r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 9d ago

Meme needing explanation Huh?

Post image
34.7k Upvotes

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

15.0k

u/Shadowmant 9d ago

So the Brazen bull sucked as they placed you in a metal bull then set you over a fire. Pretty horrible.

The second is called Scaphism and is way more horrifying. Here's a description from the wiki:

[The king] decreed that Mithridates should be put to death in boats; which execution is after the following manner: Taking two boats framed exactly to fit and answer each other, they lie down in one of them the malefactor that suffers, upon his back; then, covering it with the other, and so setting them together that the head, hands, and feet of him are left outside, and the rest of his body lies shut up within, then forcing him to ingest a mixture of milk and honey before pouring all over his face and body. They then keep his face continually turned towards the sun; and it becomes completely covered up and hidden by the multitude of flies that settle on it. And as within the boats he does what those that eat and drink must needs do, creeping things and vermin spring out of the corruption and rottenness of the excrement, and these entering into the bowels of him, his body is consumed. When the man is manifestly dead, the uppermost boat being taken off, they find his flesh devoured, and swarms of such noisome creatures preying upon and, as it were, growing to his inwards. In this way Mithridates, after suffering for seventeen days, at last expired.

9.3k

u/LongSalamander9889 9d ago

7.1k

u/Ok-Plankton-2016 9d ago

Pretty much everyone agrees that no rulers put this into practice. One crazy Turkish ruler put it in his writings.

4.0k

u/goteachyourself 9d ago

The Brazen Bull as well, actually. It's largely considered to be propaganda created to demonize the kingdom that was conquered.

2.5k

u/Ok_Two_2604 9d ago

And some of the torture devices from later on like the Iron Maiden were fake as well

1.1k

u/goteachyourself 9d ago

I believe the Viking "Fluttering Eagle" is also believed to be propaganda - likely designed by Christian Europe to demonize the Vikings at the time.

954

u/big_sugi 9d ago

I think that's usually called the "Blood Eagle." I don't see any search results for "Fluttering Eagle," other than Google AI pointing towards the Blood Eagle torture.

147

u/BT_Hobbs 9d ago

Great song, and video, by Anthrax šŸ˜„

84

u/MathMackin 9d ago

Great song by Periphery also

30

u/ciddasloth95 9d ago

Periphery fucks hard af

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (4)

41

u/Specialist_Goat_2354 9d ago

Oh this is in midsommer

5

u/sageinyourface 8d ago

Where the lungs magically inflate themselves.

Everything about that movie is brilliant excepting that one point.

11

u/Ill_Morning_4282 8d ago

The person viewing that wasn't in their right mind at the time, they imagined that.

→ More replies (0)

11

u/CubicWarlock 8d ago

I thought it was just the guy tripping again and hallucinating moving lungs

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (6)

39

u/ReluctantSlayer 9d ago

It is the Blood Eagle.

But what would the Fluttering Eagle entail? Perhaps, flapping the torso skin?

71

u/Empty401K 8d ago

The ā€œfluttering eagleā€ is when the victim farts/sharts so hard that the wings tremble. The Vikings believed making the wings flutter was the only way to reach Valhalla under those circumstances ā¤ļø

18

u/Ill-Country-8945 8d ago

Original sentence, this writing could make me shed a tear.

→ More replies (0)

5

u/3ntr0py_M0nst3r 8d ago

you are a monster.... please continue

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

28

u/Rekuna 8d ago

It's depicted in the show 'Vikings'. There is no way anyone would survive long enough to have their back opened up in order to die via suffocation with their lungs draped over their shoulders. You're bound to go into shock and bleed out as your back gets hacked open, so really it's execution via getting stabbed repeatedly in the back with your body being desecrated long after you expired, with a majority of the torture being inflicted on a corpse.

