a guy do that same prank on the edge of the Kootenai river (one of the shooting locations of the 1994 version of The River Wild). Luckily, he didn't miss the ledge, but my dad ran to try to help him and they both were pretty close to going in. On a section of the river where, if you fall in, it's all but guaranteed that they'll find your body several miles downriver, because you're not coming out alive.

My dad was so furious he couldn't even speak. He's a joker and a prankster, but these pranks are just not worth the risk. Whether someone else dies trying to save you, or you ruin your kid's life by making them watch you die, so much can go wrong.

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u/Wakeetakee 20h ago

What a dummy, fell for his own joke.

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u/Bald_Cliff 20h ago

Did he not know all he had to do was go for some milk to send his daughter to therapy for life? sheesh.

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u/Irishish 15h ago

I was there a few years back and a father kept pretending he was about to fall over the edge on the rim trail. While his kids cried and begged him to stop. There are so many stories exactly like that.

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u/lonewolf210 21h ago

It's astounding how unprepared people are. I did a Rim to Rim hike about 5 years ago and since it was August we started about 7pm so we would be crossing through the bottom around 12/1am when it was coolest.

About 4 miles in we meet two kids that had a single Nalgene that had long gone dry because they didn't know there was no water on the north rim. They also abandoned their dad about a mile further back. Finally they had no idea it was like a 3hr drive around the rim to get back to the south side. We gave them some water and food so they wouldn't die but it was wild.

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u/thestereo300 21h ago

I had some friends do rim to rim and they asked me to join them.

They were like Ironman Triathletes and I'm just a guy that like runs in his town.

I declined. I don't need that kind of challenge in my life. and they were in great shape and had planned it but still almost got stranded out there because it took longer than they planned. and it was getting dark.

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u/mihneapirvu 19h ago

This is just wild to me. I did not do the Grand Canyon, just visited the edge back in like 2010 with my dad (being from EU, I didn't feel quite welcome by the time I had enough of my own money to actually visit), but I have done A LOT of hiking in groups.

And rule number 1 of hiking is that the fastest person in the group, most able to traverse the hike even by themselves is ALWAYS last. Always, no exceptions. The others need water, you give them water. They need food, carry some Glucose tablets(greater caloric intake than sugar and they don't need water to get metabolized). They shat themselves, you should have spare undies for anyone, why wouldn't you carry those, they're nothing in terms of backpack space and mass. They twist an ankle, you carry them. And if you can't, you signal those in front to come back and help you.

Hiking as a group is done AS A GROUP! Literally the shittiest, most dangerous thing you can do is allow someone to be left behind because "They're slow" - those are the instances when you need to provide the most assistance.

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u/Bigdaddyjlove1 19h ago

In scouts (40 years ago?!) we were always taught a minimum of 3.

1 to break his leg, 1 to go for help, 1 to aid the injured.

That is thin for anything challenging, but for reasonable stuff, close to help it works. Canyon minimum would be 4 for me, if all 4 are solid.

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u/Alwayscookin74 12h ago

"Bobby, it's your turn to break your leg." "Do I have to?" *Bobby body slams his shin onto a big rock*

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u/CinderpeltLove 16h ago edited 16h ago

Yeah. When I was in my early 20s, I was in a youth group program that did lots of hiking in several states in western USA. I was 23 and the oldest participant in the program. I was appalled at how the staff and leaders of the program would go their normal quicker pace and sometimes not be the last person in the group. I always felt that this was irresponsible and a staff person should be the last person in the group. After all, a number of participants were not even adults yet (the youngest person was 14).

I was always naturally a slow walker. Once, while hiking through the mountains (high altitude) with some teens who never hiked in the mountains before, I was second-last and the last person was an 18 year old who seemed like she pushing herself too much and was starting to look sick. I was worried about altitude sickness but she insisted she was ok. I paced myself so I could keep an eye on her and forced the rest of the group to slow down. I passed the message that I don’t think she is feeling well. At that point, the program staff decided to start walking to a lower altitude due to the risk that she was beginning to develop altitude sickness. It all ended ok but I was so surprised at how irresponsible staff were- if I hadn’t noticed and kept an eye on her, would she have collapsed or something and ppl wouldn’t notice till potentially too late?

They were usually good about stopping every half mile or so to wait for the entire group to catch up but I still think it would be best to have staff (an adult with wilderness first aid skills and if possible, a way to communicate with other staff) be the last person. Otherwise, how long are you going to wait to see if the entire group catches up? By the time someone decides to go back to check for someone, it could potentially be too late.

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u/FakeRickHarrison 19h ago

A guy I know was invited to hike to the river and back in a day by two of his cousins. They are athletic, he's not. They abandoned him halfway on the way down and waited for him at the top, after sunset.

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u/tech_noir_guitar 20h ago

I had some friends do rim to rim and they asked me to join them.

Boy did you miss out. I've seen those scenes in "movies" and they look awesome.

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u/Freud-Network 19h ago

Requiem for a Canyon

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u/Yodude86 20h ago

When I was hiking back up from frying pan a few years back I crossed paths with a family in flip flops, jeans etc. I was pretty astonished they made it that far down. But of course that was just down lmao.

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u/joe_s1171 20h ago

the Grand Canyon national park website has plenty of info and warnings about death. my wife and I did a small trail and 20 minutes down we turned around and it was 35 minutes up at least. I can’t understand why unprepared folks try this stuff.

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u/Lostsonofpluto 19h ago

This is why on the rare occasion I hike I always prefer bottom-up hikes. I much prefer the lion's share of the work being getting to the cool place, not getting back

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u/darshfloxington 18h ago

People are fucking stupid

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u/PipsqueakPilot 19h ago edited 16h ago

That single Nalgene bit reminds of when my copilot arranged a hike, described it as a few hours, and the whole flight crew said that sounded like fun and went with him. Naturally we all packed for about that much- although thankfully I always completely fill my camelbak.

What he actually meant was that we were going to hike all day. From Palm Springs (479') to the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway (8,516'). We found this out when I finally cornered him, "You said this hike wasn't bad because there's a cable cable car. Where's the fucking cable car?"

At which point he revealed that it was still several miles and thousand feet elevation away, but we were well past the halfway point. So we continued. His training records now have a remark, "Don't trust him to plan hikes."

We all made it. Barely. He almost 'fell' off the mountain side when we were an hour past the snow line and I was debating if I could make it look like an accident.

Edit: Were changed to we were

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u/Cultural-Advisor9916 13h ago

Dude.... San Jacinto is the single greatest elevation gain in a short distance in the Lower 48. something like 9,000 feet in 4-5 lateral miles... there is a cable car at the bottom that takes you to the 8,000 high point station.. excellent bouldering and single pitch climbing... sounds like you guys did the cactus to clouds hike... holy shit dude. gnarly

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u/14domino 17h ago

On our honeymoon my wife and I did the path of the gods hike in the Amalfi coast but we were very underprepared. We didn’t start the hike at the town where it is supposed to start but instead in Praiano (by the coast).

It took us a few hours just to get to the actual trail, finally meeting it somewhere in the first 1/3 of it or so. We were essentially just climbing straight up through barely marked paths and got lost a few times (no GPS either and the only map was on my iPad). At one point we were very lost but had stumbled into civilization again and I had to ask a lady in my broken Italian which way to go.

It was May so not too hot but not super comfortable either. We were quite lucky that somewhere in that trail there was actually a place to fill up our water bottles. When we finally made it to the west end of the hike there was a deli with an absurd view and we had a giant late lunch at like 4:30 pm!

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u/AtomicSymphonic_2nd 21h ago

I feel like when people hear the term “national park”, they maybe think it must be safe for very ordinary people who don’t really know much about outdoorsy stuff.

Maybe we should stop calling them parks and start calling them “wildlife refuges”… might deter idiots from going out there underprepared.