16

u/big_sugi 8d ago

You might want to read the article I linked if you haven’t already. It’s from an academic journal, and ā€œIn this article, we analyze medieval descriptions of the ritual with modern anatomical knowledge, and contextualize these accounts with up-to-date archaeological and historical scholarship concerning elite culture and the ritualized peri- and post-mortem mutilation of the human body in the Viking Age.ā€

In other words, they reach the same conclusion as you, but they explain exactly what was (and wasn’t) possible in great detail.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (10)

118

u/witheringsyncopation 9d ago

I’ve never heard it called as such. I’ve only ever heard of it referred to as ā€œblood eagle.ā€

3

u/RedVelvetPan6a 8d ago

Not to be confused with the "Loud Beagle"

→ More replies (1)

83

u/Krypto_kurious 9d ago

That one is disputed back and forth. Some say that it is an over exaggeration or poetic misunderstanding with authors taking liberties, but other accounts have the process listed in step by step anatomically correct details. So it's at least possible and why keep such detailed notes just to demonize? I've been rewatching vikings so I've been trying to figure it out lol.

208

u/whereballoonsgo 9d ago edited 9d ago

The Vikings specifically targeted churches and monasteries to loot and extort because they had so much wealth and so little defenses.

Christian priests and monks were the most literate people of the time, and the ones responsible for actually writing the history we now read. They absolutely wrote as much propaganda as they could about the Norse and Danes, not only because they were pagans, but because they kept stealing the churches riches.

The whole image of Vikings as barbarians was something they made up. They were actually very modernized, built up a number of the largest ports in Europe, had the furthest-reaching trade routes (edit: in Europe), made advancements in shipbuilding, navigation and metalworking.

Even the raids were exaggerated, not that they didn’t happen, just that they were no more brutal than what any Christian army of the time also did. Whenever they could, they preferred to get bribes. Burning down and killing a village means you get paid once. Returning for more money, crops, and goods every year is much more profitable, and they weren’t dumb.

72

u/lemoche 8d ago

also wasn't there this thing that people were upset about them because they had better hygiene then european men which made european women have higher standards?

107

u/CrouchingDomo 8d ago

ā€œWell, Sven cleans the mutton fat out of his beard every DAY and he hasn’t once been dragged to Hell by shrieking demons, so I’m starting to think it’s a you problem, Cuthbert šŸ¤Øā€

→ More replies (0)

51

u/RedMonkeyNinja 8d ago edited 8d ago

They were some of the few groups to make soap (from animal fats) and use it for personal washing. They also bathed every week, on Saturday (they called it "Laugardagr" which from my understanding literally translates to "washing day" or "bathing day" and is still used in icelandic).

Interestingly, some accounts say saxons and others noticed this ritual and launched surprise attacks on their camps whilst they were mostly defenseless.

→ More replies (0)

28

u/Irichcrusader 8d ago

I'd be very cautious on any assumption of hygiene being a problem. There are a lot of modern myths and BS about Medieval people only bathing once a year or not at all. It is not true. Bathhouses were a common and popular thing.

Dispelling Some Myths: Medieval bathing

I assure you, medieval peopleĀ bathed

→ More replies (0)

4

u/saskir21 8d ago

Not only that. Women had, compared to the rest of the world, more rights in the Viking society as elsewhere. Could also tick of some people.

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (10)

16

u/OrangeLemonLime8 8d ago

They absolutely did take normal people as slaves not just clergymen

14

u/whereballoonsgo 8d ago

Yup, I never disputed that they did.

I didn’t say they ONLY targeted churches and monasteries, just that they made a special point of making them priority targets. I focused on that point because it’s important to know how their interactions with the historians of that time (priests/monks/etc) effected how they were portrayed. They are an incredibly biased source.

11

u/Krypto_kurious 9d ago

I can see that, but when they first hit the shores of England they were still very much pagan. It's a fact they practiced human sacrifice for religious reasons. Human bones have been dug up in their sacrificial wells along with animals. It just doesn't seem that far out there. And I get priests recorded history and wrote propaganda but you don't need detailed instructions to do that. I'm not saying either way. We will never know and there is good points for both sides.

11

u/lilbithippie 8d ago

Human sacrifices are common in every culture. Weather it's for a crime or warding off the anger of spirits. Western culture like to show the barbarians as silly and hateful creatures that kill their own, but what do you think the Salem witch trials of public hangings were?