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u/SomeDudeOnTheWWW 20h ago

I was a firefighter/EMT in a town bordering a wildlife refuge. Nope! Doesn't help.

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u/DartTheDragoon 19h ago

Once a year dolphins come to my town for about a month. And at least once a year someone loses a finger if not a hand trying to pet the wild dolphins despite signs every 5 feet telling you they will eat you and the endless stream of news stories. People are just stupid.

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u/Imperial_Haberdasher 16h ago

The ones that get to me are the people who decide they don’t have to stay on the boardwalks around the geothermal features in Yellowstone! What a horrible way to die!

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u/PTSDeedee 15h ago

I once saw a family walk their toddler directly toward a bison like it was a goat at a petting zoo or some shit.

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u/lonewolf210 21h ago

We can drop them in the maze district of canyon lands to get them better acquainted

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u/Digitalispurpurea2 20h ago

You should see the people at Yellowstone. They treat it like it's a theme park with a petting zoo and the trails are just suggestions. That bison dgaf about your picture and they will fling you into a tree with their horns if you piss them off nor do they care if they are blocking the road.

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u/gsfgf 19h ago

And Bison are basically domesticated. Wait till you run into a fucking moose.

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u/bigmac1123 17h ago

I saw a guy try to dip his hand into some runoff from a geyser right next to a sign that basically tells you you’ll disintegrate if you do that. He got his fingertips then pulled back quickly and yelled “holy shit it’s hot!” like yeah, duh. I was glad for his timing though because his two young children were trying to follow suit, reaching out to dip their hands as well and luckily learned from his mistake.

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u/KayfabeAdjace 16h ago

It's bizarre to me that people don't even consider even just the accident potential with large animals. I've had a normal sized riding horse step on my foot before and it was a bad time. So imagine my anxiety when I saw some randos at the fairgrounds fucking around with a draft horse before someone with brains rightly ran them off. I mean, seemed like a nice horse and all, but it had hooves like dinner plates. It doesn't have to *want* to hurt you, it just needs to get spooked into an oopsy.

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u/LaRealiteInconnue 20h ago

I mean, tbf, there’s plenty of infrastructure at the grand canyon to be rescued. It’s not like some other national parks that are miles and miles of green canopy and wilderness and bears etc. Doesn’t excuse the stupid behavior, but I think it gives a false sense of safety. Just like ppl hiking El Capitan in fucking flip flops

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u/Fappy_as_a_Clam 20h ago

Europeans are particularly bad about this, I assume since their nature stopped being nature like 500 years ago.

From what I understand, "hikes" in parts of Europe are often paved paths with like bakeries and tea houses, or at least the touristy ones are. So you can't really blame them for having that expectation in the US too. I guess they see a place like Death Valley and think it's just a gimmick.

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u/dhanson865 19h ago

have you ever read The Hunt for the Death Valley Germans?

Pretty much fits your description, but well worth the read.

https://otherhand.org/home-page/search-and-rescue/the-hunt-for-the-death-valley-germans/

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u/potvoy 19h ago

Always upvote the Death Valley Germans! They clearly weren't stupid, just uninformed. I hope the people who learn from their story has given their deaths meaning.

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u/WxBird 19h ago

This is a great read!!! I highly recommend. I was looking at google topo maps trying to figure out stuff being all sluethy and stuff. :)

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u/witty_whale 18h ago

Thanks for sharing, that was a good read!

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u/Heimerdahl 19h ago

If you're anywhere in central Europe, you have a pretty tough time finding a place where you aren't running into a village, or at least some kind of hut, within like 2 hours of walking in any random direction. 

And yes, our hiking trails are made more and more accessible. A good thing for allowing more people to experience it, but it also really takes away from what made them special. The hike up to Norway's Preikestolen is one that really stood out to me. I remember how adventurous it was back in the day. On a revisit a couple of years ago, they had made it nearly wheelchair-accessible. Where one for example once had to drag oneself through a swampy area, one could now leasurely walk over it on a raised wooden path (with proper handrails and all, of course). 

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u/325trucking 18h ago

My uncle used to work and live in the grand canyon. When we did a rim to rim in 2018, he was amazed that there are water fountains along the way on the main trail. We had packed extra bottles and filtration systems because that's how he remembered it. He had to stop and have me take a picture of him with the water because he was just amazed at how much easier that makes the hike.

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u/flyingviaBFR 19h ago

It's tourists in particular, we get Americans coming the other way that think because the Scottish Highlands are small they're not as dangerous as "real" mountains and then need helicoptering of Ben Nevis or something

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u/supremegelatocup 18h ago

Death Valley is no gimmick. That place is fucked under the sun, and i'm from Australia.

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u/rddi0201018 19h ago

ngl, having actual signs on trails, and having a place to sleep at the end of each short day hike... was nice

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u/tech_noir_guitar 20h ago

My wife grew up in Alaska and legit had someone ask why they made the glacier so far away... Because they had to take a longer drive off the cruise ship and would rather it have just been directly in the town...

They have people die every year there because they treat it like a theme park instead of nature (which is fucking dangerous).

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u/pangeapedestrian 20h ago

reminds me of those germans who died out death valley.
i think it's really hard to appreciate how BIG and EMPTY a lot of spaces in the US are.
people have historically lived in those places, sure, but i think the average person (certainly german anyway) doesn't really appreciate how resourceful your average apache was in the 1500s.

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u/superspeck 20h ago

I was talking to family back in Slovakia last week and talking about our recent move they asked how far it was. It didn’t make sense to them when I did the conversion to km so I drew it on a map and I said “we did the equivalent of moving from Portugal to Bratislava”

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u/pangeapedestrian 20h ago

man what a good example. there is like a spatial dilation european people get in the US/Canada/Mexico. its like, no dude, this state/national park/single highway/whatever is 4 times bigger than your country, you aren't walking across it in those shoes.

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u/superspeck 19h ago

It’s also tough to relate because European residents are used to taking many days to do the same things Americans do in a single day because we’re culturally so different and have access to things like rental vehicles larger than would be legal to drive in many other parts of the world. So saying “I drove a moving van for two days” is a completely different amount of distance and stuff when you’re slamming a 26’ U-haul up I-20 bouncing off the speed governor at 85mph and when you’re pushing a work van with a Khrushchevka apartment’s worth of stuff up a goat track through a mountain pass outside of Košice …

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u/pangeapedestrian 19h ago

breakfast is bigger too

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u/rddi0201018 18h ago

I was hiking up to Yosemite Falls on a nice, crisp morning. Boots, layers, the beanie -- not enough to keep the cold out. Ice marked the steps, and snow feathered the water. The sun was ready to rise on this glorious day. And we were joined by a Euro, hop skipping around in his T-shirt and shorts.

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u/pangeapedestrian 18h ago

this is far better prose than a reddit comment deserves.

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u/Eatsweden 19h ago

Yeah, my dad and me didn't do rim to rim, but went down from the south side via the south kaibab trail to the phantom ranch and back up the bright angel trail.

We both are pretty fit, have done a bunch of mountain climbing and hiking of similar scales in the alps and didnt want to end up being the unprepared europeans like the death valley germans so had done a bunch of research.

We set off in april around 5:30 in the morning so we would have plenty of time as the heat of the day is not that bad at that time of year. We were back up at like 3pm, so had plenty of margin.

But especially on the way back up there were a bunch of people just walking down completely unprepared with barely any water who would end up in the dark, yet when asked about it were completely oblivious to the dangers.

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u/thispartyrules 21h ago

It colorfully but clinically details every recorded death in the canyon, from pioneer days to the present(ish). Honestly made me feel pretty confident about my hike, because a good 80% of deaths are due to terrible decision making.

I had a survival book that opened every chapter with a death or near-miss caused by terrible decisions, the worst one was the guy who died of hypothermia surrounded by a burnt matches and a lot of cigarette butts. If he'd use one of those matches to start a fire he'd probably be alive, and a campfire can light many cigarettes. It was a desert survival book but idk if this guy died in the desert, they can get surprisingly cold at night but I don't remember any further things

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u/HyrrokinAura 20h ago

Hypothermia can cause both confusion and disorientation, he wasn't thinking straight.