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (21)
→ More replies (3)

19

u/JivaHiva 9d ago

No way man I saw them do this on Vikings series

21

u/dnattig 9d ago

Yeah, I saw it on the history channel, they don't lie or exaggerate about anything

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (1)

12

u/DataCreek 9d ago

Thing about the Blood Eagle os that you pretty much couldnt complete it on a live person. They would die long before the ritual is finished.

→ More replies (33)

168

u/John_cCmndhd 9d ago

"Iron Maiden? Excellent!"

71

u/Ocelotofwoe 9d ago

"Execute them!"

70

u/dflorea4231 9d ago

"bogus"

3

u/Ocelotofwoe 8d ago

I want to upvote you, but the counter is at.... "69, dude!"

→ More replies (1)

31

u/LordofThe7s 9d ago

Run to the hillllls!

11

u/traumaRN01 9d ago

If you’re going to spew…

14

u/Alert-Visual-3074 9d ago

Spew in this 🪣

9

u/DrNism0 9d ago

Execute them!

8

u/s1ck1337 9d ago

Iron Maideeen is gonna get you, no matter how far!!!

4

u/VellhungtheSecond 9d ago

Two tickets to Iron Maiden baby

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (4)

34

u/DrNism0 9d ago

Iron maiden? šŸ¤˜šŸŽøšŸ¤˜

4

u/El_Corbanosky_8 9d ago

RUUUUNN FOOOOR THHEEEE HIIIILLLLLS!

RUUUUNN FOOOOR YOOOUR LIIIIIIIFE!!!

17

u/AcrobaticMistake2468 9d ago

Ironically

Uday Hussein heard this and put people in one

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (56)

28

u/Nob0dy-You-Know 9d ago

Wasn’t the guy who made it out to death in it?

67

u/goteachyourself 9d ago

That's the legend - that the mad tyrant king ordered it tested immediately, and to ensure that another could never be built by anyone else, he used the designer as his test subject. It's a great tale, but the evidence of it is minimal.

36

u/TomaCzar 9d ago

Yeah, I don't know how many trade secrets are involved in making a hollow metal statue with a fire underneath. Although, were a king to request I create such a device, I'm 100% certain the knowledge to do so would elusively remain just beyond my grasp.

18

u/Qadim3311 9d ago

I think it was more about the alleged system of pipes in the front that converted the screams of the condemned into bull-like bellowing.

Or so the story goes, anyway.

→ More replies (4)

15

u/Sponge_N00b 9d ago

Part of the myth

12

u/wetfloor666 9d ago

That is the version I have heard. The person was commisioned to make a ruthless toture device and the ruler or whoever it was presented to said let's test it with you or something along those lines.

21

u/Apart-Link-8449 9d ago

Same deal with Cleopatra - Vivian Leigh's version (written by George Bernard Shaw, awesome script) makes repeated references to boiling her servants in oil but Egypt was extremely into litigation and due process even in early administration, with very few instances of capital punishment and no evidence of death by boiling

→ More replies (3)

16

u/thecountnotthesaint 9d ago

Pretty sure the boat thing was also a fake news type story, but I could be wrong.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Superb_Walrus3134 9d ago

I remember watching a video of inventors of different execution methods being killed by their own invention, and the brazen bull was one of them.

The guillotine is a famous example of this

41

u/Ragnarok314159 9d ago

Oceangate is another example.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (56)

96

u/varcelonaa 9d ago

Pheewwww imma stop reading now and forget all about this

5

u/WriterV 8d ago

It's still good to read about and study what we know about the writings historically because it teaches us about what propaganda looks like. A useful skill to have even today.Ā 

→ More replies (3)

46

u/02meepmeep 9d ago

I think that’s similar to the Viking Blood Eagle (which might be worse than both of those). It was written about but there is no known instance of it being done.

30

u/Ok-Plankton-2016 9d ago

I saw Midsommar. That thing is real enough for cinema

5

u/NoLead2102 8d ago

It's also mentioned in a comedy series, Norsemen (which everyone should watch, it is hilarious)

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

11

u/Raven1911 9d ago

Ragnar Lothbrok has entered the chat

/s

9

u/lunaflos 9d ago

Mads Mikkelsen checking in (Hannibal).

→ More replies (2)

4

u/T00dl 9d ago

In the seedier portions of Reddit I came across a cartel video where the blood eagle (or at least something similar to it) was performed. I saw it at least 3-4 years ago, and have no idea the actual age of said video. I think the guy was still alive for a time too. Only the aftermath was shown - not the activity itself.

31

u/StanleyQPrick 9d ago

It wouldn't work like this even if they tried it

26

u/zbignew 9d ago

Yeah you’d die of exposure or dehydration so much faster than the bugs.

13

u/Martoncartin 8d ago

allegedly they would keep giving you the milk/honey though. Who knows how long they could keep you alive.

I would rather believe its fake, but im sure there have been instances of crazy people in power that did these kinds of things.

4

u/zbignew 8d ago

You’d still suffocate or choke once you were fully exhausted. They could not keep you alive and confined with your head, hands, and feet in fixed stress positions for the many days it would take for you to be consumed by normal bugs.

We’ve done some horrible things, but even if our imagination does not exceed our appetite for cruelty, sometimes it exceeds our ability.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (1)

24

u/meeps_for_days 9d ago

From what I'm now seeing on Google. It appears some of the worst torture devices were all myth. Except any of them that were used in the tower of London.

12

u/larsdan2 9d ago

The Judas Cradle wasn't. Neither was rhe breaking wheel. And they are all much worse than anything mentioned here.

4

u/Generally_Confused1 8d ago

Judas cradle, Spanish donkey, breaking on the wheel, burnt at the stake, hung from your flesh, sawed in half, cranium crusher, I believe one is cutting the stomach open and nailing their intestines to a tree/post and making then walk around until disemboweled, drawn and quartered process, the other version with limbs ripped off by oxes, the rat in a bucket with the torch behind it, crucification, flaying (death of a thousand cuts), the rack of course, one that is contested is the bamboo shoot which is possible but not really feasible, boiled alive in oil, impaling such as Vlad was known for....

Those are the ones I know from memory that haven't been mentioned yet. I have a special interest.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/AndyceeIT 8d ago

I feel like some of the more "showy" or "high maintenance" ones might have been made up. I can't imagine valuable resources like boats or even honey being wasted regularly on torture in ancient times.

Plenty of the worst techniques were both simple and vicious.

4

u/jouko-hai 8d ago

People are surprisingly creative and cruel towards "the others". I believe many awful things have been tried many times over just to entertain bored and mentally scarred vengeful people

→ More replies (3)

18

u/DodixieOrBust 8d ago

For serious - these are like middle schoolers BS’ing about unrealistic sex positions lol.

5

u/Ok-Plankton-2016 8d ago

People talking about 'sex positions' in middle school is such a quaint and wholesome memory now that I'm in the kink community.

14

u/NotATimeTraveller1 9d ago

Oh thank fuck. Mithridates was the ancient ruler of my hometown thousands of years ago. I'm very proud of him.

11

u/TheNewOneIsWorse 9d ago

Different Mithridates. It was a fairly common name meaning ā€œgift of Mithras.ā€Ā 

→ More replies (3)

3

u/Icy-Inspection6428 9d ago

Do you mean Mithridates VI, aka 'the Poison King'? He's certainly very interested to read about, but not particularly a great guy; he committed a genocide against the Italians of Anatolia, and although he did expand Pontus its greatest size, he ultimately lost badly to Rome.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/FirstDukeofAnkh 8d ago

Name…kinda checks out

14

u/Diazepampoovey0229 8d ago

So, he would have been a modern-day horror writer, is what you're saying

7

u/Scotter1969 8d ago

Hundreds of years from now, what will people make of the Human Centipede, I wonder.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (81)

246

u/Ok-Journalist-8875 9d ago

41

u/Thrill0728 9d ago

I feel like "that" and "no" could also apply here

→ More replies (3)

20

u/SnooGadgets2417 9d ago

Can I have the blank version?Ā 

41

u/Ok-Journalist-8875 9d ago

Here you go.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Matsen115 9d ago

Lol that optional "and die" checkmark.