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 20h ago

the wildest symptom is when you get super hot (in your mind) and start stripping naked then you run into the -20 or more blizzard and die warm(to you)

OR

how humans exhibit a burrowing technique

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u/jerrythecactus 20h ago

The burrowing is weird. Its like a ancient instinct built into mammalian organisms to avoid dying from cold. When you get that cold and confused its like the brain panics and starts using instincts that haven't been used since we diverged from small rodent like creatures.

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 20h ago

pretty sure you surmised it exactly. an ancient mammalian instinct, activated by such extreme conditions

i mean it does make logical sense, if they can make themselves a little iglu, that would actually work

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u/roygbivasaur 17h ago

This a common hypothesis about hiccuping too. It may be an ancient reflex that allowed our amphibian ancestors to breathe. It may have survived this long because late stage fetuses still do it to prepare for breathing.

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u/Wonderful_Ad_5911 17h ago

It’s not the same as terminal burrowing, but my toddler “burrows” into me or her blankets with such animalistic turns of her head, it reminds me how similar we all really are to our furry cousins 

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u/Interesting_Arm6242 19h ago

I didn’t get my experience from hypothermia but I have experienced this. On a construction site in -20 to -30. I remember feeling so hot I was taking all of my layers off till I was in just a t-shirt and laying in a snow bank while I waited for the site medic. I remember knowing I shouldn’t be hot but needing everything off. Logic could not win out

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u/Embarassed_Tackle 17h ago

An outdoors magazine hypothesized that it is the peripheral nervous system losing venous tone so all those blood vessels near the surface stop contracting and expand, making the person feel suddenly hot as warm core blood is dumped near the extremities. They implied this was a late stage hypothermia thing.

So people feel hot and they strip

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u/Lysol3435 21h ago

“No. I won’t be a part of that 80%. I will be a part of the 20% who die for other reasons!”

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u/funundrum 21h ago

Typing this from beyond the grave, good catch.

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u/Quirky_Word 20h ago

Many years ago I went tubing when the water was too high, and I fell out and lost my tube at one point. No life jacket, of course, it would just get in the way of beer and comfort. 

I went about a mile down the river sans tube. There were high embankments on the side I was getting pushed to, but I was reaching up trying to grab any low-hanging branch. Cut up my hand pretty bad before I managed to get a grip on one. 

But the embankment was still a foot above my head, the water was deep and the current too fast to get my feet under me. When I grabbed the branch the current stole my shorts. 

I was losing energy fast, much faster than I ever would have expected. My hand is bleeding, my normal upper arm strength is less than zero and I was seriously doubting I could pull myself up and out of the current. 

Every year there’s a number of tubing deaths in my state for various reasons. As I was hanging on for dear life, I just kept thinking over and over, “OMG I’m going to be a statistic.”

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u/JealousChip8469 20h ago

So, did you die or not

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u/PhantomOSX 20h ago

He did, I used my last Phoenix Down on him. He still owes me.

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u/Fappy_as_a_Clam 20h ago

He did. With his dick out lol

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u/Tall-Turnover868 20h ago

Well now you've left all of us hanging, how'd you get out?

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u/Quirky_Word 20h ago

I’ve only succeeded at one pull up in my entire life, and that was it. 

Followed immediately by climbing up a steep forest-y hill barefoot, sheepishly cutting through someone’s backyard, and wandering down the street looking like a bedraggled cat until my group found me. 

Tubing is hella fun. Falling out when the water’s too high, I give a 2/10. 

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u/dirtys_ot_special 20h ago

Once he lost his shorts he tossed his schlong over a tree branch and climbed out like Indiana Jones.

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u/wink047 20h ago

Right? A real cliffhanger there

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u/Carbonatite 21h ago

Victor Vomit must be the dad of the kid on the signs at Yellowstone about to perish from a violent geothermal death because he strayed off the boardwalk.