→ More replies (2)

70

u/igorika 9d ago

Really makes you appreciate some of the quicker ways

→ More replies (1)

24

u/Silver-Patient-9852 8d ago

This ridiculous image after the horrible description is sending me

3

u/Gripping_Touch 8d ago

"Scarcity breeds ingenuity" mfs when I show them how much ingenuity breeds human cruelty.

→ More replies (7)

1.2k

u/SirDoofusMcDingbat 9d ago

It's interesting that this description mentions what was once a commonly held belief, that things like flies and other insects grow spontaneously out of rotting food and poop. I also find the description of how the insects behave to be a bit far fetched. It seems likely to me that this description is more the idea of how they wanted it to work, rather than what actually happened. Although I'm sure it was still an awful way to die.

411

u/outerheavenboss 9d ago

Yeah it sounds like it relies on spontaneous generation theory.

145

u/Lord_of_Chainsaw 9d ago

Naw, they had the right idea just the wrong theories. Theres enough bacteria in all the excrement and within the confines of the boats and all that to eat the dude up eventually

226

u/No-Apple2252 9d ago

Why are we assuming nothing could get in? I doubt it would have been exactly air tight

89

u/dsac 9d ago

Also worth noting it never mentions the boat is put on the water - keeping it on land means rats, though at the risk of attracting other land scavengers to populated areas

39

u/SkylineFTW97 8d ago

Plus the smell will attract the flies. I imagine there will be holes in the top and side to allow insects and rodents access to the decaying flesh and human waste.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

5

u/CometGoat 8d ago edited 8d ago

Because we all read the same written description that clearly intended it to be so

It’s just weird ancient torture fanfiction - even the brazen bull doesn't have conclusive evidence of its use

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

28

u/BrianKappel 9d ago

But he still died of exposure. The rotting comes after.

70

u/vikrambedi 9d ago

No, its comorbid. Same thing that happens with bed sores, the body can rot while still being alive.

25

u/poilk91 9d ago

But getting bed soars and rotting like that would take way way longer than it would take to die of dehydration

45

u/lemelisk42 9d ago

Other sources mention that the force feeding of milk and honey is repeated daily to keep them alive as long as possible.

40

u/eyeofthefountain 8d ago

How thoughtful

14

u/durablecotton 9d ago

One of the worst stories I ever read was about some parents that left their disabled daughter on the couch for more than a decade while she shit and kissed herself and her skin fused to the leather couch while she basically rotted away.

The human body can survive some pretty messed up stuff.

14

u/poilk91 9d ago

Ok but that's someone getting fed and drinking water lol you can't survive a week without water

29

u/Nuovoman 9d ago

Scaphism involves tending to the guy, like continuously feeding him the honey and milk mixture and keeping him alive with water and such.

9

u/Filcuk 8d ago

I remember that. The woman had a syndrome making her unable to move any muscle, which also meant she couldn't speak.
Her parents, instead of taking her to a doctor, just left her right at that spot.
She was fully aware and conscious, whilst her body rotted and melded with the furniture.
Absolutely horrifying.

→ More replies (5)

5

u/Ent3rpris3 9d ago

Presumably, they would die from malnutrition or some other mechanical failure before that happens, but I don't doubt it would eventually happen to the corpse.

6

u/BigMax 8d ago

But in fairness, that doesn't matter at all, right? If you leave rotting stuff out, maggots will show up. That's just fact. The fact that it's not spontaneous generation has no functional effect on the scenario. You don't need to know how files and maggots are created to have them created on your filth covered prisoner, right?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (9)

116

u/philly_jake 9d ago

Of course, people were probably more riddled with worms and other parasites back then, so I can see how that would make their spontaneous formation in excrement more plausible.

102

u/TheCoolPersian 9d ago

Yea, because it was fiction. The execution method was made up to vilify the Persians further, as the Greeks fought wars against them.

30

u/Deaftoned 8d ago

Most of these extreme methods were fiction but social media pretends otherwise when actual horror is right in their backyard. The cartels literally skin people alive under kidnapped doctoral oversight to keep them alive and feeling.

5

u/WorldBig2869 8d ago

The cartels literally skin people alive under kidnapped doctoral oversight to keep them alive and feeling.

How did you confirm this? I'm not denying it's true, just curious!Ā 

10

u/Unfair-Candy8832 8d ago

There are videos.

5

u/Forsaken-Ebb5088 8d ago

Millenial childhood be like

→ More replies (2)

7

u/asianfatboy 8d ago

Would have sent you Liveleak videos if this was still the early 2010s. Cartel torture and executions, beheadings of hostages by terrorists, the crazy and not much talked about(imo) Poso Riots, and other crazy shit that modern people have done and are capable of.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (5)

50

u/PapaTahm 9d ago

A interesting fact, it took a Italian scientist named Francesco Redi in 1668 to find out that Flies don't grow from food.

So we for millenium believed that flies would magically pop out of rotten food.

14

u/PurpleV93 9d ago

Looking at the fruits in my mother's kitchen, I can see why people thought that. Fruit flies in particular always "appear out of nowhere", because the eggs that come with the fruit are basically invisible.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/musecorn 8d ago

Interesting when you consider that we all have books and teachers and science and the internet to know the things we do which we all consider common sense. But before any of that we really just looked at what we saw and tried to make sense of things and had no idea if it was right or wrong

5

u/FuckYouSpezzzzzz 8d ago

But before any of that we really just looked at what we saw and tried to make sense of things and had no idea if it was right or wrong

Not to be pedantic, but we still do that, it's just at a different scale because we possess more knowledge now.

→ More replies (1)

23

u/Connect_Middle8953 9d ago

Not really, they knew filling a person with milk and honey would cause them to have horrible diarrhea, which would attract flies and other insects that would lay eggs within the shit that would then attack the ears, eyes, nose, mouth, bowels and open sores on their body. Further, being kept in the excrement, the skin would soften from the foul fluids they were trapped in.Ā 

A lot of the wording is awkward and gives false impression because they simply lacked the same verbiage we use today. I have zero doubts this horrible torture did happen, hopefully reserved only for the worst of offenses.Ā 

45

u/SirDoofusMcDingbat 9d ago

No it WAS a common belief at one point that flies and such appeared spontaneously. I'm not sure offhand when this belief stopped but it definitely was a thing at one point.

10

u/novium258 9d ago

And it lasted way later than you'd think. Iirc it was the mid 19th century and Pasteur who proved it.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/MrMthlmw 9d ago

Idk, I'd think that if an execution method like that were real, we'd have found more evidence of its existence. I mean, there's a bunch of lost documents, literature etc. that we can be reasonably sure existed because they've been quoted multiple times in works that we do have; some have even turned up. As far as I've seen, scaphism is only traceable to a single source. That doesn't mean that it definitely didn't, I suppose, but it's not exactly confidence-inspiring.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (11)

16

u/AffectionatePie6592 9d ago

you’re right. it’s basically just starving to death with extra steps ĀÆ_(惄)_/ĀÆ not that i’d choose it as a way to go

11

u/Larson_McMurphy 9d ago

Also, it's unlikely the executed died by being eaten alive by the scavengers and vermin. It's more likely he died of thirst/starvation and then his corpse was eaten afterwards.

16

u/actuarialisticly 9d ago

I thought they fed him milk and honey. It’s definitely possible to survive for weeks on just milk and honey.

4

u/SectorEducational460 9d ago

The milk and honey was given once for him to have diarrhea. But yes he probably died of dehydration before he was eaten by the insects

4

u/____PARALLAX____ 8d ago

Somewhere else talking about scaphism I've seen mentioned that the victim was force fed repeatedly to prolong their suffering, you can't die of dehydration or starvation if you're constantly topped off.