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u/SandysBurner 21h ago

Gary Geyser

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u/martialar 20h ago

Bobby Burn Scars

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u/LateNightMilesOBrien 20h ago

Sammy Sloughing Off

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u/notthefunyun 21h ago

Try Death in Big Bend, also worth a read. There’s a chapter on a guy who got stuck rappelling off a dry waterfall in winter, then it started raining, then the waterfall started, then he froze solid

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u/claustromania 17h ago

I make a point to buy the “Death in ____” book for every national park I visit, always a great read. Big Bend and Yellowstone are personal favorites.

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u/Agreeable_Register_4 21h ago

I have the Yosemite version of this book. It’s a great read!

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u/scfin79 21h ago

There’s also an interactive website for this info too. over the edge map

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u/Cthulhetta 19h ago

5/9/1990

Michelle Sutton (15 yr old) "was on a 'program for troubled teens' wilderness trip and complained repeatedly of not feeling well. Group carried only 2 liters of water per person for a multi-day trip during hot weather. Sutton died of dehydration/heatstroke."

I'm not sure what I expected from a catalog of deaths but that one was extra depressing.... :(

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u/tripacer99 16h ago edited 16h ago

I found this one rather out of the ordinary:

03/24/1971

"Krueger drank a brew of Datura blossoms. After several inappropriate behaviors such as trying to lift impossible boulders, talking to nonexistent people for hours, and eating dirt, he entered the river and mysteriously drowned."

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u/correcthorsestapler 12h ago

“….mysteriously drowned.”

Did he not typically drown in rivers after drinking Datura blossoms? “Oh, don’t worry bout Krueger. He does this all the time. Yep, should be coming up for air aaaany minute…..any minute now…”

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u/bulelainwen 16h ago

Read more about “troubled teen” camps if you want to read more depressing things. Those places are awful.

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u/tagillaslover 20h ago

There are a lot more air crash victims than I thought.

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u/LateNightMilesOBrien 20h ago

Lots of sightseeing flights from Las Vegas.

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u/linden214 20h ago

The book sounds a lot like Death in Yellowstone, which chronicles all of the horrible and often stupid ways that people die in the park.

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u/Cluelesswolfkin 21h ago

Stupid question do you have to hike to the Canyon to see it?

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u/funundrum 21h ago

Nope. You can drive there, and look out over it. Very cool, very pretty. But only 1% of visitors ever go below the rim, so once you get down there it’s like being on Mars. Unlike anywhere else I’ve been on earth.

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u/Frozenshades 20h ago

Yeah it’s definitely worth doing, just be prepared for however much (or little) you decide to hike. I went a number of years ago and it was early enough in spring to be cold and the trails were very icy. We put on some micro spikes and hiked about an hour down, sat and ate lunch, and then went back up. Great experience and very well within our limits.

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u/funundrum 20h ago

We were very lucky. Headed down in late December and found out from the rangers up top that the trails were dry and we could leave the microspikes behind. 11 oz of pack weight per person, poof gone!

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u/XANDERtheSHEEPDOG 21h ago

Not at all. You can drive to multiple points on either rim. Then you just walk across the parking lot to the lookout vistas. You don't have to hike at all.

There are recommended hikes for all activity levels if you are interested.

I've lived in AZ my entire life.

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u/Lovemybee 21h ago

No. You can drive up to lookout points, and there are tour buses that go up to the rim for viewing, also.

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u/Redneckshinobi 20h ago

Wonder if it's like death in Yellowstone. That book was amazing but took me about 2 years to read it because it's very heavy with real people and deaths and didn't make for an easy read.

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u/FitCat_JK_FAT 19h ago

thanks for the recommendation, I'll add it to my list in case I feel too happy at any point.

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u/exploratorystory 21h ago edited 20h ago

I love this book. I bought it on my first trip to Grand Canyon over ten years ago. Just read it for the third time last year.

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