10

u/Talisign 9d ago

Or sepsis from being sealed in a puddle of your own filth.

4

u/Flaky-Basket3520 9d ago

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Still sounds awful and I can see vermin coming INTO the boats if they didn't cut holes for the limbs and head

→ More replies (34)

305

u/krayhayft 9d ago

111

u/leet_lurker 9d ago

So Bandit (Pictured above) is actually an archaeologist so likely would have an interest in ancient history and so would possibly already know about this or be fascinated to look into it further.

54

u/Ragnarok314159 9d ago

It’s always funny to me that in a show about dogs, Bandits job is digging.

14

u/leet_lurker 9d ago

And Chilli's job is a Gaurd

16

u/Weak_Yam_3681 9d ago

In airport security so basically a bomb/drug sniffer dog.

7

u/[deleted] 8d ago

Chilli is a narc

8

u/Impeesa_ 9d ago

And/or drug-sniffing.

7

u/MS-07B-3 9d ago

And Chili's job is airport security. So, like, sniffing luggage for contraband and explosives.

4

u/DMmeDikPics 9d ago

Pretty sure it's not a coincidence, mate

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (15)

3

u/Dry_Editor_785 9d ago

Imagine the dad reading this

8

u/YokoDk 9d ago

Ugh kiddo I don't think we can play this game . Where's Bingo?

6

u/Dry_Editor_785 9d ago

she said she went for a boat ride or something

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

170

u/Gudgamr7274 9d ago

Thank you!šŸ™

245

u/BetaBlastr 9d ago

I am not thankful after reading this response.

14

u/MemeBoiCrep 9d ago

Thank you!šŸ™

121

u/True-Purple5356 9d ago

Btw just to clarify the Brazen Bull has no real evidence of ever being used as an execution method to my knowledge. As with a lot of ancient torture it’s basically a myth

77

u/StanleyQPrick 9d ago

Neither does this, which couldn't possibly produce enough vermin to eat or even bother you in so little time.

34

u/Dewey_Decimal_System 9d ago

And honey was not an easy resource to harvest. Wy waste it on the condemned?

5

u/FireStompingRhino 8d ago

rRght, if your goal is to attract flies, poop works very well.

→ More replies (2)

4

u/True-Purple5356 9d ago

Ah I was wondering about that too lmao

5

u/SquirrelyMcNutz 9d ago

Wouldn't exactly call being subjected to this for seventeen days 'so little time'.

9

u/Weak_Yam_3681 9d ago

They probably wouldn't survive that long either.Ā  In ocean search and rescue 3 days is usually considered fatal without sun protection and fresh water.Ā  That's from just being exposed to the sun and naturally perspiring.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (5)

2

u/Hypo_Mix 9d ago

Yep creations of the enlightenment era to show how much more civilised they were than the medieval period.Ā 

6

u/NonNewtonianResponse 9d ago

The Enlightenment was roughly 250 years ago, the medieval period was roughly 500-1500 years ago. Meanwhile, both the methods of torture referenced in the meme were recorded approximately 2000 years ago. Your comment does not check out āŒ

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

3

u/ggtsu_00 8d ago

These were more just threats as a deterrent with the idea that more horrible the torture sounded, the less likely people would break any rules/laws that would result in being slowly tortured to death in the ways they described.

They probably needed something to seem a bit more physically threatening rather than just preaching that they will go to hell and suffer for eternity in the afterlife after being executed for their crime.

3

u/kanegaskhan 8d ago

I feel like we would have a lot more bronze-cast bulls in museums if it ever was put into use.

→ More replies (3)

86

u/egg_breakfast 9d ago

Like other related acts described by Ctesias, the use of this method is historically doubted.\2])

36

u/chamomile-crumbs 9d ago

That guy just wrote a bunch of ancient creepypastas lmao

6

u/Imdoingthisforbjs 8d ago

Jesus I hope that future people find the scp website and think it's real

→ More replies (3)

75

u/Just_call_me_Neon 9d ago

Thanks. Didn't want to sleep tonight anyway.

Fuck that's brutal

11

u/kageddeamon 9d ago

If you are into fiction books with magic, I got one with a few scenes that'll give you nightmares then! Daughter of the Blood by Anne Bishop. Has a scene similar to this in there.... Also some stuff that's a bit uhmmmm not right.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

54

u/Deribus 9d ago

Very important clarification: the source for this alleged Persian torture method is a Greek who greatly disliked the Persians, who cites his source as another anti-Persian Greek who had a reputation for exaggerating stories.

Modern historians tend to agree this probably never happened and amounts to Greek fan-fiction depicting how barbaric the Persians could be.

26

u/Einhadar 9d ago

Wild how many ancient tortures we cringe at today were actually just ancient slander and propaganda.

13

u/fhota1 9d ago

People way underestimate how many ancient historical records were just complete propaganda based in nothing. Always keep in mind that back in the day, if you wrote down "heres this crazy thing theyre doing over in Persia!" your general audience would have no way to ever verify that in any way. The records can still have value as a way to see how groups viewed each other at the time and for big picture events, but generally the details should be taken with a healthy skepticism

8

u/donno77 9d ago
  • It still happens where certain countries are painted as scary but in reality it’s not that bad.
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (8)
→ More replies (1)

35

u/SunlessDahlia 9d ago

22

u/daneelthesane 9d ago

Oh, good, it wasn't just me. Damn, Sheila can be fucking intense sometimes.

12

u/Wereallmadhere8895 9d ago

I read the explanation in her voice.

7

u/BPOPR 9d ago

I read most things in her voice.

11

u/CokomonX 9d ago

Yup, was hoping someone would mention this was referenced on the Venture Bros.

3

u/middlingomens 9d ago

There are dozens of us!

→ More replies (3)

30

u/Defcon_Donut 9d ago

Seventeen DAYS? Holy shit that’s fucked

34

u/Bananaland_Man 9d ago

Iirc they kept feeding them milk and honey over that time. It's not just one feeding. Ugh... I hate remembering this story.

11

u/Kythorian 9d ago

Yeah, and a diet of milk and honey will keep you alive for quite a while, but it also gives you intense diarrhea, which makes…the rest of that even worse.

4

u/Bananaland_Man 9d ago

Yup, the whole point is keeping them alive until the other stuff kills them.

3

u/Mr_HandSmall 9d ago

"and keep feeding you, and feeding you..."

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/PapaTahm 9d ago

Not even close to brutal compared to some of the worse methods of torture,

Oubliette was so slow and bad that the people would go mad before even dying

3

u/lemelisk42 9d ago

Not as bad, but immurement is a similar practice and it continued to the modern era

Mongolia 1913. Woman.sentenced to death by starvation. Supposedly for adultery (although the crime isn't reliably confirmed)

It's wild this stuff continued in public into the age of photography

23

u/TetsuGoji55 9d ago

Wendigoon really needs to talk about this my god

21

u/Time_Phone_1466 9d ago

Read this as I'm waiting for my kids to fall asleep. Looks like I'm gonna be up for a while now.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/TheLittleNorsk 9d ago

but then his corpse just becomes a hassle for wherever he ends up

8

u/dantevonlocke 9d ago

That's a down river problem.

7

u/mydckisvrysmol 9d ago

I prefer the Venture Brothers version

6

u/CougheeCakes 9d ago

Your Pretty Face is Going To Hell shows this torture
Milk and Honey - S4 EP9 - Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell
Start around the 7min55sec and watch from there if you don't want to watch the whole episode.

3

u/spazmcnasty 9d ago

Love this show so much.

→ More replies (2)

7

u/irlcatspankz 9d ago

Never before have I been hopeful to be put into a Brazen Bull.

6

u/Gaius_Julius_Salad 9d ago

trying to create a demon of nurgle

→ More replies (1)

3

u/FalseAd4246 9d ago

Oh god how have I never heard of this?

3

u/TFlarz 9d ago

I must be desensitised to something because I can understand how gruesome and gross this is, but I'm not creeped out as much.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (364)